November 1st

Dear Edward

I'll probably never send this to you, but I'm going to write anyway.

I had another dream. This time it was much more intense than anything else I've ever experienced. I can still feel your lips on my neck, on my body, your hot breath traveling down my stomach as your hands travel up my thighs. The same way they did nearly two months ago.

As we ascended to your apartment in the elevator the feelings became too much for me, so when you looked at me with your smoldering eyes I attacked you. That would be the best way to describe it. I didn't even hear the elevator door open; you just put your hands under my bottom and walked with me to your door, your lips never leaving mine. I'm not sure how you opened the door, but you did.

By this point my heart was pumping so fast I'm certain if you had of put me down I would have fallen over. I didn't need to worry, because when you put me down it was on a soft gold comforter and even then you really didn't let me go.

It had never felt like that before, something I told you in the moment. I was met with your crooked smile, and a smug response of "we haven't even started yet." Never in my life had words ever affected me so much. My hips rose off the bed, in desperate need of friction; a desperation I had never experienced.

I had never felt so comfortable in my nudity, but when you stripped me down I didn't move to cover myself, and when your lips worshiped every inch of my body, all I could do was pull you closer to me as I fell apart underneath you. I can't even describe to you the feeling of you being inside of me, our motions working together as one as we found our release. People had always told me that making was love was a beautiful thing, I had never believed it until I saw your face relaxed in pure ecstasy. Your eyes bore in to mine, your mouth half open and the muscles in your neck strained as your body convulsed above me, around me, in me.

I never wanted to leave you; I wanted to stay in that bed with you forever. You fell asleep, I kissed your lips; you smiled and held me tighter. I extracted myself from your grasp and left you in the bed and cried the entire cab ride home.

It was the most passionate night of my life, and I walked away. Passion was an emotion I didn't believe existed until I met you, and it doesn't exist after I left you.

Dreaming of white dresses and wedding nights that will never come,

Bella.