CH. 6

Who has to know
When we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you


February 1, 2014

The gray, blustery, winter weather was no match for Blair Waldorf's sunny disposition as she taxied her way across the city to meet her best friend for lunch and a bit of wedding planning. For the last month, she and Chuck had been in frequent contact with each other via calls, texts, and e-mails. It had been so easy to fall back into a friendly rapport. Their conversations had so far stayed in the shallow end of the pool, always careful to avoid bringing up what happened between them, how she was now engaged to his best friend, and, God forbid, his latest string of conquests. As long as they kept things light and fun, she was thrilled to talk to him.

She hadn't mentioned to anyone, not even Serena, that she and Chuck were talking again. Blair rolled her eyes just thinking of the lecture she'd receive if Serena ever found out. Serena had good intentions, sure, but wasn't there a saying about the road to hell being paved with good intentions? No, Blair preferred to keep her conversations with Chuck to herself—like her own dirty little secret. And if the thrill she got from hearing his voice on the line was wrong, she didn't want to be right. As long as she kept her mouth shut she could have it all and no one would be the wiser.

Blair paid the driver and stepped out onto the busy sidewalk as her phone beeped, signaling a new text message. She flipped it open and read the message, causing an instant smile to spread across her porcelain face.

"What's got you so happy, B?" Serena asked.

Startled, Blair looked up and snapped her phone shut. "Nothing, why?"

"You just seemed pretty excited over your latest message. Did Nate send you something lovey-dovey and sweet?" Serena cooed, batting her eyelashes. She reached for her phone and Blair slapped her hand away.

"None of your business, Serena!" Blair scolded.

"Ooh, someone is touchy today. Should we eat or shop first?"

"Shop. Unless you want to try on bridesmaid dresses on a full stomach."

Serena groaned and locked arms with Blair. "Shopping it is. How is the wedding planning going?"

"Really well. Eleanor is beside herself with joy over this event and for once in my life she's not criticizing my every move. It's very refreshing."

"Where are you and Nate going on your honeymoon?"

She hadn't thought about it. How could she not have even thought about that? They hadn't discussed it once. "Oh, we're still narrowing it down," she lied. "Somewhere super romantic though." Blair gave Serena her best "everything in my life is absolutely perfect" fake smile which seemed to appease her friend. To be completely honest, ever since she started talking to Chuck again she hadn't really been focused on the wedding planning—though with her mother taking the reins, everything was under control and right on schedule. Come June 7th, the Waldorf-Archibald wedding would be the event of the season, nay the year. It was exactly everything she'd dreamed of as a little girl, right down to the groom and maid of honor.

The two best friends spent the afternoon laughing and trying on tons of bridesmaid dresses. Blair thought it fun to torture Serena by picking out ugly dresses, but Serena, being the ever-dutiful best friend and maid of honor, tried each and every dress on without complaint. After what seemed like hundreds and hundreds of dresses, Blair finally decided on a pale pink Armani.

"B, this dress is stunning. Your wedding is going to be so beautiful."

Blair smiled, genuinely this time, because she knew that was true. And all afternoon women had been "ooh-ing" and "ahh-ing" over her heirloom ring, impressed that she was marrying an Archibald, and lavishing lots of praise and compliments upon her. It really was like a fairytale come to life and she had the starring role. Hadn't she always wanted to be the lead? Yes, yes she had.

While at lunch, Blair's phone beeped again and she fought the urge to smile, thinking the message was from Chuck. Her demeanor changed after reading the actual message.

Flying 2 Chicago 2nite. Will be gone 3 days. Sry 4 the late notice.

Love u,

Nate

"What's wrong, Blair?" Serena asked.

Blair sighed. "Nate's going out of town."

"Again? He's been gone a lot lately," Serena commented, her voice laced with concern.

"Tell me about it," Blair replied, reaching for her water glass.

"Does that bother you?"

She shrugged her shoulders and sipped her water. "It's his job, I'm supportive."

"Well, let's have a girls' night out then. We haven't been dancing in forever. How 'bout it, B?"

Serena was a good friend. "I'd love to."


GG: Spotted: Besties S and B doing lunch and shopping for wedding apparel while N hopped a flight to the Windy City. Routine business trip or trouble in paradise? Only four months until the big day. I wonder if Chuck Bass is on the guest list. Rumor has it that N asked his best friend to be the best man. Surely B wouldn't allow that. She might slip up and say the wrong man's name during the vows. Now that would be the wedding of the century. I sure hope I get an engraved invitation. You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Chuck grunted in annoyance and snapped his phone shut, flopping back against the pillows. Did that bitch really have no one else to talk about? Were the kids at Constance and St. Jude's so uninteresting these days that she had to continue to keep tabs on him and his friends four years after prep school? He replayed the blast in his head, his jaw twitching at the thought of Blair actually marrying Nate. The twitching persisted when thoughts turned to his front row seat for Blair vowing to love and cherish Nate for all the days of her life.

It was easy to forget when he was busy at work, or when they were teasing each other on the phone. Never did they discuss the details of the wedding or even Nate in general. It was as if they existed in their very own Chuck and Blair fantasy friendship bubble where nothing could burst it. The middle of the night, however, as he lay alone staring at the ceiling, was a completely different story. All too often his thoughts were on Blair the girlfriend, Blair his love, certainly not Blair Nate's fiancée. His brain ran their tortured love story over and over like a damned movie reel. That was always her MO, not his. Chuck Bass didn't do sappy and yet here he was; the sappiest sap to ever sap. What was it Blair had called him on the phone before? Maudlin. She was right, it didn't suit him.

