Chapter Seven

Of uneasy trips to the supermarket, of Maka's newfound ally (the internet) and of some other stuff happening (most of all being filler)

This summer break was the best ever.

Soul didn't bother putting on his badass leather jacket. Dressed in a loose shirt and worn out grey jogging pants, he slipped into his shoes and left the apartment quickly, shutting and locking the door behind him almost silently. It was another wonderfully warm day and still early, it wasn't even nine yet.

He barely repressed a grin as he walked through the sunny and relatively empty streets of Death City. His destination wasn't that far from their apartment and he slowly sauntered through the streets, enjoying the warm rays of the sun brushing his skin and the soft pleasant breeze cooling him at the same time. Although being woken up at an early time even though he had the possibility to sleep longer always amounted to him having a crappy mood for the first hours of the day, today was different.

Today, he was going to buy condoms.

He could jump into the air from excitement. His heart was pounding with his giddiness as he almost skipped along the sidewalk.

Maka and him hadn't really agreed to have sex yet but they had come pretty close and Soul wanted to be prepared and not risk anything. That's why he was on his early way to the nearest supermarket.

He had expected this summer break to pass as uneventfully as every other with maybe a few missions here and there but nothing too much as Shibusen was capable enough to take care of everything even when lots of students were gone. There were enough volunteers, staff members and students, who needed extra lessons, that could take on missions so that everyone else could enjoy a nice summer break. Moreover, if they couldn't handle it, they always could call grumpy students from their break to help out.

So far, Shibusen had not bothered them and the first month of his break passed simply splendidly with him receiving blowjobs on an almost daily basis. It was awesome! And being the cool guy he was, he had made sure she was taken care of too, of course. If only she wouldn't always make thinly veiled attempts at wanting to spit his jizz right back at his face.

This time he did allow himself to grin. Licking Maka was nearly as awesome as having her suck on his dick. Nearly. There was doubtlessly nothing hotter seeing her face twist in pleasure and her moaning his name. He shivered and shook his head with a frown. He had to stop this now or he would be sporting a boner in public if he always recalled his meister's amazing expression whenever she had an orgasm.

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he felt for the leathery surface of his wallet. He had no idea how much it would cost and how much - if - he was going to buy. He felt still a bit queasy about it, basically telling for everyone to see that he was probably going to get laid. It was a very intimate and private thing and he didn't feel entirely comfortable with coming out with it just like that. And what if there was someone he knew? It wouldn't take a lot to put two and two together to come to the correct conclusion of whom Soul was going to screw. He stilled, his good mood morphing into a wave of uneasiness and discomfort. His eyebrows twitched and his lips pulled back into an annoyed snarl.

Screw that! Screw if other people were about to judge and talk about him! There was nothing to feel uneasy about. He was going to get lucky and he was being responsible.

His shoulders arched into a lazy slouch as he opted to ignore the awkwardness that was certain to ensue, regardless of his inner proclamations of self-confidence. He resumed his casual saunter. It wasn't that far to the supermarket.

His eyes lit up and his lips curled into a lewd grin when he reached the supermarket. It was fairly empty, only a few people were there. Yes! The probability of him being seen whilst he was buying condoms was slim…but on the other hand he would stand out much more if someone should be nearby and catch sight of him. Soul had never seen anyone standing in front of the small section for sex products before and as uncool as it sounded, he would have probably curiously watched the guy or girl standing in front of condoms and lubes until they would be gone too.

Quickly retrieving a basket, he resolutely began his mission of buying condoms.

He was sweating slightly as he slowly walked through numerous aisles, purposely making his way longer to his destination. He spent unnecessarily more time in the alcohol section, eyeing various beverages curiously. He really needed to get wasted one time, pity that he wasn't even close to reaching 21. He could faintly recall having spotted a bottle of wine in their fridge, instantly knowing that it had to be Blair who had bought the bottle.

Maka was a lightweight when it came to alcohol. It was no surprise, she was tiny and barely drank anything alcoholic.

He snatched an expensive bar of dark chocolate, a small package of gummi bears in the candy section and walking further along the shelves, he took two bags of chips and placed them into the basket. He didn't want to put himself into the situation in which he would only give the cashier a package of condoms to scan. It would be more inconspicuous if he had more stuff in his basket.

Soul was terribly nervous and with each passing glance into the direction where he would find the section for sex products, he always made a u-turn away from it. With narrowed eyes, he realized that he was now surrounded by feminine hygiene products. Packages of tampons, sanitary pads and products of a nature he couldn't discern and didn't want to discern greeted him, making him recall the one time he had desperately wanted to have some action with Maka but couldn't because she had been on the rag and hadn't been in the mood to give him any attention.

