CHAPTER 6:
We Are Home
I awoke to the delightful sound of classical music in the air that mixed in with chirps from unknown wildlife nearby and lazily stretched over my blanket like a cat as I smacked my lips together to yawn softly. Curious to the sound because the only gizmo that produced it was mine, I opened my eyes but sunlight painfully struck them as my sleeping position had shifted during the night to face the entrance.
"Damn!"
I instantly covered my eyes with my hands to blink away the painful red blotches obscuring my vision and cynically grumbled under my breath, "Next time, don't face the sunrise."
With a yawn of renewed energy, I rubbed my stinging eyes as I sat up lazily with aching legs that were an unwanted souvenir from yesterday's hike. Testing my poor abused eyesight, I found our party eating the morning meal before a fire in the center of the field. I was both relieved that I didn't have to cook again but less than hopeful that there was any food left. Men, and hunters no less, had a tendency for not easily appeased appetites. Oh well, I could scavenge for berries or something to give me a boost of energy. . .unless they were poison because then I'd be in a lot of unwanted trouble. Standing up, I stretched every muscle that would've made a yogi happy and walked over to greet them with a friendly smile, "I See you."
"Eat up, mama bear" Jake greeted cheerfully with a grin and threw me a red fruit that I caught clumsily before it hit the warrior next to me. Imaz, as always, gave me an innocent smile full of friendliness as he avoided the fruit projectile and ate a piece of cut bread from a brown loaf while a spongy yellow square that strangely reminded me of freshly curded cheese rested in crumbled pieces on a leaf plate. My mouth practically watered at it. I sat next to him since he ranked as my favorite hunter so far, apart from Jake, and he lent me his hunting knife to cut into the fruit as I gave him a gracious thank you.
I sliced into the soft waxy skin as Jake munched on a piece of fruit similar to mine and he wiped away juice from his mouth before joking idly, "We were thinking of stuffing food in your mouth to see if it woke you but Norm backed out."
"Ha ha, try that and you'll wake up to a wasp nest" I threatened sarcastically with a witty grin to an imaginative wasp bitten Jake but his ears flattened against his shaved head immediately. He tried to pull off a Na'vi version of the glittering puppy eye look but I was immune unless it came from a small toddler. Like the saying went 'the older you get, the cuter you ain't'. I rolled my eyes with a small unconvinced shake of my head to lecture simply, "Don't even try it, buster. Just because you have the body of a young man, it doesn't let you off the hook."
I gave him a haughty but thoughtful glance and mumbled out, "Hmm, maybe Neytiri didn't smack out all of the child in you."
"Okay, I get it- Joanna awesome, Jake moron" he laughed lightly as he gave Imaz another piece of the spongy stuff and then offered the same to Atuk but the hunter declined politely. Jake's smile only widened a second later as that mischievous glint returned to his eyes in a private joke that only he himself knew and he stated giddily, "I can't wait to pick your teacher."
"I want Neytiri because she's tougher than you" I tried to sound serious but failed a second later at his amused glance and tried not to spit out fruit pieces as I muffled a laugh. He gave a shake of his head and I hoped in all fairness in the universe that I wouldn't be saddled with a dreaded taskmaster of an instructor. Or worse, Tsu'tey himself since Jake made it no secret he wanted the two of us joined at the hip. Frankly, I was lost to why he wanted that but this was Jake, half the stuff he did wasn't logical. I licked the droplets of juice trailing down my fingers but managed to admonish him with muffled words, "Jake, I swear you better not pick-"
Earth music faintly filled the area and my ears perked up instantly to the familiar music I'd heard as I woke and tried to peek over the men's heads as I asked curiously, "Who has my radio?"
"Tsu'tey wanted to borrow it and I said okay since you were asleep" Norm answered my inquiry with a smile as he ate his breakfast of fruit and baked flour chips. My teeth stopped nibbling on the skinless fruit and I closed my eyes at the disastrous outcomes because an equation of Tsu'tey + Radio= madness.
Oh god, not the radio, I thought worriedly from last night's conversation and hoped the innocent gizmo wouldn't be crushed under a direhorse's hoof. I wouldn't put it past Tsu'tey's character to be sadistic with human paraphernalia; it had no chance of defending itself. His form paced before the entrance with a stiff posture that exerted authority in each step, humorously reminding me of a body guard or protective canine. After what happened to the old Hometree, I was certain he would protect this one fiercely.
I quickly wolfed down my fruit until it was nothing but droplets of reddish liquid and a single medium seed. Placing it on an empty leaf plate, I hopped onto my feet to zone in and target Tsu'tey in my sight. The warrior fiddled with the touch-tone buttons on my radio and my feet scurried over to him as I tried to keep a nonchalant expression on my face. The balls of my feet dug into the soft dirt as he turned sharply in my direction and I gave him a friendly smile to show I meant no malcontent or ill will.
"I See you, Tsu'tey" I greeted with a high pitch in my voice, betraying my nervousness instantly over the helpless radio in his hands. I never said I was a good actress. He gave me a sidelong glance in acknowledgement and I pointed to the silver object with a plastered smile to inform gently, "You have my radio there."
"Why is it making noise?" he asked with an annoyed frown on his lips as he studied it between his hands, rotating it at all angles as his fingertips tapped plastic for a visible reaction. Honestly, he reminded me of a curious toddler that could throw a tantrum at any second if he didn't get his way.
"That's what it does, it has music electronically embedded inside and plays it to the listener" I explained as simply as I could and saw his brow furrow thoughtfully as he clicked on the control buttons. Tracks began to skip forwards and his ears perked up at the new reaction and he continued to tap the forwarding button while I withheld a mournful groan at the abuse. Tsu'tey was not the gentlest man with the unknown. Desperately, I held out my hand and motioned for him to hand it over as I asked carefully, "May I have it back?"
My hands were more than ready to retrieve the radio and he seemed to lose interest because he lacked the knowledge to use it. I was happy at my victory but before he could hand it over, a multitude of overlapping voices interrupted us at the entrance. No, not now! His ears perked up to the growing noise and his loud voice made me cringe when called over to Jake, "They are here!"
Tsu'tey left through the entrance to meet Neytiri's party, leaving me behind in the dust without a single glance back, and I groaned mentally at being discarded for not being worthy of his time. I saw him place my radio into the satchel on his side, my eyes watching in dismay as it slapped against his hip and left my vicinity.
Great, how was I going to retrieve it now?
"Ow."
"Ow."
"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow!"
"Joanna, stop whining" Cheryl admonished me like a mother hen as we sat together in a circle of Na'vi women from the ages of adolescence to the elderly that were creating hammocks with textiles saved from the old Hometree and threads they processed by hand back at the Tree of Souls from the Beanstalk plants that grew it. Of course, they only took a small amount to prevent setting off the natural balance in their ecosystem so families would have to share a hammock, single unmated females could find others willing to share, and males would sleep on the lower level platforms for security measures until everyone had their hammock. Other females here with us were creating new pieces of attire from crafted cloth they managed to weave back at the Tree of Souls since everyone had recuperated and now, the time had come to renew every day chores.
It was surreal to begin life in another place but their new territory would bring brand new opportunities. This would be my new life and it was exuberantly exciting but this was my viewpoint on the matter, I couldn't speak for anybody else. What did the Omaticaya think? Elders that had lived and grown to maturity in the old? Hunters that were used to every path and track for access to Hometree? Children that had secret hiding spots during game time? What were their opinions? Before I had been assigned to hammock making duty, I wanted to ask Tsu'tey or one of the hunter twins for their outlook but I could find neither. They were incredibly busy with building the pa'li stables and archery fields which I assumed would be tough enough for wear since I had no idea on the basics of carpentry.
Cheryl was picking up the skill of sewing marvelously (apparently her family enjoyed the hobby so lucky her) so it was practically second nature to her while I was having the total opposite in the form of disaster. I lost count how many times I had to restart my weaving because it wasn't even or the threads weren't the same size or they were the same size and couldn't be as such to the point I postponed the whole thing. Thankfully, Cheryl became my life saver and offered to share hers with me when it was finished (it would be a while) and I accepted gratefully, almost hugging her if it weren't for the social norm that the Na'vi not show that much physical contact.
My first choice for contributing to the clan with my lack of status had been to plant a garden similar to the one in the compound to help provide fruit and vegetables in the nearby fields but Tsu'tey had pulled me away as he ordered the women to keep me here inside Hometree. He believed I would be a catastrophe if left to my own devices while I smoldered angrily at why he thought he could rule my daily happenings. He wasn't my father or my husband and after I snapped that at him, the women led me away while lecturing me about speaking like that to a man of his stature but their giggling lightened the situation. Apparently, not many stood up to the peevish Prolemuris and women were the least in those statistics. Seriously, someone needed to tell the hunter to take a chill pill or at least take out that arrow lodged inside his butt. Knowing him, he'd probably hunt down a poor animal to take out the frustration on.
"I'm not whining, the needle is literally piercing my skin- look at all my bleeding dots!" I exclaimed by showing her the index finger of my left hand that looked more like a colander. Since figuring out hammock making wasn't in my blood, I had decided to make the children some clothes but I kept stabbing myself more than the fabric itself. Giving children clothing with bloody blotches was not a comforting thought. That and Tsu'tey would be the first to crush me under his foot for disturbing the peace since he had zeroed in on me to be on my best behavior.
"No one is telling you to do this fast, take your time" she advised gently to my outburst as I nursed my finger with my tongue and the other women chuckled sympathetically from their spots. Easy for her to say, I was failing at astronomical proportions. I'd probably finish a simple loincloth in a month and be an old woman by the time I finished the perfect hammock. I grumbled a noncommittal response and returned to fiddling with the needle, which derived from plants that grew nonpoisonous needles or thorns and were pulled by the Na'vi to be used as sharp sewing needles. Larger needles that were used for embroidery or weaving came from thin but sturdy animal bones while the clan's loom (the new one was being created now) did the rest.
Thirty minutes later, I gave up creating a half decent loincloth that appeared to be more of a child's bib and set everything down on my lap. It was a good attempt and I really didn't like giving up on anything but my fingers needed to be spared. Tiredly, I told her grumpily, "No more, Cheryl."
She sighed to my quitting (her patience was tremendous compared to mine) and suggested, "Go help with food preparation. That one's pretty easy even a kid can-"
"I can take the hint, Cheryl" I broke in tartly to being deemed a child in skills and handed my sewing items to a young mother next to me who smiled at me. The women here were so nice or maybe they just pitied me. . .whatever, it was still nice. I stuffed the mutated loincloth into the left pocket of my shorts to avoid being laughed at further and sighed hopelessly, "I'm sure you'll finish faster without my hindrance."
So here I was on another tiny adventure for redemption as my eyes took in every separate group working on their own contributions for the clans. Children were creating jewelry accessories with the girls crafting necklaces and the boys making armbands. Adolescents were dying fabrics and hanging the finished products outside over slabs of rock to dry. Those goods would then be handed to the group I'd left for sewing by the older women. Males who weren't building were weaving baskets intricately while others sharpened tools and weapons for their fellow clan mates. The elderly were fixing herbs (okay, now I felt feeble) but they were also grounding up seeds of Hermit Bud into flour for food. That would then be handed over to the cooks for storage and other members would help prepare the meals whether in food or fixing the natural dinnerware. Everyone had their part to do to keep the clan functioning and it was frowned upon if you skipped out on it (with the exception of illness or childbirth).
I found Mo'at inside one of the deeper alcoves directing a group of young girls on how to coat the inside of what looked like an animal's organ with a thick and sticky orange substance. Oh! Lanterns! They needed to be sewed afterwards but two holes would be left to allow an entrance for the fireflies and the second to recoat the lantern by hand to keep the little critters returning for yum yum goodness. Maybe I could. . .no, I sucked at sewing. I needed carefully guided training to achieve decent stitching.
I gave a soft cough to alert them of my presence and greeted the matriarch respectfully first before requesting politely, "Are there any other tasks you need help in? Preferably for one like me who lacks any experience, I won't mind doing child's work. Children are easier to talk to than adults, you make mistakes and they laugh with you, not at you."
Mo'at gave me a once over that had me standing like a military private but a second later, she gave me an amused smile, "Am I right to assume sewing clothes did not go well?"
