Title: Precarious
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Sweden/Finland
Summary: Away from home at boarding school it's very easy to forget about the rest of the world. But Tino Väinämöinen is about to learn that being away from home isn't all it's cracked up to be, and that people keep secrets even from those they love the most. Gakuen Hetalia AU
Berwald's grasp of the English language became significantly worse when he was drunk. His already thick accent became even worse, and his hesitant grasp on English grammar turned tenuous at best. But Tino could not complain; he was not doing much better. Despite protests that he should not have too much, Tino had a half drunk beer in one hand as he leaned against the counter in the corner of the kitchenette where he and Berwald had holed up away from everyone else. "An' Mum's not even gonna send me salmiakki for m' birthday," the Finn was complaining. "Asked an' she said no."
"Tha's mean," Berwald said with a frown. "'S your birthday."
"I know!" Tino pouted and took another swig of his drink.
"When 's it?" Berwald asked.
"What?" Tino asked in return.
"Birthday," the Swede clarified.
"Oh. It's six Joulukuu… December," Tino corrected himself. "Six December."
"Soon," Berwald commented in surprise. Only a little over a month away.
"Joo," Tino agreed. "Dunno what 'm gonna do. Birthday at school is boring."
Berwald did not have a chance to answer before some well-meaning, and surprisingly still sober, partygoer began shouting that it was almost curfew. Tino grumbled in annoyance and downed the last of his drink. "Stupid curfew," he complained, and pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against. He wavered on his feet for a moment before gaining secure footing. "I don' wanna go to sleep," he complained, and pouted as he looked up at Berwald.
"Sorry…" Berwald slurred with a shrug. But even drunk he knew Tino would get in trouble if he did not leave now, and he did not want Tino to get in trouble. And anyway, he could see Eduard heading over to escort his roommate back to their dorm. Eduard took Tino by the arm and began leading him away, and the Finn did not protest.
"Berwald, Berwald!" Tino said suddenly, turning around and pointing back at Berwald. "You… You should drink more. 'Cause it's fun. An' you should have fun. 'Cause… it's fun… yeah… goodnight!" And then Eduard pulled him off again, leading him out of the apartment and presumably back up the hill to the castle. Berwald blushed a little, but smiled as he watched them go.
"You should just ask him out," Mathias said suddenly, appearing from out of nowhere and leaning against the counter, and half over it to see what Berwald was staring at; namely Tino's retreating form.
"What?" Berwald exclaimed, startled both by his friend's sudden appearance and by what he had said.
Mathias turned to him with eyes wide and clueless, "What?" he parroted innocently. "I didn't say anything," he said, and pushed himself off the counter, disappearing before Berwald could stop stammering and say anything.
That Dane's words left Berwald flustered and confused. He was not interested in Tino like that. Not at all. No, definitely not. Well, maybe a little. But he was certain that Tino was not interested in him, so it was pointless. Besides, Mathias was drunk, he could not know what he was saying. And Berwald was not drunk enough to think that asking Tino out was a good idea. Although buying him a birthday present probably was.
The dining hall was practically abandoned on the Sunday morning that Berwald and Tino met there. In the weeks after the party Mathias had not said anything more to Berwald about Tino, which was certainly a good thing. Berwald did not want to be that confused again. Outside the sky was a dull grey; consumed by dark, heavy clouds that looked as though they might burst any moment and drench the castle and its grounds in rain and snow. Tino had been hoping it would snow. It was strange to him, the mild winters this far south, and that even up in the mountains as they were they did not receive as much snow as he was used to back home. Oddly, for as much as Tino complained about the harsh winters he was used to, this lack of snow made him feel a little homesick; nostalgic. He wondered if Berwald felt the same.
It was early December. The end of the term loomed on the horizon, and with it the inevitable threat of final exams. As expected, Tino was regretting his overly full schedule. An extra class meant extra work and extra stress. And even with Eduard's help he worried about failing Economics.
Thankfully, with Berwald he could put all of that out of his mind.
"Got y' a present," Berwald said, fidgeting nervously. From out of his school bag he took a small, rectangular package wrapped in simple brown paper. It was barely larger than Tino's hand when Berwald placed it in his palms.
"For me?" Tino asked, staring down at the brown paper. Immediately he began turning it over in his hands, examining the wrapping and the
"For your birthday," Berwald confirmed with a nod.
"You remembered," Tino said with surprise, but also a smile. He had not expected anything from Berwald, not even good wishes. He had told him about his birthday while they were both drunk; it was a miracle that Berwald remembered it. Of course, Tino was not the sort who refused presents regardless of when they were given. Smiling, excited, the Finn tore off the brown wrapping to reveal what was inside; an iconic black and white diamond box with red lettering. "Salmiakki!" Tino's eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning. "Where on earth did you get this?"
"Internet," Berwald replied with a shrug. "Sorry s'not much."
"Are you kidding?" Tino looked up at him with a grin that stretched from ear to ear and lit up his whole face. "This is the best present I've gotten yet. Thank you so much!" Setting the box of candies down, he stood up from his chair and leaned across the table to hug Berwald tightly, albeit awkwardly.
The Swede blushed, and hesitantly hugged him back. This was unexpected. Tino seemed far too excited for just a small box of candy, even if it was something he was homesick for. When Tino pulled back a moment later Berwald attempted to force the heat away from his cheeks, but he was really glad that such a small gift could make Tino so happy.
Still smiling Tino slipped the box of candy into his school bag and stood up. "Let's eat," he said, looking over at Berwald. "I'm going to save this for later." After breakfast, at least. It was unlikely that he would be able to make the treat last very long. In fact, the box would probably be empty by the end of the day. But that did not matter right now. Right now Tino was just happy that his friend had remembered his birthday and had thought to get him anything.