It had been a horrible and agonizing week, which he had only been able to survive by jerking-off on an almost professional level. He already couldn't get enough of the limited sexual activities he took part in. Was this normal? Or was he just a sick and deprived teen? And would it worsen if they had 'real' sex? He gulped and wiped a trickle of sweat from his temple.

Instantly, his brain bombarded him with the most delightful of images ever. A horny and wanton Maka lying naked on his bed with her legs spread welcomingly, spouting the lewdest of words she would never use and telling him that she wanted him inside of her. He clenched his fist tightly into the loose fabric of his jogging pants.

Damn it all! He was going to buy these stupid contraceptives. He made a quick dash for the dreaded section and cautiously scanning the entire area around him, finding no one else in his proximity, he gazed at the shelves with scrutinizing eyes. His initial plan was to just grab a package and leave the supermarket immediately before someone spotted him.

The only problem with that awesome and underdeveloped plan was that he had too much to choose from.

His eyebrows furrowed and he released a strained sigh through his clenched teeth. At least the products were all from the same brand. It would have made any decision-making even more difficult if there had been more brands to choose from. He felt like such an idiot. He should have followed Maka's example and used the internet instead. This was beyond uncool.

As far as he could tell, he could choose from 17 different types of latex condoms (extra thin, extra sensitive, extra sensitive ribbed, tropically flavoured, and so on) and condoms made of some other material, whose name he found difficult to pronounce. And then, of course, he needed to get the right size and he absolutely had no idea what would fit him. He liked to think he was well-stacked, at least not pathetically small.

There was another question. Should he buy lube too? He probably should just in case. But then again, he could just grab some lubricated condoms and maybe ditch the lube completely.

He shook his head, practically feeling how his brain was smouldering at having to think so much so early. Gah! Decisions, decisions. And he sucked at making them. He should have come here more prepared. Ruffling his already bed-tousled hair, he released a sharp breath as he saw a middle-aged woman going past him. He froze on the spot, red eyes never leaving the slightly plump figure of the woman. He prayed that she wouldn't look his way.

But why? He shouldn't feel so self-conscious about stuff like that! He was a cool guy, who was very probably going to get laid. Wasn't this something to boast about instead of hiding it? He gritted his teeth and urged his panicky gaze away from the back of the nameless woman, who hadn't even so much as spared him a glance as of yet.

Shifting from one foot to the other, he gave his attention to the various products in front of him. Frowning heavily and clutching the basket into a firmer grip, he quickly grabbed a rectangular turquoise package. His cheeks tinged a light pink and his frown deepened at his decision for the medium sized, latex, extra thin deluxe condoms.

Maybe it was a pride-thing (it definitely was a pride-thing) but the cool Soul Eater could not just have admitted to himself that he was pretty much average down there, so he simply grabbed another rectangular package with condoms of a bigger size. How awesome would it make him look if he were to say a line like: "Sorry this one doesn't fit. Just let me take the bigger ones."?

Should he buy a size smaller too then, just in case?

He shook his head, dismissing the option entirely.

Waiting at the checkout was such a drag, not only were a few people in front of him in the line, there were also two people behind him. He slowly unloaded his groceries with sweaty hands, making sure to hide the condoms. The line moved quickly and his heart thudded in his chest loudly, making him gulp and tensely move his wallet from one hand to the other in order to give the impression of nonchalance.

When it was finally his turn, the two minutes the cashier needed to scan all the products he wanted to buy and tell him the total sum he had to pay with tired eyes and a very bored voice to match, felt like two hours to him. He startled out of his frozen and nervous stupor and paid. Grabbing his change, he quickly stuffed everything into the cheap plastic bag and left the store with a curt 'Goodbye' without glancing back.

He exhaled with relief as the humid warmth of the sun greeted him outside. He sheepishly glanced down at the bag in his hand, crushed and crumpled in his fist.

The walk back home seemed to pass a lot faster than the way to the supermarket. He felt light-headed and he couldn't keep the persistent smirk from his face.

He had done it! He had condoms! The implications of this new development and what could possibly happen, what he and Maka both would allow to happen, made him slightly dizzy and his smirk spread wider, making him look like deranged maniac. But Soul could care less.

Before he went upstairs, he slipped the two small boxes into the pockets of his jogging pants. Maka was surely going to ask him what made him get up so early and would want to take a closer look at what he had gotten himself. He didn't need her to find the condoms like that and he was without a doubt going to get scolded by her for only buying unhealthy stuff. Maybe he should have gotten something like bread too. Well, it was too late for that now.

