Author's Note: Don't own Twilight. LET THE EVIL PLANS BEGIN!
Chapter Seven: Sir, I slept with your daughter
Edward's POV
I vaguely saw my plan play out in one of Alice's visions. It was going to work. She nodded in my direction with a smile. She whispered something to Jasper and they left the room. I told Rose to keep Nanny busy until Alice was ready for her. I hurried out to the garage and got in my Volvo. I drove down to Bella's.
I was in luck; Charlie's police cruiser was in the driveway. I left the motor running and knocked on the door. Bella answered. "Hi," I said, "I need to talk to Charlie. Please just go along with it."
I walked into the living room and found Charlie watching a basketball game. "Chief Swan, I need to tell you something." He glared in my direction for interrupting his game. Or it could have been because I was alive. "Sir, I wanted to tell you, I slept with your daughter."
The look on his face in that moment was priceless, but I didn't have time to appreciate it. I took off running for my Volvo; Charlie hot on my heels. I jumped in and sped off down the street. I could hear the sirens as he pursued.
I reached my house in five minutes with Charlie still following. Alice thought to me that she was ready. I lurched out the car; running as soon as my feet hit the ground. I led him through the woods to the back of my house. Everyone was gathered in a circle near the river. They parted as I ran up to them.
Without Emmett and Jasper blocking the view you could see the Nanny. And most importantly, Charlie could too. She was facing us, smoking pot. However Alice had done it, she was a genius! Charlie stopped chasing me and stared, mouth agape, at Nanny. He walked over to her. "Ma'am, what are you smoking?"
She shrugged and took another drag. I knew he could tell what it was. He would have to arrest her! We were Nanny free! "I believe you are smoking marijuana," he said.
She looked at him and said, "Could be." This was too funny. "I believe you're going to have to come with me." He turned to me and said, "I'll deal with you later."
I couldn't believe he'd actually believed that. "Sir, I didn't really sleep with Bella. I just said that so you would follow me. And it worked."
Of course, he chose not to believe that. He'd believe Bella. I think. Maybe I should have said something else. No, I couldn't have missed that look on his face. He took Nanny around to his cruiser and drove off. We all spent a good half hour laughing our butts off. "Hey Em, you ready to stalk some werewolves?"
He grinned widely and me and said, "Heck yeah!"
A/N: Kinda short, but the next two chapters will rock your socks. You will rofl like a waffle. I promise.
