A/N: Thanks for the reviews, you guys rock

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, you guys rock!

00000000000

Brian and Chakotay now had to hold back Peter and Janeway, to keep them from pummeling one other for the thirtieth time.

"No smoking in my Ready Room." Janeway called across the table to Brian. "Bad dog."

"How dare you speak to me like that!"

Voyager chose this moment to be hit by a transwarp torpedo, sending every person in the room rolling in a different direction.

"Crap, not again!" Harry shouted

"What, can't you guys go ten minutes without someone trying ta' blow you up?" Peter snapped.

As they all scrambled to the bridge, the ship shook so much they almost had to grab the walls to keep from being knocked to the ground (like Lois was. Peter pointed and laughed).

"Battle Stations!" Janeway yelled over the com.

Everyone stayed exactly where they were, except one crewman who shifted to the wall panel on the other side of her neighbor.

While Seven began typing furiously at her tiny consol, a smirking Quagmire slowly descended upside-down from the ceiling behind her, peeking through his binoculars.

"Talk about perfection baby! Ya want me to meet you in your cargo bay tonight and let me penetrate your hull? OH!" he jeered.

She stung him with her assimilation tubes, without turning around or stopping to type with her other hand. He fell from the ceiling and landed on his head with an "Omph!" and a thud.

"Onscreen." Janeway said gulping coffee once more.

"Aye Captain." Brian (Tom's new co-pilot) turned it on, taking a swig from a tiny bottle of Vodka and tossing it behind him at Chakotay, who caught it, took a swig himself, and tossed it back.

They were greeted with about 70 Borg cubes and additional smaller vessels, all lead by the Borg Sphere.

"HE-em Star Wars HEM Rip-off" Peter coughed when he saw the sphere.

0000000000000

"FIRE AT WILL!" King Stewie commanded.

000000000000

BOOM!

"Waaagghh!"

Once more, everyone rolled in opposite directions. Lois ended up smacking forward into Tom, who'd rolled left, while Brian and Janeway hit against the back wall. Tuvok and Harry somehow ended up switching stations.

"Where's Meg?" Peter looked around, not noticing her muffled yells from underneath his fat ass.

They all recovered their seats and stations and fired a few shots back.

"Tom, get us out of her, maximum warp!"

"Aye Captain!"

Voyager sped away, with the Borg armada in hot pursuit. For a while it went just as Stewie had planned. The ship was chased strait passed a gold star, through a sunspot, through purple stardust, over a floating space rock, and finally up to a gas giant with beautiful rings.

"There's something familiar about all this," Janeway observed.

"NO!" Tom hollered, then turned to Janeway. "We've lost the ability to go to warp!"

"What?"

"Torres to the Bridge! I don't know what happened, but we're suddenly out of gel packs!"

Meg grinned.

Tom turned back to his station. "We can still out-maneuver 'em."

And with that, he took Voyager into the planet's asteroid rings.

"You're not actually taking us into an asteroid field!" exclaimed B'Elanna, who'd snuck onto the Bridge wile no one was looking.

"They'd be crazy to follow us!"

00000000000

"What the hell?" Stewie watched Voyager enter the asteroids. "What's that?" he asked Rupert. "Don't be ridicules Rupert, of course I'm not following them in! Drones, send in some cubes after them! Six of Nine, fetch me some Cocoa Puffs, half a bowl, 2-percent milk, with two bags of sugar on top."

The drones heard and obeyed.

000000000000

Tom swerved them between the asteroids. Seven Borg cubes dared to follow. Every body was caught in the moment; the excitement, the speed, and the Star Wars asteroid-field music, which Peter and Harry saw was coming from a band playing against the left wall of the Bridge, John Williams conducting. They all got into the "Aah!"s and gasps and "Woa!"s when the ship rocked, and the "Ooooo!"s when the Borg vessels smashed into asteroids and exploded. The giant space-slug that tried to chomp Voyager but missed by three inches was possibly the best part.

"Right," Stewie said. "We'll just have to go with Plan B. Take us into the asteroid field, target their shield generator and beam up as many of them as you can!"

00000000000000000

"We did it!" Lois cheered as everyone hugged each other- even Peter and Janeway.