"Soul? Where have you been?"

Maka's voice greeted him from the kitchen. Before he could say something in response, she came around the corner, wiping her hands on her apron dry. Her gaze immediately fell onto the pale plastic bag that dangled from his fingertips. "What were you doing at the supermarket so early?"

"Oh you know…just got myself some stuff. What's for breakfast?"

Trying to change the subject when Maka was already alert and suspicious was always futile. This time was no different as she grabbed the bag from his hand and took a look at what was inside before he could voice his protests.

"Soul!" Her eyes narrowed into a disapproving scowl as he glanced down silently, inwardly cringing at what was about to come. "You woke up early for that? Not only are you eating too unhealthily but you never get up early when I ask you to when we need important stuff from the supermarket. You do know that you have to double your training if you are going to eat all of this," she took out a bag of chips and pressed it against his face. He swatted her hand away with an annoyed grunt. He sighed as Maka rambled on and on, putting her hands on her hips and tapping her foot against the floor. She looked kind of adorable but it was also annoying. He was probably going to get a headache and he really was in no mood to argue with her. Why waste such precious minutes with arguing when there were far more enticing things they could be doing with that time, not to mention stopping speech all together?

"And what do you have to say to your-"

Taking a step forward, he grabbed her hips and pulled her close. Her breath hitched and the bag fell from her grasp next to his left foot. It was marvellous what he could do to her now; touching her to shut her up was such a better alternative to yelling at her.

"Soul? What are you…"

"Shut up. You talk too much," he said with a grin and leaned down. Her eyes fluttered closed when their lips brushed. He felt her momentarily tense up in his arms, before she relaxed with a satisfied hum and leaned in more closely, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders. They had definitely gotten better at kissing, they weren't slobbering anymore…. well, at least not as much as before.

He pushed her against the wall, their lips parting shortly before meeting again in a clash of tongues and teeth, and he pushed his knee between her thighs, pressing against her and making her spread her legs farther apart.

"Mmm…Soul," she panted and pressed her hand against his chest, "Soul….wait."

He pulled away, fixing her shuddering and flushed form with questioning eyes. She ducked her head, avoiding looking at him. "What is it? Why are you so shy all of the sudden?" he asked with a wide grin, clutching her shoulders and causing her to meet his smouldering gaze, "Last night you were anything but shy. In fact, if I remember correctly you just-"

"I know, I know!" she pushed him away and did her best to glare indignantly. "We have no time for it now. What's the point of making out when nothing more is going to happen?"

"The point of making out? It's fun?" he said and at her red cheeks, he raised his brows suggestively. "What makes you so sure that nothing more is going to happen?"

"I made breakfast and it'll get cold if we do stuff….and you should take a shower first."

"What? Wow, that's harsh Maka," he turned away from her with a frown.

"You know what I mean, Soul," she scoffed and brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear. "I don't mean that you smell-"

"Whatever."

He discarded his clothes in his room without a second thought, praying that Maka would not go there to see the messiness. Grabbing a towel and some spare comfortable clothes, he passed the short distance from his room to the bathroom stark naked. It was another thing he could enjoy, not caring much about modesty (as long as Blair wasn't around). But lately the cat was rarely seen around here, when asked about it she would coyly reply with, she 'was working on something big'.

Soul did not mind her absence as she wouldn't waste any time in attempting to squeeze as many details as possible about his and Maka's get-togethers from him.

He was quickly done with his shower (which in Soul's world meant instead of spending 45 to 50 minutes in the shower, about 30 minutes. He always insisted on a minimum of 10 minutes).

Maka was already sitting at the table, eagerly munching on the pancakes she had prepared. His mouth watered at the delicious smell and he let himself plop heavily onto a chair with a satisfied sigh.

"Tsubaki called," Maka said after a while as they had been enjoying their breakfast mostly in silence.

Soul looked up, only mildly curious. "Oh? What did she say. How are they doing?"

"They're fine. They'll be back in two days."

"Really?"

She nodded and took a large gulp from her cup filled with green tea. "I'm looking forward to seeing Tsubaki again but I could really do with a bit longer without Black*Star," she said, after putting her cup down. She sighed and propped her cheek against a flat palm, taking a deep breath. "I have gotten really used to everyday being peaceful and calm."

"Don't be like that. Black*Star may be annoying but it is fun having him around."

She snorted loudly. "No, it is not. He's noisy, arrogant and 'fun' means in his case beating everyone up and getting into dangerous situations."

