Hey loves. Sorry it's been a while. So much shits been going on, so I apologize if this one is a bit off. I hope to speed things up soon. Because I know the pace is a tad slow. So read, review an enjoy ;)
This one goes out to Fitchswitch, for pimping my story, and being an amazing writer that reviewed my story and made my day! ;)
Naomi
Thursday
Last night had to be one of the best nights in my life, and there were no drugs or alcohol involved. Amazing, I know. We spent an hour or so at the park, swinging away, and talking about anything and everything. It was nice. Real nice in fact. Emily is so different. She's not the girl I expected at all. She's down to earth, with a little fire inside. I let her talk about her Grandmother some more, because she needed to. That's what people do when they mourn. So I let her talk. And to be honest, I think I could listen to her voice forever.
I talked about myself, mostly just because she asked. Usually I don't like talking about myself. Even if she wasn't interested in what I had to say, she managed to act like she did. Oh wait, she's an actress? Of course she can act.
So, I kind of told Emily that I lived here with my Father. Why? I have no idea. Okay, wait I do. She's an actress. She's fucking famous, and no doubt rich as hell. I know she's not the type to care about materialism, but part of me was scared that if she knew I was really just a poor kid from Bristol, who lived with a bunch of freaks, she might take off. So I'm sort of in this little predicament. Usually I could give less of a fuck what people think. But Emily's not just anybody. She's special. Even though we don't know each other well, I can feel it. I don't believe in fate, but Emily is a close call.
Part of me regrets the fact that I lied, because now I have to keep it up. And fuck, when I leave? It's not like I'll ever see her again. I could come back, who knows. That's a whole week and a half away. And it's not like Emily's going to come to a shithole like Bristol. So to be honest I have no fucking idea what I've got myself into. And I'm shitting myself at the fact that I have no clue.
Anyway, today, Emily has gone to her Grandmother's funeral. I thought it was quite fast to have the burial so quick, but Emily said that the family wanted to put her with her husband as soon as possible. He passed away last year. And apparently that's what she wanted. It's quite sweet actually.
So today I'm spending time at home, or at the house I should say. There's a theatre here, so I'm locking myself in here today. First on my list of movies is, Heavenly Creatures. Then after that Thelma and Louise. I know I know, bit of a theme there. But I'm in the mood for these films okay. And then I'll probably watch Mean Girls. Cause that film is fucking funny. Don't tell anybody. But Effy and I secretly watch it when we're wasted. Panda loves it too, but she doesn't need to be wasted to laugh. That girl will still laugh, even if she doesn't get it. God I think I'm starting to miss that dosey cow.
I haven't heard from Emily since last night. She's got more important things to do today.
Thinking of you x N
Okay so I decided to send her a text. I can't help it. Even though I know what I'm getting into is wrong, I cant help it. I'm addicted to this girl. Is it possible to love and hate something at the same time? I love spending time with her, even though in the back of my mind I know it wont last. I know that eventually I'm going to leave. I know that she likes me. And even though I haven't fully figured out what it is that I feel towards Emily, I know that someone is going to get hurt. Somebody always gets hurt. Fuck where is Effy when I need her. She's good with this shit.
Miss you. Can we meet up later? x E
There it is. There's what makes my heart melt. Makes my head go fucking crazy. This is unbelievable. I, Naomi Campbell, have become attached to someone, some girl, in a mere four days. From only five encounters. How is that possible? How is it that I can even feel something for someone? Wait, what? I don't mean that. Do I? I can't. I don't do that. I don't do feelings. I'm like emotionless. Except for when I'm pissed at someone. Then I have a shit load of emotion.
I can't help it. Of course I text back. You would too.
Promise. Just let me know. x N
Promise? Fuck sakes Naomi. Why are you making promises? Do you promise to hurt her to? Cause you know you're going too. Christ, now my fucking conscience decides to show up. Well it's a bit fucking late buddy.
Will do. Can't wait. ;) E xx
I think I need a spliff to be quite honest. All of this is doing my head in something shocking. It's crazy, when I'm not with Emily, all I think about is Emily. The way her eyes dip when she's shy. The way she laughs so huskily. The way she places her hand on my arm when she does laugh. And the way she smiles. How infectious it is. Damn thing. And her smell. God, she smells so amazing. And I haven't even been close enough to fully…inhale? Okay that sounds creepy, embrace, yeah we'll go with that. What I would do to just have her scent around me all day.