I showed her my needle stabbed hands and sighed pathetically to regretfully admit, "Not so well but it doesn't mean I'm giving up on finding another task."
"I am glad to hear that" Mo'at spoke with an impressed smile and beckoned for me with a simple lift of her hand as she told the young girls to begin their work inside (being outside would draw unwanted bugs instead of the good ones). All I could see were little bobbing heads of raven exiting the alcove in giggles and I couldn't help but smile at their innocent giddiness to help. I remained silent to convey politeness to the matriarch as I saw her fiddle with a few things from behind and heard her speak up with a soft tone, "It is normal to feel disappointed as you acquaint yourself with new tasks but you are learning our ways, young Joanna. Nobody expects you to succeed in every task within a day, no less than an ikran can learn to fly soon after birth. Learning is a natural process, full of both achievements and failures, so keep that optimism."
I nodded hastily to the uplifting words, even if she couldn't see me, and thanked her for the advice, "Yes, Tsahìk."
She's right, learning an entire culture from the ground up is hard but as a female, our position over males are higher and thus, more will be expected of me, I thought with both comfort and solemnity as I wringed my fingers over the bottom edges of my blouse. I will need to learn every single aspect of the Na'vi while simultaneously learning to hunt. Not an easy feat.
Ruminations aside, I blinked out of my reverie as Mo'at walked up to me with two large baskets weaved of thick dark twine and tucked neatly underneath her arm. My eyes spotted three assortment of herbs in one basket as a thick lime green stem wrapped around each bundle like a bouquet and the other held clay urns that were empty. Oh, she wanted me to-
"Pluck all of the leaves of the first and leave them in the basket to dry in the storage area" Mo'at instructed carefully as I studied each plant, following her fingertips as she directed what I had to do and with which. Surprisingly, I found myself excited at the simple task and prayed to Eywa that I wouldn't screw this one up. This one was practically children's work!
"You will place the second herbs in the urn and seal them in tightly to preserve freshness. It should give you three urns in all. The third, you will cut each stalk in half and return them to me so I can preserve them for distribution among the clan members. Once you have finished, bring everything to me and I will give you the next task."
She handed the materials and herbs over to me, her stoic gaze meeting my apprehensive one as I tried to balance everything and she assured simply, "You will do fine, Joanna. But if you have any questions, I will be here overseeing each group."
"Wonderful" I thanked in gratitude and smiled gladly for the matriarch's help (and for not making me feel childish like Tsu'tey constantly did) and hauled my baskets full of goodies outside to spend some time in the open sun. The base of the Hometree was comfy with soothing shade but I was more of an outdoors type of gal so out I went to scope out a good area. With the sun beaming down on my skin in comforting tingles (could Eywa prevent skin cancer here?), I breathed in a lungful of dewy fresh morning air as the forest greeted me and went on my way towards the clearings.
Hammock making was not in my blood but herbs totally were!
I smiled proudly at myself for being good at this task but like Cheryl said, just about anyone could do it. Still, it made me feel naively special. The leaves I tore off the flimsy braches engulfed the nearby air with its sweet minty smell that added to the therapeutic mood of my delightful chore and I resisted from eating one in case it was used medicinally rather than mixed with food. There was a lot to learn when it came to Na'vi cuisine and I had to be careful not to nibble on something I wasn't supposed to. The first urn, although large in size, filled up pretty quickly since Mo'at gave me a hefty batch and I wondered how they made them in the first place. Was an equivalent to clay found on Pandora? There was another group within the base of Hometree working on pottery itself but I decided to stick to this before I put all my eggs in one basket.
While I snapped off leaves, my eyes wandered briefly to the direhorse stables which were coming along pretty well as the hunters knew precisely what was needed and how to achieve it. The structural outline for each stable had already been set up between yesterday and this morning so all the men had to do was finish each wall and the roof (for use in the rainy season) since the Na'vi were more into letting their animals roam in free range within safe distance of Hometree. Right now, the flowers kept them happy and occupied as they lapped up the thick nectar within flowers in a fashion similar to anteaters. Direhorses were plain adorable. Pandora excited me with every little thing, whether visually or by sound or even this chore, but I had to remind myself once or twice that this wasn't a vacation but regular life.
My curiosity got the better of me again, I shamefully admit, and I kept sniffing the leaves repeatedly for their peppermint aroma before dumping them inside the urn. What I didn't know about this particular plant was that the leaves left a dark green dye behind and since my hands were covered in leaves, I took no notice of it until I heard a familiar short but mocking laugh in front of me. It could only be the overgrown Prolemuris.
My eyes gazed upwards to see Tsu'tey lowering a batch of oval cut wood onto the dusty ground as he wiped away a clear layer of perspiration from his striped forehead and shifted his weight onto his right leg. I'm sure the Na'vi females nearby were probably dropping like swooning flies at the image (I heard a giggle or two around me) but I ignored whatever tantalizing Na'vi sex god Tsu'tey was supposed to represent by demanding, "What are you laughing at?"
"Your nose is green" he laughed matter-of-factly at what I obviously wasn't seeing and walked over to my little boulder with that confident gait of his that always made me feel smaller. I averted my gaze to the ground because I didn't want him seeing my messy face and also as a woman, I grew uncomfortable at the close distance with those rippling muscles that could break me if he willed it. That, and I also didn't want people assuming we were anything more than acquaintances (the last thing I needed were Tsu'tey's admirers giving me the third degree). Apparently, since he was back on the dating market, he was the 1 bachelor. Frankly, I didn't see it- the twins had more charisma than he!
His hand opened the handy satchel attached to his narrow waist and he handed me a pocket mirror- which was the object he was taking from me today- and I frowned slightly because I'd barely had time to look at my face in the morning before he swiped it without so much as a warning. He flashed me that damn devilish trademark smirk of his at my hesitance to see myself in case he was joking at my expense and insisted curtly, "Go ahead and look."
I listened with wariness biting continually at me, eyeing him closely for any last minute mischief but he simply snorted at me. I could just feel the friendly genuine concern dripping off him. . .not. My eyes widened in horror the second I glanced into the purse mirror and saw the green blotch that was now my nose. Even the area above the cupid bow of my lips was stained! I proceeded to wipe it off with my hands but he grabbed them quickly at the wrists, scolding sharply as his canines bared at me, "Skxawng. You will only smear the coloring further!"
"How do I get it off?" I blurted quickly with anxiousness as I hoped it wasn't permanent for life and hid my nose from the people nearby to avoid any embarrassing scenes. My stomach knotted with dread by the passing seconds as my eyes remained glued to that horrible blotch in the mirror (why did I have to be curious about everything?) and I decided whether to bolt down to the nearest pool or finish my task. He laughed aloud to my sad misfortune with a timber that carried over the field to practically alert everyone and I kicked his shin with the heel of my foot to pent out my frustrations at him, "Tsu'tey!"
"Wash it off, you are lucky it is not a semi-permanent dye" he explained with mockery lining his voice as he avoided another swift kick of my foot with his reflexes. Damn it. Why was he perfect at everything? It wasn't fair! I glared at him heatedly and would have gladly smeared my hands over his face to have him share my mortification if not for the fact he was sweating and it would ruin my work.
"Thank you, now go away" I stated stiffly for his input of knowledge and returned to my task as if the large blot wasn't on my face. Since it wasn't permanent, I'd wash it off after I finished with everything to avoid any repetition of the same because I simply wasn't vain over my appearance. Tsu'tey, however, audaciously invited himself to my spot and I avoided meeting his gaze, choosing to peek every once in a while past his shoulder because I knew he would smirk at me in superiority every chance he got. So there I sat, plucking leaves and staring at his adorned feet which gave me another question regarding their accessories and how they were made. I'd have to ask one of the women later.
His eyes lit up at the second basket next to me that was full of thin but long stemmed herbs with bushy leaves and he grabbed a stem to chew on the end of it. I nudged his foot with the front tip of my black boot and lightly reprimanded him like a mother, "These are for Mo'at, not you. Be a good boy and go forage for your own."
He scoffed a 'cheh' at my words to disregard them, breaking the stem in half before holding out the other piece to me. Was he being, dare I say, friendly? My left brow raised to the generous offer as I stared at him skeptically for his reasoning but threw caution aside the next second. After all, Tsu'tey had been kind enough to tell me about my problematic face instead of letting me find out for myself in a more embarrassing setting. He waved the plant through the air, catching my attention, and he brought up casually, "Remember the plant I told you that is good for your teeth?"
"This is the one?" I asked hesitantly but eager curiosity leaked into my tone and he nodded once before biting into his plant like a toddler with his lollipop. I copied his movements and placed it in my mouth to chew the broken end with my teeth and found it to have a sour center in its stem that definitely livened the taste buds in my mouth. My canines bit into the medium sized leaves hanging off the thin branches and I gave a surprised yip to the strong taste that seemed to resemble a mix between pepper and cinnamon. Note to self, don't chew the whole leaf immediately. Spiciness was better than sweetness in foods in my palate and I grinned enthusiastically, "It's good."
He broke into laughter again the second his eyes landed on my face and I restrained from hiding my face from sight, opting to nip the whole thing in the bud by snapping sarcastically, "Okay, it's not that funny. I get it, big green spot on my face. Ha ha, you saw it, now shut up. Be polite and answer my questions without laughing in my face. Got it, Prolemuris?"
"You are like a curious but cocky child, you know nothing but want it all" he commented dryly as his brows furrowed in annoyance to my name-calling (I just couldn't help it!) but I was undeterred by his taunts, giving him a bland stoic stare. Only Tsu'tey could make insults so verbally creative. . .jerk.
"I've only read about your culture, I never got to experience anything firsthand since relations between you and the Sky People soured by the time I arrived" I pointed out matter-of-factly to correct him with a history lesson. He crossed his arms over his sculpted chest to stiffen his posture in the classic cold shoulder maneuver with squared shoulders, thinned lips, defiant chin turned sideways. . .it was almost comical if he weren't dangerous. I gave him a sly Cheshire grin as he tried to appear reserved but I didn't buy it for a second (he was Tsu'tey, after all) and nonchalantly stated, "I bet you failed in all of Dr. Augustine's classes."
"I know English, don't I?" he retorted defensively with distaste pouring from his words as he tried to prove me wrong. Wow, he really hated speaking our language, didn't he? I almost grinned to his pushy manner of getting the right of way on everything and rolled my eyes when he stated proudly, "My intellect far surpasses yours."
"In this setting, but if you traveled away from your world, you'd be a lost baby while I would be your better" I laughed maniacally at the idea of the Na'vi eyeing everything in sight speculatively while keeping close like a frightened puppy. Oh, how the mighty would fall.
He grinned in a manner that told me he was about to win our debate without question and pointed out haughtily to clinch it, "But you are here where I am superior."
"For now but ranking changes" I murmured idly with a sly smirk, chewing on my little sprig as I kept the smile on my face that reminded me of the old dueling cowboy expression. . .except I looked more like a housewife right now. Changing the subject for both our sakes, I piped up cheerfully, "So, what are you working on?"
"Archery fields" he answered simply but I could hear the demeanor change in his voice (he just abhorred challengers to his intelligence, didn't he?) and pointed to a row of trees that faced opposite of the stable in the clearing we occupied. His white teeth glinted against the sunlight and I resisted the idea of imagining him as a poster boy for whitening products with the quote 'Omaticaya Sprigs, staying green while keeping your mouth clean' or 'Take a bite to keep your teeth white'. He gave me an awkward stare when I muffled a snicker behind clenched teeth but continued explaining anyways, "Eywa has provided perfect alignment for targets which will cut down further building efforts of that field. All I have to do is set up the wooden targets over the bark and the pa'li will be led to the another field for grazing while training takes place. Students will learn to shoot their arrows while others train with pa'li."
"All thanks to my genius" I breathed airily with a snooty upturned nose but laughed aloud seconds later because I could never act in such pompous ways. It wasn't me. I may be brutally honest and realistic but my words never held soul crushing bites for egotistical benefits. Tsu'tey frowned but I eased his premature conceptions of my words by admitting amusingly, "I'm kidding, the credit goes to you alone. You picked a great Kelutral, Tsu'tey, and I'm sure the training fields will be perfect."
