A/N: Someone wanted me to write a Greatest Showman AU ^^ I've never actually watched the movie though, heh. Hope this is nice regardless ^^
He doesn't know how she manages to climb up to the bars every day and night to practice and then perform. Just the climb there has him winded and it's not even that long of a climb. He must be out of shape. But it'll be his last time there – in that particular place and in the circus in general. He just came to say goodbye even though he knows she'll probably hate him for it. It's strange because she's not one to hate very many things. The fact that he'll be one of them is…well, he doesn't want to think about that right now.
Levi watches as she swings across the ring effortlessly, not even frightened about falling in the least bit. She has the net set up like she usually does for practice, but he still can't imagine what it feels like to fall at that height even with a safety net. That's just another thing that separates them though.
She must see him. He wasn't exactly quiet as he clambered his way up the ladder to where she was, and he's the only person in the tent besides her. While it's spacious, it's not exactly difficult to notice if someone's there with you when the place is empty. She probably thought that he would leave if she ignored him long enough, but he's more stubborn than that.
"Petra," he says when he can't stand her not looking at him any further. His voice sounds so loud in this empty space. It's impossible for her to pretend that she doesn't hear him.
She finally turns to look at him, a feigned smile on her face. It lacks the warmth that it usually has, and it only makes him hate himself more. "I'm surprised to see you here," Petra says to him. She's breathing a little heavily from her training, but he's surprised she doesn't sound more winded. "What are you doing here?"
"Saying goodbye," he replies. He fiddles with a button on his shirt. How funny that he is doing such a thing. He's never been so nervous as to play with imaginary threads on his clothing, so why is he doing so now? It's just a simple goodbye to a friend. There really isn't a need to feel such guilt over it. He's just being ridiculous.
"Is that it?" Petra asks. She's not exactly angry – at least not entirely – but he's confused as to why she looks so amused. When he only stares at her blankly, she gives him another half-hearted smile. "Well then, goodbye. Thank you for stopping by."
This isn't what he expected. It's not what he wants either, although he can't say for certain what he really wanted in saying goodbye to her. Not tears. That would be too selfish of him to ask from her, but he was perhaps hoping that she'd be a little distraught at his leaving. It should be a good thing that she's already accepted it, but he can't help feeling a little annoyed.
But what annoys him the most is her back turned to him, so he grabs her by the wrist without thinking because he cannot bear to think that her retreating figure will be the last image he'll ever have of her.
"Is that…is that all you're going to say to me?" he asks her. He realizes how childish and bitter his tone is, but it's too late. He's already revealed himself and he can't hide it away from her.
She glances at his hand gripped around her wrist, but she doesn't pull herself away. "What else is there to say? If you've made a decision, who am I to tell you to stay?" she asks. It's so strange to see her so indifferent when usually she's so passionate and caring, sometimes forcing her way into his personal affairs even if he doesn't want it. Is this really the same person?
"It's not as if I want to go," he mumbles, angry for saying something so soft and sentimental at a moment where she doesn't even care. "This just isn't the place for me. I don't belong here."
It's only then that she looks him, really looks at him, and her expression is no longer unfathomable. She's angry for some strange reason, but at least it's not her indifference.
"Did you decide that on your own or did someone tell you that?" she asks, pulling her wrist away from him. She frowns at him as if he had personally offended her although he doesn't understand how she could be so hurt about what he said. It's not as if it concerns her anyway. "What makes you think there isn't a place for you here?"
"Because I'm not like any of you," he mumbles. He feels a fool now, but he knows she won't let it drop until he gives her a proper reply. "I can't be a part of…all of this."
It's only then that her gaze softens. Petra lets go of the rope she was holding onto, letting it unwind around her arm and fall onto the floor behind her, and reaches to brush his check with a gentle hand. "Have you been alone so long that you can't imagine yourself happy with others?" she whispers. "This happiness is not an illusion. It isn't forbidden to you, so why don't you take it?"
"Didn't I just say?" he says. "I'm not like you." He can't see something he wants and take it fearlessly when he knows there's a risk of having it taken away from him. If that means he has to be alone forever, he can be content with that.
To his surprise, she smiles at him like one would smile at a child. Silently she takes him by the hand and leads him to the edge of the platform. She stands with her toes hanging over the edge, but he remains behind her, not brave enough to venture so far where a fall is so much more likely.
"Then before you go, let me teach you the secret to flying," she tells him. Again, she takes the rope she had previously discarded and wraps it around her wrist the way he's seen her do so many times in practice and in shows.
He's often heard the other circus performers joke that what Petra does is a fancy way of falling. Perhaps so, but she always makes it look like flying. There's a reason why the crowd is silent as she performs, watching her glide across the circus tent as if she was always meant to spin and twirl in the air instead of living with her feet on the ground like most other people are.
And although he would like to watch her one last time before he goes, he finds himself saying, "I should go." If he stays any longer, he'll never be able to leave.
"You should go, or you want to go?" she asks him. The rope is still wound around her arm and she's teetering on the edge of the platform looking as if she could leap off at any moment.
He should go, but he doesn't want to go. He doesn't know which one he should say, so he remains silent.
She must take his silence as a desire for her to continue speaking – and she's not wrong in making that assumption. "When you're flying in the air, you need to make a decision. Are you going to remain where you are, or are you going to fly?" Petra lifts herself on and off the very edge of the platform, pushing herself off and then falling back into place. It's just a simple movement, but she makes it look so graceful. "And once you leap into the air, you can't change your mind midway. You can hang onto the rope for safety, but you'll dangle in the middle of nowhere. You need to decide where you're going and stick to it – then you'll be at the place where you want to be."
He looks at her warily. She's been doing this almost her entire life, so she can say such things so easily. How can she expect him to live like her? "Is it really so bad staying on the ground where you're most comfortable?" he asks.
"People don't come here to watch me with my feet on the ground," she laughs. She stops teetering off the edge and sits on the platform, patting the space next to her so he'll sit beside her. "And if I did that, I'd never know how exhilarating it is to fly. If you really want something, you have to reach for it even if it scares you. So when I perform, I look for the place I want to go and I take myself there. All the flips and twists are something a little extra."
He sits beside her, letting his legs finally dangle off the side just like hers do. He probably won't fall unless he leans forward, but there's still that danger. It's a little thrilling, he has to admit. Petra will probably call him a wimp if he admits this to her.
"What happens if I reach for it," he asks, "and I end up falling?"
"Silly," she smiles. She reaches for his face, thumb caressing his cheek lightly. "Then I'll catch you."
His heart beats faster and he wonders if her heart beats this quickly when she jumps and flips into the sky. It must be something like this, right? Being so entranced by something you need to reach for it, he thinks as he leans in closer to her. If you want something, you should take hold of it before it escapes. He thinks he's beginning to understand, so he closes his eyes, waiting for their lips to meet, but when he opens his eyes she's gone.
He searches for her and only finds her when she laughs, the sound of her amusement echoing across the empty circus tent. She's swinging so easily across the wide-open space, unafraid of the drop beneath her, dangling from the ceiling from only a rope. She doesn't think of the terrible things that could happen. She's only thinking about gliding through the air, the feel of the wind as it brushes through her hair, and he can see on her face that she's happy.
She's flying.
A/N: Thanks for reading everything so far! Makes it really nice to know that people appreciate my writing :) Also especially nice to know that love for this ship is still around! I just finished (re)watching AoT s1 with my younger sis (who has never watched it before) and she really ships Rivetra too! She bawled during ep 22 lol.
Word Count: 1736