Christ. See this is my problem. I think about her so much. Then it leads to me thinking about what's going to happen when she finds out the truth. When I leave, and return to Bristol. I'm a fucking idiot, I know. I barely know her, and I'm dreading the fact that I'm bound to hurt her. I actually care about her feelings. Emily Fitch, what are you doing to me?
About six or seven hours later I had finished watching all three movies. I'm amazed that I still laugh at that movie, I've seen it enough times. I wish Effy were with me though. I miss her. I actually miss her. Who thought it was possible? But I can just sit with Effy, not say a word, and she will still know what's wrong with me. I swear that girl has some sort of sixth sense, It's rather creepy. But that's Effy. That's what I love, and hate about her. Sometimes she can take one look and know that I'm hiding something. Know that I have a secret. I remember the day I kissed Jeremy Daniels and she knew I had kissed someone, whom it was and that it was behind the bike sheds. From one fucking look.
I could really use Effy right now. Just have her sit with me. She'd most probably pick at my thoughts and come up with some sort of logic to them. Develop a solution and fix everything. Or just tell me I'm a complete twat for making up a lie and that I only have myself to thank for this mess.
"Naomi!" I hear Ryan shriek outside my door. God that kid has a set of lungs all right.
I open the door to the sound of a click and stare at the little terror. My irritation flies at the sight of my little brother in tears. "Ryan. What's wrong?" I sound concerned. You know. this kid has worked some magic on me as well.
He sniffles, and dives for my leg, clutching it as well as his blanket. Bristol Naomi would have pried this kid off her leg with some sort of disgust, but London Naomi just runs her hand through his hair and pats his back, until he eventually eases his grip.
"I-I had a nightmare. And Mama and Dad are still out." That's right. Dave actually took Christina out for once. Didn't think the man had it in him. But apparently he has a romantic side. Or maybe he was just trying to get some. Wait, ew!
Shaking the most disgusting thoughts away, I bend down so that I'm eye level with a still teary eyed Ryan. "But it's okay now. It was just a dream. Come on, let's get you back to bed tiger." I ease Ryan back down the hall to his room.
He climbs back up onto his bed, and I don't know where it came from, but I tuck him in. He looks up at me with a smile. "You want your night light on?" I ask him, and he nods. I turn on the little batman light, and head for the door.
"Naomi?" Ryan whispers. I turn to see his face dripping with slight fear.
"Yeah?" I ask him. He's a little hesitant to reply, but eventually he does.
"Can you check under my bed for monsters?" I have to force myself not to laugh. This kid is friggin' adorable sometimes. How is he related to me?
I do as he asks. "No monsters under there. You want me to check you closet too?" He nods, clutching at the top of his blanket, anticipating me opening the doubled closet in his room. I check in there, practically walking in and spinning around. "Monster free closet? Check." He smiles at me, and snuggles down into his bed.
Something inside of me snaps, and I feel this protectiveness of Ryan take over. Or London Naomi as I now call her. Me. Whatever. I walk over to him, and make sure his blankets are secure. Then out of nowhere, I bend down and kiss his forehead as he yawns. "Night Ry." I whisper as he closes his eyes.
I walk over to his light and switch it off. I close the door before I hear the faintest whisper from the little boy, "I love you."
Like I said, that kid is magic. I've never felt the way I just did. The way I do. The only people who have ever told me they loved me are my mother and Grandmother. Because they have too. It's like in the mother code or something. Oh and Effy, Cook and Panda when they're drunk or fucked off their faces.
But that. That little 'I love you' has hit me off guard. I curse the smile that has crept onto my lips. I don't do this, I don't do affection. But Ryan, Ryan is starting to get the better of me.
I realize I'm still standing outside Ryan's bedroom when my pocket starts vibrating.
Swings aren't as fun without you. See you soon? Xx E
It's only nine. Dave and Christina aren't home still. Fuck the maids are all here, I'm sure they'll keep an eye on the kids. It's not like I was told to watch them. Plus they're sleeping.
I grab my coat and throw on a pair of chucks and head for the backdoor. I run towards the park again. Not wanting to waste anytime I have with Emily.