Soul grinned. "As I said, it's fun with him around."

Maka stared at him incredulously and took another sip from her tea. He leaned back on his chair, crossing his arms behind his head and using his hands as a headrest. He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the comfortable silence. Only Maka's quiet slurping noises disrupted it from time to time.

"Are we going to tell them?" he asked without opening his eyes.

He heard her cup making a loud thud against the wood of the table, heard her skirt ruffling with her slight movements.

"You mean about us…having a sexual relationship?"

He gave a sound of confirmation and finally opened his eyes. She looked uneasy and was staring down at her hands on her lap. He patiently waited for her answer. He was unsure himself what to do about their peculiar arrangement. He would probably go with Maka's decision.

"I think it's better if they don't know," she said, biting her lip and then she looked up, eyes hardened resolutely and her lips pressed into a thin line. "It's none of their business what we do privately and besides…they wouldn't leave us alone about it. I don't need to hear them teasing us and telling us how they always had known it would end like this."

"Huh?" His eyebrows shot up and he tilted his head quizzically to the left. "What do you mean?"

"They…well, the girls always tease me about us. They tell me how we are so meant to be together and that we already act like a married couple." Her soft voice had taken a distasteful edge, she sighed exasperatedly as she continued with a groan, her tone bored, "Do you have any idea how annoying it is? Especially Liz! And when she doesn't shut up, Patti joins in, too. Only Tsubaki is considerate enough to take my words seriously."

Well, that was new. Maka had never told him about the girly talks she had with the other chicks. And he had never thought that the other girls thought that way about them.

"Don't let them get to you," he said, grinning at her in an attempt to have her regain her good humour. "You know how Liz is. She always likes to see romantic signs everywhere, even if there aren't any in the first place."

She smiled slightly. "Yes but it isn't just Liz. Tsubaki is also like that. Only more subtle and less nosy."

He hummed, taking all of this in. He would be lying if he had never thought about them being a couple lately. It surely wouldn't seem like a big step, especially now that they had sexual relations but he never thought too deeply about that. Why should he? They had agreed to be nothing more than friends, who were intimate with each other, and much to his pleasant surprise, it worked well so far. They didn't treat each other that different outside the times they touched each other. They still watched a movie together every Sunday, they still went out together and they still bickered and annoyed the living hell out of each other on particularly frustrating days.

But now they could channel their anger in some other activity besides yelling. He grinned breezily and shut his eyes again.

"Don't Kid or Black*Star ever ask you about us?"

She stood up to gather the few plates onto a neat pile. The sudden noisiness and clanking of ceramic made him scowl. Fortunately, there wasn't much silverware on the table as he preferred to eat his pancakes with his hands. It was easier and it saved them from more dirty dishes.

"No," he said curtly, cracking a single eye open. She placed everything into the sink, her movements unusually sluggish and slow. Normally, Maka liked to have things done and clean as fast as possible without any delays, not wanting to waste time she could put to good use otherwise. She was strict like that. "Black*Star is probably too dense to read anything into our partnership or anyone's partnership for that matter. And Kid…just no, he never said anything like that either."

Maka looked thoughtfully at her hands as she let the hot water fill the sink. She turned off the tap and then let the cold water run from the faucet. "I bet Liz has told him about her 'theories' already. Kid is just too polite to bother you with it."

But Soul wasn't listening anymore, he was far too distracted by her skirt, more precisely by her uncovered legs and her nice ass. He gulped, her voice falling onto deaf ears. It was a good think she was busy with the dirty dishes.

His hands itched to touch her again. The pathetic kiss from before was not enough to sate him. He needed to tear her skirt off, needed to grope her ass and wanted her to quiver and scream with every attentive flick of his tongue against her folds. It didn't take long for his head to be filled with images of a nude and lustful Maka.

"Soul!"

He startled and came to realize much to his dismay that he didn't have Maka's well-rounded butt in front of his eyes but her front….not that it was less appealing, really. It took him another second to realize that his eyes should neither be glued to her butt nor to her front and it was only then he lifted his gaze to meet her indignantly narrowed eyes.

"What?" he asked, his voice hoarse and strained.

She gave a grunt and huffed. "You weren't listening to me."

"Uhhh…well, your ass is distracting."

Oh shit! This was certainly not the right thing to say, was it? He closed his eyes, awaiting the collision of a book on his skull for his perverseness. His worries were quickly assuaged when he heard her snort softly and sigh afterwards, completely ignoring the fact that he had been shamelessly ogling her. His tense shoulders relaxed and he allowed himself to open his eyes once more. Yes, he remembered how Maka had admitted to him she might have been guilty of doing the same. His lips twitched. So equal opportunities for both.

