~ Chapter Seven ~

Harry Potter held his muggle pen above the first blank page of the journal in his lap a third time, only to pull it away with a sigh, still unsure how to put his feelings into words properly.

The day after Fred and George had made their second visit to Privet Drive, the Dursleys had been entertaining guests and Harry had been left in his cupboard. He had tossed and turned on his thin mattress the entire day and through the night, wishing for a quill or a pen and some light to write by. He was itching to try the journal the twins had given him, not able to shake his pessimistic doubt about the books working over such a long distance. Besides, he was eager to hear how Hedwig was. He wasn't looking forward to when Uncle Vernon would inevitably realize the snowy owl had gone missing.

That morning his Aunt had finally released him from beneath the stairs and he had snagged a pen while left alone in the kitchen to prepare breakfast. While his relatives ate, Harry slipped into the backyard, sitting where Charlie Weasley had recently sprawled in the summer heat watching him work. There Harry had reverently opened his journal and scribbled "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" on the first page and held his breath. Within moments, several pages were filling with the twins' writing and he read through the heart-breaking conversation that had been shared between the brothers the night before:

I solemnly swear I up to no good.

Fred? Come on Fred, tell me you found a pen...

I solemnly swear I am up to no good.

George, thank Merlin. Mum just locked me in my room, and I had to wait until she left to try writing, I was worried you wouldn't remember the journals.

Where are you? There are silencing charms all over this room and mum hexed my door away. There's no way I'm getting out without a wand.

Same here... George, it's the middle of the night. I've never slept without you.

...I know...

I feel empty.

You know wizards aren't really meant to be separated from their wands, it's bound to feel strange...

That's not it.

...I know.

Fred, we need to make a decision.

About Harry?

Subtle.

And yes, about Harry.

Tell him.

...Just like that? Have you even thought this through?

What's there to think about? This is the only way I can talk to you for Merlin knows how long. And mum caught us, it's probably only a matter of time before he finds out about us anyway. Wouldn't you rather he hear it from us?

I know, but... he'll hate us.

He didn't hate us for giving that trick candy to his fat cousin and making his Uncle treat him like hippogriff dung.

This is different.

Yeah.

You're saying we don't really have a choice, right?

I love you, brother.

I love you too.

You start?

Where? From the beginning? The long version with all the nitty gritty details? Or short and sweet, like...

...ripping off a bandaid? Yeah, that's probably best.

Right.

I'm in love with my twin brother, Harry.

And I'm in love with mine.

And mum caught us snogging after we came back from bringing you your journal...

...which if you're reading this you've figured out how to work it, congrats mate...

...and wasn't too pleased.

She thinks we're just being FredAndGeorge, experts at being irresponsible and careless.

She thinks we're curious, looking for attention...

...gay and experimenting.

Mum's not too keen on the idea of a gay son, it would seem.

...Bloody hell, Bill's at the door. Mum must've called him. Gotta go.

Mischief managed.

That can't be good.

Look, Harry, I hope you're at least still reading this and haven't chucked your journal out of disgust without giving us a chance to explain. We know we're not supposed to feel this way about each other. Don't you think we've tried to stop? I don't even think that it's a gay thing... not that we have the same problems with that issue as mum, but it's just, I dunno, different with us? Like, it's not just that I don't fancy girls. I don't fancy guys, either. I just fancy Fred. I've only ever fancied Fred. Is it normally supposed to work like that? I mean-

Bullocks. Bill's here now. Bye, Harry.

Mischief managed.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Awww, I fancy you too, Georgie! Does that make us incredibly egotistical I wonder? Us being identical and all.

Anyway, I suppose I'll take over.

He's right Harry. I don't look at other blokes in the showers after quidditch or anything. I don't imagine I'd have much interest in the girls either, though. But George... have you seen where he has freckles at? I mean damn!

...Sorry, that's probably not helping... I'm not very good at this, George is better at the deep conversations.

By the way, how can you tell us apart? Back at the Dursleys, you knew who was who even in the dark. I didn't think anyone but Charlie could pull that off. And now that I think about it, I don't think you've ever mixed us up. What gives, Potter?

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Bill's a bloody git.

I take it your conversation went well then?

Oh brilliant.

Fred, I can't believe you watched me in the showers at quidditch!

I thought... I mean, you always... sorry?

Clearly, you're the perverted twin.

I only watch you in the showers when there aren't other people around.

Harry's never going to be able to look either one of us in the eye again.

...Fred, he's probably not even reading this anymore. Look at what we've told him. How could he possibly be okay with... any of this?

Maybe he's-

Bill's back.

Mischief managed.

Round two then. Brilliant.

I'll talk to you after he has his second go at me.

Mischief managed

Harry imagined his friends, miserable and trapped in a way that no one would understand better than himself. He had grown used to the dull, fuzzy feeling that came with losing connection with his magic completely during the summers. He couldn't imagine what that must feel like being experienced for the very first time as adult wizards. But what really had him at a loss for words was how they must feel separated from each other. What could he possibly say to make up for even a fraction of that sort of loneliness? He sighed, knowing that he probably didn't have much time and refusing to write nothing and have them think that he was rejecting them.

