A/N: Hey, hey everyone, another chapter for all of you who are reading this. By the way I've decided how I want to end this story and I know where I am going with it but I'm not sure how many chapters it's going to be, but probably not too many. SO anyway this chapter is NOT in Bella's pov. This chapter is from Edward's point of view. :-p

Chapter 6 - Waking

Edward POV

In my final days with Bella before everything changed, I was so sure of my all consuming love for her and I was sure that I could never want anything more than I wanted Bella. I loved her with all of my heart and I was positive that would never change. We were happy. But one day something began to change, I'm not exactly sure why or how, but it did. I remembered the day with perfect clarity.

Flashback!

"I love you Bella."

"I love you too Edward."

We were laying down in our meadow, just enjoying each others company. Suddenly she turned and smiled at me, I smiled back, slightly confused when she suddenly pressed her lips to mine.

Usually I had to fight from loosing myself in her kiss. But this time something was different, I felt myself longing for a different pair of lips. Cold-hard lips.

I pulled away from Bella immediately, shocked at the image that had passed through my mind. I had never wanted Tanya before, what the hell was that about?

Only a second before, Bella had occupied my whole heart, but suddenly there was another in my heart and I couldn't understand why. Finally I became aware of Bella calling my name, I had no idea how long I had been unresponsive.

"Edward? Edward?"

"Yes Love?"

"I'm sorry Edward I didn't mean to test your control so much." She said hanging her head, and suddenly I was upset that I had hurt Bella. And I didn't want to hurt her more by telling her the real reason I had pulled away.

"No, Bella. Don't apologize, I love you and I'm sorry you have to be so restrained, even if it is for your own safety. I wish I wasn't such a monster."

Suddenly her eyes filled with fire and I could almost feel her anger. "You. Are. Not. A. Monster!" She all but screeched at me.

It took many apologies and a lot of work to calm her down after that, but I could no longer doubt that I was a monster. I had everything I could ever want, and here I was thinking of another woman.

End Flashback

The feeling had continued to build for me throughout the weeks and gradually my pull to Tanya became stronger than my pull to Bella. The bond was different, I could feel it. But I was powerless to fight it. I finally told my family, and they said, recently they had been feeling the same way about wanting to leave Forks and stay with the Denali's. We had made a decision and we were all ready to go. I felt slightly bad about leaving Bella, but I felt that I would be gaining something more in return. When I told Bella that I was leaving her, I felt like my heart was breaking in two and I was so angry at myself for being so selfish and breaking Bella like I was. I truly felt like a monster. And I felt even worse when my anger at myself and the pain I was feeling turned into a cold need to hurt her too. I was intentionally cruel to her and I felt guilty and I was disgusted with the driveling weeping mess she had become.

I was so confused about my feelings. I loved her, I could still feel it, but for some reason I also hated her. I wanted her to suffer and I was reveling in her pain. What the hell was wrong with me? I knew something was wrong, but I was once again powerless to stop it and I wasn't sure I wanted to. So I just gave in. I told Bella everything in the coldest voice I could muster and simultaneously rejoiced and broke when I told her Tanya's name and watched her fall completely to pieces. I left, I needed to get away from her and the confused feelings I harbored. As part of my heart wanted nothing more than to apologize and to make it better while another part of me enjoyed her pain and couldn't wait to get to Tanya. So I ran. I made it to Denali in no time. My family was already there and I wasted no time in telling Tanya how I felt.

To say she was overjoyed was an understatement. She had been trying for years to make me fall for her and it never worked. Now here I was offering myself to her. But as much as I loved Tanya now, a part of my mangled heart still called for Bella. But I pushed it away and ignored it, focusing the rest of me on Tanya.

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It was like waking from a nightmare. What the hell had I done? I'd been with Tanya for more than a year and we had been hunting when everything changed. Suddenly I no longer wanted Tanya, I wanted Bella again. I knew I still loved her even when I was with Tanya, but the pull to be with Tanya was stronger, now suddenly I had no pull to Tanya. Only to Bella. Tanya had been a bit distant with me lately and I knew she was getting tired of me. Even though she tried so hard to get me in the first place, Tanya wasn't the type for long term relationships. But I had continued to follow her around like a lost puppy. I had even found her with someone else, but for some reason it didn't change the way I felt about her. I thought nothing could but then it happened.

Tanya and I were out hunting when something snapped. I no longer loved Tanya. It was gone, everything I felt for her had just disappeared. I had been following her while she was hunting and I knew she was annoyed with me. But when I stopped she turned to look at me.

"What's wrong Edward?" She asked, although I knew she didn't particularly care, she was hoping it was something that would make me leave her alone.

I couldn't bring myself to answer her so she took off again, leaving me alone. I was still trying to sort out the loss of the feeling I had for her. Bella now occupied my whole heart again. And as I acknowledged this, I fell to my knees in agony upon realizing the pain I had inflicted upon her. Suddenly the whole family was there, all with matching looks of confusion and loss.

