Chapter 7 – Trust
Thursday – May 20, 1999
21:16
Seeing as I am still here and not fired, nor in Azkaban for that matter, apparently the meddlesome old fool, for once, made the smart decision not to interfere with my blasted life (more so than normal that is). However, it does pose a rather odd question: why would Albus want to be an active part of my life?
Merlin knows there are enough young witches and wizards out there that could use guidance –more than the half-a-soul I possess. They still have a chance to be set straight at least – I will not change my ways; there is no reason to.
Perhaps he has finally given up – he will be the last to do so, besides Minerva. She is under the enchantment that her teasing amuses me still, and while it did for some time, games can only be played for so long until a draw is called or someone is defeated.
Looking back, I see I had not completed the list of damnables for Albus – though there is not much reason now.
6. Write in an unwanted journal to appease an easily distracted wizard who must have his hand in 20 cauldrons at once – lest he gets bored.
7. I suppose I should expand on number 4: Save the brat from falling off his broom, save him from a three-headed dog, send Fawkes with the Sorting Hat for the brat to slay the Basilisk (Dear Salazar, was that really necessary?), get attacked by the werewolf (yet again), hold back Crouch Jr. while you escort the brat out of his chambers, check up on the mutt (said mutt only to dive in head first and get himself killed), teach (and fail) the brat at Occlumency, help him hunt for the horcruxes, and assist in killing the Dark Lord.
I will never understand why he saved me that night, and I am terrified to admit I do not think I could ever ask him – what would he say? There would be no spouting of lost love or respect, I can assure you, nor was there companionship in those long years I was forced to endure his presence. Yet the boy still staunched the blood and removed the venom from my body with ease, which by all rights should not have been possible.
Then again, the rules have never applied to Mr. Potter. Why should they have started that night almost a year ago? For once, thank Merlin, Salazar, and the rest of the founders and whatever God above that sees over the Earth, that they do not.
Morning comes much too early for one who cannot sleep.
- Severus