"You were saying?"

"Kid also called and asked us to join them for their trip to Malibu. Tsubaki and Black*Star will probably come too."

"Malibu? Nice!"

Maka nodded and grinned. "Yeah, we rarely get the chance to make a trip together. I'm sure it will be a lot of fun!"

"Has Kid already picked a hotel?"

Her grin widened. "We aren't going to stay at a hotel."

He scowled slightly. "What? Don't tell me this is going to be a camping trip or some similar crap."

"Nope." She giggled and flicked his forehead, earning her a disgruntled growl. "We're going to stay at a vacation home. A villa to be precise."

"Seriously? Can we afford that?"

"It is privately owned by Shinigami-sama, so we aren't paying anything for it."

"Awesome."

It was indeed very awesome, although it posed the unanswerable question of why the quirky Death God would need a vacation home in Malibu. The ridiculous image of Shinigami-sama, complete with heavy cloak and goofy mask, lounging leisurely in front of a pool with drink in a large hand and getting a tan was just priceless. It made him smirk. Maka's voice pulled him out of his reverie filled with even more eccentric Death Gods taking tans fully clothed.

"I'll need a new bikini though," she said, deep in thought. "The one I have now is too small."

"Really?" He grinned mischievously, already picturing her in revealing swimwear. "I am always ready to help you with that…you know, I could always give you a once-over and pat you down just to be sure everything fits."

"You're such a pervert."

She flicked his forehead again, the corners of her mouth twitched upward when he caught her hand and pulled her close.

"Says the one who pinched my ass yesterday to get my attention."

"I did not pinch your…butt!" She spluttered and blushed but did nothing to resist his advances and seated herself readily on his lap.

"I'm pretty sure you did."

"I absolutely did not pinch your butt! It was an accident. My hand just grazed you there, if at all." She struck her nose high, haughtily challenging him to prove her otherwise.

"And why pray tell do I have a fat blue bruise exactly on the place on my ass where your hand had just supposedly grazed me? It hurts when I sit, you know."

"W-what?" her blush crawled over her entire face, even turning the tips of her ears red. He snickered at her gaping mouth and mortified face. "Oh…I-I didn't mean to…I'm sorry, I didn't think it was enough to leave a bruise- wait! I can't believe it! You tricked me!"

At his roaring laughter she crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head away with a huff. Oh, this was great. Teasing Maka never failed to amuse him, especially since outside of their little get-togethers she still refused to embrace her inner pervert and clung to her old image of the prude.

"Why are you denying it? Being a pervert is in your genes, Maka."

She gasped in response, glowered down at him, and uncrossed her arms, letting them slide down his chest gently. "This isn't funny, Soul," she growled as her hands crept from his arms up to his shoulders and came to rest at the back of his neck. If Soul still had the ability to think properly, he wouldn't have dismissed the option that she might strangle him with her conveniently placed hands now. But having her on his lap, playing with the tips of his hair and feeling her soft breath against his lips with her face so close to his made that impossible for now.

He grasped her hips, positioning her more securely on his lap, and Maka closed the small gap between their lips. His heart rate skyrocketed the instant he felt her soft flesh. It was unbelievable how this woman was driving him crazy with such a simple touch, although he had been completely adverse to having Blair shove her entire naked body against him. One would think he would be completely desensitised after practically having seen it all over the years.

Maka was quite impatient today, he noted, slightly surprised and very happy. His shirt was gone in a matter of seconds. She practically devoured his lips, her tongue plunging swiftly into his mouth and pushing against his own fervently. It didn't take them long to discard Maka's shirt and bra, their hands were more proficient with that now, more certain and definitely quicker. Their touches became rougher, more curious and hungrier for more skin.

The chair fell down noisily as they clumsily stood only to sluggishly make their way down onto the floor. The tiles were cold against their heated skin. Maka let out a hiss when he pushed her on her back. Her eyes were glazed over and hazy with lust, her lips were parted and she looked fucking irresistible. He tore off her skirt and panties without a care in the world, didn't care even when she scratched his neck as retaliation for the loss of another few garments. It was beyond his grasp why she was so furious about that, she looked the best completely naked anyway.

He touched her everywhere, running a hand through her soft hair, marvelling at how it spilled onto the pale tiles like a smooth waterfall. He stroked her cheeks, kissed her mouth and played with her enticing tongue. Her neck was long and smooth, her pulse was powerful beneath his fingers; his hands travelled a quick path down, her skin was mildly sweaty and warm, burning the tips of his fingers.