All I could see was Bella in their thoughts. We had no idea what was going on, but suddenly we all cared about Bella again. The Denali's were no more than distant cousins. No one knew what was going on and I decided right there that I needed to get to Bella.

I didn't even tell my family anything, I just ran. I could hear them running behind me, they were all thinking about Bella.

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I got back to Forks in less than a day and I immediately ran to Bella's house, only to find it empty. I could smell that no one had been there for months. There was a 'For Sale' sign in front of the house, but the number wasn't one I recognized. The contact address was one that was from the reservation.

"Damn the treaty." I whispered under my breath as I ran onto the reservation. I had a vague idea where the address was, but I stopped short when I smelled wet dog. It was the smell of the shifters who lived here long ago. But I was sure the line had ended with Ephraim Black. But the smell was unmistakable, there was a werewolf here.

I was about to move when I felt his mind. He was hurting, his brain could barely comprehend the pain he felt. And I was shocked when I caught glimpses of Bella and Bella as a vampire and of his brothers. I dropped to my knees in shock, just as the rest of the family finally caught up with me.

No! No it's just not possible. Bella couldn't be a vampire. She just couldn't be, she had to be with Charlie or Renee and Phil. There was no way she was a vampire. I was still trying to convince myself when the wolf came through the trees.

He stopped abruptly and he looked shocked. I could feel his anger in his thoughts, his control slipping and how much he wanted to hurt us, me especially. I could feel the decision in his head to attack when suddenly Jasper intervened and I felt him calm down. He still looked murderous but now he was in control.

He backed into the trees behind him quickly and phased. We could hear him pulling on some shorts before he stepped back into our line of vision.

I was shocked to see Jacob Black standing before me.

"What the fuck are you bloodsuckers doing here?! And on our land. Haven't you caused enough damage here?" He screeched at us, his voice betraying his pain and his hate. I could see vampire Bella in his head cackling evilly and I was stunned.

"What damage, we've been gone for the past year." Carlisle asked calmly. Jacob briefly turned to glare at Carlisle before he tuned back to me.

"You, all of you. You destroyed her." He said as he pointed at all of us. I could still see pictures in his mind of vampire Bella. I refused to believe them. They were terrifying and Bella looked crazed and broken. I did not want to acknowledge that I knew who he was talking about. Alice was the first to speak after his burst of anger.

"Who are you talking about?" she asked tentatively although I could see in her mind that she was sure he was talking about Bella. She just needed confirmation.

"Who the fuck do you think I am talking about!?" He bellowed angrily. "Bella! You fucking leeches destroyed her! You killed her and have nerve to even show your faces here again!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I finally asked.

He turned his murderous glare on me full force. "You fucking broke her when you left. We all saw how broken she was and there was nothing anyone could do. She was a shell of a person and we couldn't imagine it getting worse. How could you hurt the dead, right? Then Charlie died."

Everyone gasped and just stared at Jacob in bewilderment. Esme looked like she was seconds away from breaking down and Jacob laughed scornfully.

"Don't act like you all care. You wouldn't have left her like that if you did. And besides I'm only just getting started, that's not the end of the story."

"What?" I asked. I was desperately hoping that was it. And that she had moved in with her mother. I knew in my heart that wasn't what happened, but I didn't want to believe the images I saw in Jacob's mind.

"After Charlie died, Renee rejected Bella and told her to stay away from her and Phil. Then I phased and I wasn't allowed to see her. She was left alone. And when I finally snuck away to talk to her, she was so upset she started yelling and tried to get me riled up, I almost phased in front of her. So I ran. Three days later, the pack," he winced as he said that, "smelled vampire at the border so we ran to it and found Bella. She had been changed and she was angry with me." I could see all of it in his mind, and I was sobbing as the images of Bella flashed across my mind. Her broken expression searing itself into my mind.

I was about to deny it out loud when Jacob continued, still looking at me disdainfully.

"She attacked us, then she took the pack with her and left me here alone. She drinks from humans." He added the last almost as if it were an after thought. By this time everyone was dry sobbing.

We left Bella to this. We had left her alone when she needed us most. We really were monsters. I needed to find her. I needed to fix her. As soon as I came to that realization I stopped sobbing and stood up.

"Where is she?" I asked Jacob.

"I don't know, she didn't tell me where she was going. Why would she? She hates me know. But why are you going looking for her, she doesn't need to be broken anymore than she is." He told me angrily. I could feel his desire to kill me, but I knew he wouldn't try. He knew it was futile. He was outnumbered and he didn't want to leave his people without protection. Even though I knew from his thoughts that they hated him too. And I could see that somehow Bella had done that, she had made sure that he was alone too.

"I need to find her. I need to try and fix her. But I need to know where she is." I tried to tell him calmly. But my panic and worry for Bella was taking over.

