Chapter 7
Nathan debated going after her for a moment, but he opted against it, deciding it was no use. He decided to go downstairs and see how the others were doing. Wendy passed him on the stairs.
"I heard shouting," she said quietly.
Nathan smiled sheepishly. "As you might guess, Kristin's emotions are all over the place again."
"Do you want me to talk to her?" Wendy offered.
Nathan shook his head. "Not right now. I think she needs time alone, wherever that might be. I think she'll calm down on her own, hopefully. Where's everyone else?"
"Robert and Kendall took Harry and Kristy out swimming, to take their minds off everything," Wendy explained.
"At least they didn't hear the argument," Nathan thought out loud.
"Do you want to talk?"
"Would you like to help me make dinner?" Nathan asked.
Wendy nodded, and the two walked to the kitchen. "I know it probably slipped everyone's mind, so I called Liz and told her the situation. She's going to make arrangements to come over in the afternoon for a session with Kristin. She said she'll call."
Nathan nodded. "We had forgotten," he admitted. "Thanks. Maybe she'll get through to her."
"She'll certainly try," Wendy said.
Nathan handed Wendy some tomatoes. "I thought we'd have spaghetti tonight. Can you dice those for me?"
"Sure thing," she said, taking out a cutting board and a knife while Nathan chopped basil and parsley. "You really can't blame her, you know," she said after a few minutes
"What?" Nathan asked, lost in thought.
"I said you really can't blame her, Kristin, that is."
Nathan was taken aback. "Do you realize how incredibly selfish she's acting?"
"She's just found out that her son has cancer, after experiencing horrible emotional turmoil herself. I don't think her reaction is unfounded."
"But she's taking a step backward," Nathan countered. "She was doing so well."
"Maybe, or maybe she was putting on a brave front. She was far from cured. You knew that, right?"
"That's what she said, but she was so much like her old self…" Nathan said thoughtfully. "It was like nothing bad had ever happened for a moment."
"You need to remember she needs time. Everyone has to deal with the situation in their own way. You can't expect he to be brave for Harry, which I know is what you're doing," she pointed out.
"Is that obvious?"
Wendy smiled. "You seem to forget I'm an empath…I feel it."
Nathan nodded. "I'm just as broken-hearted as she is, you know," he said sadly.
"I know you are," Wendy said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
The two worked in silence for the remainder of the dinner preparation. Soon, they heard the children laughing as they walked in from the beach.
"Why don't you all get cleaned up for dinner?" Nathan asked.
"Where's Mommy?" Kristy asked Nathan as Robert, Kendall, Lucas, and Michael headed upstairs to change into some dry clothes.
Nathan hesitated. He couldn't possibly tell her he didn't know. "She's lying down," Nathan replied. "She's not feeling very well. You'd better go take that wet swimsuit off, OK?"
"OK, Kristy replied. "What about Harry?"
"I'll see how he feels. He might want to eat in bed. Just go," Nathan urged gently.
Kristy finally did as she was told, but Nathan could tell how sad she was. He turned to Wendy. "Maybe I should go see if Kristin's coming down to dinner?"
"Just be gentle," she warned.
He nodded and headed upstairs. The only problem was, he wasn't sure where exactly she was. He checked their bedroom by chance, but she wasn't there. He decided to change his mind and check on Harry first. He opened the door quietly and saw Kristin and Harry curled up in the bed together sleeping. He could tell from her tear-stained face she'd cried for a long time. At least his mind was at rest, knowing where she was now. He leaned over and kissed them both on the cheek, being careful not to wake them. Then, he headed back downstairs.
"Well?" Wendy asked expectantly.
"She and Harry are asleep; we'll just make a plate for each of them and set it aside."
"I'll help you," Wendy offered.
The others all ate, but the conversation was not as lively as it might have been in the past. Everyone was quiet, each person feeling the sadness and tension. After dinner, Kendall and Robert offered to take Kristy and Michael to see another movie; Lucas had plans with some of the other seaQuest crew members. Wendy didn't have any plans, but she made a point to go sit on the beach in order to make herself scarce.
Nathan sighed. He knew what they were all doing; part of him appreciated it while the other part felt guilty for it. Once everyone was gone, he headed upstairs. He quietly opened Harry's bedroom door once again. This time, although Harry was still asleep, Kristin wasn't. As soon as she saw it was Nathan, she rolled over so she wouldn't have to see him.
Nathan, however, was not one to be pushed away so quickly. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He hesitated slightly and placed a gentle hand to her back.
"Please don't," she whispered in protest. Nathan could hear the hoarseness of her voice that indicated she'd been crying.
Nathan sighed. "There're two plates in the refrigerator for you and Harry if you're hungry."
Kristin nodded, but said nothing.
"Why don't you come downstairs?" Nathan said in an attempt to talk with her.
She shook her head once again. "I don't want to see anyone."
"Everyone's gone; it's just us…please."
Kristin thought for a moment. "For a little while." She shifted carefully on the bed, so as not to wake Harry.
