7) Chapter seven: Young at heart.
Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or any of its characters.
Sesshoumaru really left and, even though, Hosshimaru was more than capable to organize the search in Aokigahara in a month's time, she still couldn't believe he left in such an important time. He's so selfish and childish and stubborn. But Hosshimaru was angrier about the fact that he left Rin feeling guilty over something that was not her fault. The girl only wanted some answers, answers that I, myself, want. Hosshimaru didn't understand either why Sesshoumaru refused to ever telling anyone outside the castle about their son. She understood that he was in no talking manners with InuYasha and could find it unnecessary to tell them. She understood that, while Rin lived in the village, she was in no need to know and that if she never asked, then he could never tell. But she thought he could have them met when the girl came to the castle, and it was many days after that Rin found out. And it was sort of an accident, as I thought Takahiro was being bathed and not in my room. She must have had quite a shock to find out about Emi and Takahiro, all in one day. It was a shock indeed and the fight with Sesshoumaru only made it worse. Rin locked herself in her room for more than a day, until Hosshimaru dragged her out and ordered her to get back to her training, The girl started training, eating, and getting to her lessons, but she was not the same. She was completely depressed, only the kids could make her smile a bit. But Hosshimaru was sick of it and today she was going to sit her down and could try to understand why she was acting like the walking dead. The demon had heard the pair's argument and it was not nearly near any of the fights she have had with Sesshoumaru.
"Good afternoon, Hosshimaru-sama." Rin saluted in her new depressing way. Today they were supposed to study dining etiquette, but she decided to postpone that lesson for a more important talk.
"Come, Rin. Have tea with me." Hosshimaru picked up her cup and took a sip; she unlike other demons has a liking for some human food like tea, especially the fruity ones.
"What about the lesson?"
"Today we are going to learn how to drink tea." She said with a smile hoping to receive one in return. Not such luck.
"Ok." Hosshimaru sighed and set down her cup. Rin sat in the cushion in front of her. They were in her study and outside the wind was blowing softly, the birds were singing, and, overall, was a beautiful day. "Let's get this outside. It's a beautiful day to spend it within walls." She called for a servant to take their tea to her garden and they went down through the stairs in her balcony. The demon saw as the human girl sipped her tea and looked at nothing in particular. "Rin, please, I don't like you this way."
"What do you mean, Hosshimaru-sama?"
"This! You're not smiling or laughing or speaking! You… you are like an anti-Rin! Why?"
"I'll try to smile more. I didn't realize I was being impolite."
"What? No, no, no. You are very polite, that hasn't change. But why aren't you laughing or speaking more? I don't think I have heard you say more than a few sentences in three days. Are you depressed over something?"
"Am I drinking my tea correctly?"
"Don't change the subject."
"I thought this was to be a lesson on how to drink tea."
"Don't play dumb, you know there's no such thing as drinking tea lessons. Just don't make sounds while drinking it and you already knew that. Answer my question, Rin. Are you depressed?"
"I don't want to talk about this."
"Please Rin, let me help you."
"Why?"
"… You said it yourself, we are… friends. Friends help each other, right?"
"They do." Rin gazed at Hosshimaru and saw true concern in her eyes. "I'm not, exactly, depressed. I'm just acting my proper age. I realized that I'm not longer a child and that if I want others to treat me as an adult, I must stop acting childish."
"Is this about Sesshoumaru calling you childish? Because your said it, he's childish." Rin flinched, it seemed she didn't want to talk about Sesshoumaru. "And being a happy talkative person is not childish. It's being Rin. Be yourself! You are a mature young girl and you're privileged for being able to maintain some of your child self with you. You are young at heart, but know when to behave as a responsible adult and when to let go and be a playful girl. Don't lose such a precious thing for some silly comment of an angered, stubborn, and stupid demon." Hosshimaru gazed at Rin's sad eyes and saw that the girl was getting the message but it still wasn't enough. "I realized I never actually thanked you for saving my life. Not only for that, but you have helped all of us very much. You helped all of our wounded soldiers and because of you, we know there are demons from the east hiding in Aokigahara. Since you came here, you have helped us all a great deal and have made our lives quite shiny with your politeness and, your so call childish, smiles. No one here smiles much and even less in wartime. It doesn't matter that we are demons, we still need a source of happiness from time to time, you know. It's one of the reason Sesshoumaru didn't let you go. He may not show it, but he likes them, the smiles."