He tilted his head to await a snarky remark from me but I merely smiled genially at him, resuming my workload with the herbs while I chewed away at my stem but the sour taste was fading. Without glancing up, I snapped off the next row of leaves and pointed out casually, "I just wanted to say something kind that wouldn't have you yelling my head off again. Going before the Eye of Eywa soon isn't exactly a therapeutic thought."
"When?" he asked curiously, ears perking upwards with the lighter timbre in his voice and I chewed on the end of my stem nervously. Seconds later, he leaned forwards to bat my hands in warning and I noticed that I was absentmindedly going to rub my nose again to ward off the minty smell. My shoulders slumped at that obvious mistake because I didn't want my face looking like a Halloween horror and mumbled a halfhearted thanks before he tried to give a long speech on all my faults.
"I don't know, Jake is taking the last group soon to finish the soul exchange since everyone will finish arriving here by sunset" I spoke uncertainly since Jake was the boss on all this while I was kept in the dark and shrugged my shoulders in an effort to ward off the knots trying to form in my stomach. Honestly, I didn't want to think about what could happen because death was not a topic anyone took kindly, especially when it concerned themselves. The five steps of grief over accepting death hadn't prickled at my brain either but I was sure a mini meltdown would be inevitable. I just hoped I didn't make an idiot of myself and embarrass the entire clan. I'm sure Tsu'tey wouldn't let me live it down if I decided to bail at the last second or accidentally fell of the tree bed onto the crowd below.
As usual, my brain decided to scotch guard my mental dilemma and I piped up perkily, "I will be riding as a passenger on a banshee today. Don't know whose but I'm sure the experience will be wonderful."
My brows practically shot straight up into my hairline as I brought up a farfetched but nonetheless possible suggestion, "Hey, will you take me-"
"No, the last thing I want is to be choked to death in midair by a squeamish girl" he rebuffed instantly and took the thin stem from his mouth to wave the end of it with the leaves all over my face as if washing the idea away. I exclaimed at both the insult and shoddy attack, grasping the end of the plant with my fingers and pulling it right out of his grip. His face contorted into a scowl as his little treat was taken away and I grinned triumphantly.
"That's what you get for being cocky" I scolded without a hint of regret for my actions and he fisted his hands as I swished my tail happily from behind. Later on, I would wonder what caused me to behave so daringly around him and why I secretly enjoyed seeing every frown and growl from this man of a thousand faces. But for now, I'll deadpan because he easily nabbed another stem from the bushel next to me with reflexes much quicker than mine.
That trademark smirk spread across his lips and he jeered, "That's what you get for underestimating me."
"Touché, Tsu'tey" I commented with reluctant defeat yet again for every successful comeback he made against me. When would it be my turn to win? I hurled his used stem because I wasn't about to swap his spit with mine and I gawked in blatant shock when he caught it neatly in one hand. Seriously? What was he? Superman? I was like Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars to his Batman from DC comics. Yeah, that bad.
I pouted in effect to his perfect reflexes and really hoped I'd get a tremendous teacher that could teach me that. . .and everything else Tsu'tey had so I could match him in skill one day. It would probably be a loooong time from now but still. Eywa decided to throw me a freebie in her strange cosmic ways because the next words out of his mouth weren't filled with sarcasm or disdain.
"Eywa will make the right choice, you must be pure of heart with unyielding determination to be one of The People" he advised me with a firm glance and I managed to give a small appreciative smile. Our bridge towards friendship wasn't perfect but it was far better than when we first met, I'd give Eywa that for her craftiness. He was still rude and rough around the edges but he took an effort to be kind and kindness was a strong virtue. With polite dip of his head, I watched him leave towards his little pile of wood with a friendly smile and returned to my leaf picking before he leaned down and mooned me with his loincloth clad butt. I wasn't that close on friendly terms with him.
"Make sure to clean your face before the ceremony, dirty child."
"Tsu'tey!"
Was this what I'd become?
A discarded shell that I came to reside in out of obligation to keep living?
I patted my damp face dry with a peach toned washcloth after finishing a deliciously warm shower to wash away the stress that kept biting at me as the minutes ticked away to my inevitable transfer. The woman in the mirror was at least fifteen pounds lighter than it had been before I began spending every day among the Omaticaya and the physical repercussions were showing. Skin was becoming pallid from its previously healthy beige while gray eyes had lost their usual luster (though they were usually hidden behind my lashes and glasses in public) and my dark brown hair was beginning to shed more from the lack of sufficient protein in my diet. Extra vitamins weren't enough to make my body better at this point.
My fingers traveled over the visible ridges of my ribs and every movement I made showed the indentations of bones that were a classic poster for either anorexia nervosa or a fashion runway model. I was pretty disgusted by it. It arose memories of years past in my mind that I wanted to keep locked away in a vault and seeing it now wasn't making me feel better. Was discarding this body for another appropriate just because I wanted to live a better life? Shouldn't this body deserve the same respect?
The inside of my body wasn't faring better either because if I looked like this, war must've been raging from within. The lack of sufficient calcium from my food and lack of sunlight for vitamin D was causing frailty in my bones as they degenerated. My skin was ashy dry from the lack of water and decent hydration while uneven sleeping patterns were throwing off my metabolism which paved the way for minor gastrointestinal problems. Also, the lack of movement was creating the high likelihood of blood clots within my body and I was pretty sure I had a urinary infection from the lack of going potty. So yes, there were a lot of side effects from staying inside an Avatar body for as long as I tried to.
I kept telling myself that I would be all right but to be honest, I didn't know if I should be comforted in knowing I wouldn't see the same face I'd awoken to for the last twenty-eight years of my life. This was the body I was born in- well, it had been a pudgier and smaller version from the first year of life but still, I'd washed this face thousands of times. I learned how to put makeup on myself, gotten a bad haircut that had me crying crocodile tears, scabbed my knee learning to ride a bike, gotten my first kiss with it, gotten my first period with it (would my Avatar get one? Seriously?), pulled my first tooth from, learned to drive a car with, and a lot of other stuff that I couldn't discard away like nothing.
On the other side of the life awaiting me, I was learning to practically walk without being heard (Tsu'tey yanked me off a root by the tail because I was awful at hovering over him), practicing my speech to sound natural, exploring the forest to accustom myself to our new home, learning what garbs were for a female like me (Na'vi better not get periods with these loincloths), cutting food to learn to cook the right things, and I would learn how to be completely self dependent as a Na'vi just as I had been human.
Would I be able to forgive myself for giving up everything I'd been as a human and joining the Na'vi? There was so much to ponder over-
"Joanna, time to go!"
Cheryl's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I gave my reflection one last glimpse of endearment before grabbing my clothes to begin the day's event:
The celebration of my death.
"Do I really have to wear this flimsy thing?" I grumbled shyly as I doubted the adornment of forest green leaves covered all of my body and self-consciousness rolled in waves. At the moment, I would've preferred Omaticaya wear rather than this. . .I felt like the porn star version of Poison Ivy!
Norm sighed gently at my little tantrum and I blessed his sweet temperament as he carried me in his hands like a newborn kitten. I was confident that my apprehension was completely visible all over my face and heard him say, "Don't be scared, you'll be fine."
"You better be right or I'm coming back to haunt you" I mumbled dejectedly with lame sarcasm since the whole trip here hadn't lightened my mood whatsoever. Sure, the ikran ride was fun but changing into this flimsy garb when I arrived was anything but that. The Tree of Souls was less than ten feet away and I could see the empty illuminated tree bed as the next transfer was up.
Mine.
I gulped nervously as every fiber in my body tightened and sucked down my nerves into the pit of my stomach as the tree glowed brightly with every step Norm took towards it and felt an atokirina land on my bare thigh. Immediately, I felt at ease and found the only logical explanation tied in with the little woodsprite as I closed my eyes momentarily for a brief sense of peace. They were pure spirits, they would never harm anyone.
Seconds later, my eyes flew open when Norm placed me on the wooden bed without warning and I stared up like a frightened child at Mo'at's large form as she towered over me like a giant. Was she this large before? I didn't like being this tiny and instantly longed for my alien counterpart, searching the groups of Na'vi before us that remained to aid with the last transformations. The entire area glowed beautifully like something out of an ethereal fantasy tale and I found it comforting that whether I lived or died, they were willing to aid the Avatars in this endeavor because in the end, all of the Na'vi were intertwined together as one. They remained united and never scattered like humans who could leave you to your own devices if you were deemed unworthy while the Na'vi trained you with tough love until you succeeded.
Another body joined mine on the bed and I smiled in relief to see my Avatar, her face completely serene while the bioluminescent dots became dominant all over due to the feedback of the Tree of Souls. Her body was dressed in garb similar to mine as she laid on her side and I gently tucked a stray strand of black hair behind her long ear. If I lived through this, I'd give myself a nice hair cut to commemorate new life. My gaze lifted upwards to see that Tsu'tey had carried my counterpart here and I reached out to grasp the ends of his fingertips on his left hand with both of my own before he left to murmur softly, "Thank you."
I knew that touching was practically rare in public, although not tabooed, but if I had to die, I wanted to at least show a shred of gratitude for his help (gruff toned man or not) whether on correcting manners or this. His large eyes flickered down to my clingy fingers and sensing my anxiety, he reminded me calmly without a shred of sharpness, "A brave heart perseveres-"
"And cowardice goes unrewarded" I finished faintly to the constant mottos he grilled me with whenever he explained a piece of his culture, mainly when it came to hunting, but appreciated them all the same. He gave a tiny nod in my direction but I yanked on his hands again (which by now, I was sure caught the attention of Mo'at and the ringside row) and I attempted to joke nervously, "But if I die, bury me under the fan lizards?"
"Get on the bed or I will knock you unconscious myself" he ordered with the lightest of smirks touching his lips and I almost took him up on the offer if Mo'at hadn't hissed for me to do the same. Tsu'tey, I could disobey, but not the almighty matriarch.
I laid flat on my back to become comfortable against the grooves of the wooden bed and within a minute, I felt the tiniest tingles of the natural green fibers attaching onto my skin but felt nothing internally in effect. I shut my eyes in case the transfer was similar to linking up to the Avatar's body back at the station and relaxed as the back of my mind kept tingling. Mo'at began the chant to Eywa in words I couldn't follow fast enough and was soon followed by a chorus from the clan before us both as bright light engulfed the area. I wanted to see the Omaticaya's agile movements as their uniformity for this ceremony was astoundingly in sync ever since I'd seen Jake's and wished I could've seen my own.
My lips broke into a smile as the warm tingle increased but felt nothing until a sharp tug seemed to bite at the back of my skull and a swirl of colors erupted behind my eyelids before everything faded to black. . .
To be honest, I couldn't tell you if seconds, minutes, or hours passed by when I did come into consciousness but it wasn't back to the Tree of Souls. No, there was a familiar tree here but it was larger than the one I been at and last time I checked, I'd been lying down and not standing in the middle of a clearing. Beautiful green grass grew in every inch of this unknown place and could be seen for miles over the flat span of land as I glanced upwards toward the horizon to inspect it. The dewy air of sunrise greeted my nose as the sky was painted a gorgeous pastel of lilac and grayish blue and the wispy cold air of morning tickled my skin gently as I took slow paces to familiarize myself with this place. . .but I couldn't.
Where was I?
"You are where I wish you to be" a woman's voice echoed through the field and certain areas of grass faded into small rivers of water in random places. How. . .?
I could only stare at the impossibility and kneeled down to dip my fingers in the water to confirm its authenticity. Crisp, cold water. Definitely real. I tried not to flinch in fear when the voice that carried a constant sweet melody spoke up, "I control every aspect of what you see, hear, taste, and smell. You are in the Eye of Eywa, Joanna."
I didn't know whether to kneel in fear or offer humble greetings.
"Neither, you may do as you like" she stated softly without reserve and I gulped at having the goddess mind read me. Then again, she created tsaheylu in Pandora (who knows, maybe she even created the planet herself!) so I didn't know what to expect. Her voice was already eerily comfortable because I couldn't distinguish whether she was speaking Na'vi or English but my mind deciphered it fluently. She was indeed controlling my senses here in this realm.
I licked my suddenly dry lips, hoping I wouldn't get a cotton mouth, and spoke up meekly, "I always exchange pleasantries and acknowledge others to show my respect, um,-"
"You may call me Eywa or Mother."