"I doubt you can. She is truly broken beyond repair. Never could I imagine Bella so intent on hurting someone else. And although I know she needs help even if I did know where she was I wouldn't tell you." He sneered at me and I watched as his mind showed me every detail of Bella while she took her revenge.

Suddenly I knew where she was. "Jacksonville." I gasped. If everything Jacob had said was true then Bella most likely would've gone to Jacksonville to take revenge on her mother.

He looked at me in surprise before he acknowledged that I was probably right and immediately started worrying about what Bella would've done to Renee. It had been a few weeks since she left Forks and we needed to leave now and hope that we would find Bella in Jacksonville.

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A few days later we were in Jacksonville. We had left Jacob in La Push to try and protect his land as much as he could and try to rebuild his life from the mess Bella had created. If she wanted to hurt him as much as it seemed she did, then she definitely succeeded. She had broken him too. But he still had his dad so he was making it through. He just hoped that one day he could apologize to Bella and see the pack again. We promised to try and help her and try and bring the pack back but I knew he believed we didn't have a chance.

Once in Jacksonville we found the house Phil and Renee shared but were once again shocked to find that no one was home. It was late due to the fact that we couldn't be out during the day, so we couldn't ask where they were.

We checked into a hotel and the next day I looked up the number to the school where Renee had worked. But when I asked for her, they informed me that she was no longer working for them and hadn't been for a few weeks, apparently she was in the hospital.

I was shocked, I couldn't believe Bella would actually hurt her mother. And the hospital would give me no information, so we waited until night fall and then made our way to the hospital. We found out that Renee was in the small mental ward they had at the hospital, she was on suicide watch. She had been there for a few days after she had slit her wrists. Carlisle used his pull as a doctor and convinced the nurses quite easily to let us see Renee. When we entered the room she was curled up in a corner of the room sobbing.

"Bella, Bella……… How could you? ……….. How could I?……….. I don't know…….what came over me………….sorry………..so sorry……Phil……" She was choking out words and apologies between her sobs. They were so quiet that I wouldn't have heard them if I wasn't a vampire. Renee didn't even look at us as we entered her room. She remained on the floor sobbing.

"Renee?" I asked tentatively.

Her head snapped up. And she stopped shocked.

"You?" she snapped. She stood up and ran at me. "What the hell are you doing here?" She remembered me from pictures Bella had sent. And she blamed me for everything that had happened. And I knew she should, it was all my fault.

Carlisle stopped her before she reached me and restrained her. She was yelling at me hysterically, then she just stopped and glared.

"Wasn't breaking my daughter enough? Why are you here?" She said with venom in her voice.

"I didn't mean to….I just ……..I dunno………I didn't have a choice………I need to find her, I need to fix this." I told her uncertainly.

She sighed. "What makes you think you can? She isn't herself anymore, and I can't blame you entirely. I hurt her too, and I don't know why. I love her, why did I tell her I didn't want her?" She sobbed again.

I was taken aback by her admission. She like us had unwillingly hurt Bella. I could see the replay in her thoughts. When she told Bella she didn't want her. I could feel the same mix of hate and love I had felt when I left Bella and I didn't know what to make of it.

"I need to find her Renee, I need to fix this." She sobbed harder.

"I don't think you can. She may be too far gone for anyone to reach." I could see Bella in her thoughts as she did her best to shatter Renee's heart. And I looked through Renee's thoughts and realized this had happened weeks ago. I also felt anger at what Renee had said to Bella during their confrontation and I couldn't understand why she felt so different now.

"Why do you want her now Renee?" She sobbed harder. And I watched the replay in her mind again. As suddenly a few days ago, on the same day I stopped loving Tanya, she realized what she had done to Bella. She couldn't take all the fresh pain and she tried to kill herself but the neighbors had found her and now she was here.

I wondered what could've changed all of our feelings about Bella, but I could think of no explanation.

"Where is she Renee?"

"I don't know," She sobbed, "She left with Phil." She began to cry in earnest. She collapsed in Carlisle's restraining arms and I was sure that she couldn't help us any more than that. Carlisle placed her softly on the hospital bed and we made our exit. We quickly told the family about everything that had happened to Renee and then went looking for Phil.

He was just as angry to see us, but we convinced him to tell us where Bella was. It took us weeks to get through to him, more than a month. And when we finally got through he only gave us one word. But that one word shook me to my core. Never could I have thought that one word would scare me so much.

"Volterra."

A/N: Okay so there you go. Another chapter, and this one was extra long. Okay so I have to say not even I knew this chapter was coming. When I started this story I was sure Edward was leaving Bella because he loved Tanya now and he would forever. Never did I think that would change. But it did, and something strange seems to be going on. If any of you figure it out and put it in a review I'll send you a sneak peak. Anyway I really didn't plan for the story to go this way, but somehow it has managed to do just that. So I hope you enjoyed. Leave me some reviews please. BYE!