"Are you kidding me..." Murdoc stared at his own reflection in the mirror with a scowl. "This..is just...UGH!" He kept prodding at his nose with his index finger, as if poking it repeatedly would make it look normal again. Russel really had worked a number on his face. His nose was beyond repair now. It would be a deformity on his face for the rest of his life, and he knew it.
"I look like a fucking moron.." Murdoc tried desperately to open his swollen eye, but it was shut completely. Bright purple, what a shiner. He sighed and leaned forward slowly, pressing his forehead against the glass and closing his eyes. He rested there for a minute as he took slow, deep breathes and calmed himself down.
While against the mirror, Murdoc was contemplating what to do. He could either go out and try to call a band practice, acting like the non-caring jackass he was known to be, or he'd go and try to get 2D out of his room again, letting Russel know he was going soft. If only 2D knew the truth about Paula. Maybe he would think differently about what Murdoc did then. If he knew she was using him.
As Murdoc began stepping out of the studio bathroom, he could hear Russel's voice in the living room.
"Shit, I haven't seen you in days. How you holding up?"
Murdoc's eyes went wide and he pressed his back against the wall of the hallway, listening in.
"Not so good...I don't like being in my room so long. I wanted to come out but I just...couldn't!"
It was 2D! Murdoc bit his lower lip and tried harder to hear better.
"Sorry. It's not like I could've gotten Murdoc out myself."
"I know, thanks anyways though...I actually have some news..."
That's when Murdoc couldn't hear anymore. "Are they whispering? What the hell! Speak up, for the love of Satan!" He thought angrily. After some time, their voices picked up once again.
"Well...alright man. I figured as much once it all happened."
"Then I'd better get ready...talk to you later then, alright?"
"Right..." Russel's voice sounded...different. Tired? Almost...Actually, he sounded a little sad. 2D went out of the living room, and when he passed by the hallway, Murdoc slid back into the bathroom to hide. He walked back out and raised an eyebrow.
Quickly, the bassist walked out to the living room and faced Russel. "What were you two talking about?" he asked.
"You were listening in? Really?" Russel sighed in annoyance.
"Yep. Now, uh...what was that?"
Russel rolled his eyes and stayed quiet. Finally, Murdoc gave up and stomped out of the living room. He hurried all the way back to the car park to find 2D. By the time he reached the park, he found 2D's door wide open. He knew the younger man wouldn't want Murdoc to walk straight into his room, but his curiosity got the best of him.
"2D? What's going o-" As he stepped in the doorway, he found 2D on his knees by the foot of his bed. 2D was shoving handfuls of clothes carelessly into a luggage with a frown. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Packing," 2D said quietly as he stuffed a shirt into the front. Murdoc was already shocked enough that the other had bothered to answer him. The answer just made it so much worse.
"You going somewhere?" the satanist leaned against the doorway.
"Mhm." 2D began trying to zip up the luggage, pressing down on the clothes as he did so. Murdoc went to ask where, but when he opened his mouth he found it was harder to come up with the right words.
"Um...where?" He watched as the singer closed his eyes and took a deep breath before answering.
"Back to my dad's."
"What?!" Murdoc exclaimed instantly.
"You heard me Murdoc," 2D turned to the man and narrowed his eyes. "I don't want to be a part of your band. I don't want to be around you anymore. I quit."
"Quit!? You can't quit, you're the singer!"
"Not anymore. Not for you, not ever!" 2D raised his voice only slightly as he finally zipped the large case up. He reached behind him and snatched his keyboard, still missing a few of it's keys, and yanked it over on top of his luggage. Murdoc winced slightly when he could see even though he "ruined" the keyboard, and 2D had broken it, he still loved it enough to keep it.
"2D just calm down, alright? Right, think about what you're doing! You can't quit this band, 2D! You don't know what you're saying!"
"Oh right, I don't!" 2D chuckled bleakly. "Because you're the only one who knows what he's doing, right? You have everything sorted out. That's why you treat us like crap, that's why you beat me up, and that's why you slept with my girlfriend."