"O-Of course, what else would you be called?" I stuttered nervously to the mind reading voice and tried to calm down before I failed the test horribly. The realization that I was before the deity of the entire Na'vi species hit me like a ton of bricks and sheepishly blurted, "You're really Her!"
The vines from the humongous tree swayed with the soft wind as light laughter echoed from that certain area and I found myself not as afraid despite this could very well be a scene straight out from a horror film. A glowing bundle of atokirina floated from above the tendrils of the tree in a beautiful sea of white radiance and in awe, I watched as they packed together tightly to create the outline of a female Na'vi. The lithe limbs practically hovered to me in their walking gait, leaving no indentations in the grass of her presence, and she held no facial features that were prominent except for two glowing eyes of pure white light. The luminescence was incredibly bright that I had to keep my own sight away at the risk of going blind.
"I feel this form would soothe your nerves" the deity spoke with an amused timbre in her voice despite there was no mouth on her face to speak from and threw out the field of science and logic on this matter. This was her world, her personal sanctuary, so I would count myself lucky for visiting it as any follower of a religion would. I stiffened when she spoke up again to question simply, "You seek acceptance among my children but are you determined to give it every last ounce of strength to accomplish it?"
"Yes, I mean, I'm trying to learn as fast as I can and- oh, I'm just rambling" I sighed embarrassedly to the quick blathering of words and twiddled my fingers as I sat cross-legged on the grass. The trickle of water passing through the field calmed me somewhat and I glanced at her glowing feet before speaking up earnestly, "I know this journey will be anything but easy but I am determined to fulfill it. Neytiri says you can see into the memories of all who seek you so look into mine, See what I've gone through from my life on Earth to the present day. I am not a quitter and will keep trying to ascertain any skill asked of me, even if it's not up to par but darn it, I'll keep trying. Look at Tsu'tey's memories, he gets angry like a banshee but I don't quit in knowing something. Or Norm's, you'll see how I try attain everything I attempt. I'm not asking to live on the planet without contributing anything in return because it'll be freeloading and I am not a person that takes without giving back. I-"
"Are you sure you are willing to let go of the past for the future?" Eywa asked softly without any sternness, reminding me of a grandmother type of mindset, and motioned to the small rivers flowing through. The water rose considerably and widened the tiny rivers into full streams until the water touched my knees. Her hand went over the water to hover over it and my eyes widened when I saw two familiar reflections staring back at me, one human and the other Na'vi. Her voice broke me out of my stupefied shock with the question, "Do you have a preference over which body would suit you best?"
I pondered the question because human bodies could not live on Pandora without breathing masks but being human brought me here. In some ironic way, if I hadn't been born human and taken up studying anthropology, I wouldn't be here. On the other hand, my Avatar body would ensure my survival and acceptance among the Na'vi until Iknimaya. There was so much excitement that filled my heart at the limitless possibilities. . .and I found my answer then and there. I tried to put it into verbal words but knew she'd understand me anyway and attempted it with a smile, "In the end, it doesn't matter on the body because who I am, the essence of my soul, is what people will See and what I want them to See."
"But you want to live among my children? Even if I choose for you to remain human?" she asked simply and the images over the water faded in an instant as her bright hand returned to her side. The idea actually filled me with dread because I wanted to join Norm and the others in their new adventure and continue what I'd started to do with the Omaticaya. If she left me as a human, how long could I keep using my Avatar without my human body wasting away? Knowing myself, I'd delve into the maximum hours possible and prematurely die because of my devotion to be one of them.
"I have read your memories, every single moment of your life from birth since the moment you entered my realm but I want to hear it from your mouth that you are worthy to pass."
"I. . .I thought you would be the one reigning over the decision?" I asked baffled to her request and she offered me her shimmering hand to take as the other was used to recede the waters of life back into tiny rivers in the field. Everything was so incredibly beautiful here. I took her hand to ward off being impolite but felt honored that she actually wanted to touch a little being like me while wondering what exactly was the trial of passing her Eye.
I avoided her eye area as it bathed my body in luminosity and she traced a hand over my cheek, settling it over my temple as she explained, "I judge the final decision but first, I must hear your say and what your heart wants. Life is about balance, not making a choice without hearing the other side. Now, tell me what I've asked, child."
"I want to be one of The People, I've grown up wanting to live with them and I'm trying- no, giving it my hardest to fit in and I will do what is asked of me, anything, to have a spot among any clan that chooses me" I spoke firmly and evenly because I did want that more than anything else in my life so far (well, except for my university degree but that was done) and I wasn't about to keel over without an argument. True, there was no way a speck like me could come close to threatening a deity of phenomenal powers- oh damn, she smiled at that with her eyes- ahem, but I would argue until I was blue in the face. If she wanted me to stand up to her (which I believed was her intention all along), then I aimed to please and save my life while at it.
Her feet glided over the grass as she circled me with a Tsahìk's confident gait, glowing pupil-less eyes examining me from head to toe as she asked neutrally, "You believe you will succeed in Iknimaya?"
"I can't answer what I don't know but yes, I'll try my hardest and only attempt it when I feel ready enough to" I answered truthfully about my uncertain future and looked to the horizon overhead as the sky remained clear of clouds. Maybe my own forecast would turn out the same? Clenching my fists, I claimed firmly without hesitation, "I intend to conquer an ikran and prove to the Omaticaya that I belong with them-"
"You are for the Atykwe, remember? Nitari has told you" she teased lightly with a chiming laugh infectious enough to bring one from my own lips. I liked nice Eywa, I didn't want to bring out the vengeful part (I'm sure SecOps would feel that for years). The atokirina lengthened vertically to heighten her stature over me and she emphasized its point when she lectured me, "You will be a child to them, learning your first steps within a time span of single seasonal period while others have had years to prepare. Your teacher will be relentless in training you whether in the hottest day to hunt grazers or during a nighttime downpour for night hunting. Simultaneously, you will be learning your contribution to the clan with every day life while training. Can you handle all of that?"
"I survived with four hours of sleep a day during college to study and that was while trying to find a place to sleep and hoping to God, eh, an Earth deity, that I wouldn't get mobbed in my sleeping corner in the nearby park" I stated determinedly and since she'd seen every bit of my life, she would know it to be true. Also, I didn't like bringing the subject up for anybody but she made it incredibly easy on a little soul like me with a small nod. I smiled confidently as the fear from before had faded into nothing and piped up, "I'm up for any challenge, just ask Dr. Augustine-"
"Trust me, kiddo, battling a large reptilian bird isn't as easy like training a poodle" Grace's amused voice broke in and I turned around to see her sitting idly on a large boulder that hadn't been there a second ago. Letting out a surprise yelp, I fell down on my ass as both the scientist and deity stared down at me. Grace gave me a wry smirk, reddish curls brushing against her left shoulder as she tsk'ed and teased, "Oh don't look so shocked, it's not like I'm a ghost- well, not back there in the realm of the living."
My mouth gaped open like a fish as I tried to sputter something out as this place was becoming more surreal with the passing minutes. Or had it been hours? I couldn't even tell anymore! Grace sighed at my dismayed expression, a look she'd given me whenever I was in a slump or confused state, and tried to boost my morale, "I'm not about to bullshit you with high promise of success because we all fall on our asses once or twice in life. You've had your share already so if you're ready for this, you have to see it to the end. No 'I got my ikran and I can fly like a bird' or 'yay, I'm one of you now so I can go where I please', you will be there among the Na'vi forever until you die. You will talk like one, eat like one, bathe like one, crap like one-"
"Grace-" I balked to her potty mouth since Eywa was standing like right there in front of us and blushed deeply but she went on regardless.
"Hunt like one, mate like one, have a bunch of offspring, and make sure your clan keeps strong because there will never be a time to think about yourself only" she finished firmly and wagged a finger to lecture me further, "That's the thing with humans, it's all about their egocentric wants but never about the group as a whole. You will care for older members, look after the younger generation, and find a mate who will care for you and in turn, you for him. Iknimaya is just the start to other tests whether physical, emotional, or mental."
I nodded quietly for the mentor talk because life was never simple and it was a ride full of turbulent uplifts and depressive sinks to rattle your balanced state of mind. Her words didn't deter me, not that they meant to, and I smiled at her for being here with me during this judgment. Honestly, Grace felt more like a mother to me than my own ever did. Standing up on my feet, I looked the deity in the face as her white eyes blinded my own painfully but could see why Mo'at would call this judgment the Eye of Eywa. There was no way to save your eyesight if you maintained eye contact. Nonetheless, I managed to declare with searing crying eyes, "I want to live and I don't expect to see your grace until you call me back when I'm dead."
"Understood" she spoke melodiously without a hint of disapproval and turned her gaze towards Grace as the scientist lounged on the boulder with the role of spectator. I blinked furiously with my blurry eyes to bring back my sight but Eywa simply ran her fingers over my brow ridge and voila, everything was normal as if it had never happened. Seriously, Eywa rocked. Gently, she told my friend warmly, "Thank you for the assistance, Grace."
I wanted to have more time to speak with her since we never got to say goodbye properly and in a blink, Grace was at my side giving me a tight hug. I returned it wholeheartedly as I was able to hold her like I would in real life, cotton fabric grazing my fingers as I clasped it, curly hair tickling my cheek, warmth leaving her body as if she hadn't been dead at all. She felt real. Sullenly, I whispered fondly against her shoulder, "I miss you."
"We spirits watch over you to make sure you don't screw up so I'll be there floating around" she joked lightly as an atokirina landed on top of her head and ruffled the back of my head before letting go. She faded away instantly as if she'd been nothing but a friendly mirage but heard her chuckle echo through the field, "Good luck, kiddo."
"Live your life with my blessing, little one" Eywa's voice reverberated throughout this private place lacking of time and space causing me to smile happily at passing her judgment. I counted myself unbelievably lucky for it. Her glowing fingers touched my forehead and she calmly stated, "Your ikran will be named Xeki. Remember it."
"Thank you."
"Tanhì."
I gave Eywa's ethereal form a confused face for the comment and could practically hear the smile in her voice as she prophesized sweetly, "That will be the name your mate will call you. His shining tanhì."
I was about to ask why they would call me 'star' of all things but the scene faded from my sight as quickly as it brought me in with the last image being the dispersion of the atokirina. I felt as if I'd suddenly been shot straight through the atmospheric layers of Pandora without a ship. Eywa was gone, leaving me with a feeling of abandonment, and all I could see was pitch black darkness. . .
My lungs filled with precious air as I coughed heavily to regulate my breathing and opened my eyes to meet Mo'at's face which broke into a light smile when my line of sight went all over the place. The Tree of Souls shined brightly above me as tiny tendrils grazed my skin from head to toe and a large group of atokirina lifted away from my body like a veil as they returned towards the tree. My mind could not relay words to my mouth as I gazed upwards in desperation with questions regarding the transfer. Had it worked? Was I-
"Eywa has deemed you worthy of undertaking a new life, Joanna" the Tsahìk declared aloud, her palm touching my forehead, and I found myself smiling as if I'd won the lottery. Hell, it was the lottery for me!
She let me pass.
My little celebration was cut short when Mo'at leaned down and instructed softly, "You must now bury what remains of your old life. Neytiri will show you where."
The following minutes weren't so happy since I was lucky enough to warrant a small burial space next to one of the tree crannies but no atokirina to bury my form with because my soul was still here in this world. Instead, I buried my blue fingers into the warm loose dirt to pile it gently over the limp form of my old self. The body was settled into a fetal position in preparation for it to be part of the Great Mother since we all started out in this form within our mother's womb and a life should be ended the same. I don't know how the other drivers found the whole burying yourself situation but it was heart wrenching for me and I had to stop every few minutes, drowning myself in the ongoing chorus for the next transformation to pause in my burying.
"You are one of us even without Iknimaya, do not be upset" Neytiri tried to soothe with her caring manner but she only broke the last wall of my emotional dam and I burst into tears. I cradled my little human head in my hand, brushing my thumb over its cold cheek as reality took hold that tonight would be the last of Joanna Reynolds. From now on, it was simply Joanna, hunting student and herb organizer.
