A bed. Essential for sleep. A haven to the restless.

The place to indulge in both sweet dreams and luscious fantasies. And as with every being that takes refuge in one during the night, at the first sign of sunlight, it was time to reluctantly begin the day, time to leave its safe confines and go about in mundane tasks.

But for the first time in…for the first time ever, the idea of staying in bed, ignoring the guilty bliss of not working, and enjoying the sweet comfort of a warm blanket wrapped around him like a cocoon actually sounded persuasively enchanting, like a siren song dangerously alluring it's victims, too tired to listen to common sense.

That was how William felt this morning.

It didn't help that Grell was still freely snoozing softly latched on his side, a dab of drool escaping his mouth. Despite it all, it was still such an adorable sight. Of course his resting companion had yet to awake, yet to realize where he was, and who he was with.

Although waking up next to the impulsive redhead wasn't as odd and disturbing as he thought it would have been. It had been strangely…nice, enjoyable even. It was as if a small window into Grell's world had opened, the little world that happened to be Grell's mornings.

One of the small privileges, he supposed.

Awaking from his momentary daze, William sighed, remembering that there was work to be done in the day, but his body would not push itself away from the sleeping enchantress. Upon closer inspection of said feminine person, William realized his own glasses were missing, and upon searching for them in the nightstand, he realized with some grief that he had, in fact, slept with his glasses on, and now they were lost somewhere, possibly scattered inside the tangled sheets.

He carefully shifted himself to sit up, only to find himself unable to, what with Grell hooked to his side like a bass caught in a fisherman's line, and after five long minutes of wiggling his partner off, unable to, William gave up on his attempt.

He sighed once more, frustrated with everything, and so dropped down into the soft pillows with a loud thump. It did nothing to stir the sleeping figure clinging to him though. On the contrary, Grell seemed to have let out a content sigh, unconsciously knowing his source of warmth would stay, and smiling as Will relaxed against his frame.

Fine, he thought, I'll wait. The sun is barely rising, and it's still early…I have time…I can afford to be patient.

He glanced down, squinting to see better at the blurry red in front of him.

It's not like I have a choice. You're not relenting at all.


Light had begun to creep toward his eyes at the first couple of blinks, and focusing back to falling asleep was not working. Grell shakily returned to waking, groaning at the day's start without his consent. Why couldn't the sunrise wait until he felt like tumbling up and out of bed? Why couldn't time just stop for once?

Rousing from his unkempt state, the loss of heat made him shudder involuntarily, feeling a heavy clump slip down his shoulder.

"What's this…?" he said aloud, groggily, turning to see a pair of glasses, rectangular, he could tell through somewhat blurry vision.

Despite being a shinigami who needed glasses to see, like all the others, his vision wasn't as bad. Grell could tell by the shape of the specs that they were William's. But wait, why would William's glasses be on my bed? Grell conjured in confusion.

Unless…

Suddenly he remembered the past night's escapade into William's humble abode. The dinner, the chatting, the horrible headache, and resting in the plushiest bed, Will's bed. Although there was a blank moment in his memory somewhere in between, he couldn't recall much of what happened after the headache, it seemed like a faraway dream now. As if it was a made-up story.

But if that was all correct, the warm body lying next to him had to be William's…

Grell blushed madly red.

To be in the same space as William was normal —he pushed the 'personal space' boundary much too often—, but to be in the same bed was an entirely different type of space he was invading.

Grabbing for the framed glasses, Grell took notice of the absence of clothing on his part with his arm bare, and his eyes grew wide like saucers as his face heated further in embarrassment.

Why am I naked in the first place? Oh, that right! I was naked yesterday too… Did…did Will try something?

Not like he would have ever minded, but really, he should have at least done so while he was awake. What's the point if I can't remember?

Putting on his best morning face, he turned brightly and spoke. "Will, I got your—"

He failed to finish his sentence at what greeted him.

