Let Me In
Alfred always had planned for higher education even before he knew what he wanted to do with his life. However, it seemed an injustice to him that no one spoke of the awkward college years that crossed the line into adulthood. Sure there was talk about the awkward teenage years and the sometimes demanding balance between a social life and studies in high school, but to Alfred high school was only a step and college was the leap.
To Alfred college students were a sub-group separate from all categories, but placed next to adults because there is no other name for them. He sure as hell wasn't a teenager, but he felt even less like an adult when he thought of his parents and professors. He looked to Arthur as a model example of the transition from college student to adulthood. He wanted to know the formula, the perfect transition from a learner to actual contributor.
Alfred had planned to ask Arthur how he had gotten into the graduate program, and what choices he made. He liked the teaching field and even though Arthur's specialty was obviously the farthest away from physics he was still one of Alfred's favorite and closest TAs.
Unfortunately Arthur had been all business lately; he had cut their meetings in half with excuses of faculty meetings and grading papers. Even when they could meet Arthur was straight to the point with his dissatisfaction with Alfred's papers and left no room for any other type of discussion.
The American knew it had something to do with the TA party where he had witnessed and looked after a very sloshed Arthur. He had hoped they'd both laugh about it the next time they met and make a pact not to tell anyone least they both get severely punished. Arthur however, took a very different approach and Alfred felt the cold shoulder immediately, it felt the same as losing someone very close, a dear friend maybe.
Today, they were meeting outside of their usual place and for some reason Alfred looked forward to it. Maybe being in a different setting could create a different mood and put the party behind them. At the time Alfred wasn't even sure Arthur would remember that night, but he must have and he must have not liked their closeness, or at the least found it inappropriate. Alfred felt his heart clench at the thought, he wasn't in love with the guy, but even the smallest chance at being something more, even just friends seemed completely off the table for Arthur.
When Alfred arrived at the new location he was surprised to find it was an actual office building. Inside he followed the room number upstairs in a corner office. Arthur was sitting in a chair behind a metal desk reading papers as usual. He looked at Alfred and gestured to the seat in front of him.
The American whistled lowly as he looked around, "Finally got the office of your dreams, huh?"
Arthur scoffed, letting his old self slip, "Hardly. This is Professor Bonnefoy's office and he's allowing me the "privilege" of using it."
Alfred snorted and sat down, "Not sure if that's nice of him or if we should just go back to the library café right now." He said gesturing to the library with his thumb.
"Nonsense. I'll take peace and quiet for once. Anyway, you wanted some assistance with the mid-term paper?"
"Yeah I'm about done, but my conclusion is basically repeating my intro and I know you said not to introduce new stuff in a conclusion, but what can I add to make it different?"
Arthur sighed heavily, rubbing his index finger and thumb over his forehead, "I thought we went over this, Alfred. How many times do we have to go over that the conclusion reiterates the entire paper? How many times?"
Alfred sat in disbelief at the clearly irritated man in front him. He had never seen this Arthur ever. He had so much patience when it came to teaching, and sure Arthur was grumpy some days, but never had he seemed so frustrated and down right apathetic towards Alfred's need for help.
The American couldn't stay there any longer. He could understand that Arthur felt awkward about the other night, and he respected the man too much to bring it up. However today he felt that respect crumble.
He instantly stood up and grabbed his backpack. Arthur eyes shot up in surprise as if realizing what he said actually caused a reaction. "Alfred I-"
"No." Alfred cut in, he smiled dimly as he backed away heading towards the door, "I understand. I get it. Thanks for the help." He turned and motioned towards the door. He was hurt beyond belief, but still smiling since for whatever reason he couldn't get his lips to do much else.
"Stop!" Arthur shouted, his chair scraped across the floor and Alfred knew that other had stood up. "Please." He tried again quietly. The college student balled his fists together, not knowing whether it is better to leave or not. He stayed of course, not wanting to make more of a scene and turned around.
He wasn't expecting the worn down expression on his TA's face. The Brit had his hands were on both sides of the desk holding up his hunched postion. His eyes looked defeated as if he was having a war with himself, before glancing up at Alfred. "I'm sorry. That was completely unprofessional of me."
Alfred dropped his backpack to the floor carelessly. The sad expression on Arthur's face put him at ease; the man was finally showing emotion after what felt like weeks of talking to a robot. "Maybe you need to be unprofessional more."
Arthur's head snapped up at that, "Excuse me?"
"I mean. You were a dick right now, but maybe showing you're true colors wouldn't be such a bad thing? Maybe you'd be less frustrated?"
The Brit stifled a surprised snort, "So you're saying my true colors is being a dick?"
Alfred shrugged, "Everyone is sometimes. I was just surprised you showed it to me."
Arthur sighed quietly as if carefully picking his words, "It wasn't my intention. I have mid-term papers of my own that have become very stressful. I took it out on you for some reason."
Since they were suddenly being so blatant towards one another Alfred decided this was his chance to bring up the delicate topic. "Yeah I figured you were mad about the other night actually. I'm sorry for whatever I did."
Arthur's face stiffened at. It seemed he definitely wasn't expecting the other night to be brought up again and as Alfred studied his face closely he could see the other's ears reddening in embarrassment. Damn that's cute…
"I…I apologize for that night and what's come after. I was embarrassed, still am. I didn't know how to treat the situation the next day in class and I just-" He swallowed meeting the other's unwavering gaze, "I'm sorry Alfred."
He genuinely looked sorry for what he put his student through so Alfred gave him his signature grin and took his seat back in front of him. "You don't need to be sorry. I kind of wouldn't mind if we didn't act like it never happened."
In that moment the boundaries between student and teacher seemed to drop at those words and both blushed at their implications.
"R-right well, I'm not sure if it's an appropriate topic for us to talk about. Let's just say it happened and move on, shall we?" Arthur asked, clearly his throat and putting back his professional air.
Alfred forced himself not to show any disappointment on his face, but really it seemed like they've come so far. How could they move on after what just happened only moments ago? There was real alive emotion between the both of them. They couldn't, they wouldn't go back to what they were before the party.
Arthur had to let him in. He had no choice.
One million apologies.
Thank you so much reviewers SakuraMoriChan, haruhasu, Sxvgwii, Empress Vegah, GlassofH2O, alguien22792, MIKAthecatlady, xBurgersandScones, and luciume. And thank you to followers, favs, and readers!