She moaned contently when he palmed her soft breasts, her nipples already hard and sensitive.

"S-Soul…mmmh…I…I…n-"

He grinned against her thigh as he trailed kisses up and down it, his fingers feeling her strong muscles tense when he pulled one leg over his shoulder. His tongue followed every little press of lips with a wet flick on its own, Maka's cries of pleasure becoming more urgent and needy.

"Soul…it's…c-cold!"

"What?"

"The floor…it's too cold."

She didn't need to say anything more. Oh, he knew how she would feel warmer. A change of location was needed. Right now. He scooped her up by her hips and instead of making the relatively long way to either of their bedrooms, he hoisted her up on the table right next to them.

"You can't be serious, Soul!" She squeaked as he gently pushed her by a shoulder, making her lie down on the wooden surface. "We-we eat here!"

"So," he kneeled down on the floor, ignoring the coldness of the tiles. The position was unpleasant and was doubtlessly going to hurt his knees but any possible discomfort was forgotten when he spread her legs far apart. He looked up, their eyes met. "You don't like it, you stop me."

They held each other's gaze for a moment, daring the other to break the contact. He blinked. She blinked.

She sighed and eventually lay down again. "You're going to pay for this, Soul."

He puffed against her leg and smirked. "Looking forward to it."


"We should get cleaned up," Maka mumbled against his shoulder, a sleepy arm draped over his chest as they lay there together on their dining table, sweaty and hot and their throats sore. "Blair might come and find us like this."

"Hmm…let her."

Soul was too tired and too content to let the cat or Maka's worries interrupt this moment of peace. That the table was hard and wooden and uncomfortable was something he had long forgotten, instead he enjoyed how Maka was pressed against him, her skin warm against his and her breathing against his shoulder soothing. As much as he would love to stay like this, he knew Maka wouldn't let them. He sighed and stroked her upper arm absentmindedly, drowsily staring at the clean drying plates, which she had washed before.

"We're cuddling," she stated blankly, making him cringe and release her arm. She quickly let her own arm drop to her side, he instantly missed her warmth, suddenly feeling cold. He wanted to say something to make the moment less awkward but she beat him to it. "Remember what we agreed to: no cuddling."

Ah yes, he faintly remembered the few rules they had established in this ill-defined relationship of theirs (he loathed the term friends with benefits). No cuddling being one of them and another being no public display of this newfound intimacy. He was sure that there were a few more but he couldn't remember.

If they hadn't established the no-cuddling-rule, he would have probably never realized that he was in fact a cuddle-whore. Not cool. Maka shifted beside him, her legs smoothly sliding against his as she stretched, sighing as she stood up.

Soul allowed himself a moment to gaze at her body adoringly, he never could get enough of her. How could he ever tear his gaze away from her amazing body? Slowly, he too heaved himself into a sitting position and left the table, starting to gather his discarded clothes and intently watching Maka do the same, swallowing hard when she bent down to pick up her skirt.

It was crazy, really. Whenever he saw her, he wanted to touch her. And not only in the sexual sense. He would also be very content with a simple hug, or just a brush against her cheek, or merely a peck against her lips. His breath caught in his throat when she turned around, holding her clothes in front of her but not positioning them so that they could cover her nude body. In fact, she seemed to be as distracted as he was. He found it hard to breathe, clenched his fists and let his shirt drop to the floor.

He wanted her. Wanted to hold her and look deeply into her eyes and tell her-

Wait!

Those were dangerous thoughts. Why was he thinking them in the first place? He shook his head, shredding these fickle emotions. He was aware how he would jeopardize everything if he allowed them to venture further.

"Soul? Is something the matter?"

He shook his head and ruffled his hair. "No, everything's fine."

As suddenly as the thoughts had crashed down on him, they vanished as suddenly. He slipped on his boxers but left the other garments on the floor, ignoring Maka's disapproving frown.

His throat was parched and dry and the three steps more to the sink were three too many for him so he settled for scanning the fridge for a cool drink. He trembled a bit as a wave of coldness wafted over him. He really should have gotten some drinks from the supermarket too, the only thing they had left was a carton of milk. He shrugged. It had to do for now.

Languidly grasping the half-empty carton, he took large and loud satisfying gulps, the slithering and cool sensation down his throat making him shiver and sigh.

"What are you doing, Soul?"

