A/N: Sorry for such a delay! I've been working on writing this whole story out before updating, and I think I'm finally at a place where I can update safely.
—-
Roy paced, paced quietly so the aged hardwood floor didn't shriek and wake the boys. But paced enough so that the wood was warn in a way in which it remembered his footsteps. He waited, for the gentle tap on the door that he knew would be coming. Waited for the comfort of his best friend, who knew him better than he knew himself. Whose warm smile would comfort him, and soft words that would gently heal his battle worn heart.
When that soft rap at the door finally came, Roy was nearly on pins and needles. The day had rattled him hard, with him thoughts overflowing of the most wrecked months of his life. Where Maes was his light house in a storm, both after his tours in Iraq and when Riza battled her cancer.
Roy felt like sprinting to the door, but instead merely walked over and carefully opened the door. "Hey," Roy said softly, "Thanks for coming…"
'I'm sorry' nearly flew off his lips, but Maes was already on top of it.
"No problem Roy," Maes answered quickly as he stepped inside, a smile graced his lips. "I mean, what are friends for."
A soft smiled tugged at Roys lips as he shut the door, " A friend like you is far more than I deserve." Roy said softly as he lead his friend inside.
—
Across town, Ed laid awake in bed. Alphonse told him he needed rest, but Edward couldn't help but toss and turn. Besides, with Al checking on him every hour to make sure he didn't lapse into a coma, it was difficult to sleep. His mind was running a thousand miles a minute, and he didn't know how to make it stop.
Annelise was already asleep, so he didn't have to worry about that. He was glad that Roy had taken care of her, while his dumb ass was trying to sleep off his concussion. It had been a long time since he had one, back to the second worse day in his life. Where his whole life changed before his eyes.
The day of the accident.
Where life changed the moment a red light turned green, and he had never felt so scared in his entire life.
Out of habit, Edward grabbed his left knee, feeling the cold touch of metal beneath the soft material of his soft sweatpants. Because being at the hospital, made him remember the night where he lost more than just his left leg.
The night he lost his Mother, the only parent he had ever known.
It had been a long time since he had felt the pain of losing his Mother, it was an old wound that he would always carry with him. Like the scars he carried with him from that day, but rarely did the pain ever consume him.
Slowly, he sat up, trying to ignore the slight dizziness he felt. He shifted towards the nightstand to pick up his cellphone. Unlocking the phone, he opened the messages app and started typing out a text.
(903): Hey it's Ed, are you busy?
He slowly blinked, questioning if he had made the right decision. He could always call Al in, Al always knew the right things to say when it came to memories of their Mother. They could have a sleep over in Al's room, and keep each other safe like they always had. But he felt his phone buzz, and he felt a smile play way to his lips.
(824): Not too busy, do you need something?
Edward smiled a little brighter, because he finally had another person he felt comfortable reaching out to.
(903): Just needed to talk to somebody.
—-
"Roy."
Roy looked up from his phone, Hughes has a slightly concerned look on his face. "You ok, buddy?" Hughes asked, his glasses gleaming in the light of the living room. "I swear I just watched five different emotions flash across your face."
Roy smiled slightly, it was soft and didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm sorry, it was just a message I got left me feeling slightly.." He paused, thinking over his words very carefully, "..conflicted."
Hughes smiled, "How can I help?" He asked, "I'm useless if I just sit here drinking wine, watching you tear yourself apart over a text."
Roy sat in silence for a long time, thinking over his words and all the things he wanted to say but wasn't quite ready yet. He thought on the days events, and how he loved knowing he helped Ed, but how he didn't know how to help Ed in the way he wanted to. "It's just.." He started softly, "How do I help someone whose hurting when I don't know how?"
Hughes's smile turned into a small grin, "You just talk to them," Hughes stated so simply. "Being there for someone is more helpful than you know, sometimes actions are speak louder than words." He paused for a minute, his smile fading somewhat. "I mean, didn't you realize that back then?"
Roy paused, drifting back into the past. When his days were filled of nothing but a deep burning pain in his heart. It was like a boulder, sitting on his chest, so heavy that he couldn't even breath. Maes was his lifeline, pulling him out of the darkness simply with his words and gentle promises. "Yes I do." Roy said, in a voice very soft and timid, "But Hughes, I am not you, I don't have the right words."
Hughes let out a little snicker, "Roy, it's not about the right words," He stated, "It's all about being there." He paused, "Whatever text you've been looming over for the last ten minutes, send it, I'm sure it's perfect."
Roy's cheeks became slightly pink, and his hands shook slightly as he pressed 'send'.
(824): Of course, what's on your mind?
—
Ed read, and reread the text over and over again. Trying to think of the right thing to type, he was never good at texting. Hell, he wasn't even good with words half the time. He wasn't use to letting anyone in his little bubble. All he had known for years was Al and Winry, and of course old lady Pinako. He didn't have many friends, he didn't have many people he could rely on. His Mother had died when he was six years old, and his Father had walked out on them we he was still toddling around in diapers.
He wasn't good at reaching out for help, because for so long he had never been able to rely on anyone for help.
(903): I'm not having a good night.
He sent that instead of saying 'I feel like I'm dying', instead of 'I can't do this, I can't do this'. He sent texts to Roy instead of crawling in his brothers bed and sobbing over things that happened close to two decades ago. He talked to a perfect stranger instead of curling up in the arms of the person who lived these moments with him, felt the same pain that he did.