Her hand briefly clasped my shoulder to offer her sentiments and remembering Eywa's words, I found the courage to finish the burial until there was nothing left but a fresh mound. My hand rested on the center of the mound, resting my forehead over it as the last trails of tears traveled down my neck in a somber river. I hadn't cried like this in years but it was a moment that rightfully deserved a catharsis despite my usual reserve on crying. Softly, I whispered shakily, "Thank you for your help, Neytiri. You. . .you should go help the others."
Worry etched onto her face but I managed to give her a small smile as I sat up straight again, wiping my cheeks dry of tears and assured quietly, "I will be fine."
Neytiri's thinned her lips slightly in reluctance but eventually listened to my request, leaving quietly without sound to help the next person. I really hoped nobody would fail the test. Somberly, I patted my grave and exhaled a lungful of air to rid myself of the painful pressure that had built there before sighing sadly, "I guess this is it, human me. We went through a lot of shit together but this is another journey I must start and unfortunately, you can't go with me."
I bit the inside of my cheek to contain an encore of more waterworks and chuckled unevenly, "It's better that you're buried here where the land is pure rather than tainted like Earth's where nobody will remember our grave given a century. Here, we'll go down in family history once I have a kid-," I couldn't help but shake my head at that absurdity and went on halfheartedly, "We made it to Pandora and though you won't be with me anymore, I'll remember who I was. It's time for me to define who I am now and learn who I will be in the end. Okay?"
A set of hands tapped my shoulders once and I stiffened with surprise as my little eulogy came to an abrupt end. My right hand flew up to press against my heart to calm it from the sudden jolt and relaxed when Tsu'tey's voice reached my ears, "Come, we must return home."
My mind told me to follow the warrior but my eyes remained on the small dirt covered mound that rested inside the tree's crook. I had to leave myself. . .my human form there and this was it for me. No going back and forth to live two separate lives anymore; this was really it. If I died in this body, I was dead. Period.
Still, abandoning my human self there felt wrong after everything we'd endured together but this was my choice in the end. I could and would not regret it. . .so why did I feel horrible for leaving my counterpart there? Heartfelt words aside, it still stung deeply.
"C'mon, Joanna" Norm piped up behind me with a sympathetic smile and tried to move me away by nudging my elbow as he leaned down but I didn't budge.
The matriarch's voice nabbed my attention when she spoke up behind me, "It is time to leave, Joanna."
Standing up with shaky legs, it felt surreal to be in this body forever and I saw the Tsahìk wiping away perspiration from her forehead as she stood in the center of our little group. Being a shaman, the spiritual connection to Eywa was draining and for her to continue doing this through groups of four since Jake's transfer spoke of her skills in volume. I wanted to help her strength recover for what she'd done for me and looked for any nearby water bottles that may have been left but she dismissed my actions, uttering gratitude for my kindness.
My ears lowered as I turned towards the burial, arms wrapping around my sides awkwardly, and asked softly, "Will I. . .will she be okay there?"
"Your life in that body has ended, you are now on the path to one of the People" she advised matter-of-factly as my ears flattened against my head to the atokirina floating by, giving this scene more of a somber outlook. Eywa had told me the same and it was time for me to toughen up like Grace said but the longer I stayed here, the worse it became to achieve. Mo'at lowered her tone and justified what I was reluctant to do with a gentle voice, "You are not abandoning a part of yourself. Hardships exist in all forms of life, this body will face the same as time passes. Your old body deserves its rest after its struggles, do you not think so?"
Her words rang true in my mind while I wondered how she knew all of that. Were Tsahìk's really that perceptive? My eyes darted warily from her to the small mound but eventually, I found myself nodding in agreement. My old body did indeed deserve its long needed rest after everything life had thrown at us and in the end, would be happy for this rare opportunity.
An atokirina landed on my forearm and I watched its little ethereal tendrils sway, hoping it and its other little pals would take care of my old body. Somehow, I knew they would. Mo'at returned to the platform of the Tree of Souls without further word to resume the transfer process and I gave a nervous Cheryl an assuring nod as she passed by with Max as her helper, looking more nervous than I had been. I hoped to see her at the end of the swirly tunnel. Besides Norm and Max, she was the only driver I really connected with on Pandora and a woman needed another feminine figure to confide in and Cheryl was the sweetest person I'd met so far.
The atokirina's ticklish body caught my attention and I smiled at it to coo affectionately but Tsu'tey burst my somber bubble with an order, "We must begin the hike back, the cooks expect you to help today. Do not make it a catastrophe."
"I can cut vegetables, okay? I'm not that useless" I shot back defensively after the whole green nose fiasco but he merely gave me a skeptical expression on the matter. I swore the man wanted me to fail at everything just so he could have bragging rights. Evading the idea of leaving, I mumbled halfheartedly, "Cheryl needs the support though."
"She needs Eywa's support, you are meant to return home now" he stated with his brusque ordering tone but it held a parenting quality that had me obeying him like a pouting toddler. Nonetheless, I tried to make a stand by keeping my feet planted on the ground but he saw right through it and snapped, "She will return with the others but we must take our first group back. Do not dawdle."
Damn it, I never win against him!, I thought miserably with a slumped posture to my never-ending defeats and my toes kicked at the loose dirt and random wooden sticks.
The warrior began walking away without a single alert to me and I grumbled under my breath. Would it kill him to get some manners? I mimicked his overbearing pose and snarky words to brighten my gloomy mood but Tsu'tey turned around to shoot me a heated glare worthy of a thanator that had me giving him a sheepish smile. The man was downright scary in the bioluminescent dark. I pointed to the little woodsprite on my arm as it traveled with us and mumbled pitifully to nab some kindness out of him, "But the atokirina. . ."
An exasperated sigh left his lips as the area filled with radiant light to commence the next transfer, Cheryl's, and he ran a hand over his forehead as if I was a stain he wanted to rub right off. I simply stood there with an innocent smile, swishing my tail behind me, and he grumbled irritably under his breath, "Joanna, you are killing my courtesy."
"You never had any so don't nag me" I retorted sarcastically and held my right arm to my chest to give the woodsprite cushiony seating as I began to follow the path back to Hometree. There were many long and broken paths that led here but Jake had adorned two small mounds of white rocks on either side of the rightful path to let us know so we wouldn't get hopelessly lost. A person like me who had no navigational sense whatsoever was very appreciative. I smacked his side with the end of my tail as I passed by and piped up perkily with a grin, "Let's go then, atokirina pal."
To the woodsprite, I began to ramble despite its lack of ability to communicate, "This is Tsu'tey, he's a very cranky and stubborn warrior that bores me-"
"Joanna!"
"I was getting to the nice part" I pointed out nonchalantly to his reprimand (mostly the hit to his pride) but the atokirina floated away as we hiked away from the Tree of Souls. Well, if it wanted to stay close to its mama tree, I wouldn't complain. I flashed Tsu'tey an impish smile as he tried to keep ahead of me to play leader and cheekily said, "Huh, I guess it got tired of hearing about you too-"
He shot me an angry scowl from his place up ahead and I winced painfully when my big toe stepped on a very sharp rock, "Ow!"
How was I supposed to get used to walking barefoot?. . .Wait, why was I still barefoot? I never got to question how my Avatar had gotten into the similar outfit my human counterpart wore and I kept my exclamation in a low but sharp hiss, "Why am I practically naked? You better not have been the one to dress me or by Eywa, I'll-"
"I was entrusted to carry you by the ikran rider that brought you here, I have no idea on your belongings" Tsu'tey stated heatedly to my wrongful insinuation, his lips set in a straight tight line for the insult, and stiffly pointed down the path so I would keep walking. Okay, never offend him by calling him a pervert. . .still, he could grow a sense of humor. Or maybe the Na'vi didn't like that sort of humor? Oh, I felt so lost every time I talked to this overgrown Prolemuris and he just had to sound like a stern father when he scolded me roughly, "You are stuck with that garb until we return home, clumsy girl."
"Oh! I should bury you underneath the field of fan lizards" I groaned miserably to being bossed around and stomped onwards like a stubborn teenager. Ugh, I knew this body was years younger than my original but the last thing I wanted was to experience all that awkwardness or indecisions accompanied by early adulthood.
By twenty paces, I calmed down with the aid of a few deep breaths of relaxation while hiking through the uneven terrain of the path that left the Tree of Souls. The ground lit up with its natural bioluminescence to light our way home and I turned around, stopping the warrior in his tracks as he walked a few feet behind me. Guess I was playing leader for a few seconds, yippee. Others had already gathered behind us with their belongings and any lingering irritancy dissipated since these people hadn't seen their new home yet. This was a little adventure for them and I wouldn't sour it in any way with a bad attitude, I wasn't that kind of a person. Plus, Tsu'tey needed to keep a good outlook for any possible danger since larger numbers made easier targets and I wouldn't hinder that by nagging like a bitch. Giving him a sidelong glance, I allowed him to pass me and honestly admitted, "Thank you for easing my worries back there. I won't forget it."
With that said, we headed home.
I paused in mid-step. . .only to resume pacing again. This had become a habit of mine whenever I was stressed and for the past thirty minutes, it was all I had been doing. My feet hurt slightly after walking almost five miles barefoot with a chiding Tsu'tey but I was comfortable being back in normal clothing and boots. You'd think the mind transfer would've stressed me out enough to last a week but I had another conundrum at hand already. I needed to grab my little radio back from a certain warrior that was now cutting wood with his knife outside to design something I had no idea on.
The forest around our Kelutral glowed its beautiful bioluminescent shades that ranged from a bright aqua to a simple lilac and I hoped I would catch a glimpse of a fan lizard before the month was over. I loved those little guys! The large tree really did bring me a deep sense of security as everybody participated in activities to contribute to rebuilding the clans and gave everyone familiarity as the Avatars bridged the gap to coexistence.
All of the groups had left the Tree of Souls so everyone was finding their new area up in the treetops to call home. Actually, the Na'vi didn't have sectioned off homes like humans or Ewoks (I really did expect homes in each platform but was cackled at by Tsu'tey when he explained the absurdity of it) but rather kept a separated area for themselves in the natural alcoves to keep their personal belongings in. They could leave belongings in the open because unlike Earth, stealing was against their teachings, or they used the naturally made hollows in the tree to design their own space; one or the other. It was absolutely fascinating to me and I had grabbed myself a small nook to put my stuff in at a section within the lowest branches (if I had to fall, I wanted a short distance) on the left side. Jake told me that warriors slept on the lower levels in case of sudden danger, unmated females on the next level after, families in the middle levels, while Neytiri and he would take the top level as the clans leaders. However, it would be a while before hammocks could hang below the branches.
My tail swished behind me in nervousness as Cheryl packed a variety of aromatic herbs onto uncooked teylu to marinate it before cooking time. The other women next to her were cutting vegetables in similar stir fry techniques to add into the mix. I had cut up my own share, that I could definitely do, and was careful this time of not touching my face in case they stained too. Her voice spoke up to advise me with a small chuckle, "Taking a step would make your journey faster."
"Easy for you to say, it's not your radio and he won't aim his anger directly at you" I grumbled miserably in chastisement to myself for not grabbing it when I had the chance earlier and shook my arms to get rid of the nervous tingles. I hopped in place like a boxer and reassured myself with pep, "You can do this, Joanna. He has nothing you don't have."
"Except strength, agility, fighting skills, weapons-"
"Not helping!"
What was an independent spunky woman like myself afraid of, you ask? It would probably be the big fat 'no' attached to getting my radio back that would have my waving goodbye like a toddler losing her favorite lollipop while Tsu'tey dangled it over my head like a bully. Ugh, I hated weakness. So instead, I summoned my courage since I'd faced this man before in verbal combat and strutted up to him like an angry extinct cheetah.
I was only four feet away when he aimed those piercing cat-like orbs of his at me and my bravery deflated from a hot air balloon to a tiny water balloon in .01 milliseconds. My movements halted instantly as my posture turned sheepish and my tail touched the floor in submission as I tried to gather my wits. He was like Medusa and Wolverine rolled into one; a tough combo. I crossed my arms to ponder this challenge but he broke the silence by calling out sternly, "Is there something you need?"
