Thorin was worried. That's really all there was to it. He was worried about his kingdom, his crown, his friends, his nephews, but most importantly he was worried about his sister. Not in the same way as any of the other things he was worried about mind you, he was worried for his kingdom and his nephews and all the others, but Dis- he was worried about Dis.
In the many years since she was a child that could speak coherently and understood the joys of betraying her older sibling's ventures to their parents she was a formidable foe. As such, Thorin had had much time to come up with the many ways his sister might possibly enact her retribution. It wasn't likely to be direct, as she was the kind of person who didn't serve revenge cold, but rather as an arctic block of ice hurled at your head long after the original transgression was forgotten by everyone but her. No, whatever she did would be slow, and dealt out tenfold to the severity of whatever action she was punishing.
Thorin's only solace was in the fact that Dain was also likely going to be with him when his head was on the chopping block- he could enjoy the fact that when he went down he wouldn't be going alone, but it also meant that he needed to be wary of interacting with Dain in any manner that was no less than three times removed from the princess' direct influence.
He feared the day that Nori and Dis worked together, alone they were dangerous, but together… well, they would probably have a very dedicated spy network running all of middle earth at their command within a few months.
Thorin chose not to dwell on that.
Instead he fell deeper and deeper into a well of self-pity and anguish as the anticipation tormented him in his sick bed, and he did not squeak, thank you very much, when the door to his room opened.
Naturally, who would it be but the very person he least wished to see- as seemed to be the pattern these last few days- standing in the doorway, arms crossed and a scowl on her face.
"Brother."
Thorin swallowed. "Dis."
"You look terrible."
"I—"
She ignored him and continued speaking, the cue that he was to keep his mouth shut until she gave him permission to do otherwise.
"Although, I suppose it should be expected, I haven't seen you for nearly a year. All that traveling through the wilds would be hard on anyone."
Ah, so this was about his sister sons.
"And of course you nearly got yourself killed not a week ago, so I suppose I should be thankful." Her stare told him that she actually was thankful… but only just.
"I could be here, wearing mourning colors- probably that dress I wore after we buried our family and at my husband's funeral, all things considered the thing must be in terrible shape after all the use its gotten- and I could be sending my one remaining brother and my only two children back to the stone after they foolishly decided to fight a dragon and then a full-on war against not only my advice but that of many others."
"…"
"Dis, I—"
"No."
Dis sighed- a bone-deep, weary thing that told him more than any words just how tired and upset his sister really was. He knew it was most certainly his fault.
"No, brother, I don't want to hear it. You'll be apologizing here until the world's rebirth if you start now, and I'd rather you at least try to be a useful lump of a king and listen to me."
She took a seat on the edge of Thorin's bed as he shifted to make room for her, and took his hand in her own with a small, mournful smile.
"I missed you, y'know."
"And I you, Dis."
She looked him in the eye as her anger faded from her posture, not gone- both knew she was still bloody pissed at Thorin- but faded, showing the kind yet sorrowful heart that was so often hidden behind the jaded mask that everyone else knew.
Thorin took the peace offering for what it was and put his arms around his sister, heart aching as she clung to him with her breath hitching around sobs.
"I almost lost you. I almost lost the only family I have left, you daft fool." She hiccupped as Thorin ran his large palms up and down her back in a soothing gesture. "I don't know how but you did it. Somehow you- you gave us back our home, gave my sons the chance to actually be princes." She paused. "Thank you for keeping them safe for me."
Thorin closed his eyes against a well of tears at that; they were only ever in danger because of his own foolishness.
"Of course my dear sister, they are my life as much as they are yours." Coward.
Dis knew that wasn't true, if it was he would never have concocted his frankly suicidal scheme of retaking Erebor, but she let it lie. Her brother loved Fili and Kili, but a part of his heart was always going to be saved for their people and for Erebor. He may have been a father to them when Vili couldn't, but not even that could rival a mother's love.
She quieted her crying to light sniffling, dabbing at her eyes with the corner of the blanket as she removed herself from Thorin's embrace. She had things to discuss with him after all.
