Author's Note: You know how I promised this chapter would come sooner? I wasn't able to write anything for a while after that. I would have following the season finale, but the was an absolute disaster that we won't even discuss because you all know what happened. My only hope is that this will make up for some of it. Also, please know that the next one will be up much sooner, and with any luck it'll be within the next week.
It was a bright and sunny afternoon and getting out of the house seemed like a good thing to do, so when Addison called and invited her to lunch Izzie wasn't about to refuse. Her strength wasn't completely back to normal but she was trying to push through. Even though she hated to admit it, the transition in her life was proving to make her feel a little restless. In the time that she'd been staying with Addison she'd already cleaned the house a few times (it was, after all, only a respectable thing to do considering she'd basically moved in with no real notice) several times and had read a few of the novels that happened to be lying around. Eventually she'd have to move on and find a way to at the least find a job nearby, provided that the treatment worked. It had to. She felt herself healing day by day, but it didn't stop her from feeling like she'd never quite reach the point where everything felt "right".
"Iz?" Addison called, nudging her arm as she watched Izzie taking a sip from her drink. "Are you ready to order?"
She blinked a few times, shaking her head to clear the thoughts that jumbled around. "Um, yeah." she replied noncommittally before glancing down at the open menu before her, pointing to something as the waitress scribbled on her order pad. "Can I get that one? Oh, but without the onions please?"
Addison studied the way she seemed to be averting her gaze, more withdrawn than usual, and she began to wonder if inviting Violet along this time had been such a good idea. It wasn't just because of whatever was going on with Izzie. Kissing Pete was something admittedly unexpected and it had happened in the heat of an emotional moment, but she couldn't deny the fact that a part of her had been perfectly content in the feel of his lips pressed to hers as he held her close. While she didn't think it would ever become an issue, the fact that Pete had Lucas because of the woman sitting to her left was something she didn't know how to process. There was nothing between them anymore but it didn't stop her from knowing that there once had been.
Violet gave her order as well and watched their waitress walk away before averting her gaze to the street. It wasn't like she didn't want to be there; Addison had asked for her help and from everything she'd heard Izzie was a strong woman who maybe needed a little nudging to open up and heal. She had experience in the area as she had only began her own recovery. The attack was well behind her and she was content in living the life she did, but she still couldn't help but wonder how different her life would be had it never happened. While it was impossible to tell, she wondered if Izzie was thinking the same in regards to the cancer.
"So, how's the office?" Izzie prodded, partially to break the silence their table had fallen into but also to distract herself. The night before she'd been on the phone with Meredith talking about a variety of things, but along the way something happened. Words couldn't describe the feelings that ran through her after Alex grabbed the phone and started speaking to her. Relief? Panic? A bit of both.
Violet shook her head before taking a sip from her drink. "Oh no, no work talk, please. This is strictly a work-free zone until we leave."
Addison had passed by her office that morning and had seen her working with an apparently difficult patient. It wasn't any wonder that she wanted a break, even though she knew it was more than that. She shot her a smile and nodded because after all she'd had a fairly easy morning save for a few routine appointments, and given how the night before had ended the last thing she wanted to think about while eating lunch was her patients. "Violet's right. Besides, you've been there before, so you know how we've gotten into lulls in which we don't really have many patients. Today's been one of those days."
"Oh." Izzie replied, a bit deflated. She was a doctor at heart, no matter how much she needed a break from it all, and the possibility of hearing about another case had gotten her excited.
"There's no need to be disappointed, Iz. Slow days mean we're doing our jobs right." Addison replied. Just as she finished speaking the sound of her cell phone ringing broke through the air. Sighing, she fished through her purse and squinted at the number with a look of concern. "I need to take this."
Violet watched as she got up and walked a short distance away, further away from the noise of the busy lunch crowd. "So, how've you been? You look better today. I mean...you know, that's not to say you've ever looked bad, but-" she laughed before reaching for her straw wrappers, folding it together and pulling it apart as she realized how much what she wanted to say wasn't coming out right.
"Don't worry about it." Izzie offered at her obvious discomfort, cutting her off with a shake of her head before stealing a glance at Addison who had their back to them, her shoulders hunched. She knew that look. "She's going to leave."
"You wanna just tell them we want everything to go? I know she was your ride here, but I could take you back home if you wanted." Violet offered. What she didn't want was to do was make her feel uncomfortable and she knew that if Addison was getting called to her real reason for coming would become more obvious.
"You're a therapist, right?" Izzie asked, not looking at her. An idea had been forming; something about the way the whole lunch had been set up. "Addison asked you to help me."
It wasn't a question and she wasn't looking at her, but Violet still nodded. "She might have suggested that you could use someone to talk to, yes. I don't have to if it's something you're not comfortable with."
She had to admit she wasn't surprised. Ever since she had arrived Addison began doing everything she could to help her, even if it meant going about it in a way that should probably annoy her. Strangely enough, it didn't. What Izzie felt was something decidedly different, though she couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was she was feeling. Addison was heading back to the table, so she picked up her glass with a shrug, finally looking back at her. "I guess we'll have to see, won't we?"
Addison tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and offered a smile of apology. Outside, she was a calm and poised doctor about to go and operate on someone. On the inside however, all she could think of was how the night before had ended. How hard she'd fought to save everyone and how in the end she'd failed. "That was the hospital. A woman that's about seven and a half months pregnant was just involved in a car accident not far from the hospital. They wouldn't tell me how bad it was, just to get there as soon as I could."