My fingers tapped together over my chest as I tried to keep it from jumping out of my rib cage. Eesh, could he be any stricter? I had to tread lightly with him since I had no wish of dying in my new body before the night was over. My feet picked up dirt as I walked over quietly to his side as he sat on a root that easily served as a high bench, tapping my fingers over the rough wood absentmindedly. My muscles tensed when my gaze met his and I realized he'd been scrutinizing me since I walked out here (he just screams friendliness, doesn't he?) and politely brought up the topic, "My radio. You have it."
"Ray-dee-oh?" he asked confused with a tilt of his head while his face looked like he'd swallowed a lemon and my shoulders slumped to his lack of knowledge on Earth items. By Eywa, I hoped I wouldn't be as lost when I began learning hunting techniques. I was already at a loss with creating a hammock. What other horrors awaited me?
I motioned with my hands to play charades with him in radio shapes and explained carefully as I tried to keep the concern out of my voice, "A little silver machine you had in the morning that you kept fiddling with because it didn't obey your prodding. Don't tell you gave it away or destroyed it for your own sadistic pleasure?"
"You are a pessimistic person" Tsu'tey remarked bluntly to my worst case scenario and I rolled my eyes to scoff to the side. He's one to talk. He already assumed the worst of me when we first met so I'm not the only one.
"No, I'm rational and you haven't exactly screamed the title of best gentleman since we met" I justified simply to ward off the idea of sounding like a wet blanket and crossed my arms to appear more intimidating. By the look on his face and his domineering height, which was ironically higher than before because of the tall root he was sitting on, my courage became extinct and I mumbled in a tired drone, "C'mon, do you have it or not?"
"Yes, but I will only return it if you explain how it works" he bargained slyly with that trickster attitude and I groaned aloud at playing teacher again. First I was Mama Joanna and now, I had to be Ms. Reynolds. Well, maybe he would be a good student and dutifully listen without opening his yap. His golden eyes remained directly on my face with that intense but eerie unblinking stare and I waved my hands between us as I yelped, "Stop doing that, it's creepy! You look like you're ready to skewer and eat me."
"I am not a savage beast" he snapped in retort to my nitpicking and I mimicked his deep and scathing voice with mine as I nabbed a seat next to him on the root bench, pulling myself onto the root clumsily. It was best to let him have his way until I had my gizmo back. He snickered behind closed lips as my tail flicked all over the place like a child's while I managed to grab good footing in the rough bark but by the time I reached his spot, my chest was heaving from breathlessness and I resembled a drunken Na'vi rather than a respectable anthropologist. I wheezed tiredly from a mere nine foot climb which spoke shamefully of my skills but said nothing, simply resting my head on the root as I lay there limp as a noodle and heard him snicker yet again.
Two minutes and a whole lot of simplified definitions and explanations later, my radio was back in my arms safe and sound. Yes, I knew it was old (I had it since my freshman year in college ages ago) and I wouldn't be able to keep it here because it lacked a recharge station but it comforted me. . .damn, I really needed some animate friends. Taking Jake's constant advice, I kicked my feet idly against the root as I began my rusty and awkward socializing skills with this impassive man.
Making conversation, I piped up curiously with my friendliest voice, "What are you designing?"
"A new bow, I lost the one I first carved from our old Kelutral during the final battle and I never found it after several searches" he answered distractedly without breaking concentration as he shaved off a few wooden pieces with his knife. The top of the wood had been rounded off while he worked on the center to shape its crescent form. His eyes squinted in focus as I watched him with interest, seeing how his wrist rotated his thumb carefully as it rested on the blunt of the knife while the razor sharp edge of the ikran claw cut into the wood at a perfect angle that only the most experienced knew how to do.
His gaze briefly flickered to mine to catch my visible curiosity and he simply stated, "You will make your own when you complete Iknimaya."
Tsu'tey gave me a cocky smirk afterwards as he paused his handcrafting, adding in, "If you survive, that is."
"I'll survive just to spite you alone" I scoffed smugly to defend myself and felt irritated at his lack of faith in me but dropped the topic to keep civility between us. He was undoubtedly right though; as one of them, I would have to survive my rite of passage to truly fit in. Right now, I held no rank or special skills and with a proud man like he, Tsu'tey would take all the verbal jabs he could get in because of my lower status. That only fueled my resolve even further.
I crossed my arms as he resumed crafting his new bow, watching as his fingers brushed off excess slivers of wood, and asked intriguingly, "Do the students learn this after they complete the rite of passage or before?"
"Your teacher will instruct you on proper crafting and maintenance to make certain you can create one by the end of your initiation" he answered absentmindedly as he whittled off a few more curly wooden shavings before grabbing a small round gray object that lay next to his side in his open satchel of tools. I watched him grip it tightly under his hand, the size fitted the entire circumference of it, and Tsu'tey began to sand the wood smooth. Huh, what a handy little tool. His lips thinned in attentiveness to every calculated stroke and I leaned forwards from my seat to watch his work but heard him snort dryly, "I pity whoever is chosen for you."
"Tsu'tey! Stop being a. . .well, I can't translate it into your language but it's a bad word, I can assure you of that!" I snapped sharply to his brusque tone and clenched my fists over my lap to get him to tone down his attitude a bit. Eesh, did he wake up every morning with a stick up his butt?. . .Seriously, did he?
I threw my head back to pent out my frustrations in a long soothing sigh until my lungs were out of breath. With that anger gone, I stared back down at him and spoke calmly, "I am trying to learn as much as I can every day but I can't ascertain a skill instantly, it's impossible. I'm not here to belittle or deceive you. . .but if this is the way you act with everyone, I don't see what's so honorable about you."
His teeth bared at me as he cast his woodworking aside to point a finger at me threateningly, "You know nothing about me-"
"And that's what I'm trying to understand but you act crazier than a banshee in heat!" I interjected to emphasize that little irksome trait of his personality and hopped off the root to pace in a straight line. This man kept drawing the last straw on me and we'd barely agreed to be friends this morning! How did he even keep his friends? Or was he still so deeply mistrustful of me despite how much I pleaded my innocence?
Truthfully, I stated firmly to get him to back off, "I'm not afraid of opening up and accepting what life throws at me. I chose a profession that's based on the complete understanding of another person or society with a perspective that never scrutinizes, mentally conditioned only to accept new information and increase plasticity of the mind as you incorporate it to share with others. To protect and salvage that knowledge from having it corrupted or extinguished. . .are you getting any of this?"
His lips formed into a frown at the left edge of his mouth as he contemplated for a few seconds, golden eyes shining down at me from above like a panther's, before speaking directly, "I will be honest. . .I lost the meaning of your words more than half a minute ago."
I pulled at my hair exasperatedly, grabbing braided and unbraided hair into clumps but was careful with my parted queue section (Dutch braids came in handy for feeling the large braid), at why he just sat there without saying anything to me. Was he trying to make me appear foolish? Ha! I could run circles around him with my intelligence. . .but I also knew he could do the same with his own as Gardner's theories on aptitude regarding the nine human intelligences remained true even among different species. I was great in linguistic and logical intelligence while Tsu'tey dominated naturalist and kinesthetic intelligence all on his own. I heeded to the sky as I exhaled in a groan full of exhaustion and irritancy, "Brawn and brains will never agree in a rational equation!"
I continued sputtering off more scientific nonsense that a Na'vi like him would never understand but his gaze stuck on me nonetheless. More than once I stopped in mid-sentence to jab my finger up at him pointedly with the word 'you' attached until I ran out of mental fuel to keep my mouth blabbing. Afterwards, I just sighed deeply to flush it out of my system with a count of ten before sighing calmly as I pressed my hands to my chest, "There. It's out of my system. . .so don't piss me off or I will tear one of your ears off, probably your right one since it looks like something took a bite out of it already."
I stayed in my spot with crossed arms and a defiantly raised chin towards the warrior for whatever else he wanted to throw at me. After a few seconds of silence, I began to feel awkward as his intensive stare did not shift elsewhere and I glanced at everything but him to ward off intimidation. My courage undoubtedly needed serious work.
"Come here, Joanna."
I stiffened to the command as it broke the silence between us and darted my head around to realize that nobody was at the entrance but us. Everyone else in the clan was gathered inside as the last meal of the night was in preparation (Cheryl and I would help passing around the leaf plates for clan members later on) and the bioluminescence of the plants around the roots of Hometree gave us light outside. The fire from within barely flickered out any light for us out here so we were shrouded in dim lighting. My feet scooted a few inches away because I'd no idea what he wanted and I disagreed warily with a distrustful glance, "No."
"Joanna" he beckoned with that piercing stare of his that reminded me of a predator and I scooted away again like a shy schoolgirl.
"No, I don't wanna" I mumbled sheepishly and turned my gaze towards the fire lit entrance to appear distracted by nothing.
"Why? You cannot control your clumsy dreamwalker feet?" he mocked with a smirk on his angular features and I glared at him, walking up to him with a brave gait to prove his insult wrong. I wanted to smack that superior smirk off his face and staple a friendly smile to it but alas, no. He'd kill me himself first. So clumsily, I killed my lungs climbing back up (why had I been stupid enough to jump down in the first place?) but slipped down a few times causing a few burning scratches on the back of my arms. For added mortification, I accidentally grabbed a hold of his tail in belief that it was a sturdy vine to use and caused him to curse aloud for my atrocious climbing skills. When I finally conquered the annoying root, Tsu'tey ignored me completely without even offering the simplest of generosities by aiding me in the climb. And he wondered why I called him an asshole.
Catching my breath, I wanted to strike him across his shaved head since he was the one that wanted me up here in the first place! Playing his game, I crossed my arms to challenge him from a standing position but he didn't budge to my stance, simply glancing into his open satchel to resume his woodwork as if I wasn't there staring at him with narrowed eyes. The gall of this man! Tsu'tey picked up his gray polisher without acknowledging me and ordered tightly with thinned lips, "Sit down, child."
"Not until you tell me what you plan to do- I can see mischief written all over your big yellow eyes" I grilled crossly and waved my fingers over his narrowed feline eyes. His upper lip curled to the close range of my hand (like he hadn't invaded my personal space with his face yesterday) and I placed it on my hip as I slanted them to the right, shifting weight onto my leg to model the common pose that was popularly known as 'angry woman hassles ignorant man'.
Instead of a smartass comment, he met my gaze with an amused hitch of his lips that took me aback and scoffed dryly, "Really? I had no idea you could read eyes."
I was about to retort to his mockery of me but after digesting his comment, I found myself laughing at the joke. Crazy, huh? There never was any long lasting civility between us. . .maybe there never would be but for right now, I could handle the nonviolent bickering that strangely reminded me of the old couples I saw in the supermarket arguing about the difference between ketchup and catsup even though it was the exact same thing. The image of an old Tsu'tey and I arguing decades from now in the same infinite loop made me laugh even harder and I sat down next to him again. I held my sides as laughs continued to spout from my lips and his gaze turned awkward towards me. His puzzled expression hurt my lungs more as a deeper laugh shot through but I managed to wheeze, "Imagine. . .us. . .arguing. . .nonstop. . .when we're old. We'll die arguing. . .to our graves. Can you. . ."
Another long fit of laughter broke through and I squeezed my stomach as it began to hurt from the lung contractions but finished, "Can you imagine that?"
A halfhearted grunt was his response and I smacked his right bicep with the back of my hand for a better response. I almost coughed up a lung and he barely gave a 'meh'. 'Meh' was not good enough. I wanted a laughing companion although Tsu'tey was the least suitable choice as one. He was abrasive, rude, grumpy, and didn't say much unless it meant catching something at the end of his arrow.
I shook my head to this conundrum of a man and offered an example, "Think about this. I say flatbows are better at supporting stress-"
"And I say longbows are far superior" he argued instantly, his side swept braids clicking as their bright beads touched, and nodded towards his work as proof. See what I mean? We baited each other with perfect success. His yellow eyes shifted to his unformed bow as he stated self-confidently, "They are easier to create, have better-"
"Exactly, don't you see? We're already arguing despite the fact they're both hunting bows and give the same end result!" I pointed out giddily with a laugh and his lips open and closed a few times like a fish out of water as he caught onto my trap before turning away from me stubbornly. I rolled my eyes to his immature behavior, wondering if everyone here let him have his way which would be a perfect answer for that ego of his, but my eyes widened when I heard the faintest of chuckles from him.
Frozen in my seat, I willed myself not to move to make certain this was real and not a hallucination from an unknown head injury after falling down the root too many times. Tsu'tey was laughing, not at me but with me. It was a miracle! When he noticed my silence and the amazed curiosity on my face, he cleared his throat abruptly at being caught but I said nothing of it. Offering a small smile, I joked lightly, "I'm sure that by our elder years, we'll be comparing the best ikran colors. I say vibrant colors are pretty-"
"You would get eaten by a Toruk by sunset, camouflaging colors work best in the forest setting" he pointed out haughtily about his skills and I lightly smacked his bicep again as I cast aside the whole human-Na'vi touching norms. His ikran was the most gorgeous with a mix of blues and purples (not that I'd tell him that) so he shouldn't be one to talk about camouflaging tactics and an ikran chose you, not the other way around. Still, only Tsu'tey would put in a word of argument to refute me. He snorted towards me with disdain as the tip of his nose wrinkled, "What is it with you and smacking me?"
"If I really smacked you, you'd have a bruise" I stated bluntly with a curve of my lips to his nagging but patted the area with the palm of my hand to humor him. Brightly, I piped up proudly with a wide grin, "There. A friendly pat. I often forget about the rules on touching after growing up a tawtute so nyeh!"
He stared at me with deadpan silence that unsettled my stomach and finally, he spoke offhandedly without regard, "You tire me."
"Tsu'tey-"
"You are going to study the makings of a bow" he ordered me with a no nonsense voice and I nodded meekly to obey because this was a critical skill I would need in long life. My hands itched to start and Tsu'tey laid his unfinished bow on his lap as he turned to grab the polisher that lay between us and held it up to my face along with his knife. I'm not exactly sure how old Tsu'tey is but when he spoke, I couldn't help but feel like a scolded child by her father.
His voice was firm without any room for questions as he explained, "A knife and a polisher-"
"What kind of knife?"
Tsu'tey deadpanned to my small question and he shook his right hand that held the knife to spat in emphasis, "This one, Joanna!"
"There's many kinds of knives, Tsu'tey-"
He uttered a hiss behind clenched teeth at my little questions and I smiled innocently when I knew he wanted to bury his head in his hands and yell at me. Instead, he growled out sharply, "A normal knife that can carve, all right? These are the only tools you'll use to make one. You will need to make your own knife before Iknimaya and I will lend you this polisher- don't you dare ask what kind because this is the only type- only if you promise to maintain its condition. We take good care of our belongings and even more of our clansmen who graciously provide them."
He's actually trusting me with his things?, I thought with surprise to the prospect and wondered if the passing weeks were really thawing his cold behavior towards me. If this was a means to test my trust with him, then I would not fail.
"You won't regret it" I assured as I kicked my legs happily at my new gift (albeit a shared one) and grabbed the polisher from his hand to study it. The rough sensation reminded me of grittier sand paper but it resembled gray plating that seized my attention over its origins. It also vaguely resembled the meat mallets used to tenderize meat with their pointy ends back on Earth, except much tinier in size and compacted. I glanced at him with burning questions in mind as my hands clutched it to my chest as if it were the newest invention- well, to me anyway- and questioned hastily, "Where. . .I mean, how do you make this?"
"Angtsìk armor is rough over their backs in certain areas and we break off the pieces from mature members to shape into handy tools- it's very good for smoothing woodwork and crushing certain foods" he answered simply and I ran my fingertips over the rough underside that could easily peel off skin with the right pressure. He probably thought I was about to do just that and roughly pulled it away from my grasp as he scolded sharply, "This is not playtime, Joanna."
"I'm observing, it's part of the learning process" I corrected snippily if he thought I was actually that stupid in the first place but he merely scoffed to my justification. Whatever, he'd been taught to learn one way and I was used to Earth based teaching methods. That aside, my tail flicked happily behind me as I awaited orders and asked excitedly, "So what do you do first?"
He seemed satisfied with my enthusiasm to learn and began explaining the fundamentals step-by-step, starting with how to find the best wooden piece on Hometree for a bow, as he kept working on his bow simultaneously. I could really see why the clan deemed him the best and it wasn't because of his skill in fighting or hunting, I was seeing his brilliance in the basics of survival. There was endless ingenuity in that brain of his, after all, who else would jump without a care onto an armored aircraft filled with SecOps and survive a crash into a forest while riddled with bullets? Nobody else-
"Joanna!"
I blinked rapidly to snap out of my delving thoughts and gave his scowling face a sheepish smile to mumble politely, "Sorry. Please, continue."
See what I mean? He held unbelievable senses.
A/N: Huh, the chapter was supposed to be sixteen pages but it turned into this long piece so I hoped I satisfied you guys. I'll be writing as much as I can before I head to school again and watching the FIFA World Cup and horror films (1980s and older because modern films exaggerate too much) soothes me wonderfully. A little bit of humor with somberness to give it a sense of balance, I guess. The next chapter should be mostly humor but who knows, I tend to edit my chapters a lot before posting. I just loved Tsu'tey in this chapter, he gives advice while also being snippy about it. As for Eywa, I could only see the atokirina coming together as a physical embodiment of her so hopefully, I pulled that off. If you guys have any suggestions of how she could look like also (deities have that shape shifting thing going on), feel free to post your thoughts. Also, I can't express my gratitude enough to all of your fav/story alerts that keep coming in so thank you. And a happy yay to my reviewers:
13oct- The length of my chapters will usually be long so don't fret, dear reader. I'm sure you'll enjoy reading the teaser too! Well, two teasers actually.
Lilmisspurplesunshinee- I'm sure every reader wants them together except for Tsu'tey and Joanna themselves. Their relationship will take a while to root into real friendship because Tsu'tey just isn't that friendly, period. The romance itself will take longer because conflicts always arise in love and it will cement their bond. The pacing will be slow because I don't believe he'd fall in love easily with a dreamwalker after years of personal experiences with humankind but thawing him out of those prejudices will keep things interesting. Oh, and yes, Tsu'tey will be the one training her (read teaser below) but unlike other stories where he falls in love with the OC, the two will mostly argue and cause mayhem. Also, it'll have a twist at the end when training is almost over so it won't be a predictable plot.
TopKat90- I just had to put in the 'man-hunter' and 'woman-gatherer' joke since like Tsu'tey said, those with no rank help the others that do so you know they'll try to take advantage of poor rank-less Joanna. And yes, he no longer pokes her to see if she'll die or get hurt but more out of innocent curiosity since I think the Na'vi still find it strange at how humankind can create Avatars. As for touching, I believe Tsu'tey would do it in private where no one could question his motives and if he did it in public, he'd probably use a bow or stick to ward off touching her directly. The two won't be touching each other in public unless it's in training and that's just when he smacks her over a mistake. When they do start touching, you guys can safely assume it's the start of their outward affection. Tsu'tey will have his own p.o.v chapters whether by first person or third and Mo'at will be more involved after Joanna leaves the Omaticaya to get Tsu'tey out of his depressive (cranky to his fellow hunters) funk.
Soccer11- Right now, the two are heading for friendly terms with competitiveness fresh in mind but when they realize their true feelings in later chapters, they'll stay in denial since they're both stubborn. Jake, as usual, will try to help with crafty plans but he ultimately fails too. lol.
Judilee- Thanks for loving the last chapter and yes, their relationship will be like a turbulent whirlwind but Jake wants them to be more like he and Neytiri (meaning she does the ordering and he obeys. Ha) who quickly fell in love within three months. Tsu'tey and Joanna will not take a few months to come to that point but much longer because of life itself; it's just more natural. Hope the meeting of Eywa pleased your imaginative mind!
KThxBai- Thanks! They're already humorously cute and that's without the romance. I can only wonder what you guys will think when they start showing their affection.
SGT CJC- Ouch, getting a computer fixed will drive me insane with the lack of web access, you have my heartfelt condolences. Norm did the transfer out of chapter but Cheryl simply said it to let the readers know since writing the whole transfer scenes would be a little repetitive since we had Jake's that blew into 'who's the boss?' so Joanna's would be more sentimental. For now, Tsu'tey will be on normal jerk mode (but still has his nice moments) until it comes time to train his new student. Three guesses on who it is. And thanks for the encouragement because I try my best to make sure everything is thorough (my migraines act up a lot when I'm on the computer which just isn't fair) but appreciate a correction on grammar.
DarkInuFan- Oh no, they're nothing like pets- heck, they're more awesome than humans! In this story, let's just say that yes, Jake's eyebrows are gone. The Na'vi shave off their hair so what's a few eyebrows to fit in with them? Piercing earlobes? Why didn't I think of that? Bad Mystic. You have a great idea which I think will be useful in later chapters. As for Norm, I think he's allowed to choose since Tsu'tey respects him more than Joanna despite she practically saved his life.
Pyra Sanada- A tickle fest would be hilarious but those two are very reserved when it comes to touching (plus the whole society norm) so of course, having Joanna argue with him until they laugh is their way to reach camaraderie.
Jayn- I know, each culture has their own way to joke and call someone an idiot so when Tsu'tey had to point out 'You promised to use words I understood', I had to laugh at their cultural differences. Plus, her calling him Prolemuris just cracks me up because I laugh aloud every time I see the cute monkey in the movie and think 'Hey, it's Tsu'tey!'.
Death magic doom- The thing with OC's is you have to tread carefully on making sure they don't grab all of the attention but don't fade off into the background at the same time since there's a reason she's an OC. In this chapter, I couldn't have her conquering all the skills of the Omaticaya women in one shot or have her do decently because it's not easy adapting to a new culture so of course, the easiest chore was the best for her (although she ended up with a green face). Same goes with the transfer, she's in for the judgment and out so Mo'at can head to the next person as Tsu'tey tells her it's time to leave. She's there to interact with the characters but doesn't nab the spotlight. Thanks for the compliment!
xXchibitsukiXx- Thanks for putting me on your alerts and faves, I'm glad you love the story and am always glad to hear feedback. Updates are usually every two weeks or so because of the long chapter length so don't worry.
Next time on 'As Pandora Turns':
I stood next to Cheryl and watched in anticipation with gripping tension biting at my muscles to see how the whole student-teacher relationship would start off. Max and the huntress spoke briefly in incoherent mumblings before Peyral smacked him clear across the head. We all withheld gasps and a few 'ouchies' echoed behind me as we held unison sentiments. Poor Max massaged his head pitifully as the huntress sighed aloud and he called over to us with a calm voice, "Apparently, lacking eye contact allows the enemy to strike. . .good to know."
"Okay, next up is. . ."
Half the crowd disappeared before Cheryl's name popped up and Neytiri and Tsu'tey remained in the line of available teachers. Even the good looking hunters were gone (sue me, but I was a woman and there was nothing wrong with looking). Please Eywa, give me Neytiri. I will name my first child after you! Heck, give me all girls and all of them will be called Eywa!
"Cheryl?"
"Gih!" she squeaked nervously, grasping my arm involuntary but I squeezed her shoulder to tell her to stop being so edgy. With nimble steps, Cheryl walked over hesitantly as she wrapped her arms around her sides and warily eyed the hunters before her.
Jake patted her back to ease the woman's tension and pointed to a hunter near his own stature. The man's hair was styled similarly to Jake's but all of it was entwined in one single braid unlike other hunters who left a few random braids outside the queue braid. His garb was similar to the hunters but there was something different about him that I couldn't pinpoint. Jake, however, spoke up before I could think of it and practically answered it, "Noren will teach you. I know you tend to be skittish so as a singer, I'm sure he'll soothe your nerves. He's great at teaching students and he likes to talk on just about anything since singing is more his thing than hunting."
"This sounds more like the Dating Game, Na'vi version" I commented dryly with a small laugh and stopped short when Jake looked at me with a mischievous smile. Oh crap, what was he going to do to me?
"What's that evil grin for? Jake-"
"That's Olo'eyktan to you right now, missy" he joked with that evil glint in his eye and I slouched in my spot for opening my yap in the first place as Cheryl left to join her new teacher. Jake wasn't kidding, the guy instantly perked up and began chatting to Cheryl who surprisingly didn't seem to mind it one bit. Lucky them. My friend's cocky smile didn't strike me with confidence and he informed me happily, "Now, Joanna, for your tendencies to be persistent in everything you do. . .and for being my joking nemesis. . .I have deemed it right for your teacher to be-"
I shook my head violently as I desperately tried to stop him from saying what I dreadfully assumed he would, "Jake, c'mon man, I swear I'll tell Neytiri you're scared of-"
"Tsu'tey."
Time practically froze for me at that point.
"You planned this, didn't you? I hope we have bladder polyps today, you glowing pickle scaredy cat" I grilled shrilly because that pompous hunter was the last man on Pandora I wanted to spend time with at this point and crossed my arms defiantly. I sniffed in insult and spat out, "I am not having that unbearable louse as my teacher."
"Then I wish you good luck on your own because you and he are partners for the next several months" he grinned mischievously without room for question to my deadlock and I wanted to wipe that smirk off. Why was Jake always trying to push me into Tsu'tey's vicinity? Did he really want us to end up killing each other? What exactly was he expecting from us? We were like two positively charged ions, we'd repel each other rather than cooperate. . .especially after his latest screw-up.
I whined pitiful gibberish under my breath and stomped over to where Tsu'tey was stepping backwards for every step I took towards him. You see? We would not pair well; he was the tart bubbly Champagne and I was the sweet chocolate cake that would create World War IV around us. Neytiri had to slap his shoulder lightly in attention to get him to behave and I scowled at him despite my smaller stature. He was undeterred by my rebelliousness but had a sour face that distinctly read that he'd rather be anywhere but here. My face fell and I dug my fingers into my hair when I heard Jake declare from behind, "Norm, for your determination to be one of The People, your teacher is Neytiri."
"Oh, come on!" I exclaimed frantically to the choice I'd been praying for go up in smoke and balled my hands into fists as I sulked inwardly for my loss. Why was I the one stuck with this uncaring hunter? My mind briefly flickered to what Eywa had told me about my teacher being relentless and I almost groaned aloud for my stroke of luck. I kicked at the dirt listlessly as Norm jogged over to meet Neytiri with a happy grin that was always present as of late. Oh, they were going to get along wonderfully while I would be praying Tsu'tey didn't leave me stranded in the forest to fend for myself. With a disappointed sigh, I mumbled dolefully with a childish pout, "It's not fair. I get this Dr. Seuss thing and he gets the princess."
"I am not a thing" Tsu'tey snapped sourly to the name calling but I could see he was trying to hide his confusion regarding who Dr. Seuss was (I wasn't going to tell him either) and I blew a raspberry at him to puzzle him more. Nothing like Earth stuff to rattle that hardheaded Na'vi. Then he did something that took me aback completely.
He slapped the side of my shoulder.
A bold move which caused me to gape in surprise because Tsu'tey had never and I mean never touched me like that since we'd met. A curious poke and irksome pull of the tail, yes, but actual skin contact? Never. The strike hadn't hurt, he meant it as a warning tap if any but still. While I was stuck in my mental stupor, he barked out an irrefutable command, "You are my student and will treat me with respect and no more tawtute language from now on. Am I clear?"
I ignored his existence completely because I was still fuming over my computer's assassination and turned my back to him. Part of me was hopping giddily at being so bold towards a man ranked at the top of the hierarchy while the other was cringing in impending doom. Either way, I gave a friendly smile to Norm and congratulated him on the lucky win that everyone wanted, "You're so lucky, pal."
Norm stared awkwardly between both of us (no, not him too!), seeing the obvious tension that we refused to acknowledge, and Neytiri decided to end it by scolding at us, "Stop behaving like children. Norm, we will take a walk before meeting with Jake."
They left us alone with a pitter patter of steps that raised particles of dirt around our ankles and I watched everyone speaking with their teachers. . .with perfectly amicable smiles. Even shy Cheryl was laughing with her teacher. It wasn't fair! Why was I paired up with the most aggressive one in the gang? He'd probably shoot me with an arrow and call it a weapons malfunction. Plus, he ruined my computer and I wasn't ready to roll that over or the unwilling ride through mud either. We simply stared at each other impassively without a word as we tried to size each other up in challenge until someone walked over to us but we paid them no mind. If he wanted a staring contest, he'd get one!
A blue hand snapped its fingers in front of me and Jake's voice stated chidingly, "Nuh-uh. See, this glaringhere isn't going to happen. You two are going to be the best of pals and train happily until Iknimaya. I will die a happy man if you two would swallow your pride and walk arm-in-arm."
Tsu'tey glared at me one last time before turning his gaze away to bargain with him. To me, it sounded like he was throwing a bitch fit. So there I stood with a deadpan expression on my face while Tsu'tey ranted as if I were completely invisible, "You cannot expect me to teach her, Jakesully. I am the best hunter in this clan and to be saddled with her of all people. . .it mars my ranking! Could you not give me one of the less volatile dreamwalkers?"
"Volatile? You launched my computer through the air and almost hit a group of women! You're the psychotic one with anger issues, Prolemuris!" I shot back for his description of my personality which he obviously disliked and yeah, I wasn't perfect by a long shot but he was no prize pick either. Frankly, our dynamics seemed to be heading in the opposite direction since yesterday and I'd probably mark us feet away from even walking on the imaginary bridge when days ago we'd been heading for the center. Crossing my arms huffily, I muttered darkly under my breath, "We're more liable to maul each other than get along."
"That's a risk I'm willing to take" Jake replied slyly with an offhanded wave of his hand towards our wellbeing and I shook my fists in tantrum mode at why he thought we would make a good team. Ugh, I really did feel like a teenager that was unwillingly partnered up with the annoyingly lazy student in a class lab. Tsu'tey was glaring down at me from the corner of his eyes to set forth his dominance like a male lion while I kept my chin raised and my line of sight away from him like an irked lioness.
Why Jake thought we were two peas in a pod was beyond my comprehension. Maybe he saw something I didn't but then again, Jake had a LOT of crazy ideas. People still talk about the humongous Toruk (another crazy idea that could've backfired horribly), which had now made itself a nest at the top of Hometree to call its own when it wasn't out hunting or spending the night in its wilderness dwelling. Most of us thought he'd released the large beast into the wild until it actually returned to the Tree of Souls a week later so Jake kept his tamed Toruk and called him Tsawke. At first, he wanted to call him an absurdity of names like Tomato or Starburst but Neytiri tore into him and he chose seconds later. Needless to say, most ikran stay in their designated spots underneath its top level to stay out of its way but recently, Jake's been training him to act as a protector to the Omaticaya's ikran. Like I said, who knows what Jake's cooking up in that brain of his when he's already trying to make a Great Leonopteryx play Big Brother to a band of ikran.
Jake eyed each of us speculatively and changed his light tone into complete seriousness that showed his military background, "I expect you two to act civilly towards each other like mature and polite individuals. Both of you will meet me at the front in twenty minutes and I want to see smiles. Can I trust you two to survive until then?"
He pointed to me with an indicting finger that quickly reminded me he was clan leader and I did have to obey his say. I sometimes forgot that because of his playful manner and friendly way of speaking but listened like any clan member would as he spoke firmly, "Do not kill my best warrior."
Tsu'tey smirked at me for being preferred over me (part of me was envious because I wanted to beat him at something) but Jake turned to him with the same tone and warning finger to order, "Do not kill my friend either."
I smiled impishly at Tsu'tey for having equal preference with Jake and his upper lip curled in distaste to show his sharp canines. Jake gave us the brush-off when his serious tone changed back to an uppity chirp that would've been a classic diagnosis for bipolar disorder and he cheered optimistically, "All right, run along now."
A special request to all 'One Of The People' readers:
Okay, so I'm at the point where I've outlined about 45 chapters for this tale but I'm stuck. Yeah, stuck. I can't decide whether to give Tsu'tey and Joanna a daughter or son as their first child because either could alternate the way the story's headed and I already have the ending settled so don't worry. I've already etched out everything leading up to her late pregnancy so don't be fearful of a hiatus because a hormonal Joanna and an overprotective Tsu'tey are even funnier than when they're grouchy at their current stage. The only problem is figuring out the sex of the baby. So here's what I'm asking of you guys: VOTE FOR A BOY OR GIRL!
Put it on a review or pm (I'll try to post a poll on my profile soon) so I can tally it up and get the story flowing. If you need descriptions on each, here's a special excerpt from the later chapters on the morning after their union (way after their 'bow chicka wow wow' moment- ha, I couldn't resist writing that phrase) where the two discuss what Eywa showed them:
"I'm sure you'll treasure our own children" I complimented with delight at the idea because he ran from most children nowadays (maybe it was a man thing) but Eywa had shown me something quite the opposite to popular belief. His cheek nuzzled my neck affectionately and it told me he was listening and I admitted softly, "I saw a little girl, she barely learned how to walk and kept stumbling in her hasty steps. She had that same tight lipped look you get when you're concentrating and her eyes were exactly like yours, same angle and everything. She had this lopsided little ponytail on the left side of her head that stuck up in the air in a funny way and she tried to loosen the hair band with a pudgy little hand to get rid of it."
Laughter erupted from my lips at her sour face but quickly went on, "You snatched her up seconds later to scold her about not listening and walking off alone but she was pretty defiant, wiggling in your arms like a fish before bawling her little eyes out. You caved in seconds later and let her go as she waddled happily towards the shoreline. She went shell collecting and you sat there with the grumpiest look imaginable except for when she brought a little token to show you every few minutes. She's the first to wake us in the morning and tells us what she wants to eat by pointing at the food. You tell her 'no' on anything and she starts bawling like someone died but you always give in. Daughters tend to wrap their dear fathers around their little finger, you know? Hmm, I should've attempted that tactic when you started teaching me."
I reached over to tap his nose with my finger as he fiddled with the blue ribbons in my braids to see if they would loosen and teased him with the last image I'd seen, "She likes to squeal out 'my sempu' with this toothy smile every time she sees you before clinging onto your leg for a hug. Adds a cute little pout on her bottom lip too if you don't greet her quickly."
I chuckled amusingly to what I'd seen and almost wished that cute little child was running around. Imagining Tsu'tey actually nurturing children was almost an impossible idea to me since he hid like a Prolemuris in the trees every time one passed by. He chastely kissed the nape of my neck, snapping me out of my amusing ponderings, before telling me with an enticing tone, "I saw something entirely different."
Turning around, I traced my fingers through his hair before asking worriedly, "Was it something bad?"
"No, Eywa never shows such unless she disapproves of the union and she didn't" he assured with a kiss to my forehead to settle my worries. I cuddled up against his form for warmth (not that I needed any but I'd grown used to it), resting my cheek in the crook of his neck as if this was story time and nudged his side to get him started. He gave a light chuckle to my innocent prodding and I smiled when he gave his side of the tale, "Mines had a boy. No more than three years old. He doesn't like it when you feed him and always crawls into my lap to grab pieces of mine because apparently, you tend to coddle him a bit. Not that I'm surprised but- Joanna, stop glaring."
With my little disagreement over being too nurturing (he was right on the money but I wasn't going to give in) put to rest, I pecked a little kiss on his neck to let him know I was joking. He glanced down to flash me a cocky smile that soon faded into sincerity as he continued, "He likes to curl up against you in our hammock at night and you tell him stories but he's hard to put to sleep because you end up asleep first. You take him to walk on the beach but he always tries to swim yet can't so he cries when all the older kids splash in the water and he can't. You fix his hair in the same style as mine but tighten it with extra knots and pins because roughhousing always has him coming back with disheveled hair that takes hours to untangle. Also, he loves getting dirty in the mud while playing with his ikran toy but he cleans it to perfection. You and I painted it blue and white, a combination of our own, and he keeps it in a wooden box for safekeeping when he's not playing."
A proud grin touched his lips as Tsu'tey told me gleefully, "He sneaks out when I fish but I know each of his steps before he makes them so I catch him before he's a step out of Hometree. He fishes very good for a child of that age but of course, I always keep a hold on him. Still, I don't mind boasting about him. He likes to show off his catches to you before climbing onto my back so he can see me prepare them. He's like you, eager and stubborn to learn. He even has your glare when I tell him 'no' on anything- see, that one right there."
I batted his chest for his little joke but smiled nonetheless. . .
Thank you to everyone for reading this even longer chapter and please review with your comments or choices.