That was when a loud hum began, feint at first but getting louder. They all stared up like turkeys as a shadow fell over the bridge (Peter cross-eyed).

"My g-d," Tom whispered, craning his neck. Then he pointed up at the thing. "I've never seen any balloon like that before!"

"I'll take that as a compliment." The clown said, pulling his giant beer-bottle-shaped balloon passed the crew. He had some trouble squeezing it into the turbo lift.

"Oh here let me help you with that." Peter offered.

In the process of pushing it through he popped it. The mammoth bottle of Midweiser shot around the bridge with the air farting out of its cap. It landed over Peter's head like a blanket. Laughing, he pulled it off. Almost instantly he was silenced and his eyes went wide and cross-eyed again when another hum and shadow fell over them. And this time, yes, it was Stewie's Cube.

BOOM!

"They've knocked out our shield generator!" Harry reported.

"Where is you shield generator, anyway?" Brian asked.

Tom shurggged. "I didn't even know we had one, I just thought the sheilds just came out of nowhere and surrounded the shi…"

Tom turned green, swirley colors.

"NO! TOM!" Harry jumped over in a stupid attempt to grab his best friend and stop him from getting beamed away by the Borg. Then Harry and Tom were both green swirley colors. Then they were off Voyager.

Without even thinking, Brian pounded a button at the helm and took them far away from the cube. Voyager flew to a cloud of red space dust, stretched out, and flew away at max. warp.

"How'd you do that?" Meg demanded. "I thought you were out of gel packs and couldn't go to warp!"

"I thought we were," B'Elanna said, "but apparently we have some spares! And you won't believe where I found them!"

0000000000000000

Way back a few minutes ago, while they were still under attack, B'Elanna had been running around the smoking Engineering room and yelling at people when she bumped into a metal trashcan, knocking off the lid.

"OW! G-d fucking dammit- hey, what's this?" she reached in and pulled out several blue gel packs.

Oscar the Grouch stuck his head out to yell. "Hey what are you doing barging into my trashca- oh, oh crap,"

"Oscar have you been stealing from my tool kits again?"

"Uh…"

She punched him in the mouth, knocking his whole trashcan over and into a consol, which exploded.

0000000000000

The briefing room was completely silent. A rarity lately, Janeway noticed. The remaining members of the Griffin family and Senior Staff sat around the not-quite-round table (so that would be everyone minus Stewie, Chris, Tom, and Harry).

"Any ideas?" Janeway asked.

"Obviously you must have a sneak onboard," Lois said angrily.

"Not again!" Chakotay groaned, smacking his face.

"I mean your power always shuts off right when you need it, that can't just be a coincidence!"

Meg sank back in her seat.

"Actually that happens all the time." B'Elanna said shrugging her folded arms.

"No, Lois is right." The Doctor said. "I managed to bribe the computer into telling me how we lost 98 of our gel packs. Some schmuck took them out of their compartment and tossed them out an airlock! It'll take us months to go back and find them all now!"

"At least we were able to get you back online after your program was disabled," Seven said. "It would have been terrible to lose you. I remember when you first began social lessons with me."

00000000000000000

"Now, repeat after me." The Doctor said, in sickbay. "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain."

"You will be assimilated."

"No, no, no! The rain in Spain…"

00000000000000

"Anything else?" Janeway asked.

Six more seconds of silence followed, in which Tuvok blinked. Finally Peter spoke.

"Who wants ta go on the holodeck–thinggy and play croquet with flamingos and hedgehogs like they do in 'Alice and Wonderland'?"

Everyone shuffled out except the captain and first officer.

"Chakotay I don't think I can do this without a shitload of more coffee! Now we have to save Tom, Harry, and Chris, find out who the schmuck is, fish 300 Borg vessles out of the 21st century, fly around the sector and pick up all of our gel packs!"

"You have been under a lot of stress lately, Kathryn. Why don't you join me for dinner on Holodeck 2 tonight, 0-800 hours? My treat."

"That sounds nice. I'll be there." Janeway left the room.

After the doors closed behind the captain, the person who she'd thought was Chakotay snickered to himself and pulled off the mask.

"He,he. All right!"