Grell saw, blinked, just in case his eyes had fooled him, then gaped and stared, frozen as he took in the sight of his new partner sleeping, hair tousled and messy. Oh, that's just unfair… He's seducing me in his sleep!

And he continued to stare, absorbing with his eyes the sight of a man flat on his back, legs promptly covered by the thick wool almost perfectly, he noticed. Present to the world, William's buttoned shirt was wrinkled, perhaps with Grell's own habit of fetching body heat.

He was conscious of the fact that he slept clinging to things that heated him up: pillows, stuffed toys, he even once woke up wedged inside his coat closet, several of which had been draped over him. Except that this time, it was a person, a person named William, who might have complained over the two buttons his shirt now didn't have.

It was thanks to those two long-gone buttons that he could happily glimpse at a well-sculptured collarbone hidden underneath. It was, truthfully, the most skin he'd seen from the stoic man, and he possibly was the only one that ever has. Grell wondered how the rest of his body might look, with noticeable red cheeks, but halted after landing his glass-green eyes on his resting colleague's face.

Only two times in his long life had Grell ever seen William asleep. Once, soon after graduating and becoming full-fledged reapers, they were sent together on a rather difficult mission, and he was knocked-out by a spying demon who wanted in on the souls they were collecting.

And second, now in this room, where he was comfortably resting. His clothed ribcage bobbed slowly at every intake of air. He had forgotten how William man looked, so relaxed in this state, it made one question if it was the same man.

It was the eyes, he supposes, that made it so different. His eyes always portrayed everything, his entire persona, made to become the perfect example of the ideal shinigami: cold and collected. And now that they were closed, all that was left was the true Will, one that could show emotions and feel desires. Or at least, that's what Grell hoped was true.

He was almost one hundred percent sure that the usual William wasn't really William.

And it was just such a nice moment, Grell didn't wish to ruin it. He instead pushed himself to lie on his belly, put on William's specs to see better and propped his head on his palms, elbows fixed on the covers. He gave a small toothed smile as he continued to stare at the settled man, pink cheeks and all. The redhead couldn't understand it well, but his heart warmed seeing him, so eased. In return, he felt eased himself.

Love was such a funny thing.

Will appeared to have shifted slightly, distracting Grell from his thoughts. He seemed to have woken up a bit. Pondering a little, an idea came to Grell.

Ah…really, I fell asleep waiting. William moved his head to the side, still drowsy. How embarrassing.

He felt a strange pressure over him, faintly supple. It was enough to rouse him from his hazy state and, stirring near the obtrusive weight, found himself leaning toward it. Opening his eyes to enlighten him, William found himself with Grell merrily on top of him, giving him a very demanding kiss.

His first reaction was to push Grell off, face flush with color, and inch away from contact. After that though, he regretted the action. There was really no reason for him to shove him away.

"I-I apologize…you startled me," he tried to say, but Grell, in the meantime, had busied himself by covering what he could after being tossed aside.

He may have been in his underwear, but a lady has to keep her grace.

"Well, apology accepted. I do scare a lot of people," Grell pouted with downcast eyes. "But, really Will, there's no need to push someone for being affectionate!"

William straightened his back and swung his legs off the edge of the bed. "Your definition of affectionate is the same as molesting, pardon."

An audible gasp escaped Grell at the words. "Oh really, well how do I know you didn't try anything while I was asleep, Mr. Spears?"

His answer was a sputtering one.

"Th-t-that—what do you mean by that?" He jumped, although the correct description would be jerked— possibly even spasm— recognizing his glasses on Grell's face and dove for them. "And these are mine!"

Grell smirked at such an unrefined reaction, laughing as the glasses were stripped from his nose. Perhaps Will wasn't quite 'Will' until he had his morning coffee. He was much more fun.

Not five seconds from his little laughing fit did his flustered associate stand up and head for the door, closing it quite sharply.

"Oh, is he mad now?" The redhead also stood from the bed, sheets all tangled and tossed about, and followed after William. He abruptly halted, looking over an old chair that conveniently had a white shirt hanging on one of its arms. He innocently tiptoed to it, grabbing it by the sleeves.

After putting it on —he had been so horribly underdressed to go walking about—, Grell assumed it belonged to William, since its ends reached past his hips, and his own shirts were fairly tight and never so slack. Reaching the door, he finally glanced around the room and saw just how tidy it all was, well except for the bed, but that was mostly his fault. He showed his way out through the narrow hallway to the small kitchen/living room (really now, why must our living quarters be seldom spacious?), but didn't find him around.

Grell guessed that William must have headed into the bathroom, and so he skipped his way back into the hallway, loving the feel of his bare toes on the carpeted flooring. He stopped midway at the door he ignored before. "Will~, are you in there?" he called, but didn't receive an answer. "Come now, don't be angry, I was just kidding before," he knocked this time, three times before checking the doorknob.

Effectively, it was locked.

"Come on, Will! I'm supposed to be the childish one!" For unneeded emphasis, he began to bang on the door, loudly. On the fourth strike though, William opened the door, making Grell lose his balance and land face first on the taller man's chest.

"Don't do that." He couldn't see his face, being pressed onto a clothed chest and all, but he could hear his scowl through gritted teeth.

Grell slowly pushed himself back, keeping his gaze down to the floor, speaking with a low voice. He suddenly didn't feel so giddy. "I'm sorry, I wasn't serious before…about Will doing things while I slept."

"I know," William answered, his voice the usual stern tone, backing up one step. "You should know that I would never do that."

Grell felt a pinch in his chest as his eyebrows were forced together, hearing that. Does he mean that he wouldn't think about doing those things with me? William, on the other hand, noticed Grell's depressive mood. William fixed his glasses, out of habit, and he sighed for the third time this morning.

"You should know," there was a hand on his lithe shoulder, "that I would never do anything to you without your consent, Grell."

The smaller reaper shot his head up with some glimmer in his eyes.

"Really? Do you really mean it?"

"Of course." William breathed softly, rubbing his thumb over ticklish nerves near Grell's neck. "You looked sweaty, and I didn't wish for you to feel uncomfortable, that's why you're down to your underwear. And I should apologize, the medicine that I had given you…well…it wasn't very tasty, and you thrashed about it… I had to pass it orally to you, so you wouldn't fight."

Between remaining still long enough and feeling a tickle reach up his neck, Grell's face had a small resemblance to being surprised about a joke. He had to pull his hand over Will's to keep his habit of moving his fingers around when he felt nervous. The nape of his neck was fairly sensitive, and William's constant fidgeting didn't help suppress a few coughed giggles.

Grell did feel, though, that his superior's fingers had twitched at the touch of his own, almost shakily.

"Again, I apologize," he finished, deciding to instead grip gradually at the silken shoulder, exposed only because Grell didn't button the first two buttons.

Grell felt a warm feeling spread in his stomach, "You don't need to apologize. Anything that Will could do is fine for me, you have my unconditional permission, okay?" He tilted his head to the two hands, resting his cheek against them, tenderly. Grell fluttered his eyes closed for a second, breathing in the clean sent the toiletries gave.

"Don't be afraid to be affectionate, Will."

Not one second after speaking his mind was he shoved back and out of the personal bathroom, uncouthly.

"H-hey, that was uncalled for!" Grell managed to yell back at the door that was thoroughly closed as he stumbled back.

"Sorry, but please wait there!"

The redhead huffed, not exactly surprised by the action, and not completely convinced to wait either. William had either pushed him out of his personal zone, reminded that Grell was too close for comfort, or he was actually planning on something too big and with earnest, for he forgot his manners.

A pout began to form on his lips. He was a little disappointed, being left outside.

"…Okay," he heard, muffled by the door in between, "you can enter."