He took the carton away from his mouth and wiped the thin stripe of milk above his lip away with the back of his hand. There she stood just a few steps away from him, in nothing but her bland white bra and panties and although her underwear wasn't particularly sexy, especially compared to the deliciously red lingerie she had worn once, her creamy skin and her soft curves were enough to make his mind go completely blank. It took him another few seconds to slowly realize that Maka was sounding annoyed and another few seconds to guess why.

"Right. I'll get a glass right now. No drinking from the carton."

In a matter of milliseconds said carton was rudely snatched from his hand, leaving him only air to grasp.

"No milk for you, no dairy products at all to be precise."

"…"

"They make your ejaculate taste bad."

"…"

He looked at her as if she had sported another set of legs from her back.

"And you should stop eating fish too."

The thick fog of Ultimate Confusion cleared at that particular sentence. No fish, she said no fish for him. NO fish! Was she out of her mind?

"What the hell, woman!"

"You are going to change your diet. If you eat healthier, the taste of your ejaculate will improve…so-" she tapped a finger against the carton of milk in her hands "-no dairy products and fish and no alcohol and fast food either."

And she rambled on and on and he shut her voice out completely when she started to speak about some chemical processes in his body and how they affected the taste of his jizz. There was that stupid feeling again, the urge of wanting to have the ground underneath him swallow him whole so that he wouldn't be faced with such a mortifying conversation.

"Maka…" she fell silent and her apprehensive gaze awaited his next words cautiously "…Like hell I am going to stop eating."

"I'm not telling you to stop eating, Soul," she tiredly said with a frown, "I'm just telling you to change your diet into a healthier one."

"No, you're telling me to stop eating and drinking any dairy products. Do you know how much stuff is made of milk? And no fish? Seriously? Get real. Are you really expecting me to stop eating my favourite dish for such a stupid reason?"

"Stupid reason?" Maka snapped. "Have you ever tried drinking bleach?"

"What has that to-"

"Just try it because you taste like bleach."

He spluttered and gasped and slapped a hand against his forehead. "You…you don't have to swallow, I told you so before."

Honestly, could this conversation get any more awkward and humiliating? In a split moment of madness, he glanced at the floor in hopes a hole appearing to make him vanish from view and this conversation. No such luck. It was ridiculous. There they were standing in the kitchen half-naked having an argument about his choice of food because his jizz tasted bad.

"But you like it, don't you. I mean when I…swallow," she looked down to her feet with a bright blush spreading across her cheeks. Hissing, he found his gaze following the same path. He watched her bare toes wiggle nervously as he shifted from one foot to the other. Silence….then, "And don't worry, I'll change my diet too. It would be unfair to make you go through it all by yourself," she said with a timid smile, gazing at him from under her long lashes.

"And it is not unfair that you don't ask me what I think about all of this? It's not a decision you can make on your own and just expect me to bow to your every whim."

Not that he wasn't already bowing to her every whim. Soul doubted he would have been as adverse to her idea if she had just asked him if he were ready to change his diet, but coming to him like that and stubbornly demanding him to do as she said was not something he could agree to so fast.

"Okay, maybe I was a bit too pushy and sudden," she muttered awkwardly. "But will you consider it at least?"

Large, beautiful green eyes pinned him onto the spot, pleading and demanding and hoping, all at the same time. He sighed heavily. He couldn't say 'no' to her.

"Yes, I'll consider it. But don't bash my head when I don't want to in the end."

"I wont, I promise," she beamed happily, eyes sparkling with mirth. "And it's not like you have to keep up with such a strict diet every day. Whenever you eat or drink something it takes 12 to 24 hours to secrete out of your body so if we do a bit of planning…"

"I still haven't agreed to it Maka and besides we kinda jump each other at every opportunity and spontaneously…so planning ahead becomes kinda moot."

She pressed her lips together, stilling her babbling instantly. She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well, yes, you're right. We'll just buy lots of fruit, which should also improve taste and…and peppermint and lemon make ejaculate taste sweeter."

"How do you know all of this?" he asked, getting more and more the impression of being about to be used as some sort of guinea pig if he agreed to her strange changes of diet.

"Internet."

Of course. The internet, the great source of all knowledge, false or right, had become some sort of heaven for Maka Albarn.

"You do know that there's also a lot of shit on the internet. Are you sure what you're always reading isn't some made up stuff?"

She blinked. "No, of course not! Who do you take me for? I don't go to just any random site."

"Right. Sorry for doubting your prowess with handling the internet," he muttered lowly.

"Soul…" she warningly trailed off, fixing him with an intense gaze.