The two quietly made their way downstairs. They stood in the entryway for a moment. "Are you hungry?" Nathan asked.
She shrugged her shoulders. "A little."
"Come on, I'll heat it up for you," Nathan told her.
Kristin followed him into the kitchen, but stood in the doorway while he got out a clean fork and a knife for her and started reheating her meal.
"You can sit down, you know," Nathan said gently.
Kristin did after a brief moment of hesitation. A few minutes later, Nathan set the plate in front of her.
"This looks good; thank you," she muttered and took a bite.
"You're welcome." The two sat in silence for several minutes. Finally, Nathan asked, "Are you still angry?"
"What do you think? You accused me of being selfish."
"It's just that I don't know how to treat you," Nathan admitted. "One minute, you're fine; the next, you're sobbing. Why do you keep pushing me away? This morning….well, this morning, you were throwing yourself at me. I thought you were feeling better."
"I was, but this kind of threw a wrench in the works. And, I'm not like you," she said.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
She pushed the plate away, only a few bites eaten, and stood. "Because I don't handle things like you do. You want me to be like you; I can't."
"I don't expect you to be like me," Nathan countered.
"Well, you don't like the reaction I'm having. I can't help it."
"Well, you're acting like he's going to die tomorrow. You need to be rational," Nathan argued.
"Rational? Well, excuse me for being…emotionally fragile. And isn't it the pot calling the kettle black? I've been the strong one in this relationship for a long time, and now the tables are turned…and you can't seem to handle it!" she yelled.
"What do you mean, you've been the strong one?" Nathan yelled back.
"You've always been the one who was emotionally insecure. When we first realized we had…feelings for one another, I had to reassure you constantly, emotionally."
Nathan shook his head. "That was completely different. In a short time, I lost everything I cared about. Excuse me!"
"And for so long, you failed to see what was right in front of you! I was there, and you didn't see it. You pushed me aside, ignored me…but I gave you chance after chance. And eventually, you gave in. And now the shoe's on the other foot."
Nathan scoffed slightly. "So, I'm just supposed to accept that you're having an emotional crisis and not say a damn thing? I'm just supposed to let you push me away, push Kristy away…all because Harry's sick? Don't you think I'm as broken up as you are? Yet, I'm not walking around all depressed," Nathan shouted. "Wasn't it you who got so upset when I wouldn't speak to you about my nightmares? Wasn't it you who got upset. Think of how I feel!"
"How you feel?" Kristin repeated, tears starting to fall. "I was thinking of how you feel. In fact, I'm tired of thinking about how everyone else feels! For once, I'm focusing on how I feel. And maybe you should too!"
"I would if I knew what it was you were feeling! You won't talk to me!"
"Maybe it's because you're being an insensitive bastard!" Kristin yelled. She walked toward the back door.
"Where are you going? I'm not finished."
"Go to Hell!" she yelled, slamming the door behind her. She walked to the beach and threw herself down in the sand. She buried her head in her hands and sobbed, unaware that Wendy was nearby. Kristin felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and jumped.
"I didn't mean to startle you," Wendy said gently. Kristin allowed her to put her arms around her. "Just let it out," Wendy whispered.
Kristin did so, sobbing uncontrollably for a long time. She was grateful that Wendy never forced her to say anything, never forced her to voice what she was feeling. The truth was, she was feeling so many things, she couldn't get a handle on them. After a while, her tears subsided until finally, she was empty.
"Feel better?" Wendy asked.
Kristin nodded. "A little," she answered, her voice thick. "Thank you."
"Anytime, Honey. You're having a bad time of things lately."
Kristin nodded. "I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologize to me," Wendy reassured her. "I think you're handling it better than some people would. You've been through Hell lately."
"I wish Nathan was as understanding as you are. I wish I could act differently…but I can't, at least not right now."
"Liz will help you, you know," Wendy began.
"Liz…oh my God! I completely forgot. I never even called her office," Kristin realized.
"I did," Wendy said. "I knew you had too much going on. She's going to call you tomorrow afternoon, assuming you'd be finished by then. She wants to come to you, thinking that'd be easier for you."
"I'm not sure-" Kristin started.
"No," Wendy said gently. "You can't stop seeing her…not yet. Think of it like an open wound. You started healing, but you cut yourself again. If you don't get it looked at, it'll never heal. You will heal…but only if you continue seeing her. It sounds like you all need to see her."
"Like a family session?"
Wendy nodded. "I don't think it would hurt, especially with the depositions coming up in a few days."
"Oh, I'd forgotten about those too. I suppose the lawyers need to be informed about Harry too."
Wendy nodded. "Liz mentioned she'd tell them. They'll work around it." After a few minutes Wendy asked, "Do you want to go back inside?" She stroked Kristin's hair gently.
"You can go if you'd like. I think I'd like to stay out here for a bit longer," Kristin said.
"Are you sure?"
She nodded. However, she noticed Wendy made no attempt to leave. She turned to her. "I'm fine…go."
"Alright," Wendy said. "See you later."