Really, why did you have to push me out if I was going to be let in anyway? Grell thought, a little angry. The door was opened, he came inside, and with some hesitation, closed the door behind him. Just in case.

Although after turning around he wished he had prepared himself, for William stood in the middle of the cramped space, which was about two feet apart from Grell's position, sans clothes. All clothes.

"W-Will!" he had turned his head to the side to avoid his stark-naked boss. "Have some decency! Why, in heaven's name, are you nude?"

He was met with a stagnant silence, only interrupted by the sound of the soles of feet patting the tiles, approaching him. Grell still glanced over his shoulder, avoiding contact, face flush a deep color, until two arms pulled him forward, onto a bare chest. He was startled, so his hand had reached up to Will's shoulders to keep them in sight.

It was…warm…and it felt…inept, awkward. Sure, Grell had hugged William plenty of times, and very very rarely did William hug him, but never like this. It was much more intimate, to say the least.

He could smell a bit of honey, although he wasn't sure why.

"Grell, please look up," he ordered, lacking his usual demeanor. And he did as was told, a little afraid of the unexpected.

"I chose to be nude…as you put it…so you will look at me."

At this, Grell rose one fine brow "But…I always look at you," Grell trustingly pondered out loud. His mind was fuzzy and clouded, yet William's arms held him securely in place, protectively.

William shook his head. "I meant…without any of my…'walls', shall we say," he corrected, letting out a breath in a sigh. "…You realize…I'm not very good with words, and emotions. They're useless, unnecessary, frivolous. I'm practical…stern and stiff, to an extent. I'm remarkably strict, detached, there's not one funny bone in my body, I'm sure. That's why when you're around, I don't know what to do." Grell was about to ask what he implied, pure curiosity, really, but the answer came before he even opened his mouth.

"You ignore my cold façade, the push and shoves, even when I said there could never be anything between us, many times. You ignore everything and looked at me with love, for the longest time. I'm not sure whether it's that pride of yours. You're so stubborn when you want something, honestly. Sometimes, I wondered if it's all a game to you, but…you're not the type to fool around with feelings, I know. You're just…wholeheartedly, stupidly blunt with love, as if nothing else mattered, and as if the universe was all ears…and I am, now. I'll listen to you, everything you'll say.

"So I will also try, I'll try to shed my skin, but only for you, because then you'll see that my feelings aren't superficial, even though I won't wish for anyone else to know. I want you to see that for once, I think emotions aren't useless. That I want to be human for you."

Red hair was combed with long fingers, in a soothing gesture Grell thought, after noticing his own vision blur slightly, he felt his arms shaking against the warmth of touched skin. Tears, he assumed, had adorned his features, and William was comforting him.

"And don't say 'what was that' because I'm not repeating myself," Will lightheartedly added, nuzzling into the red tresses.

Grell's breath stifled, chuckling. There was no true cheerfulness, only reminiscing, recalling all those times when William didn't look, when he dismissed him as a bother, a pain, a leech. He never showed it on the outside, but every time such an insult would resurface, it ached, painfully in his heart, cracking, and he smiled brighter, not wanting to think about what he heard, because he only wanted someone to care for him.

It made him cry, thinking that he would never have to suffer through such words again.

It made his chest ache with torment, knowing that he had two people that loved him. That one of them could disappear from his world without a second thought.

Because they felt deceived.

"Please bear with me, while I learn to be human again…" His soft-spoken voice resonated inside his head, spiraling, bringing him into reality once again. Grell clasped the bare neck before him, weeping quietly into his first love's embrace.

"Okay…" Grell chocked, enveloping himself in the open arms with kindness and love, wallowing in his awareness and despair for what the future could hold.

I just hope that you can bear with me.


A week has come and gone after that morning. Not much had changed in the work hours, Grell supposes, besides the occasional happy mood. Truth be told, there are times when his mind wandered dangerously close to the gloom of the 'what ifs'. It was always these 'what ifs' that tortured his mind.