"I've heard from some of our relations that someone has caught your eye after all these years…"
Dis withheld her snickering as her brother stiffened, and then tried to act unaffected by her words. 'So, I was right.'
"So it's true, my brother- eternal bachelor king, haunted exile of Erebor married to his mountain- has finally fallen in lo~ove!"
Laughter finally broke out as she danced out of Thorin's reach when he made a grab at her, cackling madly when he blushed and started grumbling about 'nosy sisters who need to mind their own business.'
"Who is it? One of your company? Perhaps that Bofur fellow, he seems like he could keep you in check. Or is it one of the Iron Hills dwarrow? Dain will have a fit…"
Dis trailed off, almost having missed the tension that took her brother's frame at her second question. It was one of the company then, but whoever it was made Thorin upset. It must not have gone well then.
"So it's one of your company then. I say, I don't see what the issue is, they all seemed like good dwarrow to me. Even that Nori fellow when he isn't doing his best to get in other people's pockets."
Thorin didn't respond. Instead he chose to look anywhere but at his sister, hunching his shoulders and looking generally miserable.
A thought occurred to Dis. Well, several thoughts actually, but one that almost made her regret laughing at her brother's obvious romantic misery.
"Is… are they your One?"
A nod.
Dis took in a deep breath. This just got a bit more complicated.
"What happened? I'm assuming you at least told them."
Thorin paused and then tentatively shook his head. Mahal save her from the stubbornness of brothers.
"Well if you haven't told them no wonder you're miserable. You're missing out, why wouldn't you tell them? You're quest is over, you have your mountain, what's stopping you?" Leave it to her brother to be the one Dwarrow in existence to deny himself his One.
It was Thorin's turn to sigh; he knew he wasn't getting out of this, and Dis wouldn't drop it until she could do truly, absolutely nothing about it. Which she couldn't.
"I have several reasons." He stopped.
Dis gave him the look that said 'you're a bigger idiot than I thought if you think I'm leaving without all the details.' She always said he wore his heart on his sleeve, and even now Thorin knew he could hide nothing from his sister.
"You are correct in your assumption; someone in the company is my One." She noted he said 'someone', as if there was something he was intentionally leaving out…
"This someone… I have wronged greatly, I was no less than cruel to him from the beginning of our journey, and I let my pride cloud my judgement even when we were on more amicable terms. Before the battle… I…" Dis began to truly worry as her brother started crying, seemingly unaware of the tears running down his face.
"Dis, I tried to kill him." Thorin whispered, and it was such a wretched sound, such a terrible heart-wrenching sound, that Dis found herself once again seated at her brother's bedside, this time their positions reversed.
"The gold sickness took me Dis, I-I couldn't breathe, couldn't think, everything was wrong I wasn't… I wasn't me anymore. And my One, Bilbo, he was only trying to help, he saw what was happening and did his best to stop us, to stop me from bringing ruin to us all, and I nearly threw him to his death over a stone Dis, a bloody shiny rock." He spit the last words with so much venom Dis nearly drew away in shock. Was he talking about the Arkenstone?
"And now he's gone, safe on his way home, Dis he has to be. I can't- he couldn't…" Thorin broke down into mournful, keening sobs then, and Dis finally understood her sons' concern. She hadn't seen her brother this broken in a long time, if ever. The closest she could remember was when they lost Frerin, father and grandfather in one fell swoop, but even then the pressures of leading a wandering people kept him from truly mourning until the distance had softened the impact.
"Oh, Thorin…"
Really, what could she say? That it would be all right? Any Dwarf worth their salt would be well within their rights to take her brother's braids, king or not, for what he admitted. And all things considered she wouldn't blame them.
The broken sobs coming from her brother who had buried himself in her hair made Dis very conflicted. She wanted to be angry on Thorin's behalf, angry at whoever brought him such misery when he should be so very proud. But she also understood very well the need to not suffer fools, and her brother was very much a fool in this. He wrought his own misery with his anger, no matter how misplaced or symptomatic, and he had lost himself the other half of his soul in consequence.
