Chapter 7

Several more hours had passed. I curled into a ball on my bed, covered by my sheets. The images of Kairen in pain kept flashing through my mind, and his screams of hesitation, not wanting me to leave. I shut my eyes. Never did I want to see him like that again. I opened my eyes slightly, staring into the darkness of my room, the sun slowly peeking through the horizon, illuminating the end of my room. What kind of darkness had Kairen been holding on to this whole time, I wondered. I shifted to lie flat on my back, spreading my arms out, my bed strewn with tissues. The contrast of Kairen's expressions just from the day before, and now. Why? I slowly remembered, that I also had my own darkness to deal with, pain of loneliness that still clung to my soul even when I knew everything was alright now. I heard the door open.

"Aerei?" My mother called for me softly. She sat on the edge of my bed. "Kairen's calmed down now. He's asking for you."

I sat up and nodded. My mother knew I was in shock from seeing Kairen like that. I decided to change out of my clothes before going to Kairen.

She noticed I had bandages wrapped around my back while I was changing my shirt. "What happened to your back?"

"Oh. Nothing. I sparred with Kairen a while ago. It's mostly healed now." I pulled on a clean dress shirt and pair of black pants.

"Aerei." Her voice was solemn, sounding almost tired. "Kairen needs you now more than ever." I could clearly see the sadness displayed in her eyes.

"Mother." I walked over to her and held her hand, continuing to hold her gaze. "It will be okay."

My mother lowered her head. "Yes." She whispered so quietly I barely heard her speak.

I hesitated for a moment, but I went through with it anyway. I leaned down to hug my mother.

At first she was surprised, but she returned the gesture gratefully, bringing a hand up to rest on the small of my back.

I pulled away and smiled at her tenderly. "I'm going to see Kairen now." I turned away and padded to the entrance of my room. I walked down the various hallways that led to Kairen's room and stood outside the door of his room, my legs slowly giving in. Before I could hesitate even more, I pushed the door to his room open and entered. I quietly shut the door behind me. All the lights in his room were turned off. I observed Kairen from afar, he was sitting on his bed leaning back on the headboard looking out the window watching the sunrise with his hands neatly folded over the sheets on his lap, his shirt slightly unbuttoned and his appearance more disheveled than usual. He looked pale, all colour drained from his face, exhausted, and years older than he really was.

He turned to face me, saying nothing as an empty smile passed across his face.

I approached him and sat on the edge of his bed and stared down at his hands, they just barely trembled. I raised my eyes to look into his eyes, my face painted with worry.

"Don't look at me like that." He said while turning his head to look out the window again. Silence filled the air for a few moments until Kairen opened his mouth to speak. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that." He gripped his hands together tighter, his voice sounding strained. "I didn't want you to see."

I tilted my head in confusion, moving my legs onto the bed and kneeling on them so I could look straight at Kairen. "Why?"

"It's a story I didn't want you to hear." He mouthed gingerly. His voice void of any emotion with those eyes of his that always bared his true feelings.

I wanted to understand, but didn't want to force him. "If you don't want to tell me, it's alright."

He shook his head, and looked over at me with a pained smile. "I'll tell you." His voice shook hesitantly.

I stopped him before he could start. "Go calm down first. I can tell that's it's a story that's not easy for you to tell."

He nodded silently. "Okay." His lips quivered slightly. He pushed the sheets away and flipped his legs out of the bed sighing. "I'm going to have a bath then." He strode over to his bathroom, his steps somewhat unstable. He shut and door and I waited patiently.

I stood up and jumped off his bed, making my way over to his balcony. I pushed the glass doors open, feeling the cold breeze of the morning tickle my skin. I rested my arms on the baluster and closed my eyes, clearing my mind of all thoughts. My hair flowed and danced in the wind, the sun reflecting off of my argent-grey hair, causing it to sparkle. I breathed in, I didn't know how long I had stood there for, but I felt Kairen's presence behind me. I turned to face him, leaving one hand resting on the baluster.

He was dressed in white socks, black pants and a normal white dress shirt left untucked, the top few buttons slightly undone. He had a towel over his head, rubbing it into hair to dry it. He let the towel fall against his shoulders and lowered his arm as he slowly met my gaze. The ghost of a smile playing at his lips. The breeze slowly died down, and he opened his mouth. "You look so much like her." He paused and looked up at the birds that were passing overhead. "Alessa."

"Alessa?"

He nodded, and turned his eyes to meet mine. He walked towards me and propped himself onto the baluster to sit. He tore his gaze away from mine, and looked behind his shoulder to stare out at the sunrise and forest beyond. "Our older sister."

I watched him, my eyes widening in complete astonishment.

"She was about two hundred years older than me. I was about a hundred at the time. So this happened before you were born." His gazed hardened. "I was a kid who didn't understand anything. I followed her into the human world since I wanted to see life outside Lukedonia. The humans were performing experiments on their own kind, with or without the subject's consent. They were called modified humans." He paused for a while, looking down at the ground below as he kicked one of his legs forward. "One day, one of those modified humans went berserk, destroying everything around it. Killing humans."

My brow furrowed in confusion as I continued to listen.

"I was too weak since I was still a child. I couldn't protect myself. Alessa had stepped in to protect the humans and me as well. She told me to get away, but I didn't listen to her." He shut his eyes, tilting his head back he breathed in. "I stayed because I was worried about her, I thought I would be able to help. My decision proved fatally wrong." Kairen opened his eyes, and looked wistfully at the sky. "Soon, another modified human had appeared. Alessa was still able to fight off the two of them. She kept telling me to run, but I refused. A third one had appeared shortly after. Alessa was already exhausted at this point and had several wounds. Why didn't I run and call for help when I had the chance?" He sighed. "Alessa knew, at this point the two of us wouldn't be able to escape together. She had already evacuated all the humans in the area. Alessa fought to the death to protect me from those humans' hands." He clenched his hands into fists on his lap, his knuckles turning white. "I couldn't protect her at all. I failed to. Instead I only burdened her."