But once those thoughts begin, immediate actions must be taken. So he walked a little around the office, he went to find Ronald, if he's doing paperwork, to chat, to distract himself from the fear, until he forgets what he was worrying about. If Ronald isn't around, then he goes for a cup of coffee with milk, our maybe he should say cup of milk with coffee, to ease the day's weight.

An idle mind is the devil's playground, one would say.

Bu he is especially happy once a day, when he periodically visits Will, normally the others would say.

His heart melts when that particular mask sheds just for him, and he can sit where he wants, as long as it's not on the desk, and he can touch where he pleases, so long as the clothes aren't messed up.

Although, so far, all Grell ever asked for was to sit on William's lap and rest against his frame, comforting, breathing in his scent. And all the senior could do was gently brush his head with gloved fingers, or offer a small kiss on his temples before standing up to continue working. William recognized when Grell wanted comforting.

Gradually, things were changing. He felt much better today.

And today Grell was particularly annoyed, having to 'babysit' one of the newbies, a little revenge from the Higher ups for his mischievous antics, if not just some people skill training for Grell.

Grell wasn't the friendliest sort when it came to newbies.

The freshman in question was three months fresh out of the academy, and his cockiness was as large as a whale. Grell didn't bother remembering his name. He was unattractive, rather bulky, and the plain dark brown hair was messy, too messy for his likings. Of course, even newbies knew of Grell Sutcliff, the redheaded, hot-blooded shinigami who was as gender-confused as he loved red, truer than the blue sky which was ugly to him, so there was some unsure distance present between them.

The boy probably thinks I'm going to eat him or something, Grell would think almost aloud, if not for keeping his mouth at bay. Showing his teeth around also served as a lesson to fresh workers.

Make Grell mad, and he bites.

"Okay, so you just have to write a report after every reaping, got it?" he chided, already tired of the young'un. He was nothing like Ronald when he was new. Ronnie was much more fun…and agreeable. This one didn't really care much about the writing, only the soul collection.

"Yea, yea, got it. Can I go now?" the freshman asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice. Shoes tapped the floor in repetitive motion, showing his boredom.

Oh yes, you can go now, straight down a cliff if you want. "After you do your report, yes." Brat.

A long, frustrated sigh escaped the youth, and oddly then did he remember the kid's name was Adrian. Hmph, not such a nice name…not like Will's or Sebby's…

And to top it all off, the little bastard took two hours writing his report. His grades were right, paperwork was not his forte. Well, not like it wasn't Grell's either but really, two hours for a single soul? William would be abashed at that, about to suggest his face to 'acquaint' himself with the nearest wall. And he meant that William, not the boy, who would go and bash his own head in a greeting gesture to the white, constructed boundary. Good thing we was another division's problem.

During that time, Grell was busy filling his nails, glancing at the youngster every few minutes just to verify that he was doing his work. A couple of times, he caught the boy glancing back, strangely, before jetting his eyes back down on making his report. It made him uncomfortable, really.

The elder reaper cleaned his precious glasses with the red coat's sleeve, noting that they had fogged, and afterwards brought a pocket watch from his trousers.

It was almost two, everyone must be either eating lunch or out on a reaping job. Well, except for William. He only got a cup of coffee and returned to his workplace. Such a busy body. Guess I better check on the kid, he absently thought, looking over the boy from the corner of his eye.

And there it was again, that odd look.

Grell found himself looking away from those eyes. It was…familiar in an unsettling way. He remembered that kind of stare, but his memory faded him on when and who had plagued him.

"So…kid, you done writing? It's been a long while now, finish already, I got things to do." He dared to peek through his red bags towards Adrian, who thankfully was looking at his papers. He may have finished, since the newcomer lowered his quill onto the desk he was occupying.

"I suppose…" he answered unsurely. Grell felt a bit of pity for him then.