He stretched his arms over his head, sighing at the pleasant feeling of his muscles stretching. "Whatever, tiny tits. I'm not in the mood for your lectures about how to make jizz taste better."

She gasped loudly, which Soul simply took for another unreasonable wave of embarrassment and maybe even annoyance.

"Tiny tits? Really Soul? Even after you have touched them and had your fun with them you still make fun of my breasts," she growled, her fists clenching tightly and her arms quivering with her calm fury.

He groaned exasperatedly. "So what? Your breasts are small, it's a fact. And it is not meant as an insult."

"I might have not taken as an insult if you hadn't said it to so derisively."

"My bad. Sorry. Next time, I'll try to say it more nicely." He rubbed his eyes, fatigue setting in again.

"You're not taking me serious."

"How do you know?"

"Stop mocking me! It's a big deal for me and you have always made fun of my body. And now you just expect me to shrug your words off?"

"Well, yeah."

"You're unbelievable!"

He closed his eyes automatically and raised his arms in front of his body, bracing himself for a Maka-Chop. But it never came. Slowly and tentatively, he reopened his eyes, dubiously noticing how Maka hadn't moved an inch and despite the lack of the brutal violation of his skull, she was still glaring at him murderously. Was that steam coming out of her ears?

"What? No…Maka-Chop?"

"When was the last time I hit you with a book, you idiot?" She sighed, the anger draining from her face to make way for an expression he found more difficult to deal with. She frowned sadly and wrapped her arms around her chest. "I promised I would never hit you again. Remember?"

He blinked dumbly. Now that he thought about it and recalled her promise, he indeed came to the realization that Maka hadn't used a Maka-Chop to get her revenge since that day. The only thing he remembered was the half-hearted smack against his arm from time to time, which he usually returned without thinking twice about it. Truth to be told, he hadn't been able to pay a lot of attention to her promise because he had been more occupied with the fact that Maka had been crying and begging him not to leave her.

Way to make him feel shitty now. But still! She was exaggerating. It's not like he meant it as an insult and hadn't he made it clear enough that he loved her body after a month of heavy petting and oral sex? This was just stupid.

"I still don't see what the big deal is. You shouldn't be so sensitive about it. It's not cool."

"No big deal?"

Ah there was it again, that furious spark in her eyes, simmering with the intent to slaughter. This was more familiar. This was good…or not. He wasn't so sure now. She did look quite scary…even in underwear.

"No big deal, you say?" She bowed her head, blonde bangs falling over her eyes, shielding them effectively from his view. "Maybe you're right, Soul."

"Huh? What?"

Was that really happening? Or was he hallucinating?

And then she looked up, smiling. It made him take a few steps back. This wasn't a smile of politeness or happiness or what have you. It was strained and looked almost cruel. Was she going to break her promise of no Maka-Chops? Had he pushed her buttons too much? He gulped, ready to run for his life.

"Maybe I really am overreacting. Maybe I am too sensitive."

She sighed, watching him fidget and panic with amusement in her green eyes.

"Whatever. I'm going to take a shower now."

And with that she turned around, leaving him to stare at her retreating back with a flabbergasted expression and gaping mouth and before he had so much as time to feel relieved that she had not Maka-Chopped him, she paused at the door, her hand on the doorknob and some of her earlier discarded clothes bundled under her other arm. She looked over her shoulder. "Oh and I've always wanted to say this: You have a small dick."

With that she was gone

He remained there rooted on the spot, his mouth hanging open and saucer-eyed.

What? She couldn't have probably just said what he believed he had heard? No way! She…she…no…just…never. His dick wasn't small! Or was it?

Just to make sure, he pulled his boxers down, getting a good look at it. He bit his lip uncertainly, her words still ringing in his ears. Was it possible to inflict physical pain on someone with nothing but words?

His dick wasn't small, damn it!

Or…maybe he should have bought the smaller sized condoms from the supermarket just in case. What had she done to him?

Fuck this! He'd rather be on the receiving end of thousand Maka-Chops than this.


A/N: First off, sorry that this chapter took me so long. I was uninspired and the moment I finally finished it my laptop decided to give up and now it has to be repaired (Why laptop, why must you be so cruel to me? Haven't I always treated you well? Okay, maybe I did let you fall down a few times but still!) Secondly, I know that this chapter is quite boring and I struggled quite a bit to make it remotely interesting for you guys, I hope I succeeded somehow. And thirdly, I will be spending the whole of July in Turkey. Yay! I love Turkey but I don't know if I'll be able to update then, I'll try but I wont make any promises.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter