Chapter 7

Elphaba proceeded to tell me about a very rude boy who ran her over while he was sleeping in his cart. "I think he's a prince or a lord or something like that," she said. "Whatever. Anywhere, I confront him, and he says, 'Maybe the driver saw green and thought it meant go'! I mean, honestly! He's now neck and neck with Galinda for Most Self Absorbed Person at Shiz."

"Sounds like it." I suddenly remembered something. "Hey, the other day, Fralina was squealing to me about some Prince Fiyero coming to Shiz. She said his reputation was scandalatious, whatever that means."

Fabala nodded in recognition. "Yup. That sounds like him. Ugh. I'm gonna go get cleaned up. With this Fiyero around, Galinda is definitely not in our room. I'll see you tonight, Nessa."

"Bye, Fabala." I went back over to Evit. "Another day, another dickhead."

"Is your sis alright?" he asked concernedly.

"Yeah," I sighed. "She just had to rant about this obnoxious idiot who mowed her down and then harassed her. I'm often on the receiving end of her rants. Oh, look." I caught sight of Galinda flirting furiously with a boy who was almost illegally handsome. "There he is, I think."

Evit looked. "They look like plastic dolls! So typical!"
"I know!"

We watched as Galinda and Fiyero dance and talk about whatever brainless people talk about. A Munchkin boy was hovering around Galinda, obviously trying to get her attention. I was pleasantly surprised to see her actually take him aside to gently reject him, but that surprise quickly turned to horror as Galinda pointed to me. I froze.

"OF COURSE I'LL INVITE HER!" the Munchkin declared to the whole courtyard. "I'D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, MISS GALINDA!"

As this Munchkin boy practically ran towards us, Evit and I prepared to bolt, but it was too late. "Shit," Evit mumbled under his breath. My thoughts exactly.

"Excuse me, Miss Nessarose," the boy started. "My name is Boq Wolsned, and I was wondering if you would like to come with me to Fiyero's party tonight at the Ozdust."

I gave him my sweetest smile. "Why, thank you very much for the invitation, Master Boq, but I'm afraid Master Evit and I already have plans. We're going beer hopping at every bar in Shiz. So go back to your stupid crush, and tell her that her plan to dump you off onto the 'poor, helpless cripple' failed."

He took no time at all to do just that. "MISS GALINDA! SHE DIDN'T WANT TO GO WITH ME!"

Evit gave me an impressed look. "You're good."

"I don't know what you mean," I said sarcastically. "But I do happen to be free tonight, sooo …"

"Do I want to go beer hopping with you? Hell yeah!" Ah, beer hopping! The perfect way to shed my "innocent crippled governor's daughter" image.

"It's absurd!" Elphaba exclaimed when she came that night to give me a shower. "This silly rich boy appears, and now everyone's off to worship him at this cultish social gathering. Even me."

I was surprised. "Even you?"

"Yup. Galinda dumped Boq on me, and he was so lovesick, I couldn't turn him down." She rolled her eyes. "Pray for me tonight, Nessa. I'm going to be in hell."

I scoffed. "Better you than me, sis. You know, she tried to get him to go with me first."

"No shit!"

"Yep. What a condescending bitch."

Evit and I started our alcoholic tour of Shiz at the Boar and Fennel. "I'd like some preserved Winkie beer," Evit told the bartender.

"Coming right up," the bartender said. "And perhaps some Riddle Lite for the lady?"

"Perhaps not," I said, using the same sweet tone that I had used with Boq. "I'd like maybe one of your local brands, such as Fennel's Blend."

The shocked expression on his face was hilarious. "Oookay. Yes, ma'am. I'll have that ready for you in just a clock tick."

"You love the shock factor, don't you?" Evit said with a grin.

I shrugged. "What can I say? I like being full of surprises."

Later on, the two of us were sipping our drinks, minding our own business, when I felt someone jolt me from behind. "Hey!" Evit yelled. "That's my girlfriend you just whacked! Asshole!"

I was distracted from the surprise of Evit using a certain word when I saw who had hit me. "You!" I exclaimed angrily. "Is your mission to knock over everybody in sight?!"

Fiyero looked confused. "Huh?"

"Yeah! The girl you ran over today? She's my sister! And I don't take kindly to people who mess with my sister!" His perfectly handsome face just made me even more annoyed.

"Well, your stupid green sister should've been paying attention instead of reading some weird book." And he sauntered away before I could say anything back.

I fumed. "Obnoxious, brainless idiot!"
"Let it go, Nessa," Evit said calmly. "He's not worth it."

We went to about five bars after that. I only ordered one drink from each, so I was only a little bit tipsy. Evit, on the other hand, was swerving into walls and singing "What We Don't Allow in the Public Halls" at the top of his lungs. I offered for him to stay in my room until his PA. This was a bit of a mistake, as he took it the wrong way. "We should do it," he said, kissing me up my neck. "Right now."

Part of me was screaming, "YES, NESSA! DO IT!" But my better judgment somehow came through. "No, Ev. We're drunk. We're not gonna remember it tonight, an' I wanna remember it."

"Good point." Still, I knew that when we did get around to going further, Evit would make it a wild ride.