chapter 7- The funeral

Becker

I was not looking forward to today. Jess had stayed up until late last night, i could hear her crying.
I wanted to talk to her, but i knew there was nothing i could say to comfort her.
So, after putting on my best suit, i waited her for to come out of her bedroom.

'Morning Becker' she smiled, opening the door.

I knew straight away that the smile was fake. She has a perfect smile, yet this seems forced.

'Hey, how are you holding up?' i asked.

'Im fine Becker, really. I have to stay strong.. For Robins sake'

She walked past me, giving me the perfect chance to look at what she was wearing.
The dress itself was nothing flashy. It was just a simple plain dress that just about covered her nees.
The thing that really drew attention to her was the black headband holding a medium sized black rose.
Black didnt really suit her. She was more of a colourful in your face type of girl. Today was going to be hard.

Jess

I'd tryed not to think about the funeral, but its really hard not too.
If we hadnt gotten the money from the house, then i know it wouldnt have been very special. But considering we got a fair amount, i was determind that today was going to be perfect. For mum.
Robin was wearing a cute little black suit. Most people wouldnt take children to a funeral, but he loved mum just as much as me. He has the right to be standing by my side.. Holding my hand.

'Jess, are you both ready?' Becker asked, looking out of the window.

It was obvious that Abby and Conner had arrived.
They agreed to drive us to the cemetary, and we'd meet Matt and Emily there. Of course, i wanted Lester there too, but he needed to keep an eye out for an alert.

'Yes, we're ready' i sniffed, grabbing hold of Robins hand.

We followed Becker outside, where Conner was standing by the car, holding the door open for us.
Robin got in first, and i made sure he was strapped in before i got into the middle. Then Becker squashed in beside me.

'How are you Jess?' Abby questioned, looking round at me.

'Im fine. I wish people would stop asking me how i am!' i snapped.

She turned away again, and Becker gave me a tempered look. Ok, so it was harsh, but how do people really think i am? Im hardly going to be singing a merry song now am i?

I gulped a few times. 'Im sorry, its just...'

'I get it Jess. Ive lost people aswell remember. Its not easy. I just dont want you to feel like your alone. Your not.'Abby responded kindly.

I forced a smile, then turned and looked out of the window.
The car started and we were off.
We drove past the corner shop, and i couldnt help but wonder what he must be thinking.

Becker

After what seemed like a never ending journey, we arrived at the cemetary.
I spotted Matt instantly. He was holding a bunch of red roses. I knew Jess would be far to upset, so i asked him to get them. I knew he wouldnt forget!
As we stopped, Emily appeared out of no where and opened the door for me.
I jumped out, then helped Jess. After she was out, she leaned over and took hold of Robin.
She picked him up and hugged him. I no just how heavy he is, but she shew no expression of strain in her face. I think she just wanted to be close to him.

'They're here' Conner said, pointing behind us.

We turned to see the black vehicle driving slowly towards us. Inside was the her mothers coffin. It drove past us, showing the coffin through the glass window. It was white, and very shiney.
Jess looked as though she was going to brake down, so i quickly put my arm around her weist to keep her still.
Matt handed us each a red rose and we walked slowly behind.

Jess

I stood, watching as they were lowering my mothers coffin into the ground. Tears were streaming uncontrolably down my cheeks.
I looked down at Robin, who was wiping his away. Maybe i shouldnt have bought him. Is this really fair on him?
I got down onto my nees, not careing that the ground was filthy dirty.

'Robin, Grandma's ok. We've brought her here so that she can get up to heaven. You know about heaven dont you? The angels will lift her up into the clouds, where she'll be happy. And i bet she'll be watching over us now, thinking how silly were both being'

I was wipeing away my tears too. I never thought it would be this hard to say goodbye.

'Mummy..' Robin sobbed. I felt my heart skip a beat. He'd never called me mummy before.

'Yes sweety?'

He leaned forward and hugged me. I held him tighter than ever before. 'Right, mister. How about we get through this one together yeah'

I stood up and took his hand. We then both walked over and dropped the roses into the ground and onto the coffin.
I picked him up and stood back, watching as everyone else dropped there roses too.

Becker walked up to me and put his arms around me and Robin.

'Jess..' he whispered, letting go and still faceing behind me.

I turned my head, and noticed my dad, standing in the distance. He was dressed in black and holding a rose of his own.

'Take him' i babbled, handing Robin over to Becker.

I walked slowly towards dad, my heart beating so fast i could bearly breath.

'what are you doing here?' i wept, pushing my fringe away from my eyes.

'Returning this to you' he smiled, pulling mums letter from his pocket.

I took it and smiled. 'Well you could have posted it'

'I dont know where you live though. And besides, i had to come'

'Why?'

'I needed to tell your mother that i forgive her. For leaving.. And for lying.'

'Well,she wont hear you from over here' i claimed, putting my hand out to him.

'Are you sure you want me to join you all? After all, i wasnt exacly nice to you'

'Your my father. And i understand you must have been shocked. Its just, i think i need you to be there with me'

He took my hand, so i took the opertunity to hug him.

Becker

I watched as Jess hugged the father she hardly knew. He did the right thing.
I never thought i'd see it, but i am. Its happening.

'Im sorry for my actions' He smiled, now standing infront of me, still holding Jess's hand.

'Its ok sir.' i informed, as i put Robin down so he took take hold of his mums remaining hand.

The three of them walked over to the hole in the ground, and William dropped his rose.

'Im sorry i couldnt be the man you wanted me to be. I never loved anyone else, and i doubt i ever will. I forgive you for the hurt you've caused me, and i hope that you rest in piece my love'

I couldnt control myself. Tears were escaping my eyes far to quickly for me to catch them.
The three of them walked back to me, still hand in hand.

'I also wanted to say thankyou.' William admitted to me, putting his free hand out for me to shake it.

I did so of course, and waited for him to continue.

'My daughters been through alot. This time last week i didnt know i had a daughter of course, but look at that face. Shes mine and im certain. I wanted to say thankyou for being there for her. For defending her and protecting her. You've done a great deal for her, and for that i will forever be doing you favours'

'Its my honor sir. Your daughter truely is something special. And so is your grandson.'

He nodded, and released the grip on her hand.

'I guess i should be going'

'Why?' Jess protested, grabbing his hand back.

'I dont want to get in the way of any plans you've made for today'

'Believe me sir, there's always going to be a place for you' i put in, trying to make him understand that we really did want him here.

He smiled, and sniffed back the tears.

Jess

After the funeral was over, and everyone had gone home, i knew it was time to say goodbye to dad.

'Your not going to disappear of the face of the earth are you?' i inquired nervously.

'Heavens no. If you'll still have me, i plan to stick around and watch your son grow up. I missed you growing up into the amazeing young lady you are. I dont intend to miss seeing him.'

I grinned and hugged him. Then said goodbye.

i walked back over to Abby and Conners car.
Robin had already gone to sleep leaning on Beckers shoulder.

'He was really tired! He fell asleep straight away' He smiled.

I got in next to him and leaned over to make sure Robin had been strapped in. Of course he had.. What was i worrying about?

'So, are you seeing him again?' Conner asked, starting the engine.

'Yes, i think so. He wants to see me again' i grinned. I couldnt help it!

I leaned my head on Beckers shoulder, just as Robin had, and closed my eyes.
So, my mum had a nice funeral, and my dad wants to get to know me.
Aswell as having 179 thousand pounds left from the house.
Theres only one thing i can say about the future. Bring it on!