Just a week until PLL comes back... So sorry I haven't updated in a while. Anyway this chapter is a side chapter that might answer some of your questions. Kisses, N.

Inside Hanna's nightstand in her bedroom laid an unsent letter she wrote to Caleb years ago...

Dear Caleb

By the time you read this letter, I'll be gone. gone from our home, away from the place where we spent so little time laughing and being happy. I wish I could say I have only bad memories from this place, but it would be a lie.

I have the memories of us growing up. of that stolen, truly stolen, first kiss. Of the night you brought me home after I was almost raped at a party. of how you held me that night chasing the memories away. I hated how despite all our arguments, you were my solid rock, the one that kept me floating every time my world seemed to be crumbling. I wish I had more bad memories of you, because then my departure would make more sense to both of us but it isn't so.

I feel as if I can't breathe anymore. Whenever I close my eyes I see blood everywhere, covering me, drowning me in it. All I see in front of me when I close my eyes is Aria's body. All I can hear is Mr. Fitz's desperate struggle to get as many people out as possible. I hear crying and yelling. I can still remember with perfect clarity Mrs. Montgomery's anguished cry as they brought Aria's lifeless body out of the building. I can't cry or laugh any longer. Not after my best friend died taking a bullet meant for me. I don't have the right any longer to do so.

I'm a coward from running away, but believe me, I'm running away from myself just as much as I'm running away from you. I'm running away from the girl who wants to live her life fully once more. I'm running because you are able to save her from the path of destruction Mona left behind, on the fateful day when she brought a gun to a graduation event and started shooting, us her classmates.

I want to get away from everything, because I'm scared. Scared you could actually make me feel that I have the right to live and more importantly be happy.

I take a parting gift from you as I leave in the morning. Your sleeping face. it's the most peace full image I have of you. It's my most cherished memory. Because as you sleep I finally have the real you standing in front of me, with out anymore masks. It is the only thing I take away from our relationship.

Forgive me for becoming this broken, coward, who has no more guts left in her to tell you what she thinks anymore. As I leave now I'm leaving you all my feelings and all the broken pieces of my heart. maybe one day I'll be able to return and reclaim them.

Love,

Hanna