He should be getting on with his life; perhaps he'd relent and bang the hot new assistant down the hall that kept eye fucking him every time he walked into a room. That's what the real Chuck Bass would do. The Chuck Bass that loved women and scotch and was the CEO of Bass Industries-Tokyo. The real Chuck Bass wouldn't mourn Blair Waldorf who had spurned his apologies and sent him unceremoniously packing a year ago. But who was he kidding? Himself apparently, as he hadn't been that Chuck Bass since BB: Before Blair. He was a simpering pussy in private and it was fucking pathetic.

His phone buzzed once again on the night stand and he flipped open the phone to find a new message from none other than Blair Waldorf.

I kno ur pry sleeping, but I was thinking of u and wanted 2 say hi. S and I are having a girls' night later. Should be drunken good times. Miss u. Have a great day doing corporate things.

-B

This needed to stop. All these texts and phone calls were great, but what did it get him? Absolutely nothing, that's what. Hearing her voice, receiving her texts, they all just served as a reminder that they weren't together any longer and that they never would be since she was getting married. Being her friend was nice and all, but Chuck had had it all once upon a time and settling wasn't going to cut it any longer. He'd get through the wedding and be the perfect best man, but after that he was done. If only he could banish the fond memories of her in lingerie he might not be quite so tortured.


Chuck entered his office after an interesting encounter with the new assistant down the hall. She'd propositioned him and he had to admit that the offer was very tempting. He'd flirted and admired but had yet to commit to anything further. Reminding himself of his mid-night pep talk, he decided he'd give her a whirl. After all, he was a man with basic needs.

Just as he sat down at his desk, his cell phone rang. It was Blair. Of course it fucking was. God forbid he should remotely entertain the thought of getting that lithe beauty down the hall naked beneath him without his thoughts being interrupted by Blair Waldorf. It was the middle of the night in New York. Her text had said she was going out with Serena so she was probably just drunk dialing him. Ignore it. Ignore her.

It rang a third time and with a silent admonition, he answered. "Hello, Blair," he said, doing his best to sound uninterested.

"CHUCK! I thought you'd never answer. Oh, shit," she slurred.

He heard her rummaging around on the line and it sounded as though she'd run into something. She was utterly blitzkrieged. "A few too many tonight, Waldorf?"

She erupted in a fit of girlish giggles. "Maybe just ONE too many. Am I talking too loud?" she asked at full volume.

In spite of himself, he chuckled into the phone. Drunk Blair was hilarious and always had been. "Not if we were in a hurricane. Maybe use your indoor voice," he suggested.

"Oooh, right," she whispered. "My Chuck, so full of good ideas."

"Is there a reason for the extreme drunkenness or was it a one off?"

More laughter. "Nate the Great had to leave on business, so S and I had a GIRLS' NIGHT! He's always flying somewhere. Kinda like you…only I liked it better when you came home to me. I'm so thirsty!" she exclaimed.

Chuck bit the inside of his lip trying to absorb what she'd just said. He heard her trying to pour herself a glass of water, which didn't fare too well evidently since a stream of expletives flowed from her mouth.

"Chuck, you'd pour me a glass of water wouldn't you?"

"I would if I was there," he offered easily.

"Mmm—if you were here. That's nice. I wish you were here. If you were here I'd—"

This was heading down a very dangerous path and yet he couldn't stop. He knew better. He knew better than to open his mouth and say "If I was there you'd what?"

"Hee, I shouldn't say stuff like that to you. Bad Blair."

"That's fine, I didn't want to know anyway," he retorted, trying to remain aloof.

"Yes, you do, Chuck Bass. Fine. I'll tell you. I, Blair Waldorf, would totally and completely screw your brains out if you were here right now. Satisfied?" she asked, hiccupping.

Not even close. "You're shitfaced, Waldorf."

"No, I'm horny. Remember our sex life, Chuck? It was soooo good. Nobody fucks like you do, baby. Nobody."

"What about your fiancé?" Chuck was deriving way too much perverse pleasure from this conversation. He was a sick man, indeed.

Blair howled with laughter. "Please. We barely touch each other. Unlike you and me—we couldn't keep our hands off each other, could we, Chuck?"

Chuck smirked into the phone. "No we couldn't. So why exactly are you marrying Nate?"

"Oooh," Blair mustered seriously. "I shouldn't tell you. I promised I'd keep that to myself. Shhhh!"

"You're not making any sense, Blair."

"Ha! Ha! I love you, Chuck Bass. I wish I was marrying you. Stupid Tokyo."

He remained silent for a moment as her words hung heavy on the line. "Blair?"

"I think I need to lie down. I don't feel so good."

"Take some aspirin first. You'll be glad you did in the morning," he offered sagely.

"Chuck?"

"Yeah?"

"You won't really let me marry Nate, right?" she asked in a small voice before hanging up the phone.

Chuck hung up the phone. "And the plot thickens." He swiveled his oversized executive chair around to face the window. I love you, Chuck Bass. I wish I was marrying you. The words played over and over again in his head as he considered his options. You won't really let me marry Nate, right? Her words, her question, weighed profoundly on his mind until there really was only one question left to be asked. What would Chuck Bass do?