I'm back! I know i meant to be earlier because i was late last time (i like to punish myself slaps hand) But oh well... No one cares... i hope.
This chapter is once again Beta-ed by Art is a Bang XD.
I realised i din't do a disclaimer for a few chapters, but i'm sure yuou all know i don't own Naruto, once again... i hope...
Did i mention this is the last chapter?
Chapter 7-
"I cannot believe you let the Kyuubi leave without a single scratch! And you didn't even attempt to fight him! Have you forgotten our goal?" Pein shouted across the living room, pacing up and down.
The rest of the Akatsuki were there too and listened as their leader ranted on about letting the Kyuubi escape. Normally when Pein addressed the whole of the Akatsuki, no one would listen and would simply have thoughts wondering elsewhere. But this time however, Pein had magically regained his public speaking skills and was tying the criminals down to earth. Each and every member, including Tobi, could feel a seed of guilt.
"Why? How come no one did a thing and idly twiddled their thumbs?" Pein threw the papers he was holding into the air, letting them slowly float to the ground, "Why? HIDAN! KAKUZU!" the mentioned pair jumped, "You even sold them whatever they wanted to buy! And don't say it was to gain money, what is more important, capturing the Kyuubi or 50 or so bucks? You could of taken as much money as they had in their purses once we sucked the bijuu from Naruto!"
Kakuzu protested, "But I didn't know he was the Kyuu-"
"There were enough clues! He even pointed that the figure on Tobi's hit list was him! How could you of missed that?" Pein hissed, he changed his prey and picked on Itachi and Kisame instead, "The Kyuubi was your goal, you had enough encounters to know who he was!"
Kisame hung his head, well those words were directed to him more than Itachi, I mean no one dares to insult the great Uchiha prodigy.
Itachi simply stared blankly, the words were getting to him, but he was in no position to show fear.
Pein turned to Konan, "And I cannot believe that you of all people held be back from attacking the Jinchuuriki, why did you put gaining money more important that our plans?
"I have no intention of moving our head quarters again, if we were to fight, the place would of been destroyed in an instant. This is not the greatest of battles grounds. We only held this Garage Sale because we were low on money," Konan explained.
"I see your logic..."
Konan smiled.
"Right then, off to bed the lot of you," Pein herded the ninjas.
"Tobi made breakfast!"
"Tobi! Get off me, un," Deidara rubbed his eyes and groped for the alarm clock, which he raised to his eyes.
"Tobi is sorry..." Tobi leapt off Deidara's bed and straightened himself.
Deidara blinked when he saw the time, "Holy strawberries! TOBI! WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP EARLIER UN?" Deidara shoved the alarm clock in Tobi's face.
"Senpai didn't tell Tobi to..."
"Then why did you wake me up now, un?"
"Tobi thought Senpai might like breakfast..."
"Who has breakfast at 12? That's lunch!"
"DEIDARA! Get your ass here NOW!" Pein roared.
"Oh radish!" Deidara scrambled out of bed and rushed downstairs.
"YOU WERE MEANT TO WAKE 5 HOURS AGO! I CALLED TOBI TO SET UP THE GARAGE SALE AGES AGO; THE STUFF HAS BEEN SITTING THERE BAKING IN THE SUN FOR ANYONE TO STEAL!"
"...Sorry, un?"
"Get out of my sight!" Pein pointed to the front door, "And don't you dare come back in until you sell something!"
"...Breakfast?" Deidara asked meekly.
"OUT!" Pein hollered, shoving Deidara outside.
"Wait up Senpai!" Tobi called as he trotted faithfully at the heels of Deidara.
Inside, Pein burst into a fit of maniacal laughter, surprisingly enough no one heard anything.
Deidara flopped down onto a cheap foldable camping chair, only to have it break under his weight and bounce several centimetres.
"Oh candy," Deidara muttered, kicking at the remains of the chair.
"Eh? Is Senpai alright?"
"Do I look like I'm alright to you, un?" Deidara shot back. He was not in the best of moods. First he was woken up from his beauty sleep, then forced to sit in the scorching sun and sell crap to random people and NOW, he had to stand to sell stuff.
"Yes…"
"Well, I'M NOT, UN!"
Tobi cocked his head, "How?"
"I'm sitting on the filthy floor in the scorching sun…"
"Tobi sees… Continue"
"And… and… I'm hungry, un!" Deidara whined.
"Clay?" Tobi offered, holding up a container of 12 year old play-doh that he had picked up from the table.
Deidara snatched it and happily stuffed the contents into his hand-mouths
"This is tastier than the ones I normally use… nicely fermented too, un…"
"Cake?" Tobi held up a badly shaped cake from a rather pretty pink play-doh.
Deidara shoved that too into his mouth, and then wiped away the crumbs from his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Say… Tobi…. Would it be possible if I borrowed your chair, un?"