He remembered the torturous times when he had to redo a report because it wasn't acceptable. Of course the only rules to it are the basic information: name, mother, birthdate and deathdate, cause of death, some recap of the human's life, a little explanation as to why the human couldn't be saved, important achievements in life, behavior of the cinematic record…well…maybe it wasn't all that basic and easy.

"Is this all, sir?" the brunette asked, rather respectful.

He acted much more docile now. That rung some alarms.

"Yes, you are dispatched now. Just be sure not to cause any trouble for your superiors, got it? That's my job around here," Grell half-joked, half-stressed, beginning his stride away from the workspace cubicles to the lunchroom only a hallway apart. Right now, the current-senior reaper wanted nothing more than to part ways and leave.

Unfortunately, his arm was grabbed before he reached the turn halfway to his goal.

"A-um, please wait, sempai." Ugh, don't call me that. "Why are you in such a hurry?"

Because you're creeping me out, Grell wanted to scream at him, but held it back. "I'm parched, if you will. Good day now," he mumbled quickly, yanking out of the hold, only to be snatched again, perhaps a bit too strongly for his liking.

A low chuckle broke out from the junior, surfacing some distress in Grell's features. "Aha, well, it's only that…I'm sorry, couldn't help but notice, you have a wonderful ass."

He didn't know whether to slap the boy or humor him.

He decided to be indifferent.

"I'm sorry if you confused me for an 'easy lay', now if you'll excuse me," he forcibly pulled his arm back from his captor, "I have things to do."

A hand slammed onto the walk, pinning Grell in place. The action startled him, threatening him to stay down.

"Just where do you think you're going?"

His mind went blank for an instant.

"Wh…what did you say?" His voice quivered uncontrollably, hushed with fear, but not fear for the man before him, fear of a shadow in his life that haunted him, one he could never get rid of. For just one second, he heard a ghost of a voice whispering.

Just where do you think you're going?

Adrian had noticed the immediate change in the previously-adamant man. He took it as an advantage, and delved onward.

"You know, there's quite a few rumors about you, just thought I would check if they're true…but you don't seem to be putting up much of a front."

The taller figure brought his free hand and lifted the redhead's chin, losing his chance with the scared reaper pulling away with a soft whimper caught in his throat, shadowing his eyes with his red hair.

He remembered more, unpleasant words running in his head.

I don't want you to leave just yet, doll.

This was curious. He had heard about Grell Sutcliff being a hotheaded, temperamental and uncivil man-proclaimed-woman, slutty as can be, scary to say the least, capable of biting off a finger if someone started with the wrong foot. He had heard many different stories, some involving demons and some involving major breaching of rules. An untamable beast of sorts.

But he never heard anything about showing fear or cowardice. If anything, he expected this to be a much more violent discussion, or…a much more agreeable talk?

Adrian mentally wondered why his eyes were betrayed, seeing a slightly shaking figure, much shorter than him, in the verge of tears, he guessed since he was unable to see the hidden eyes, and not all that unattractive for him. His expectation was exaggerated it seemed, because right now, the redheaded transvestite was trying and failing to disappear into the wall. I think I should stop, he considers. It wasn't really in him either to push someone when they didn't want to be pushed.

To Grell, there is a hand coming closer, teasingly aiming for his hair.

Come here…your hair's getting in the way…

He hears the shorter male mutter something under his breath, and unconsciously he leaned in to listen, but caught a loud gasp at the proximity and two hands gained impulse to push him roughly back.

"No…s…stop…" Grell murmured, clutching his hands defensively, shaking like a leaf.

The junior felt amiss, not intending to frighten his superior. He took one step forward, wanting to apologize. "Uh…hey, look, I'm—"

He was interrupted by a set of shears and a rough tug.

"Mr. Morris, stop harassing my workers," William practically threw him aside, assuming a defensive stand with his scythe.

"I-I didn't mean it like it looks, Mr. Spe—"

"Leave."

The thunder in his tone was ever-present.

"…O-of course, sir…" the youngster gave before turning on his heel and strutting out quickly.

