Doctor,

Working for Torchwood is, in a word, strange. Yeah, Mickey and I made it onto the team in Cardiff. We've all got roles of a sort. I'm sort of the expert on aliens; whenever they've got a question about a new race, they look to me, which is a little weird. Feels almost like they expect me to be like you – know everything about alien species and all – and I'm not. Still, they haven't gotten rid of me yet, so I must be good for something. Owen's a doctor, so whenever somebody gets hurt, that's his responsibility. He does autopsies too, and he's not bad in the field. Ianto… I don't think anybody really appreciates him much. He orders pizza, brings us coffee, and gets us everywhere on time. Sometimes I think he's hiding something, something sad that he doesn't want us to find out about. Something sad to do with the person he loves. I recognize that look he gets on his face sometimes, Doctor. I see it staring back at me in the mirror every night.

Tosh does everything technical and scientific, but lately Mickey's been helping her on the technical front. He's still sort of the tin dog – you remember that? Aliens in the school, K-9 and Sarah-Jane, and you were a crazy physics teacher? Anyways, Tosh can do field work, too, but mostly she stays in the base and backs us up. Us is me, Owen, Mickey, and Suzie, if you didn't get that. Suzie's still in charge, and I'm still not sure I trust her. See, there's this glove device that I've never seen them use. They just keep it on this shelf, and sometimes I catch Suzie staring at it. Just staring. I don't know. If you were here, you'd probably tell me to trust me instincts, go with my gut. But I don't know, because you're not here.

You really should be here.

There were Slitheen in Downing Street yesterday. It was pretty bizarre, like some tripped-out case of déjà vu. Met an alternate Harriet Jones and got stuck hiding from the Slitheen with her, only instead of you, Owen was there with us, and let me tell you, he was a lot less pleasant and a lot less clever. In fact, he wasn't much help at all. He's a good agent, but when things get really bad and he can't see anything helpful to do, most of what he does is complain, which doesn't help at all. Really, I think we only got out of there for two reasons – because I had some idea of what the Slitheen would do, and because Suzie and Mickey came in to help us. And then Tosh bombed the place, just like Mickey did last time, because he and I told her what to do.

It really was the weirdest thing. I kept turning around and expecting to see you, the old you, with your leather jacket and your big nose and those ears. I kept waiting for you to rush out and declare in that Northern accent of yours that there were aliens in Downing Street. But of course you didn't. Because there is no Doctor in this universe.

It's funny. Of all the parallel worlds to get trapped it, I had to choose the one without a Doctor. It's either tragic, ironic, or poetic. I'm not sure which. Maybe all three.

There's another race that we deal with a lot. I don't know if you've heard of them – we call them Weevils because we're not sure what their real name is. They don't exactly talk, and not even Tosh can translate the sort of growl-like noises that they make. They've got these big block-like heads with these deformed, beast-like faces, and they normally wear suits. Kind of like you, Doctor. Aliens in suits. Only they're much more evil and much less clever. And much worse-looking.

Here's one that I do know the name of – have you ever heard of the Silurians? Tosh calls them 'Homo Reptilius'. She says it's because that's their scientific name; Owen says it's because she thinks it makes her sound clever. She is clever, though. Extremely clever. Not as clever as you, of course, but you know what I mean. Clever for a human. Anyways, they're these sort of green lizard-men who live underground, and guess what? They're not from another planet! They live here, in caves under the earth, whole cities of them, just living down there without anyone noticing! It's incredible, really, and it's beautiful. The Silurians themselves are pretty brilliant, too – in general, they're peaceful people. They're sort of like humans, only… Zen. Most of them, anyway. Occasionally, one of them gets a bit out of hand and decides that the Silurians should have this planet all to themselves, and that's when we step in. Still, they're probably my favorite alien race that we deal with.

Alright, I think I've avoided the real topic at hand for long enough, don't you?

I can only talk about work for so long. Eventually, I have to get to what's really important.

Us.

What I said to you on that beach in Norway – I meant it, Doctor. Every word. I didn't just say it because I knew it would be the last time I ever saw you and I needed to say something. I really and truly meant it.

I love you.

I don't know how you were going to end that sentence before you faded away, but I have to hope that you were going to say you loved me, too.

The misery of watching you disappear on that beach… it was just as bad as losing you the first time around, maybe worse. I didn't want to leave that spot. I thought maybe, by some twist of fate, you'd be able to come back to me. So I just stood there and cried until Mum came and took me back to the car. You'd thank her for that if you were here, because if she hadn't, I'd probably still be waiting.

Mum thinks I should move on – find a nice bloke, get a job that doesn't involve aliens. She hasn't said so, not since Bad Wolf Bay, but I can tell she's thinking it. But I don't think I ever will. You're a tough act to follow, Doctor. Sarah Jane said so, and she was right. But she had to get on with her life, just like I have to get on with my life. Though I suspect I won't do as well as her. I'm stuck in this world of the extraterrestrial and I don't think I'll ever get out. I know I'll never find someone that I can love the way I loved you. The way I still do love you. I'll never move on, Doctor. In my heart, I'll always be standing on that beach, clinging to the nonexistent hope that you'd be back for me. In spirit, if not in flesh, I'll always be there, waiting.

I had the best luck in the world for a while there, didn't I? I met the most fantastic man in the universe, and for some reason I can't even begin to fathom, he thought I was the most fantastic woman in the universe. That doesn't happen to many people, does it? Well, maybe it does. It's a big universe. Whole bunch of people on the lookout for the love of their life. Eventually, someone's going to stumble on the perfect person.

I'm just so glad that that someone was me.

And that that person was you.

That's not to say you're perfect. I know you're not. And I love you for it. I love you for all of your faults, your flaws, your shortcomings. Perhaps I even love you more because of them. They make you… I don't know. More human. More Time Lord? I don't know. How would your race word that?