The pair went through the buffet line as usual, dishing themselves up some breakfast before returning to the table they had claimed only a short while earlier. Tino was in a very good mood despite the stresses of the end of a school term. This probably had something to do with the gift he had just received. The pair chatted amicably as they ate; Tino a bowl of oatmeal and a cup of black coffee and Berwald cereal, bacon, and a tall glass of juice.
"Berwald," Tino interrupted hesitantly, and he switched into Swedish in case they were overheard, although that was unlikely. This was not a discussion that he wanted put through the rumor mill. "You know everyone thinks we're dating or something, right?"
The Swede looked over at him curiously, then shrugged. "It can't be everyone," he replied.
"It might as well be," Tino grumbled. "Doesn't it bother you?"
Berwald actually had to think about that for a while. He usually did not pay much attention to rumors, but they were not usually about him, either. "Not really," He admitted eventually. "Why should it?"
"Because it's not true," Tino snapped, then calmed down quickly, regretting the small outburst. "Sorry… But it's just… annoying. I don't want people to think I'm dating you."
Berwald frowned. Though he knew Tino had not meant it to hurt, those words stung a little bit. "Would it really be so terrible?"
Startled, Tino looked up at him, and then blushed and shook his head quickly. "I don't mean it like that. You're a great guy, anyone would be really lucky to catch you. But I don't want them thinking things that aren't true. It really doesn't bother you at all? Not even a little?"
Berwald thought about it for another moment, and then shrugged again. "I guess. If it bothers you this much we could stop the tutoring. That's the only reason the rumor started."
The offer actually startled Tino a little bit. As much as he had been doubting the effectiveness of their "tutoring" sessions, he had never thought Berwald would want to end them. Maybe they were useless, but there was no harm in them. No harm except these rumors. "They'll just say we broke up, or something," Tino replied.
"But they won't say we're dating anymore. Isn't that what you want?" Berwald asked, looking at Tino curiously. It was the only way he could think of short of making a school-wide announcement; and that probably would not work anyway.
The problem was that Tino actually enjoyed their meetings. He felt incredibly comfortable around Berwald; something about the Swede's presence just put him at ease. Tino had never worried what Berwald thought of him, or about whether he was making a fool of himself. He never worried about saying the wrong thing, and if he did they both laughed it off; there was no embarrassment. And he could tell that Berwald felt the same, at least to an extent. Berwald was so much more talkative when they were in private than he was in front of their other friends, at least from what Tino had seen. From their talks Tino was able to glimpse into the inner workings of Berwald's mind; he was able to see what was going on behind the Swede's impassive face.
"You are a very strange person, Berwald," Tino said thoughtfully.
Berwald blinked at him in surprise. He was not sure whether he should be offended or not, so instead just asked. "What?"
"You're not like the others," Tino continued. "I can never tell what's going on in your head."
"Is that bad?" Berwald asked. How had their conversation taken this turn? Berwald was not sure he was comfortable with this new topic.
"I don't know," Tino commented, and rested his chin in his hands. "But I don't want to stop tutoring you. I like being able to see what is going on behind those glasses."
Berwald felt his cheeks heat up very slightly, though he was sure there was no way Tino could have meant that to have any ulterior meaning. "You do?"
"Is that weird?" Tino asked with a short laugh and continued without waiting for any reply from Berwald. "It probably is. I'm… just curious, I guess. You're a mystery, Berwald, but I like that about you."
To that, Berwald did not know how to reply, so he just stared down at the table between them. He felt a little embarrassed, but also strangely happy. Tino liked him. Well of course Tino liked him, he told himself, they spent so much time together it could not be considered school work anymore. Tino would not do that if he did not like Berwald.
"Did you ask him out?" Mathias asked almost as soon as the door opened, admitting Berwald back into their apartment. He was hunched over the coffee table with notes and textbooks spread out around him. As usual, cramming desperately for final exams and scrambling to finish projects that he had procrastinated away.
Berwald froze on the threshold and blushed from his collar all the way up to his ears. "No," he replied flatly.
Mathias scoffed. "Coward."
"Shut up," Berwald muttered tightly, and made a b-line for the bedroom. This was not something he wanted to deal with right after the conversation he had had with Tino. A conversation that seemed to suggest he would not be turned down flat if he did what Mathias had been prodding him to do for the past month. But that was easier said than done.
"You really should," Mathias called after him. "Before someone else asks him."
Berwald stopped again and glared back at Mathias. "No one else's gonna ask 'im," he argued.
"Why? Because everyone thinks you're already dating?" Mathias asked. "What if I tell them you've broken up? Tino's popular, I'm sure he'd have a lot of offers."
The comment caused Berwald to freeze in horror. Was that why Tino was so bothered by the rumors? Was there someone else he was interested in but could not get close to when everyone thought he was dating Berwald? Who? A sudden surge of jealousy welled up in Berwald's chest. It should have occurred to him before, but he was perfectly content with the way things were. It should have occurred to him that maybe, despite what he said, Tino was not.
But Berwald was not even interested in Tino that way, was he? No. Berwald shook his head and continued on, shutting himself into the bedroom to do his class work. Tino was just a friend. Probably his best friend, but still just a friend. He did not want to mess up their relationship by trying to make it something it was not. Not that it would be much different, Berwald realized. They already spent so much of their spare time together, knew so much about each other, and Tino was really the only person who could get Berwald to break out of his shell. How he managed to do that Berwald himself was still not sure. But he liked it.
He still could not ask Tino out, though. That was far too nerve wracking to even think about. He could not start dating Tino, a boy. Not even at boarding school, where it could be kept quiet. Tino deserved much better than him anyway, and much better than what Berwald could give him. Even if he wanted to, which Berwald assured himself he really did not, he could not do it. It was too dangerous.