At this, I placed a hand on his leg to reassure him. I stayed completely silent, attempting to mask the pain and anguish I felt, for Kairen and the older sister I had never met, Alessa.

He looked down at me from where he was staring at the sky. "Thanks." He said, placing a hand over top of mine. His gaze returned to the sky, where he watched the clouds slowly pass over us. "I watched her disappear in front of my eyes, as the modified humans held me from my neck." His voice trembled and shook more than ever. He held back the tears that threatened to fall. "She had a small smile on her face as she mouthed those three words to me." He paused again, bringing his other hand over his heart. "Along with an apology. I love you. I'm sorry. Slowly, I watched her fade away, powerless." He stopped talking for a long time, until he found the strength to speak again. He lowered his hand resting it on his lap again. "She had stalled long enough for father to arrive to save me. She wasn't strong enough to stall for enough time to save the both of us. Father realized what had happened, he had seen her last few moments, and her smile, before she disappeared completely. Put into an eternal sleep. Father went into a rampage. How could he not after seeing a scene like that. His daughter dying and fading in front of his eyes. I had gone unconscious sometime during the fight, and when I awoke I was here, in my room. I was in a daze, and when I remembered what had happened, I went insane. I blamed it all on myself." He bit his lip and closed his eyes. "And I still do. I never want something like that to happen again. I want to be able to protect. To be strong enough to protect." He bowed his head so he could look into my eyes. "And then around a hundred and twenty years passed since she was put into eternal sleep. I slowly healed, little by little over that span of time, and finally you were born." He smiled at me wistfully. He closed his eyes for a few moments, before jumping down from the baluster and sighing.

I didn't know how to put what I was feeling into words, so I just stared at his back. That back of his that carried a great deal of guilt and sorrow that I hadn't know about for the past one hundred and eighty years that I'd been living.

He started to walk away with his head down, wanting to run far far away from reality. But his mind held him a prisoner, chaining him to his guilt. All of a sudden he lurched forward and took a step automatically in order to balance himself. He was surprised from the sudden impact. He had found that my arms had somehow made their way around his waist in an embrace.

I pressed my forehead into his back. "Stupid," I muttered under my breath.

He smiled painfully at my sudden insult and thought that he was perhaps an idiot. After all he had made so many mistakes he regret and wanted to take back and redo.

"You should have told me earlier. Trying to carry all these things by yourself." My voice was on the borderline of trembling, though I held on.

My words had shocked him. He grit his teeth, and balled his fists.

He didn't want to shed tears in front of me again. But he thought that maybe I was right, that he should have told me sooner. The thought always nagged at him though, that I might reject him, blame him and resent him for Alessa's death. So he had never brought it up, he didn't want me to hate him.

"I was afraid you'd hate me for what I'd done to Alessa," he said softly to mask the shakiness of his tone.

"Blockhead. You claim to know everything about me. How could I hate you. It's not your fault." I rubbed my face into his back, clutching him tighter, his scent encompassing me. "I'm sure Alessa thought the same." I sniffled as the tears began to roll down my cheeks, some of them soaking into Kairen's shirt.

He brought the back of his hand to his eyes to try and prevent the flow of his tears to no avail.

How long had he waited to hear those words. He willed his tears to stop, but they continued to flow. The dam holding in his darkness, feelings and memories finally released after three hundred years.

A strong and warm wind began to blow upwards and around us, fallen leaves swirling around the two of us drying our tears, as if stroking at our skin and hair to comfort us.

"Kairen. You're still a crybaby, aren't you. Though you've grown so much, you actually look like a prince." A giggled echoed within the wind.

He was brought back to the past, a memory long forgotten brought forward by the airy, unknown voice.

"Jeez you'll never look like a prince if you keep crying like that." Alessa scolded the young Kairen. "Here." She grabbed Kairen's arm and wrapped it with a piece of cloth. "Better?"

The young Kairen nodded while sniffling several times, tears still streaming down his cheeks.

"It'll heal in no time, so don't worry." She smiled at him and handed him his short sword once again. "Keep practicing. It boggles my mind how you even injured yourself," she huffed, placing a hand on her hip while tilting her head questioningly.

Kairen wiped his tears with his hand, his face now filled with determination as he practiced swinging his sword.

"There you go. Now that's what a prince should look like." Alessa reached down to ruffle his hair and smiled.

Kairen looked up to his elder sister and smiled. "So if I keep practicing, will I be like a prince when I get older?" he asked eagerly.

Alessa placed a hand on her chin in wonder. She knelt down so she was at eye level with Kairen. "Hmm. That's right. But remember, princes' are also handsome, so you can't cry too much or else you'll be less handsome, then you won't be like a prince. Princes' are manly and cool. So you have to be like that when you're older okay?" She clapped her hands together.

Kairen nodded. "Okay, I'll try not to cry anymore so I can be cooler and manly when I'm older, like a prince."

Alessa giggled at this, reaching towards Kairen, hugging him. "You're adorable. You're already my little prince, but there's always room for improvement."

Kairen hugged Alessa back and laughed. "Okay, aim to be a prince when I'm older!"

The voices of his memory began to fade slowly and he dropped his hand to his side while looking towards the sky. Letting his tears be dried by the comforting wind.

"You're a prince now Kairen. I'm proud of you."

The airy voice began to fade as the wind slowed.

Kairen reached his hand out towards the sky before the wind completely stopped, several pale pink petals falling into his hand. "Thank you Alessa," he whispered quietly into the calming wind.