Chapter 7: Co-Commander

*Prince Charming has offered Puss a deal, which he accepts. Charming has also revealed that he has captured Merlin the Wizard, knowing that Arthur will be lost without the old man. Shrek, Donkey, and Kitty have left for Farquaad's castle, in an attempt to rescue their friend.*


(Shrek, Donkey, and Kitty are walking through the swamp, and have been for a while. Shrek and Donkey are somewhat ahead of Kitty.)

Shrek (Turning to the queen): Come on, Kitty! Hurry up!

Donkey (Whispering, leaning towards Shrek): Shrek, I wouldn't rush her. She blames herself, ya know.

Shrek (Stopping and turning to Donkey): Yeah, I know, but we're going to save her boyfriend. I would think she'd be more, I don't know, excited about it. Especially thinking about when Puss talked about her.

Donkey: Well, maybe she knows something that we don't know.

(The two turn to Kitty, who's just walking up.)

Shrek: Kitty, are you alright?

Kitty (Seeming a little distracted): What? Yes, I'm fine.

Donkey: Well, you obviously aren't fine!

(Kitty gives him a look. Shrek sighs irritably and turns to her, squatting down.)

Shrek (Putting his hand on her shoulder): Listen, Donkey and I are just as worried as you are about Puss, but we're more worried about you right now, that's all. Is there something you want to tell us?

Kitty (She pauses, looking up at Shrek like she's about to say something, then shakes her head): No. I'm fine.

Donkey (Walking up to her): Well just know that we're here for you if you need to talk. (She smiles) Now, I heard that you are very sneaky. Show us how sneaky you can be!

Kitty (Smirking): Oh really? Haven't I scared you enough?

Shrek: (Laughs) Although I would like to see that, we have to keep moving.

Kitty: Yes, he is right.

Donkey: Well then what are we waiting for? Let's go! (He runs ahead)

(Shrek and Kitty laugh at him. Kitty puts her hand on her waist belt while laughing.)

Kitty (Eyes opening wide in shock): Oh no! Where is it? (She frantically begins to search the area)

Shrek: What? Where's what?

Kitty (Turning to him): The letter! Where's my letter?

Shrek: What letter?

Donkey (Running up to them): GUYS! LOOK AT WHAT I'VE FOUND!

(Shrek turns and sees the Donkey had found Puss' hat. Kitty keeps searching.)

Donkey (Noticing Kitty): What's wrong with her? Kitty, come on! I just found Puss' hat!

Shrek: Hold on a sec. (He walks up to Kitty and picks her up by the scruff of her neck.) You've been hiding something from us that is obviously important. Now, what is it?


(Puss stares at a large crowd of villains in the room where the throne is. He is standing to the left of Prince Charming, with LeChant on Fairy Godmother's son's right.)

Charming: Everyone! I have called you all here to make an important announcement: Puss in Boots is now co-commander of the "Return." (Shocked gasps come from the crowd.) I know that some of you don't agree to this, but let's not forget that this cat is one of the best known outlaws in the land, and knows the castle of that boy Arthur. He can assist us in our attack, and has agreed to do so. Puss and LeChat (she nods) will be leading an attack on the inside of the castle, and will capture Arthur in the process. I will need a team of small, sneaky volunteers to go with them. Any questions?

Hansel (Walking forward): Yeah. Why him? (He trips and a loud crash follows.)

(Everyone, including Puss and excluding the other two leaders, laugh. LeChant face palms.)

Charming: (Sighs irritably) Because he can actually steal things and can keep quiet. (The laughing dies down) Any more questions? (Silence) LeChat, would you like to say anything?

LeChat (Stepping forward): I am very pleased to be working with Puss, and will be taking this role graciously. (She turns to Puss) We will be choosing the members of our team in one hour.

Puss (Interrupting and glancing at her, whispering): We are? (Looking up and realizing he is supposed to say something, he clears his throat) Yes, I am very pleased to be working with you all, and am excited to storm the castle. Let's hear it for the Prince!

(He puts a big smile on his face and gestures to Prince Charming. The crowd stays silent. LeChant shakes her head.)

Charming: Yes. Back to work, everyone! We'll attack soon.

(The crowd disperses. LeChat begins to walk off and Puss runs after her.)

Puss: Hey, wait!

LeChat (Turning to him as he walks up.): Let me tell you one thing, monsieur. I do not like working with others. And if you make a fool of yourself again, you're in for it. Comprenez-vous? (Do you understand?)

(She beings to walk away, Puss walking after her.)

Puss (Rather shocked): Si, but if you like working alone, why are you doing this?

LeChat: For the money, obviously, but also for the fun of it. I love a good challenge, and this seemed perfect.

Puss: Well, what about Jack and Jill?

LeChat: Hansel and Gretel? They're technically my owners, and they wanted to do this, as well. We just got assigned to capture you.

Puss: And you came up with the plan? (She nods) I see.

(A man walks up)

Man: Monsieur et Mademoiselle, your Highness would like to have a meeting.

Puss: Let's go, I've been waiting for this.

(They walk off.)


(Puss and LeChat are standing on a table with a map on it. Charming stands in front of the map, in a small room. The map is of the castle.)

Charming (Pointing to the map): So you two will enter through the tower, while the rest will be standing guard. Puss will lead the way to the gates, and open them. Then the two of you will go to the throne room and capture Arthur.

Puss (Looking up at the human): And, where will you be during all this?

Charming: Waiting for you to open the gates. I will come in afterwards, and claim my throne, as it should've been years ago.

(Puss looks down sheepishly.)

LeChat: And I'll stop the guards from attacking you. There won't be many of them. I was just there.

Charming: Yes, that'll be all.

(Puss and LeChat jump off the table and walk out the door. Charming turns around, and then pulls out a picture from his jacket.)

Charming (Lovingly to the picture): See Mother? I am that wise baby boy you knew I was. (Proudly) Now I will rule Far Far Away, and get my revenge on that ogre! No one's going to stop me!

(He laughs evilly, then suddenly stops and turns around. Captain Hook is standing by the door.)

Hook: Your Highness, our spies have found something.


(Fiona walks through the front door of the shack, humming. She turns, and notices a small piece of paper on the floor.)

Fiona: Hm? (She picks it up and begins to read it. Her eyes open wide and she gasps.) Oh no. (She sprints out the door.)