A/N: I was away at the beach for a week, and couldn't write, many apologies! Also, the lime green bicycle is in "True Friendship", if you've read it hugs for you, if not, go read it! And now, without further ado, the moment you've all been waiting for… the talent show!

Disclaimer: Lalalala RENT, ooh squirrel, anyway I'm too distractible, oooh SHINY, to own RENT. Where shiny go?? Come back shiny, I not eat you, promise!

To The Stage!

Narrator's POV

"Oh my gosh, I can't remember any of my lines and we're next and we're act thirteen which is so unlucky and this is such a bad idea!" Maureen ranted backstage. The bohos were indeed next, but having rehearsed their number twenty three times, not counting little snippets at the lunch table, there was no possible way anyone could have forgotten their lines. Never the less, Maureen just had to find something to be a diva about.

"Mo, I'm sure that you know your lines perfectly, and this song was your idea so it can't be bad. You're going to rock out there, okay?" Joanne asked, hugging her girlfriend. Yes, Maureen and Joanne had been going out together for two weeks.

"Okay." She answered and then, after a pause. "That's easy for you to say, Miss All-I-have-to-do-is-play-piano." Maureen stuck her tongue out, loving to tease her with their little inside joke.

"Fine Miss I'm-such-a-diva-I-can't-stand-it."

"Well, Miss-I'm-a-neat-freak-and—"

Maureen was cut short by the arrival of their drama teacher. "Okay guys," she whispered from the soundboard "get ready for your little rendition of that West Side Story song, you're on in five." The bohos just nodded, trying to conceal laughter. They had tricked their teacher by pretending to do a scene from her favorite musical, while working on their song.

Other than Maureen claiming that she was going to vomit (which she did not), the next five minutes passed uneventfully. When their drama teacher beckoned them onstage, everyone (including our favorite drama queen), felt confident that everything was going to be perfect. They all had clip-on microphones, except Joanne, who had a regular sized one by the piano. Angel stood at the front of the stage while her friends sat at the table and proceeded to introduce their act.

"There was a change of plans, and instead of performing a song from the musical West Side Story, we will be displaying our own talent in a song that we wrote. So I present to you, La Vie Boheme!" Angel announced with his usual enthusiasm. Joanne struck a chord and mouthed to her friends: It's show time!

Mark jumped on the table and began to sing "We raise our glass, you bet your--"

Collins leaped up and covered his mouth, as planed. They did not want to be disqualified that early. He then released his hand and Mark continued.

"--to, La Vie Boheme!"

The rest of his friends joined him on the table and sung with him. The bohos were practically bursting with energy, jumping up and down on tables and singing their hearts out! At one point Collins scooped Angel into his arms and, holding him bridal style, kissed him on the cheek. This was received with quite a few cheers, much to the performers' surprise. It all went perfectly until Angel and Mimi hopped up to sing their part.

"To yoga, to yogurt, to rice, and beans, and cheese, to leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo, to huevos rancheros, and Maya Angeloo."

The teachers at the back of the auditorium where buzzing about what had just happened. Little bits of conversations weaved together to sound something like this.

"Did they say dildos?"

"How could they know what one is?"

"They must have said pillows."

"Pillows, that's right."

Having come to there faulty conclusion the teachers stopped talking and went back to listening to the song, unfortunately, the paid attention just in time to hear Mark yell:

"Mucho Masturbation!"

This really got some attention, but the principal found that their song was very creative and decided to let it slide, so the show went on. But then something was called out that she could by no means let slide.

"To sodomy, it's between God and me, to S&M!"

This was shocking and very embarrassing for Principal Holden, and she began to march up to the stage to stop the performance. But fortunately for our beloved bohemians, this was an extremely large auditorium, so they had a fair amount of time before their song was brought to a close.

"In honor of bohemian an impromptu salon will commence immediately following the show. Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred." Collins said in a mock important voice.

"And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on the High Holy Days!" Roger ad-libed. They had not written this bit, but instead decided to make it up as they went along. Everyone was so busy thinking of something to say that no one except Joanne noticed a remarkably angry principal headed towards the stage. She looked over and caught Mark's eye, and motioned with her head towards the audience, all without missing a note on the piano. Mark immediately saw the sign of impeding doom, or at least getting kicked off the stage, and jumped in to say something about Maureen, and then decided to get revenge on Roger for his comment.

"And Roger will attempt to write a bitter-sweet evocative song." Roger sat down at the piano and played one of the few songs that he had memorized and actually liked. "That doesn't remind us of Musetta's waltz." Mark finished, getting a laugh from the crowd, and which point he showed Roger the principal of doom getting very close to the stage. Collins then said something quickly about Angel while spinning her around on the table top, just as the principal arrived on stage and motioned them off. But our darling bohemians were not done yet. Out of all of the improvising that had just happened, the final bit about Collins had been planned. Although they were backstage they still had microphones clipped on, and knew perfectly well that what they were about to say was going to be heard.

"And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist." Angel began, "Including the hopes of reprogramming the MIT virtually reality equipment to self-destruct and then broadcast the words…" Everyone yelled as loud as they could:

"ACTUAL REALITY, ACT UP, FIGHT AIDS!!" They bohos tried to keep singing, but a switch on the sound board was flipped, and the power to their microphones was turned off. They then turned to face their furious principal and drama teacher.

A/N: Bit of a cliff hanger, isn't it? I had to change a few of the words for it to make sense like the bit about the MIT virtual reality equipment and the impromptu salon. More is coming, including La Vie Boheme B, so keep reading and reviewing.