He knew he was panicking, but that was only because it didn't make any sense. And then John had to go and talk and talk and none of it mattered because he was wrong. Except when Sherlock told him, it came out wrong, and John noticed that something was wrong, very very wrong. That's when he looked at him with that face of his, that expression he never wanted to see again.
Don't give me your fucking pity, Sherlock wanted to say, because it was all spelled out on John's face in a language he was fast becoming fluent. He'd seen it before, but directed at others, patients, family members of victims, Mrs Hudson after she'd been attacked. But Sherlock had never seen it directed at him before. He'd never seen John look at him before with such pity.
And he never wanted to again.
