Chapter 6: Remembrance
Elphaba woke the next morning before the sun had fully risen and blinked slowly. She didn't get up – her head hurt too much. Instead, she threw the covers over her head. "Ow."
Fiyero's hand found hers beneath the blankets. "Good morning."
She slid her hand away and managed to push herself into a sitting position, grateful that the sun was not yet in her eyes. "Please don't talk to me. I can't think with my head like this." She then swung one leg over the side of the bed. "Ow. Again."
"Are you okay?" He sat up quickly.
She pulled her leg back into the bed and tossed the covers off the bed completely, revealing the blood she had fully expected to see dried on the sheets and her inner thighs. "Not really, Prince Fiyero. I don't remember much, but it certainly feels like you could've been a little gentler last night."
"I'm glad I'm not memorable," he muttered. "But I do remember. And I was very gentle."
"Great," she grumbled. "I look forward to next time." Despite the pain that threatened between her legs, she got out of bed with the intention of getting away from Fiyero.
He grabbed her wrist. "Wait." Fiyero cupped her cheek in his palm. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"Don't worry. It's not hard." She ambled towards her robe, which she couldn't remember dropping on the floor. But it was all of the way across the room so she just decided to sit at the table naked.
"You really don't remember?"
"It's a bit blurry. I remember we were talking about fairytales and marriage somewhere in the middle of that conversation things get fuzzy."
"You shouldn't have had so much wine."
"No. That's exactly why I had the wine."
"Are you going to be okay?" He pushed.
She nodded as she sat down at the table. At some point during the night, someone must've come in and cleaned the wine glasses off of it. "Yes. Most women have to live through this at some point. And it doesn't help that it seems it's true what they say about Vinkun men. I don't know. I might've looked last night, but I don't intend to look now. I'm sure last night was much more fun for you than it was for me. Although that's debatable, because I don't remember much."
Fiyero's face darkened. "I didn't hate it," he said quietly.
"Most men don't."
He got up pulled on a pair of shorts. "I didn't like the part about you bleeding, though."
"I'm pretty sure I didn't, either. I'm not a masochist." She realized she wasn't dressed and got back up. She grabbed the olive oil she'd stolen from yesterday's breakfast and began to clean herself.
"Can I help?" He offered.
"If you want to so badly, why don't you just command me to let you?" She snapped.
"Because that's not what I want."
Elphaba sighed. "What do you want from me? I know what I'm supposed to do, what your father wants. But what do you want? I can't understand you." And in truth, her head hurt so much that it hurt to try.
"I didn't want you to hate me the morning after, that's for sure."
"I don't hate you."
"You don't?"
"As much as I'd like to hate you, Prince Fiyero, I don't. But if you continue to bother me, I might change my mind."
It was an hour or so later when a guard announced Fiyero's father. Elphaba had climbed back into the bed, still nursing her headache. Walking wasn't necessarily painful, but it was a little uncomfortable. She had never pulled the covers back onto the bed, as it was hot and even though she was wearing only her robe, she felt overheated. Fiyero was staring at the chess set, only having just noticed that she'd halfheartedly begun a game twenty-four hours ago.
She would've loved to go back to twenty-four hours ago. While yes, she'd already been a slave, at least she'd been a virgin. And (at least in her mind) her siblings and Nanny had still been alive. And now he she was staring at the man who might be responsible for their deaths.
The man took a quick look around the room. She noted how his eyebrows raised at the sight of the sheets and the bed. His serious look quickly became a grin. "Well, I'm still going to have the medicine woman check her out, son, but I think congratulations are in order."
Elphaba watched Fiyero's face as he frowned and bit his lip. He took a deep breath before speaking. "Do you have to talk like that in front of her?"
"She's a bed slave, Fiyero."
She caught his eye and shook her head. He'd get her into trouble trying to protect her. And she didn't want him to bother.
So Fiyero shrugged. "What do you want, Father?"
"Just to check in." He nodded to his right and the medicine woman came in. Elphaba followed the woman out.
She endured the exam with silence. When she returned to the tent, Fiyero's father was gone.
"Fae, I want to say something. Look, I don't want to treat you like a bed slave, Fae. I'm going to treat you as a friend."
"A friend who's virginity you took last night?"
He looked down. "I'm sorry. For the millionth time."
She sighed. "It doesn't matter. None of it does. This is my life now. I just need to get used to it." She turned away.
He grabbed her hand. "No. I will make you as comfortable and happy as possible. Just trust me."
"That's a little difficult," she informed him.
He didn't respond.
Two days later, they picked up and moved. Elphaba stayed inside in a carriage with Fiyero. They did not speak, but he was kind enough to lend her a book. He had told her to be careful, for she wasn't supposed to read.
When they made camp that afternoon, Fiyero left her. She got up and made another move at the chess table, which the servants had set up exactly as it was when they left. After that, she read his book, jumping at every moment, afraid she would be caught reading. Once or twice a guard peeked in on her, but he announced himself and she was able to conceal the book. Fiyero didn't return until late in the evening, after she'd been served and eaten dinner.
She found it amusing. Fiyero had warned her that she was not going to be given abundant amounts of food, but that was exactly what she was getting. She had seen one or two of the other bed slaves, the king's and the general's. They were much… curvier than she was. Perhaps they were trying to fatten her up. But she was used to meager meals, and eating much more than she was used to made her sick. The man who brought her dinner always raised his eyebrows when he saw how much was left when he returned for her tray.
When Fiyero did return, he said something she didn't expect to hear. "I think we should sleep together again tonight."
Elphaba stared at him. "Why?"
"Well, you were saying a few days ago that this was your life and you have to get used to it. Eventually, we're going to have to do it again. And I've been asking around about, well, you don't need to know the details, but I did talk to some of the soldiers. It's easier on the woman after the first few times. And if you wait too long in between, um, times, it hurts almost as bad as the first time. Sooner or later, it might even feel good for you."
Elphaba didn't know how to react to this. She understood that his intention was to be kind to her, to help her, to please her, even. And his awkwardness in speaking about it sounded endearing. Part of her wanted to thank him, the other part wanted to scream. Instead, she just said, "Can I have just a little wine, then?"