I solemnly swear I am up to no good.

After all the hate I've seen in the world, I'm not about to condemn love in any form. Besides, if you weren't together that would mean you'd have to end up with different people in totally separate relationships some day or be alone forever, and either of those options just seem... wrong, somehow.

I do NOT hate you.

Don't get caught with the journals, none of us can handle being cut off from the world anymore. And I-

I-

Dementors. Dudley.

XxXxXxXxX

Sirius crouched in Buckbeak's room, the hippogriff watching with interest from the other side of the room. He had just cast a reverse transfiguration charm on the ivory pen Fred had given him the night before, and was now staring dumbfounded at a thin, frantic version of Harry's owl.

"Shhh, Hedwig. It's okay." He started to reach for her but held his hand still when she bristled and snapped her beak warningly. "Hey now, I won't hurt you. It's alright." He continued to hold his hand still for several long minutes, stretched out in front of him, waiting patiently. The snowy owl watched him wearily, but finally inched forward enough to nudge her head under his fingers. He sighed in relief and carefully stroked her soft feathers. "Fred and George have got a lot of explaining to do…" he muttered to no one in particular, and thought back to the scene that had woken him last night.

Molly had woken half the house screaming for Fred and George. Sirius stumbled out of the library (He had gone back into his room to get the twins after cleaning up what remained of their inventions after their mother was through with them. No one answered his knock, though, and when he pushed the door open he had seen them curled up together on his bed, sound asleep and arms and legs holding each other close. He paused for a moment watching them, wondering just how close the two brothers were, but eventually just shrugged deciding it wasn't any of his business. He hadn't had the heart to wake them however, and shut the door quietly behind him before wandering down to the library to sleep on a couch there.). Sirius thought at first that the boys were still sleeping in his room, and carefully avoided Molly as he snuck up to check. When he didn't find them there he pulled out his wand and cast the spell that allowed only the head of the Black family or his heir to connect with the wards of Grimmauld Place. He sensed when the twins had slipped out several hours earlier and groaned, not looking forward to the conversation with their mother.

"Molly!" He called, making his way towards his mother's screeching portrait and trusting the Weasley matriarch to find him there. He was definitely too tired to handle two screaming women at once.

"Black! This had better be damn important! My sons are missing and if you called me down here just to-!"

"Molly, lower your voice, I just dealt with the ugly hag don't set her off again, for Merlin's sake. Fred and George aren't here, I checked the wards, and they left several hours ago. I'm sure they just wanted some space, after…"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY LEFT?!" From behind them, blood-curdling shouts of mudbloods, half-breeds and blood traitors filled the air and Sirius growled.

"I mean, they are not currently in the house," he ground out irritated, turning to angrily force his mum into silence once again.

"I told Dumbledore we shouldn't trust your word on these wards, you've just spent over a decade in Azkaban! What was the man thinking? You SWORE you could adjust the wards to keep the children from leaving unaccompanied!"

"AND I DID!" He roared, finally snapping at the jab at his time in prison on top of her insinuations that he was not to be trusted. "Going against all my morals and beliefs I set the wards so no underage witch or wizard could either enter or exit this building without the accompaniment of an of-age witch or wizard, with the exception of Harry who, as the heir to the Black family line, cannot be magically restricted in the same ways. I did EXACTLY what I told Dumbledore I would!"

"If you did it right, then Fred and George wouldn't have-!"

"FRED AND GEORGE ARE OF AGE!" Sirius shouted, cutting her off.

"THEY'RE ONLY CHILDREN!" She screamed back. Black opened his mouth to respond, but paused as the wards (which he had yet to sever his connection with) alerted him to the nearby apparition of two witches or wizards.

"Two people just apparated right outside the wards, it's probably them," he told Mrs. Weasley tiredly, then turned to deal with his mother's portrait once more while Molly rushed to the front door. There was a moment of blessed silence after she rushed outside and the portrait was silenced once more, and then Molly's voice echoed shrilly through the open door, cold and harsh enough to have even Sirius wincing.

"Step. Away. From each other. NOW!" Sirius wandered over curiously, and peered past Mrs. Weasley to see the twins standing shoulder to shoulder, both their faces deathly pale as they faced their mother.

She was clearly furious, but Black was stunned into silence by her actions for the second time in the past twenty-four hours when she summoned their wands and marched upstairs with only one twin in tow.

"Okay, that's not even bloody legal," he muttered, patting his own wand in his pocket, remembering all too well the feeling of being cut off from his magic all those years in Azkaban.

"Sirius, take this. Quick, before she comes back." He looked up at his name, the remaining twin's voice breaking as he tried to hold back tears. He was holding out an ornate muggle pen, cradling it gently in two hands. "Be careful. Take her somewhere she can't get out and transfigure her back. She hasn't eaten in days, and we promised we'd take care of her and not let her out. You have to take care of her for us, please. I'll do anything, just don't let mum see, please!" He begged, stumbling over his words as he rushed to convince the older man to help him.