"You're sounding just like her," Murdoc growled. 2D gasped and stared up at Murdoc with a pathetically hurt expression. "Right, no! I meant...shit," he muttered a few curses under his breath.
"You're just awful!" He said loudly and stood up. "I know what I'm doing, I'm getting far away from you!"
"Alright alright," Murdoc took a breath in and looked back at the blue haired man. "Let's just calm down, yeah? I don't wanna fight."
"That's a shock," replied 2D. Murdoc bit his tongue to hold back a snarky response.
"I'm not gonna fight you 2D. You wanna know something? I am the only one who knows what he's doing. Because I fucking helped you out and you're too dumb to understand it. So dumb, in fact, you're packing your bags to get away from me..."
"Stop it!" 2D stomped his foot and pouted like a child. "There's no excuse for what you did, alright? Save it!"
"There was and it was a good one," nodded Murdoc. Suddenly, 2D screamed out of frustration. It was without warning, too, and nearly shattered Murdoc's eardrums. It probably would've if Murdoc hadn't covered his ears in enough time.
"Why are you doing this?!" 2D yelled with a sore throught.
Murdoc stayed silent and just stared at him blankly. "Now you're just gonna stay silent?! You're unbelievable!" 2D coughed and tried to stop his shaking.
Without saying a single word, Murdoc reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He took one for himself, and slid the pack across the floor over to 2D. The singer looked down at it and back at Murdoc, who only raised an eyebrow at him. "Thanks," he muttered weakly as he picked up the pack. Murdoc nodded and slid over a lighter after he already used it.
"You looked like you needed it..."
"N-Not in here, I still have to be in here to pack," He walked past Murdoc out to the carpark and leaned against the wall. The cigarette was now calming his nerves, which he was very thankful for. Murdoc followed his lead and sat ont he floor with one leg up to his body and one stretched out.
They both were silent unwillingly. Murdoc wanted to find the right words to say to 2D, to change his mind or convince him he's right, but he knew anything he'd say would be used against him. And 2D wanted to tell Murdoc off, but knew the other wouldn't really listen to him. Instead, he just decided to bring up the topic on both of their minds.
"What the hell were you talking about in there? Knowing everything..."
"You don't know what I know, Stu..." Murdoc took a long breath in of the cigarette.
"Don't call me that like we're close, we're anything but close now..." 2D sighed.
"Were we ever?"
They both froze for a second. "I...I don't know, were we?" Asked 2D. "Seemed like it...for a while."
"For a short while. Admit it, you've hated me for a long time..."
"There you go again, thinking you know everything," 2D was getting close to the end of the cigarette. He finally turned to face Murdoc. "I never really hated you. But as of late, you make it so hard not to."
More than anything, Murdoc wanted to agree.
"Paula was a bitch, you know."
2D growled in angst and snapped the cigarette in his fingers.
"I mean it...she was using you. She didn't want you, 2D."
"Why would you even say that?" Asked 2D loudly. "She was my girlfriend and she loved me and I loved her, you fucked it up! You!"
"You act like I raped her or something! She could've stopped that at any time you know! Why would she have agreed to that if she loved you so much!?"
2D tossed the cigarette on the floor and stomped it roughly. "I don't know!"
"Calm the fuck down, Stu!" Murdoc sighed. "Look, I'm trying to tell you the truth. Will you just listen?"
"But it isn't the truth!"
"I'm a sick fucking bastard, you hear me?" Murdoc said. The singer turned to him in surprise, not expecting to hear Murdoc say a single word bad about himself. Murdoc, the most vain person he'd ever met.
"U-Um..."
"I'm a sick bastard who uses girls up like cigarettes and tosses them aside! I've sold my soul to Satan, damnit! I've stolen, I've lied, I've treated people like dirt! But I formed a band with you and Russel. I bought out this place for us to live, I never did that with the other blokes in all those other bands!"
2D frowned and tried to come up with a sentece, but Murdoc continued on.
"Why would I purposely get on the bad side of people I've made the decision to get close to? Why would I try to get them to hate me right away? And I may use up girls, 2D, but I wouldn't have used Paula if I didn't have a reason!"