"I know." Rin whispered. "His eyes soften when I smile." She bent her head to hide her eyes with her bangs, but her smile was very visible to Hosshimaru.
"So why stop smiling."
"He's not here to see them."
"So, while you lived in the village and never saw him for, what, seven years? You never smiled? How depressing." Rin laughed a bit and turned her head toward the hot spring.
"I missed him so much all those years and never understood why he never came back. Now, I know he was busy with all the battle prior the war."
"Well, yes, he was busy, but the main reason he stopped going was because I told him so."
"What? Why?!"
"The east was watching and if they saw him going to the village, you could have been in danger. He wanted the minimal people to know about you, for your safety. It's the same with Takahiro, but I must say not even I understand why he didn't tell you about my son once you were inside the castle."
"I think he thought I couldn't understand your relationship." He was worried about me! That was why he never came for so many years! Why he didn't say so?!
"Nonsense. Sesshoumaru knows you're an intelligent woman."
"Hmn." Hosshimaru laughed at Rin's way of answering. She laughed so hard she almost fell down. "What's so funny?"
"You two are so alike! I've seen that your arced your eyebrow, like he does, when you're intrigued and just now, you made a sound that he does when he doesn't agree with something. It's really amusing too see it!"
"Well, you act like his mother, must of the time."
"I know, I know. It annoys Sesshoumaru so much!" She said between laughs.
"You two enjoy annoying him."
"It's very amusing! You should try it one day!"
"I rather not." Annoying others for fun is childish, is it not? These demons are strange creatures. People are strange.
"So, you really aren't depressing over Sesshoumaru's departure? Because he always leaves like this and then returns."
"For how long does he go?"
Hosshimaru shrugged. "Depends on how angry he was."
"Ohh." Damn! She's depressed again. These humans are such difficult creatures.
"Rin. I'm no expert in Sesshoumaru, but I think I get him a little. I believe he's not angry with you but with himself."
"He never once yelled at me or threatened me. He never hurt me, nor physically or emotionally. I think he's very angry with me." Rin said remembering his beautiful amber eyes flashing red and his scowl. She remembered him calling her childish. She hated it when the villagers mock her about playing with the other kids and for gathering flowers and making crowns. She never thought he could call her that.
"He left because he knows how to fight and kill, but he doesn't know how to apologize. And he knows he hurt your feelings and that he's got to apologize to you for that. Right now, he is probably flying somewhere regretting ever saying such things to you, of all people. Sesshoumaru had a very stressing meeting just before you went to him and he took his anger on you. I should apologize, for it was me who didn't tell you. I should have stopped you from talking to him. I…I…apolo-"
"There's no need for that. He doesn't have to apologize either. He did hurt my feelings, but some things he said were the truth. I was disrespectful. Anyway, I could never ask him to say sorry and he must know this."
"You are too good a person. Never change Rin, for any demon or human. Always stay true to yourself, stay young at heart." Rin smiled at Hosshimaru and thanked her, she felt better now, but still needed some time to think. Rin thanked her for the tea and left the garden. Hosshimaru went back to her study to continue on her war plans. At least, she had accomplished something. Rin was smiling.
The knocking at her door stopped her from her work; she sniffed the air and recognized the scent as that one of her personal servant.
"What is it?" She said with the door still closed.
"The priestess Kagome wishes to speak to you."
"Bring her here and some tea." What could she want? Hosshimaru made space in her table for the tea and waited for the other woman. She had some time to speak with her and found the miko to be a very intelligent and peculiar person. Sometimes her form of speech was odd and some of the things she talked about were very unusual. Also she's always carrying that strange sack and some of the clothes I've seen on her are bizarre, to say the least. They must be from her time. Hosshimaru found the relationship between InuYasha and Kagome quite different too. There wasn't a time when she didn't hear them arguing, but the scent of arousal was in the air all the time, as well. Some singular fetish, indeed.
Hosshimaru was expecting only Kagome but was surprised to see her with InuYasha. The miko saluted her and sat in front of her. InuYasha, being his usual self, just sat and ignored her. At first, Hosshimaru thought it was just his way of being with strangers but now she was sure that the hanyou didn't like her at all, why she did not know.
"What do you wish to speak about?"
"It's about the journey to Aokigahara. I understand you need InuYasha's red tessaiga to break the dragon's barrier and, even though, I prefer to be with him, I can't leave our children alone for such a long time. I think you must understand, being a mother yourself…" Kagome explained to the demon. Hosshimaru gazed at the couple in front of her. InuYasha looked just as Rin describe him, with his red robe, silver hair, amber eyes, and almost perpetual scowl. Hosshimaru had seen him with another face just when he smiled at his children or Kagome. But the girl, that was a different story. Rin had described her well, long black hair, blue eyes, and a tall curvy figure. It was the eyes that surprised her. The miko, although twenty-eight, looked no older than nineteen, but her eyes showed wisdom far longer than her real age. She looked cunning and when she gazed into her eyes, Hosshimaru felt as if her soul and heart was being read, scanned, as she was doing right now.
"Yes, I do understand. I'm staying in the castle not only for my son's sake but because I must plan other battles and continue pursuing of ending this war. Also, I prefer to stay here. I don't like traveling. So, you will return to the village and InuYasha stays here?"
"No, Kagome and the pups stay here until I leave and while I look for this barrier you talked about."
"InuYasha. What he means is if it's ok we stay here?"
"I don't mean that. I meant what I said. They stay here safe or I won't go."
"InuYasha! How dare you?! You're so rude, really-"
"You may stay in the castle." Kagome and InuYasha stared at Hosshimaru. "We need InuYasha to cut this barrier. I was also counting on your spiritual powers, but I understand you want to stay with your children. As for staying in the castle, I was going to propose it myself. I know InuYasha won't be able to battle properly if he is concerned about his mate and pups, and you will be safer in the castle than in the village. We don't know if the east knows about InuYasha being Sesshoumaru's brother, but if they find about it they may use any of you for their cause. Is your room good enough for a long stay?"
"Ah…ahhh. Yes! Yes, it's perfect." Kagome said after regaining her speech. "Thank you."
"Hmm. I'm the one who thanks you." InuYasha stared at Hosshimaru as if trying to see inside her head. "What?" She had had it with him; his suspicion was more than annoying.
"Hnm. Thank you," he said looking at Kagome's head now. Hosshimaru was taken aback; a thank you was the last thing she expected from him. Kagome turned her face up to gazed at her mate and smiled sweetly at him, receiving a smile back. At that moment, Hosshimaru felt like a third wheel and felt her jealously return. What could I give to have someone look at me like that, with so much love… "Well if that was all, then I will ask you to leave as I have many business to attend to." Hosshimaru say coldly. Kagome and InuYasha broke their trance and stood to leave. Kagome looked wonderingly at Hosshimaru, but the demon was already immersed reading a scroll. Strange of her to receive us and offers us tea and then acts so coldly. Kagome thanked her again and left the demon to her work.
Meanwhile, Rin was in her room, writing. She had talked to Kagome about her worries over Sesshoumaru's absent, about feeling guilty because of their fight. Kagome advised her to write down what she felt and what she could like to say to Sesshoumaru. So, Rin took the set of quills and ink her lord gave her as a present. The year she received this present was the one she turned eighteen and, now she knew, when the war started. Even though he was in middle of war he remembered me and sent Ah-Un with a gift. Rin felt a tear escaped her eye and unto the scroll.
Dear Sesshoumaru-sama, And so Rin started her letter. It took six scrolls, three hours, and many tears to let out all she was feeling, all her regret, anger, guilt, sadness, everything. When she was done she was supposed to burn the letter but she couldn't. She instead twined the scrolls together, bound them with a cord, and hid it in the truck where she kept her healing herbs and potions. Kagome was right; Rin did felt better after that. Now maybe I'll be able to sleep properly. Rin fell asleep, feeling more at peace with herself. While quite a few miles from her a certain demon lord was trying without success to rest his tired body.
A/N: Well, hello there! Thank you for reading the chapter!
This chapter was without action, just as Rin's life is going to be for a while. I wanted the chapter to reflect her mood right now and so I made it a bit slow, without aggressive and action fill movements, just talks that were to uncover some mysteries and to show an overall picture of how life in the castle will be for some months.
Hope it wasn't boring and thank you again,
Pritxka.