Not one second after Morris had left his line of sight did he rush to Grell. The still-trembling reaper jerked back from the closeness, hitting his elbow against the wall and he wailed from the jab. William did his best coaxing him to let him near.

"Sutcliff…hey," he called out softly, putting his hands below Grell's sight so the man could see him approaching. "Look at me."

He gently, uncharacteristically, he might have chided, patted Grell's forearm, easing it down on his left elbow, the one he hit. A slight wince from him told it still hurt. Grell's body started to shake violently with his touch, so he brought his other hand up and slithered it to rub in soothing motions his back, slowly, as he hunched to catch Grell's attention. "Look at me, Grell."

He looked up his time, with watery eyes, tears not yet spilled, glossy green boring into him. "W-Will…?" Grell piped up, recognizing the taller figure.

A sigh of relief escaped his self-control. "Yes, it's me."

Without warning, Grell crashes his body against his Will, breaking into a choked sob, grasping the suit strongly with his hands, still trembling. William has to remind himself that it's alright to let him cry on him, even if his make-up would ruin the fabric, or for the unwanted possible interruption by a passing by coworker. There are more important things than his pride at the moment, he would risk his highly-regarded prestige.

He can feel Grell's body shivering with diminishing terror, slowly calming down, as he gasped between sobs. Both his hands held the crying heap now, and the other's body temperature increased. Out of the constant shudders, he could make out Grell chanting 'I'm sorry' over and over again.

"Shh…I'm right here, don't cry…" There was a pain, abnormally strong, shooting up and down his chest. Grell continued to tremble. "It's okay, stop thinking about it… It's okay…"

It pulsed, aching over his throat each time he spoke, hot and stinging, but he tried to continue to relieve him. It's just the cold air, William deluded himself into thinking, as a drop of hot moisture was felt running down his cheek, just like that day, when he found the shattered reaper struggling, lifeless and dirty. But most of all, alone.

William had to remain strong for Grell, he knew, even if he shared some of those anguished memories with him, because he was the only one that bothered to find him, the only one that began to worry about his absence, years ago on that date. He couldn't let the worry and guilt show, and so he quickly wiped his face with his sleeve.

Grell had lived through worse times, but those two weeks will never leave his mind and body, he's sure. Because of him, the evil bastard, Grell was forever broken. On the surface, he's patched up, but there are still some cracks that no one bothers to see.

"Will," Grell started, calming down from his shaking, "don't leave me…"

"I would never even fathom that," he answered, but realized Grell was only speaking to himself amidst his thoughts.

It's always like this when he remembered.

He began to pet Grell's head, much like one does to a puppy, hoping the action would wake him from this state. Grell responded very well to pet-like gestures in this mindset.

"Will…" Grell seemed to have calmed considerably, loosening his grip on the dampened cloth. "Do…do you think I'm pretty?" He whispered, his eyes reddened with his cries, black streaks over his cheeks from tears mixing with his mascara.

He hesitated, at first, to answer. It wasn't like William didn't have the words, he just wasn't very apt at expressing them.

He took a deep breath, bringing his hands to softly wipe away the dirty cheeks, staring at saddened, puffy eyes.

"Grell," he paused rubbing away the streaks, "You're beautiful, like a sculpture by Michelangelo. Don't do this to yourself."

"And…and my hair…isn't it too flashy…?" He shifted on his feet, looking everywhere except at William. "It's too bright…isn't it?"

"No, it's perfect…it reminds me of autumn." He saw Grell scrunch his nose.

"But I'm a winter!"

William couldn't help but flick his forehead, and Grell mewled loudly.

"Why'd you do that!" he yelled, rubbing the red spot that appeared on the center of his forehead.

He was back to being his old self. His good old, protesting self.

"Because you made me worry, you little dolt," William nagged, flicking his forehead again.

"Oww! Stop that!"