It makes you more alive.

Nine hundred and… how many is it now? Three? Five? Seven? I can't keep track – time travel really does muddle things up in your head. All the same, that's an awfully long time to live, Doctor. Don't you ever get tired of it? Don't you ever wonder if maybe there's something better waiting for you once you stop all this regenerating? Don't you ever think that maybe nine hundred years is enough?

Stop thinking that, if you are. Stop it right now. Forever isn't nearly long enough for you, my Doctor. You've got to save the human race a whole load more times before we're going to just let you go. You've got responsibilities, mister. You've got people relying on you. And when we manage find a way back to get me back to you, I want you to be alive and waiting when I get there.

Yeah, I said that. Don't even try to stop me, Doctor. They don't know it yet, but Torchwood's going to help me to create new versions of those reality-hopping devices. Versions that won't just transport us through holes in the fabric of reality – they'll punch the holes themselves. Collapsing universes be damned, I will not be separated from you. And I think I've just realized that now as I write this letter to you. I'm Rose Tyler, aren't I? I'm the girl who, when you saved her life and sent her back to her family, absorbed the entirety of the time vortex and became a god just to get back to you. I'm the girl who was willing to leave her family, her entire life, behind just to stay with you. I think that, until now, I forgot that. I forgot who I was.

But I remember now.

I'm Rose Tyler. I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself.

And if anyone thinks I'm just going to forget about you, they're sadly mistaken.

Because I'm Rose Tyler. And I don't give up, do I? Not ever. I fight. And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to fight to get back to you, just like I've always fought to get back to you. Just like I'll always fight to get back to you.

Because I made my choice a long time ago. And I am never going to leave you.

Because I love you.

Goodbye for now, my Doctor, my love. It won't be long until I see you again.

I love you.

All of my love,

Rose

-0-0-0-

The next day, she makes sure she's the last to leave the base. And then, once everyone's left, she goes back into the archives and starts sorting around through various alien artifacts and pieces of advanced technology. Some of them have labels stating their origin and purpose; many that don't have post-it notes stuck to them with comments scribbled in Tosh's elegant cursive handwriting. And there are so many items that a part of her thinks she'll never be able to find the one she's looking for. But after almost two hours of searching, just as she's about to give up and head home, a word catches her attention.

DIMENSION.

You know when you see a word but you've got no idea where you saw it, and you have to go through the entirety of your surroundings until you find the word again? That's how she feels now, but she's determined again. She's motivated. And it only takes her around fifteen minutes to locate the label she saw, and it's just what she's looking for.

DIMENSION HOPPING DEVICE.

She pulls out the box and reaches inside; her fingers close around a familiar shape, and she withdraws her hand to be confronted with a familiar, unfriendly sight. The dimension hopping device. That damned yellow disc. She hates it, hates it, hates it, but right now, she could kiss it. Because it's just what she needs.

She loops the chain around her neck and presses down on the yellow button, but nothing happens. She wasn't expecting anything to happen. But she had to be sure.

She knows she can't hope to understand the technology, so she just slips the device into her purse and buries it deep underneath the rest of her stuff. She'll figure something out soon – maybe she'll convince Mickey to help her, or better yet, Tosh – but for now, she's just going to head home. She's late enough as it is.

But when she heads up to the office, someone's waiting there for her.

"Thought I might find you here," Mickey says.

"Hello to you, too," she replies. "Something wrong?"

"You didn't come home," he tells her. "Your mum got worried and called me. Said you weren't answering your phone."

"Yeah, uh – I – it's dead," she invents wildly.

"Yeah," he agrees sarcastically. "Rose, what're you doing here?"

"Following up on some stuff," she replies vaguely. "I'm behind on my mission reports, Suzie's been bugging me –"

"You're not behind on your mission reports," he says. "You're always caught up. You never did your homework back in school, but you always write your mission reports."

"I –"

"Rose." He holds out his hand. "Give it here."

Sighing, she opens her bag, plunges her hand inside, and withdraws the dimension hopping device, dropping it into his hand. "What now?" she asks. "Are you going to report me to Suzie? She won't let me go, she needs me –"

"Rose," he sighs, feeling the familiar shape and weight of the device, turning it over in his hands. "You can't do this –"

"The hell I can't, Mickey. Screw the fabric of reality – I'm going to get back home, to him, and if the walls between universes can't stop me, neither can you –"

"– alone," he finishes.

"What?" She's puzzled.

He shakes his head, sighing. "That's your problem, Rose. Since we got here, it's like you think it's you against the world. You've got to do everything for yourself, and nobody can do anything to help you. You're on your own. But you're not. Rose, you're surrounded by people who care about you, people who can get you where you need to be. Please. Let someone help you for a change."

Her eyes are wide as she watches him; this was not where she'd expected this conversation to go. "Help," she echoes.

"Yes."

"You – you want to help me get back to him?"

"Yes."

"Even though I – he –"

"Well, it's like you said last time, isn't it?" he says. "There's nothing left for you here."

"That wasn't true," she murmurs. "It's just that there's so much more for me there."

"I know," he agrees. "We all know. Me, Tosh, Suzie, Ianto, hell, even Owen. We're going to help you. You got that?"

She nods weakly, and when he opens his arms to her, she folds herself weakly inside of them. Accepting, for the first time since she was torn away from him, the help and love of someone else.

-0-0-0-

I'm in a giving mood and I have a lot of chapters written. So, voila! A new chapter, way ahead of time! Enjoy!

Reviews are like travelling with the Doctor. Okay, maybe not quite that good, but still. It doesn't take long to type one up and they make writers want to write! The more reviews you all leave, the faster the chapters come. It's basic arithmetic. Do the calculations.

-Caskett54