"Sure… Tobi doesn't mind…"
Without as much as thanks, Deidara snatched the chair from under Tobi.
Tobi thumped onto the floor and laughed happily as he bounced down the driveway.
An hour passed and there still was no customer, it was one of those scorching days Deidara and even Tobi was getting bored. The masked man had made a total of 1594 little clay snakes, which were rather cute, and was running out of clay.
Tobi tugged at Deidara's sleave, "Seeeeeeennnnnnnpppppppppaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiii!" Tobi whined, "Tobi is bored."
"Deal with it, un!" The blonde was longing to get an ice cream or even just get some shade.
Tobi hung his head. His Senpai was no entertainment.
"Wait, un!" Deidara called as a thought light-bulbed over his head, "I have a game, un!"
"Really?" Tobi beamed.
Deidara nodded, "Stand right here and stay as still as possible for as long as you can, that includes no talking, un." Deidara pointed to a overly sunny spot just in front of him.
Tobi shuffled into the spot, "Here?"
Deidara shielded his eyes form the sun, "Just a little to the right, un."
"Okay!"
"Wait no, a little forward, un."
"Is this better?"
"Yes! Perfect un!" Deidara exclaimed as he was eaten up by a patch of Tobi-shaped shade.
And within a few minutes, the blonde fell asleep.
"Senpai! Wake up! We have customers!" Tobi shrieked, shaking the blonde awake.
"OH MY GOD, un!"
"Jashin!"
"Eh? Tobi doesn't get it..."
"You're meant to say oh my Jashin!"
"Tobi is still confused... Jashin's a god... right?"
"YES! JASHIN IS THE MOST AWESOME-EST, BEST-EST GOD EVER! AND ALL YOU PATHETIC MORTALS SHOULD BE DOOMED TO DIE IF YOU DO NOT WORSHIN JASHIN!" Hidan yelled throwing his hands up in the air over-dramatically.
"Then... Then shouldn't Senpai be saying Oh Jashin?" Tobi questioned, scratching his mask, "Because Jashin is 'My God'?"
Deidara and Hidan blinked.
"Tobi is right, right?"
Hidan snapped out of the trance and dug into his pockets for the bible and a pair of reading glasses.
"OH MY JASHIN! YOUR RIGHT!"
"Tobi is?"
"Have you read my bible?"
"What's a bible?"
"... Maybe not."
Kakuzu trotted up to the bickering three-some and tapped Deidara on the shoulder.
"Yeah, un?" Deidara spun around. The others turned their heads too.
Kakuzu stared down onto the three.
Deidara, Hidan and Tobi quivered. Kakuzu could be very scary when he wanted to.
"Ah-hem!" Kakuzu cleared his throat.
"Yes?" Tobi asked emitting a slight glow of innocence.
Kakuzu twitched and pointed to the table that was once full of goods.
"Oh my god, un!"
" Oh my Jashin!" Hidan corrected.
"Oh Jashin!" Tobi corrected.
"Look no one cares," Kakuzu's voice showed a little annoyance, "The thing is THERE ARE CUSTOMERS WAITING TO BE SERVED!"
"Oh right!" Deidara, Tobi and Hidan chorused.
Kakuzu twitched again, "You know if I was the customers, I would have simply stolen the goods, you two aren't even paying attention..." Kakuzu muttered as he stalked off.
"You know, I'm not really meant to be here, so I'll leave you two coffees here."
And Tobi and Deidara were left to the mercy of the llllllllllloooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg llllllllllloooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg line of Fan-girls, slightly less Fan-boys and an even longer line of Anime reporters.
"Hi... How. Can. I. Help. You. Un..." Deidara said through gritted teeth for the hundredth time that day (Not exaggerating).
A Tobi cosplayer smiled happily, through a badly shaped mask, "Tobi would like this, Senpai!" The kid said handing over an orange mask and a wad of cash.
Deidara snatched the mask and the cash without a word. He handed the money over to Tobi who attempted to shove it into an already full piggy bank. Deidara picked up a stray plastic bag floating around and tossed the mask in.
Tobi had gotten used to the amount of cosplayers to care anymore. To start with, he had ran out and greeted every single cosplayer as the person they were cosplaying, believe that they were the real person. He had even gotten a little confused when there were two 'good boys'.
"Here you go, un..." Deidara thrust the bag into the arms of the cosplayer, "Next, un!"
"Hi... How. Can. I. Help. You. Un..." Deidara repeated once more, damn Pein for giving the job today of all days.
"I want the bag of clay!" the fangirl demanded, pointing to the bag closest to Deidara.
"No! That's my clay, un! You're not allowed to-"
"DEIDARA! JUST GIVE HER THE COOKIE CLAY!" Kakuzu yelled from somewhere within the Akatsuki Hideout.