"Hey, hey, of course, let me see… her," Sirius assured him quickly, taking the pen and tucking it carefully into his robes. Moments later Molly was back and she dragged the second twin off much like his brother, leaving Sirius standing alone in the entrance to Grimmauld Place. He turned to look through the open door longingly, wanting nothing more than to step out past the protection of headquarters and breathe fresh air again.

Dumbledore had told him the ministry had placed an illegal tracking spell on his magical signature, though. Leaving the house, even sending owl post past the wards, it would get him a one-way ticket to a dementor's kiss. If that thought alone weren't enough to keep him from rushing out to the lure of freedom, the thought that he was Harry's only chance of possibly escaping the Dursleys had kept him cooped up all summer. He hung his head, and shut the door, leaning back against it and sliding to the floor as fell into the all-to-familiar haze of despair that had clouded him for weeks.

Sirius squared his shoulders, physically pulling himself out of the memory. He conjured a goblet of cool water and began shredding tiny pieces of food from his pocket to dip in the water and feed to the weak owl with quiet murmurs of encouragement. Inside his mind was racing, one thought taking over: if Fred and George had Hedwig, they had been to see Harry. He had to find a way to talk to them.

XxXxXxXxX

Bill sat on the bed, staring intently at his hands as he listened to the twins.

"We're not choosing this Bill, there's no choice," Fred insisted.

"We didn't want this or plan on it."

"It's not like we woke up one morning and said 'Hey, I know…'"

"'…why don't I try snogging my twin brother…'"

"'…just for shits and giggles.'" Bill glanced up at their hopeful faces, knowing how badly they wanted him to understand and wishing he did.

"I get that you've thought this through, and that you aren't trying to be irresponsible, or… or looking for attention or anything, but… why do you have to… do stuff… with each other? Why not find a pretty girl, or a nice bloke even? Even if you fancied men, I'm sure mum would come around eventually." He caught Fred's wince just before George threw his hands up in frustration and started yelling.

"There isn't anyone else we'd want to do anything with, why can't you get that? You really want to know why we 'have to do stuff with each other'? Because when we're walking down the halls at school, Fred's ass is the only one I watch. Because every wet dream I've had has been about Fred. Because when I'm lying in bed and wanking with a silencing charm up so I don't get caught, I imagine it's Fred's hands. Because…" His anger seemed to be draining away, and Fred held his arms open for his brother to curl into. "Because no one understands me or loves me or sees me the way Fred does. Because something bad happens and he's the one I want to talk to about it, and because something good happens and he's the one I want to share it with. Because when he smiles my heart beats faster. I'm in love with him, Bill. I don't want anyone else, I'm never going to want anyone else, because I've already found my better half." Bill looked up and watched as Fred tenderly brushed the hair from his twin's forehead, George leaning up to press a gentle kiss to his cheek, both of them brushing comforting patterns into the other's back with their fingertips.

"I told you they weren't confused," Charlie whispered, watching his little brothers a little sadly. His eyes met Bill's, and the older boy sighed, knowing he had to say something.

"I don't know how to feel. This is all really new, and… unexpected. But I KNOW I love you, and that nothing will ever change that. I can't say I'm okay with… this. But I'm going to try to trust you to do the right thing." He watched guiltily as his little brothers' shoulders all drooped, wishing he could give them the understanding they were clearly hoping for, but determined to give them the honesty they deserved no matter what. "Look, I know…" he started, but cut himself off quickly and paled as he heard his mother calling him from just outside the door. "Bloody hell." Charlie grabbed his hand and pulled Fred firmly into his arms, nudging George away as gently as he could, even as the twins reached for each other desperately.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, then with a quiet crack they left George behind and reappeared in Fred's room.

"I didn't get to say goodbye," Fred whispered, head down.

"Fred, I…" Charlie eyes were shining with emotion, and Bill's heart ached at the pain and guilt he heard there. Just at that moment their mother's frantic voice was heard once more, this time calling clearly for Bill, and the ring hanging on a chain around Charlie's glowed and let off a piercing wail.

"Mum—" "The dragon reserve—" the two older boys started talking at once, and both leapt into action. Bill tore from the room, setting the hexed door to close automatically behind Charlie and rushing towards his mother's voice. Charlie tugged on his ring, shutting off the wailing and hesitating only for a second before reaching into his robes and pulling out both twins' wands.

"I'm casting a locking spell on these," he told Fred, "Give me your hand. Good. Now only you or I will be able to pick them up or summon them after I've set them down. I'm going to put them under the bed. Once you pick them up, the spell is gone. Think very, very carefully before you make that decision. There's an emergency at the reserve, I have to go. Here, take this," he rushed, pulling another ring off his finger and sliding it onto George's hand, which he still held in his own. "It's a special portkey. Tap it with your wand three times and it will transport directly outside my hut on the reserve. I have to use one to go back now, but this one is for you and George. I trust you to use it if, and only if, you ever truly need it. You WILL get through this Fred, I believe in you. I love you," he finished, grabbing the twin in a bone-crushing hug before pushing him away and with three taps of his wand, disappearing.

At that same moment, Bill was rushing out of Grimmauld Place with a small band of order members, headed to Privet Drive where the wards on Harry Potter's relatives' house had alerted Dumbledore to the presence of dark creatures and the use of underage magic.