Oh, but Al didn't understand. Al would never understand, because he doesn't remember the accident. He doesn't remember seeing their Mother's face laying, bloodied and white against the steering wheel of the car. Or the way she laid lifeless, while Edward screamed for her to wake up. Because Al laid dead to the world for days, close to weeks, after the accident,.
Al would never understand that pain, and Ed was so glad that this pain was his alone to bear.
—
(824): I'm an not having a good night either.
Roy looked at the text again, 'No, no good.', he thought before hitting the backspace button about a hundred times. It was not a good idea to tell Ed he wasn't having a good night as well, he was turning to Roy for support not for Roy to create a fucking pity party.
(824): Well I wouldn't expect you were, you did smash your head on the edge of a table after all.
He slightly giggled at his own smarts comment, he could be such an ass sometimes. Hughes had left sometime in the last hour, saying that if Roy needed him that he could call him. Making sure to stress that it didn't matter what time it was, he would be there if Roy wanted him.
(903): Don't be a dick, it wasn't like I meant to do that.
Roy snickered.
(824): I know, I know. I'm sorry, how can I help you?
—-
Ed took in a deep breath as he read the text over and over, and over and over again. Resting his hand against the bed to support himself, because the last thing he needed was to fall off the bed and knock his brain around even more. Their were only a handful of people who had asked him how they could help him before, and the list was really only two people: his brother, and his late wife.
But here was Roy, someone who had only known for a short while, asking how he could help him. And all Ed wanted to do was cry.
(903): Oh fuck, fuck don't ask me shit like that because I will cry.
It was strange, how all his walls fell down when it came to Roy. He didn't understand the feeling, but it took him back to a time so long ago. A time before Winry, when he was young and stupid. A time full of heartbreak, and tears, and dark thoughts. He hadn't thought about that time in so long, but here those thoughts were creeping up on him.
(824): But sometimes you need to cry, maybe it'll make you feel better?
Oh, oh this man was trying to make him cry. But in a way, the hurt felt good because it made Ed feel alive for the first time in fifteen weeks.
—
"God, I am so fucking stupid." Roy whispered to himself as he reread the text he sent Ed, before sitting his phone down on the table. "Maybe it will make you feel better, god I am fucking stupid."
Roy pondered over how to make up for his stupid comment, what could he do to tell Ed he didn't mean to make him cry. Picking his phone back up, he opened the messages section, his finger hovering over Ed's contact info. But somehow, he accidentally hit the call button instead of the message button.
"Oh, fuck!" Roy cursed, "didn't mean to do that." He mumbled, going to hit the 'end call' button. But before he could do that, he heard a tiny voice on the other end of the line.
"Hello?"
'Is that Ed?' Roy thought as he fumbled to lift his phone up to his ear, honestly surprised he answered at all. "Ed, I am so sorry." Roy replied softly. "I didn't mean to call you, I hit the wrong button."
"No, it's okay…" The other line went quiet for a minute, "I'm..glad you called."
Roy was beaming, "Oh, really?" Roy said, his heart beating ten times faster. "Well, maybe it wasn't such a bad mistake after all."
He heard Ed chuckle slightly, which was such a beautiful sound - wait, what? Roy quickly shook that thought out of his mind, Ed reached out to him for comfort after all. "I've, just got a lot going on in my mind and need someone to talk to so I don't go crazy." Ed said, his voice was softer than usual, and Roy could only guess it was due to events of the day and the fact that everyone in house was probably sleeping.
"Well, I promise I won't let you go crazy on my watch." Roy said, hiking the phone up to rest between his shoulder and his ear so that he could take a drink of his wine that he had let sit for probably far too long. "What's on your mind?"
Silence from Ed's end, and Roy could only assume Ed was struggling over what to talk about. "I….I don't really know where to start." Ed paused, "It's a lot of shit, and some of it is old shit that shouldn't still be bothering me."
"Just because something happened years ago doesn't mean you get over it." Roy answered honestly, "I was out in Iraq way over ten years ago now, do you think I'm over that yet?"
"No, but that's different." Ed replied, "War is traumatic, and you will always live with that but I shouldn't be sitting here crying over a car accident that happened when I was six years old."
'Ah, that's why he's so worried over Annelise's car seat.' Roy thought, thinking back to when he was putting the young girls car seat back in Al's car earlier in the evening. "I'm sure it wasn't any little car accident if you are still thinking about it all these years later, Ed." Roy replied, "It's okay, to have scars and still be hurting - no matter how long it's been."
Ed was silent again, and then Roy heard the sound of gentle sobs. "Oh, Edward." Roy said in a soft tone, burying his face in his free hand. "I didn't mean to make you cry."
"No, no it's not you, Roy." Edward said through soft sobs, " 'm just fucked up, that's all."
"That's not true, you've just had a rough couple of months." Roy said, "I know, I've been there, and it's pure shit." Roy paused for a moment, "And I'm so, so sorry you've had to go through this."
"You," Edward started through soft trembles in his voice, "are seriously way too nice."
Roy smiled slightly, "Happy to help, even though I didn't do much besides making you cry." Roy replied, before taking a large drink of his Chardonnay. Because he needed some of his thoughts to disappear right now, so that he could feel sane. "But seriously, talk about whatever you need Ed, I promise I will listen."
Silence from the other end, before he heard the sounds of Ed taking a deep breath. "Where the hell do I even start?" Ed said with a soft, half hearted chuckle, "Their was the car crash, I think that's where the fucked up-ness starts."