Their eyes met again. Murdoc looked...genuinely serious. A bit upset, albiet, but serious. And it was obvious to 2D, which shocked him. He wasn't sure what to think anymore. He couldn't just believe the man he'd been yelling at all this time, and he needed more proof.
Murdoc was silent after that, having nothing else to say. 2D couldn't find the right words either. How do you respond to that? His entire mind was jumbled.
The bassist felt compelled to lighten the mood and attempt to help 2D. "So...that keyboard, is it broken?"
"Not completely..." muttered 2D. "I mean...I could still play a song or two without those keys..."
"Show me?" asked Murdoc.
2D stared forward for a second before standing up with a heavy sigh. He walked back into his bedroom and came out with the keyboard. He sat down back in his original spot and turned on the keyboard, then began to play slowly.
Murdoc closed his eyes and listened to the music. It was soft and slow, very mellow sounding and relaxing. Then 2D began to sing along with the slow tune. His voice came out very rich and sweet. The bassist couldn't help but grin and he tried to turn his head and hide it.
Any uncomfort between the two men fell away as 2D's voice filled the car park. It felt almost welcoming again, and 2D didn't feel that pain and pressure of stress holding onto him. He felt the relief he desperately needed after all these days. The way music always helped him before.
The song slowly ended, 2D holding every last note. Murdoc hummed happily and quietly. "That was amazing, mate..."
"You really think so?" said the singer quietly.
"That's why you're our singer..." Murdoc stated hopefully. "You're the best voice I've heard in such a long time. Your heart and soul are in the lyrics, Stu..."
"Right...thank you," 2D replied with a shy smile. The first smile he'd cracked in quite some time.
"Here, I don't need the rest, I've got more," Murdoc reached back into his pocket and tossed 2D the rest of the cigarettes. "In case you start feeling jittery again..."
"I don't need them right now, I need to finish," 2D shoved the cigarettes into his back pocket and stood up to face the door.
"Finish?" Murdoc frowned.
"Packing...I still quit, Murdoc..."
"Stu..." Murdoc frowned and stood up as well. "You don't believe me?"
"I don't know right now, ok? But I already started so..."
"I'm telling the truth! If I hadn't done what I did, she would've ruined your life!"
"Why don't you tell me before I leave?" asked 2D quietly. "I'll listen then. It won't matter then, alright?"
Murdoc stepped towards the other in hopes that 2D would see his pained expression. The blue haired man thought about recoiling away, but could only stay put. He watched Murdoc come closer, their faces growing mere inches apart. Every time he thought Murdoc would stop, he got even closer.
Slowly...slowly...
"M-Murdoc..."
And then he couldn't get any closer. Their noses brushed lightly on each other and their lips met once again. It didn't feel strange this time or forced, and 2D wasn't quick to pull away. Murdoc's lips pushed slighly harder against the other soft ones, hoping perhaps 2D would try to participate this time.
2D wanted so badly to kiss back, but didn't want to seem weak or needy to Murdoc. When Murdoc gently reached up and cupped his face, 2D couldn't help but make a small whimper. Murdoc brushed a thumb over his cheek and deepened the kiss.
The blue haired man pulled away very hesitantly and quietly whispered, "N-No..Murdoc-" but he was silenced by the older man's lips again. There was nothing dirty to the kiss at all like the first to times, it was a genuinely sweet gesture. Murdoc wasn't used to it at all, wasn't sure how to show his true emotions through a kiss that he knew wouldn't lead to a night in bed. By this time, 2D had given up any struggle he had. Kissing Murdoc just felt so right, as horrible as it sounded.
Knowing himself, Murdoc pulled off of the younger man. A second longer and he would've wanted more.
"Murdoc..." sighed 2D.
"Yeah?..."
"Stop trying to change my mind, alright? It's not working."
"It sure felt like it did..." Murdoc brought his face back just as close until he could feel 2D's breath lightly on his cheek. 2D bit his lower lip with the few teeth he had and gently slid away from Murdoc. Too embarassed to say another word, he silently went back to his room and shut the door.