The pyromaniac winced. "Fine, fine. Here's the clay, un." He sighed. That was his last nice bag of clay. "Next!"
A girl in her late teens walked up, holding a microphone and surrounded by cameras.
"Hi... How. Can. I. Help. You. Un..." By now, Deidara seriously considered quitting Akatsuki.
"Hi! Amanda Ross speaking, is it true that the Akatsuki are broke?" The reporter asked shoving a microphone into Deidara's face.
"Zetzu, un!" Deidara called. In a split second the reporter was sticking in the mouth of the cannibal.
The same happened for ever reporter that dared question the Akatsuki.
Deidara longed to blow them up, but Kakuzu had complained about how much of their stock would be damaged in the explosion. Too bad.
"Broom Boy, un!"
A very blue Kisame in a frilly apron and holding a broom stepped into view. Kisame once twitched when he walked out and every other Akatsuki member once sniggered, but that was way off. They had gotten so used to the sight of Kisame sweeping away the bones of poor innocent reporters that it wasn't as funny anymore.
A quivering fan boy stepped forward a boxed ring in his hand. The boy kneeled on one leg and grasped Deidara's hand.
"Woul-"
"ZETZU! UN!"
The unfortunate fan boy was gobbled up by the plant monster, like the many more before him, who were either gay or had mistaken Deidara as a girl.
And once, Deidara would have twitched, everyone else would wolf-whistle but that too was a long time ago.
"How can I help you?" Hidan snapped, he had ran dry of curses ages ago.
"I wloud klie htis lpase."
"ZETZU RETARDED FOREIGNER!"
In two seconds flat the weirdo was in Zetzu's stomach. "Spicy..." Zetzu growled.
"Kakuzu! New piggy!" Tobi called in a raspy voice. Tobi's voice had grown hoarse from being too happy and now chose only to speak when spoken to or when he needed something.
Kakuzu walked in pushing a cart of piggy banks. Without a word he picked up the full money jar and replaced it with an empty one.
Even the Leader was reduced to selling with Konan, Hidan and Deidara.
And the great Uchiha Itachi had to work. Kisame was too busy with the sweeping to help him anymore. The Uchiha sighed as he walked around the headquarters looking for random plastic bags that they could use outside. Not that he was doing very well.
The long line finally shortened and drifted off into nothing as the sun set. Working together, the Akatsuki packed up and headed inside.
"Right, today was a highly successful day," Pein announced through a coughing fit.
"Why are you coughing? Are you choking?" Kisame asked.
"Are you going to die soon?" Hidan shot in.
Konan, knowing Pein well, "You're hiding something..." she twitched.
"No nothing..." Pein choked, his eyes darting to the calendar.
That was an enough a clue for Konan, who stalked over and picked it up. Circled in permanent marker was the date of today and beneath it in scrawly writing-
Beware, international anime fans day.
"That explains the ice cream retarded language that weirdo spoke."
"And the huge numbers, un."
"I can't believe you didn't tell us!" Konan screeched.
"Eh-he-he..." Pein laughed meekly.
"Look on the bright side, we sold everything!" Kisame announced.
"Bright side?" Kakuzu snapped, "Now we have nothing left to sell!"
"Which is good," Hidan nodded.
"Well technically, everything but a lolly," Kisame held up a mint.
"Tobi's!" Tobi snatched the candy from the hands of Kisame and popped sweet into his eye hole, wrapper and all.
"That's everything!" Konan laughed.
"Tobi!" Kakuzu growled, "You owe me 5 bucks for that!"
"What?"
"The mint!"
Tobi blinked stupidly.
"Pay me! Or give me back the mint!" Kakuzu shouted, tentacles unfurling.
"GGGGggggggaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!" Tobi leapt out of his seat and ran around the room with Kakuzu's detached arm hot on his heels.
"We have 10,000 bucks now..." Itachi muttered.
"Nice! What can we do with that?" Konan asked.
"Coffee? We really need a coffee machine," Deidara suggested.
"A better garage? We have a car now," Kisame recommended.
"Trip to Disneyland!" Tobi yelled out, still running in circles away from Kakuzu's arm.
"W00-" Pein yelled, "I'm mean, nothing!"
The Akatsuki raised their eyebrows.
Pein whistled.
Sobs That's the end of this fic...
Thank you all my readers who stuck to reading this story, to all my reviewers who told me that they liked the story and told me that i wasn't writing for a brick wall to read and to my awesome Beta Art is a Bang XD who also reviewed to all my chappies!
That you to anyone who will read and review in the future.
Ok... I'll probably be dead for a while, until i find an idea for my next fic... waves, climbs into coffin places hands crossed over chest and coffin lids auto matically closes its self.
