Pony: Here be chapter seven!

Disclaimer Dude: Pony doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

Chapter Seven: Free Willy!

Yugi and his friends had been lead to a campsite with fish cooking over a campfire, which they devoured within seconds. They ate the fish too.

"FIENDS!" snarled a teenager named Mako as he emerged from the edge of the cliff. He was carrying a long, sharp stick and wearing water wings, "How dare you!"

The gang recoiled in fear.

"Sorry, but we were hungry and we thought that the owner of this campsite fell off the cliff and was eaten by feminine sharks wearing pink tutus who worship a poem titled 'Ode to the Ball of Lint I Found in my Belly Button While Visiting the Great Grasshopper of New Jersey'!"

"You ate my fish?" Mako blinked in surprise.

It was the group's turn to blink.

"Then… what did we do?" Yugi asked, quite confused.

"You meanie-heads killed my father!"

"DID NOT!" Tristan bellowed.

"You don't have to yell at me!" Mako sobbed, "Now your short friend has to duel me!"

"I'm not short!" Yugi shouted with a stomp of his little foot, attempting to put emphasis on his resenting statement.

"Awwww! Aren't you adorable!" Mako cooed and he pinched Yugi's cheek.

Tea hissed at Mako and seized Yugi protectively, "Friendship!"

"You still have to duel me."

"All right, I'll duel you, Mako," said Yugi, who magically knew the crazy teenager's name.

"How do you know my name?! Who are you?!" Mako screamed in panic.

"I'm Yugi Motto," Yugi replied casually.

"Yugi? You ruined my life!" Mako pulled a couple of dice out of his soaking pants.

"Wrong person," came the monotonous reply from the gang.

"Impersonating minor characters is my hobby! So is scrap booking and knitting sweaters that look like a shoe being swallowed by a seeing-eye dog. Got a problem with that?"

"Impersonating other people is against the law on Jupiter's third moon!" Tristan blurted. Mako, then, shoved his two dice up Tristan's nostrils and slapped him with a rag doll he found in the dimension hole next to him.

Then, Yugi switched with Yami and his fangirls that had escaped the anti-fangirl traps pounced. Pegasus' minions were right behind them and they launched their weapons. When their targets were hit with Nerf footballs, they collapsed to the ground and began having seizures.

"Duel!" Yami and Mako cried in unison.

"I summon the Hobo Pixie in attack mode!" a smelly hobo with fairy wings appeared onto the field.

HP: ATK/1500, DEF/1000

"Can you spare some change?" Hobo Pixie asked Mako with pleading, hungry eyes.

"I haven't got a penny, you holographic bum! That is why I must win the tournament, so I can win the prize money and save my father!" Mako's eyes welled up with tears, "He and his boat are inside the belly of a sperm whale and I must buy a boat, find the whale, get eaten by it, find my father, and get out of the whale!"

"You're a crazy person!" Yami declared.

"It's the only way to get my father out of that whale! I need to go into the whale myself!" Mako declared back.

"Not that! If your father wad been swallowed by a whale, he would've been digested by now, you idiot!"

"And it would be impossible for a whale to swallow a human. It's throat isn't big enough," said Yugi through the mind link.

"Yes, that too."

"I am going to completely ignore your scientific logic and summon Super Kool Koi in attack mode!" a huge and beautiful orange koi with black stripes appeared.

"Glub, glub!" Super Kool Koi kried (Heehee!).

SKK: ATK/2400, DEF/2000

"Super Kool Koi, attack Hobo Pixie with Belly Flop!"

"Gluuuub!" Super Kool Koi gargled as he hurled himself at Yami's monster and crushed it.

Y: 1100

"Nooo! Bad fishy!" Yami scolded Mako's big fish.

"Good boy, Super Kool Koi!" Mako praised his big fish.

"I set three cards face-down and I summon Curse of Dragon in defense mode!"

"Super Kool Koi, attack!"

"Reveal face-down card! Flush Funeral!" a giant toilet rose from the holographic enlarged version of the trap card.