Sure enough she's there, swinging peacefully on the swings. She's wearing white dress, with a black blazer. Christ I swear this girl doesn't feel the cold one bit. She like a ball of warmth. A cute ball.
"Hi" I whisper, not wanting to disturb her. She lifts her head with a glowing smile.
"Hey yourself." Wow, she looks fucking amazing tonight. For someone whose buried the most important person in her life, she's holding up well.
I take the swing next to her and begin to roll on the balls of my feet, mimicking Emily's swinging. "How was the funeral?" God I can be a twat sometimes. I've never been to a funeral. Well to my great Uncle Alberts, but I was like five then, and had no idea who he was, or what the fuck was going on. Just that my Gran was upset.
"It was nice. Nan would have liked it. It was simple. Easy. You wouldn't think losing someone would be so easy, but she made it easy for all of us. She knew her time was coming up you know. It just sucks." Emily paused for a moment, and hung her head in silence. I just wait, wait for her to carry on. Because I presume there's more.
"She tried to say goodbye to me. But I was too stubborn and wouldn't let her. Katie and James let her. But I wouldn't. I couldn't take it. I'm not very good with goodbyes. So instead of sitting there, hearing all the beautiful things my Gran wanted to tell me, I ran away." Emily is now fully emersed in tears. Yet she remains looking so fucking gorgeous. My heart hurts at the sight of her crying. At the mere fact that she's hurt.
"I haven't cried today. Not even when we buried her. And then I went back to the house, and found this on my bed." She pulled out a envelope with, with a very elegant Emily, written on the front. It reminded me of my Grandmothers handwriting.
I Nod in silence. I'm a little lost for words right now. I seem to always be lost for words when Emily is pouring her heart out. I'm not used to this. Not used to emotions. My best friend is one o the most emotionless people in the world. As am I. But Emily is a whirlwhind. I've seen her happy, sad, playful, intriguing, but I've yet to see her mad.
Emily holds the paper in her hand. I can tell she's shaking. "I read it before you came. She told me to be strong. That I've always been the strongest out of us kids. She told me that I wouldn't be alone anymore. That she'd always be watching me. And that I should follow my heart. That soon something will change, and I should step out and grab it."
I couldn't help but smile at her words. Emily noticed this, and looked at me confused. "Now I know where you get your annoying crypticness from." I winked, lightening the mood a bit. That was me. That was how I dealt with these situations.
Emily stifled a laugh, "You love it." She giggled nudging me.
"How was your day anyway? You do anything interesting?" She asked, turning to face me. Her face was brighter now. I loved bright Emily.
I shrugged, "Checked for monsters." I answered candidly. Emily's confused look returned, then she burst into laughter.
"That is interesting. You afraid of the dark Naomi?" Her voice was so sexily husky it took me off guard.
"N-no." I answered, cursing at how weak I sounded.
She laughed again, only this time fall into a sympathetic look. "Are you sure? You don't need me to hold your hand?" She mocked. This girl bounces form one emotion to another in a flash.
I nudged her, "Get off. I was checking Ryan's room. He had a nightmare, so I put him back to bed." I said, not realizing how defensive I sounded until I looked at Emily's face. Her trying to be serious.
"Naw. That is so cute. You amaze me. I never thought you had it in you, Naomi Campbell." Oh no, she knows my full name. And even she finds it ridiculous. I can see her trying to stop her lips from curling up at the sides.
I rolled my eyes, "Go on. Laugh away." I wave my hand. I was used to this.
Emily began to laugh, but only shortly, "I'm sorry. But it is funny. Even you have to admit it. Was your Mum high or something?" She asks.
"Probably." I replied bluntly. Emily looked a bit shocked at how casual I was about it. And her laughter stopped then and there.
We fell into I comfortable silence. I was getting used to this comfortableness with Emily. And it scared the shit out of me.
"You sure you're not afraid of the dark? I can still hold your hand." Her whisper sent chills down my spine. I didn't know how to respond. Was she flirting with me? I've never really experienced flirting. Not with a girl. Barely with a guy. But I liked it.
Instead I acted. And much to Emily's surprise I slid my hand into hers. Interlocking our fingers for the first time. I felt like a whole new energy was surging through my body. All it was was holding hands. But it was nice. I liked it. I could sit like this forever. Just Emily and I.
Then Emily snapped me out of my reverie.
"Have you ever been to Bristol?"
Fuck