"So much for lunch, huh? I'll have them bag it for you." Violet offered.
"Thanks, hey-" Addison paused, adjusting her purse strap as she pushed in her chair. "Do you...I mean, I hate to ask, but could you make sure Izzie gets home okay?"
"I'm right here, you know. I hate feeling like I'm just a kid being carted around." Izzie quipped. It was the first hint of anger she'd shown all day, so the other two didn't know how to properly respond.
"I'm sorry, Izzie. I just want you to-"
"-be careful. I know, Addison. Now, you need to go. Save a life." Izzie replied, the annoyed look from just a few moments before replaced by one of concern.
Hours slowly ticked by. The woman from the car accident ended up needing surgery but eventually any damage done was repaired, and she along with the baby would be fine. Addison finished up work at the hospital before returning to her office in the late afternoon, feeling grateful that she had no other patients for the day. She'd barely had a chance to think all day. The prospect of filling out paperwork or returning a few phone calls would have bored anyone else. To her, it was a practice she could get herself comfortable in. She could slip off her shoes underneath the desk and open a can of Diet Coke, relishing in the quiet organization that was the business side of her career.
Eventually the light started seeping out of the sky and only a pale orange glow remained, and she had to force herself to leave. It wasn't like she didn't want to go home but the last couple of days hadn't been easy. The stress was starting to take a toll. After collecting her things she made her way out and to the elevators, jumping back a little as the doors opened without her touching any buttons. "Oh-"
"Addison? What are you still doing here?" Pete asked, cradling Lucas in one arm as he made his way into the lobby.
"I was just finishing up some things. What are you-" Addison paused. She felt a little ridiculous at not knowing what to say to him. They could act perfectly normal as if nothing had happened, right?
Pete smiled a little, finding her obvious awkwardness a little endearing. "I just needed to pick up a few things to work on."
"Oh. Good. That's good." Addison stammered. Her voice was clipped and she could feel her cheeks turning the slightest shade of pink, and she was thankful the light was diminished enough for him to not see it.
"Listen, Addison, about yesterday-" Pete began in an effort to clear the air. "I'm sorry I kissed you. I took advantage of the situation, and I'm sorry."
She stared back at him blankly, unsure of how to respond. It wasn't like kissing him had been a bad thing, even though it had happened unexpectedly. "I'm...not."
"You're not?" Pete asked, arching an eyebrow in surprise.
She laughed and shook her head, eyes focused on the tiled floor as she collected her thoughts. Even if she'd wanted to, she couldn't ignore how being that close to him if only for a moment made her feel. "Do you want to come over? I mean, if you haven't had dinner yet, I was planning on cooking up some pasta."
"If you're inviting me, I don't see why I shouldn't." Pete replied. He couldn't deny the fact he was a little taken back by the idea, but he wasn't about to complain.
It was sort of like taking her first step on a balance beam; she could see the other side and if she turned around she could see where she'd come from, but all she could do was put one foot in front of the other in hopes of not falling off completely. "Are you sure Lucas will be okay?"
"Yeah, he'll be fine." Pete answered. He tilted his head in the direction of the elevator. "When should I get there?"
Addison smiled, pleased that so far she was doing everything right. "Whenever you're done here. I'll see you soon?"
He nodded as he watched the doors sliding shut. "I'll see you soon."
There were times when she hated surgery. As much as she thrived on it and considered it a way of life, the fact that it could keep Derek away for so long was something she didn't like in the least. It didn't help matters that she couldn't do much, what with just recovering from her own procedure. She looked up from her book at the sound of her bedroom door being pushed open.
"I need to talk to you." Alex spoke, as if that explained the way he'd suddenly burst into the room.
Frustrated, Meredith tossed her book to the side. "You can't knock? What is so important-"
"Where is she?" Alex asked, careful to keep his voice even. "You've been talking to Iz for a while, haven't you? Where'd she go?"
She knew it would happen eventually. Eventually was happening a lot sooner than she'd planned, leaving no real time to come up with an excuse. "She's fine where she is, Alex. Just give her a little time."
"Is she taking her medication? What is she doing for treatment? How could you be talking to her and not tell me, Mer? I thought we had an understanding here, but I guess I was wrong." Alex ran a hand through his hair, exhausted and completely awake at the same time. The image of Izzie huddled in a bed somewhere under covers that weren't quite warm enough, tears staining her face flitted through his mind. "What if she's hurt? How are we supposed to help her from here?"
"Alex!" Meredith cried, cutting off his rant before he had a chance to go any further. She sighed and ran a hand over the comforter. The concern in his eyes was evident and she couldn't help but wonder what Derek would do if they were in this position, although she hoped she herself wouldn't have felt the need to run. "She's fine."
He swallowed a few times and started pacing at the foot of the bed. Why hadn't she called him? Did she think he was still angry with her, or did she still blame him? "I just need to talk to her, Meredith. I need to know."
Meredith watched as he stopped, hands on his hips, as if he was prepared to fight for the answer he needed. She took a deep breath, praying that she wouldn't soon regret it. "Izzie's in Los Angeles, Alex. She's with Addison."
It probably should have crossed his mind to ask why she was with her. He probably should have asked for more details but he was already heading for the door.
"Wait!" Meredith exclaimed, panic rising from within. "What are you doing?"
His hands gripped the door frame tightly as he turned back to look at her. "I'm going to L.A., Mer. I'm going to find her."
