chapter seven
A/N: So. I was not as quick as I wanted to be, and this chapter probably isn't too great, so sorry for that. But I'll just do better next time. Hope you have fun anyway.
There are many different vehicles for loneliness. Most of the people Sougo knows (including himself) ride it in subways where they will be underground, where they can blend in and pretend to be just as indifferent as everyone else.
China girl, on the other hand, tears down highways in a muscle car, its powerful engine announcing its presence even as it passes out of sight.
While she has her tsundere moments, she does not hesitate to show she cares. She calls the boss whenever she feels like it (whenever she misses him), and is even clingier when she's feeling blue.
It's a nice afternoon, perfect for a nap, and he is about to fall asleep on the couch when a huge object throws itself on top of him and knocks the breath out of his lungs. He nearly gets up, but he sees said object wearing a pitiful expression he can't make himself relish.
"What the fuck, China?"
She rests her elbow on his chest like he's her goddamn bed, cradling her chin. Her legs, smooth and bare, graze his. "I cannot sleep," she informs him.
Sougo closes his eyes. "Well, I can. So fuck off."
"Show some respect, you freeloader! That is not how you should talk to the breadeater of this household, yes?" She flicks his forehead and he catches her hand before she can snatch it back. She tries to yank it away from him, making little growling noises as she does so, and with every little movement he is reminded that she has breasts and they are fucking rubbing against him.
"This is my apartment, you brat!" He grabs her face and attempts to shove her off him. "And you're still living off my damn savings! Get off, fatty!"
She bites his hand and clamps herself tighter onto him like a leech. "I do not want to nap alone, idiot sadist!"
He sucks in a breath as her grip nearly pops his ribs out of his chest. "Like I give a fuck about what you want." If he looks at her, he will give in, so he glares at the ceiling. But she has stopped trying to squeeze him to death and now she's just sort of lying there, making sad kitten-like noises. He lets himself glance at her very quickly to assess the situation, then sighs when he sees her giving him a forlorn thousand-yard stare.
Sougo squeezes his eyes shut and rubs his temples. "The rate is 300 yen per second. Plus 150 if there is cuddling."
She blinks up at him. "I will pay you with my—"
He smacks a hand over her face. "Your body isn't worth even a fraction of a yen, brat!"
She slaps his wrist away. "That is not what my customers say, yes?"
"Oi, what customers? What kind of shady freelancing business are you running?"
But she has already rested her cheek on his chest with a contented sigh, her legs straddling his. She's asleep within seconds.
He touches the back of her head. "Fucking China," he mutters.
Her fingers curl ever so slightly on his shirt. The movement makes a sound like moments stretching.
All too aware of the pig lying on top of him, Sougo can't think of anything boring enough (not even Hijikata-san) to make him drowsy again. With every breath she takes comes the reminder that she has breasts and they're pressed against him and they're so damn soft and god, the things he can do to them—
The door whines open.
"Huh. So you didn't change the locks."
Sougo almost jerks upright. He has forgotten that Hijikata-san is a complete bastard who doesn't notify people when he's coming to visit. And here he is, fantasizing about a brat whose snores rival a chorale of a dozen seeping pigs.
"Sougo?" Footsteps.
When Hijikata-san enters his line of sight and sees them, he stops and says nothing. He blinks and stares. Sougo glares and does his best to project a strong murderous intent. There is not much he can do without waking the idiot up.
Hijikata-san opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. Closes it. He blinks some more. Then he shrugs and sits down on the table.
"So." He clasps his hands together. His eyes are dark and he looks more like a panda than ever. "When was the last time you went out?"
Sougo feels whatever vestiges of horniness he felt go down the drain.
The same questions. Every single time.
"Five days ago."
"When was your most recent panic attack?"
"Eighteen days ago." He realizes that it's almost been ten seconds since the beginning of the conversation and he hasn't threatened or mocked Hijikata-san at all, but he just wants this over so the mayo freak will leave. The less he says, the quicker this will be.
Hijikata-san's hand twitches toward his pocket. "Why did you have a panic attack?"
Sougo looks away from him and realizes he's clutching the back of China's cheongsam. He loosens his fingers, one by one, but keeps his hand there.
"Why do you use nicotine patches?"
"Why did you have a panic attack?"
"How many packs do you smoke in a day?"
"Why did you have a panic attack?"
"When was the last time you slept?"
"Why—" Hijikata-san grits his teeth and grabs a fistful of his own hair. His breaths and China's snores divide the passing silence.
Hijikata-san has always been the one asking the difficult questions, but he is functioning so well that he's probably never had to give the difficult answers. He's most likely lying his ass off to Kondo-san regarding his own condition, assuring the gorilla that there is absolutely nothing to worry about.
Fucking hypocrite.
"I promised," the hypocrite says in a low voice. "I promised her I would look after you, Sougo."
Of course he did. He's him. Among Hijikata-san's countless flaws is his inability to accept that there are such things as uncontrollable. That he cannot micromanage every little thing that happens under his supervision.
"There you go again, making useless promises." Sougo draws circles on the small of China's back and she makes a happy little sound that he will later dwell on for far too long. "I don't need to be looked after, Hijibaka. Lately I've been feeling more homicidal than I have in the past weeks, so expect a murder attempt soon."
Hijikata-san rests his chin on his knuckles and just watches him for an unsettlingly long time. The problem with the mayo freak is that unlike China, he is capable of being completely unreadable. And he looks like a total creep, too.
(So what did she ever see in him?)
"Not for a while, I think," Hijikata-san finally says, straightening. He reaches into his pocket and takes his lighter out. He watches it tremble along with him, tightens his grip on it, then stands.
Sougo follows him with his gaze. Everything that runs the length of his tongue is flippant and full of shit and he cannot make himself say any of it to a mayo addict whose eyes have somehow grown darker. (Because of him? Because of her?)
There are many different vehicles for loneliness. Most people, including Sougo, ride it in subways. China girl rides it in a muscle car.
Hijikata-san simply walks.
Sougo shakes his head a little. "Make yourself useful and bring food next time, Hijibaka."
The freak seems to consider it. "What, running out of things to feed your wife?"
It takes every ounce of his will to keep a straight face. "What the fuck are you talking about? Getting delirious from sleep deprivation, Hijibaka?"
Hijikata-san just shrugs. "If you want." He takes his phone out, peers at it with a serious expression. Then the very audible sound of a camera shutter gives him away.
Sougo twitches. "What are you doing?"
"I'm sending this to the perm-brain."
"Oi!"
"Keep it down, you'll wake your wife up."
"Who are you calling my wife, dammit?"
Hijikata-san taps his phone a few times, then pockets it. "There. He'll probably try to kill you as soon as he gets back. It'll be good for you. You need the exercise."
Unable to move, Sougo resorts to making threatening noises. "What kind of shitty police office encourages murder?"
Hijikata-san makes his way to the door. "I don't want to hear that from a shitty police officer who likes murder."
Sougo listens to him put his shoes on. "If you put mayonnaise on the food you're bringing, I'll kill you and piss on all the mayonnaise you've stocked up. Then I'll kill you some more."
The door opens. Hijikata-san's footsteps. Then a soft voice Sougo can't read: "I'll be looking forward to it."
When he is gone, Sougo lets himself wrap an arm around China. He cradles the back of her head. She hums and rubs her cheek against his shirt, murmuring a bunch of words that do not make sense.
The afternoon is pleasant, perfect for a nap. And still he cannot fall asleep. While he waits for himself to doze off, he thinks about the drastic measures people take to hide presence, and the even more drastic measures they take to hide absence.
"China," he says, and she snores at him. There's something dangerously close to fondness in the way he holds her closer to him as he carefully sits up a little and leans on the couch's armrest. She hums and burrows into his chest, muttering something that sounds like 'sadist'. He says "China" again because he's competitive. Her snores resume without a hitch.
The things he will do to keep this going.
He wants to tell her what it's like to sleep alone, but he doesn't know how to.
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A/N: Alright. I'm unsatisfied with this chapter's quality (or maybe it's just shorter than the others? Idk honestly haha), but because I'm the author and thus a subjective judge, I can't pinpoint all the little things that contribute to its suckiness. Sooo I'd appreciate it if you could tell me which parts made it not-so-great if you coould. Thanks!