"NOOOOOO!!" Mako fell to his knees as his fish was lured to the giant toilet with a chunk of polka-dotted meat on a stick and flushed.

"I switch Curse of Dragon to attack mode!" Yami shouted triumphantly, "Curse of Dragon, attack!"

Curse of Dragon fired a stream of flames at Mako, but the attack was somehow diminished into wisps of steam.

"What the?!" Yami gasped in awe and confusion, "How?!"

"Super Kool Koi's special ability. When it is destroyed, it leaves behind a slimy mucus coat that makes fire attacks useless!"

"That is very useful… and GROSS!" Yami yelled, "And your father is dead."

"No, he's not! He's alive and he's waiting for me in the belly of a whale!" Mako argued, "What about that story 'Pinocchio'? The wooden puppet's father was waiting for him in a giant whale's belly!"

"That was scientifically inaccurate, you gullible moron!"

"Well… I… Uh… Shut up!"

"No, you shut up!" Yami countered.

"No, you shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

"Blarg of hedgies foraging cabbits!" Joey bellowed.

"Friendship!"

"Yeah, both of you shut up and continue the duel!" Tristan added.

"Fine! My turn!" Mako drew a card and he grinned maniacally, "I set two cards face-down and I summon Giant Squid in defense mode!"

GS: ATK/1400, DEF/1600

"Curse of Dragon, attack!" Yet again, the dragon's fiery attack was extinguished by the slimy film.

"Did you forget about the slimy mucus surrounding my area?"

"Yes, I did, but I won't next time."

"I summon Moby Dick in attack mode!"

MD: ATK/25000, DEF/2000

"Reveal face-down card: Captain Ahab!" Yami announced as the fictional whaler appeared and drove a harpoon into Moby Dick. When the beautiful white creature was destroyed, Captain Ahab exploded.

"NOOOO!" cried Mako, "I reveal my own face-down card: Save the Whales!"

A mob that consisted a group of hippies, whale biologists, and whale watchers wielding picket signs congregated onto the field.

"I get to special summon another whale in place of my Moby Dick."

A baby orca conjured onto the field. It's large, sky blue eyes sparkled and he smiled cutely.

"Meet Baby Shamu!"

BS: ATK/1800, ATK/1500

"Actually, dude, an orca is the world's largest dolphin, not a whale," a random girl who just randomly appeared randomly stated randomly.

"Then how come it is also known as the 'killer whale'?" Yami asked the random girl.

"Because they're big. And they're known as the ocean's top predator!" she randomly replied dramatically and randomly.

"Finally… Someone else who shares my love with the sea and the creatures who inhabit it!" Mako's eyes materialized into hearts. The random girl randomly skipped away randomly while randomly singing randomly.

"No, come back, my love!" Mako fell to his knees and hung his head.

"Make your move, Mako!" Yami ordered irritably.

"Yes, mommy," the fish freak replied sarcastically with a sassy roll of his eyes.

Joey, Tea, and Tristan exchanged perplexed looks and continued to watch the duel.

"I use my field card: Flash Flood! It covers the arena with water and hides my ocean creatures!"

"Oh, bunkerdoodles," Yami drew a card, "I play Noah's Ark! My monster is now safe from drowning!"

A miniature version of an ark appeared and Yami's previously flailing dragon perched onto it.

"I counter your floatation device with this! Attack of the Pirates!"

A miniature pirate ship sailed to Yami's side of the water-covered field and it began firing cannons. The ark eventually began to sink and music from the movie 'Titanic' played in the background. To make things even more interesting or just plain weird, two tiny people that resembled Jack and Rose were floating on a piece of floating debris. Curse of Dragon, who was also perched onto drifting remains that were slowly sinking, gazed down at the two lovers and gobbled them up. The dragon's sorry excuse for a raft finally sank and he drowned because he obviously forgot that he could fly.

"Ha! You are wide open for a direct assault, but I won't attack because I'm an idiot!" exclaimed Mako and he laughed evilly.