"Sempai? …Are you okay?" a peppy-turned-upset voice asked nearby. Ronald had made his appearance, a look of concern striking him.

Grell was about to reply, but William cut him off. "Knox, bring me some wet napkins. I'll be in my office with Sutcliff."

"Um…Okay, sir," the blond told, looking over to his friend. Grell looked alright, but his face looked like hell. He headed for the lunchroom, turning for a second to his two seniors starting off to William's office.

He was curious, and worried, because he spied on them after hearing the echo of William-sempai's voice and Mr. Morris leaving past him with a frown.

Why was Grell-sempai crying?


"I hate this…I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!"

Grell threw the hand mirror to the floor with anger, relishing in the crack that he caused on the object. But it wasn't enough to just crack it. He paced to it and thoroughly stomped on it three times, particularly with his heel, for good measure. William massaged his temples, knowing full well that this was coming.

After the tears, there was always a tantrum.

Grell hated himself after he cried, thinking worse for showing such an unsightly appearance, extra emphasis on 'unsightly'. It was a form of self-loathing, because he bothered to remember something that should long be buried.

For remembering Cassius.

"Sutcliff, stop breaking things! I understand why, but venting anger is worse than keeping it bottled inside!" he argued, jerking him back and holding him in place. He continued his initial task, cleaning off the smudges. "It's not your fault, just sit down."

"Don't patronize me!" Grell shoved the napkin wiping the blurs away. "I don't wanna sit down, I don't wanna talk, I-I just wanna throw things and break stuff! Let me do that!" Grell circled 'round, looking for something small to break, but just turned to the wall and started to punch it.

"Stop that!"

"No!" Grell bashed the wall, loudly, forcibly, wanting nothing more than to see it crack.

"He fooled me," bang, "and used me," bang, "and left me there," bang, "like a rag doll, like a rag doll," bang, "like a scrap of stupid, useless filth!"

"Sutcliff!"

The wall gave a blaring crunch, satisfying Grell's fury. He stopped then, supporting his arms with the cracked wall, hunching over to breathe.

He breathed in panting, fingers twitching in recognized pain. A dab of crimson could be seen staining the black gloves' knuckles. He wasn't angry anymore, just disgusted. He was naïve back then, it sickened him, to trust someone who said pretty words and did loving gestures.

He learned to love select characters, and not let others love him first. It was his choice, no one else's. No one chained him down, no one had power over him.

Never again.

"…I'm sorry…Will…I only seem to show you things you wouldn't like to see." He lowered his spent hands, moving over to his partner. "I don't mean to be so unpleasant."

The last part came out more of a whisper, but it was loud in the deafening silence.

"Sutcliff…Grell," he corrected, "I don't blame you for being angry, I just don't want you to hurt yourself. Look," Will pointed at Grell's red knuckles, "You're bleeding."

"The blood helps." Grell planted his head on William's shoulder. "I stop thinking about it."

William put his heavy hand on top of Grell's head. "Well, it's unproductive," he chided, letting Grell lean on him.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, you sound like a guilty kid." William smoothed the redhead's strands. It wasn't his faculty, but he as slowly becoming less awkward with comforting him with physical gestures. He can finally give him a kiss –anywhere, but on the lips– without feeling coarse and odd.

"Will," he unconsciously leaned to the touch, "You're so sweet sometimes."

"I'm not sweet, I patronize you. You said so yourself."

Looking down, he saw Grell smile, a delight for his eyes. He hasn't admitted it yet, but he loved it when Grell smiled. It was…cheerful. Sunny, even.

"Same thing!" Grell laughed out, feeling this moment was the highlight of his day. "Oh…I love you."

"I know." I love you too.

He wanted to say it aloud, but his mouth was never able to form the words. But someday, he thinks, he'll say it out loud and be happy about it. One day, he'll have the confidence.

Grell knows now that William loves him back, and he's content and happy about it, but admitting it without hesitation to a crowd would make him even happier.

William hoped he gained the courage soon.