Disclaimer: I don't own 'Higher Ground' or anything that deals with it. I don't own 'Romeo and Juliet' either. I'm not getting paid for my writing but it would be wonderful if I was. I'm sure a lot of other writers agree with me on this. ;-)
Rating: K+, for some language.
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Sitting in my bed with my knees pulled to my chest in a protective manner, I checked the time again. It was past midnight. Usually he had come by then, but there was still no sign of the monster that haunted my nights. True, he didn't come to see me every night but damn nearly. I was surprised; relieved, but still surprised.
Still, I wasn't gong to dwell on my salvation. I was just going to be happy about it. It was pathetic that I expected him to visit me nightly but that was the life I had grown accustomed to, as bad as it was. I was simply going to enjoy a night of peace. I was going to take the chance to get a full nights sleep without being sore, or having to cry myself to sleep.
I got comfortable on my bed and pulled the covers over me, allowing them to chase the coldness away. It was nice to be able to sleep in my own bed with out it smelling like him for once.
I thought about several things but cast Walt from my mind. The main thing was the play and Scott asking me to help him. It caught me off guard. I still couldn't believe that I had agreed to help him. Granted, he needed help, but still. It was unlike me to help someone I completely loathed. Come to think of it, it was unlikely for me to help someone I even liked. But this play meant a lot to me and if that meant I had to suffer working with the reigning Prince of the school, I would deal with it.
It was only then that I remembered he hadn't called me. I wasn't really expecting him to but he was the one who wanted my number to arrange our first practice. Still, he didn't call. Maybe he forgot. It didn't matter much to me. He was the one who needed the practices not me. Him even being cast, let alone auditioning, still baffled me to no end. He was the last person I had expected to get cast. Then again, most people probably thought that about me too.
I shook my head to myself and closed my eyes, willing myself to go to sleep. It was always easier said than done for me. But, before I knew it, sleep washed over me. I drifted away to a place where no one could touch me and I was completely safe. There was nothing to worry about and nothing to care about. I liked it. Sleep was a wonderful thing that I didn't get to experience enough of.
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I woke up to my alarm going off. I sigh left my lips at the sound of the ringing. I pushed the button on top and it stopped, thankfully. Thank God there was only two more days of school left this week. Still, I had a sinking feeling that those two days would drag on. The play was making every week drag on. I continuously had to remind myself that I wanted to be a part of it. I wanted to play Juliet, knowing full well what it would mean. And I agreed to help the jock, knowing it would be dreadful.
I got my things ready for school quickly enough. For once, I didn't need to rush things. I was the only one home, and I was enjoying being alone. Still, it was habit to get everything ready and to get out of the house as soon as possible. I guess that's what I got for living with Walt for so long. A sexually abusive step father would do that to a girl.
I walked out the door and made my way to school. Normally, I stopped at Daisy's, but I wasn't going to bother with that. She knew that if I wasn't at her house by 8:00 a.m. everything was good and to meet me at school. I had trained her well.
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I closed my locker to find Scott standing on the other side, staring directly at me. I wasn't going to lie, he caught me off guard. I was shocked to see him, and I knew he could tell by the small jump it caused. "Damn it, Barringer," I said with force as my hand found my chest. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to talk to you about when we were going to have our first practice," Scott answered simply.
"Yeah, that was why I gave you my cell phone number, so you could call me last night, and we could talk about when our first practice would be," I answered shortly.
"Yeah, well, something came up."
He seemed distracted when he spoke, as if his mind was else where, remembering what it was that came up. I was curious to find out what it was, but I wasn't there to pick his brain about what he did at night. I was there to help him become a good Romeo and that was it. It was strictly business.
"Well, you're the one who needs the practice," I said. "When do you want the first practice to be?"
The boy snapped back into reality and said, "Well, we're going to have to be working around my football schedule so that might complicate things a little."
"Of course."
"But, how about today? I get done with practice at 5:00. Wanna come to my house at, like, 5:30?"
I thought about that for a moment before saying, "Yeah, sure, 5:30."
"Okay, you know where I live?"
"Yeah, I've been to parties at your house before."
Saying that reminded me of that night. All the memories flooded back and I couldn't stop them. Unfortunately, most of the memories starred Justin Black, one of the Princes of the school. He was Scott with only slightly less standing. Scott was number one and Justin was number two. I was hooking up with him for a few weeks during Junior year and, being Scott's best friend, I was naturally taken to his parties. They were parties I tried to forget.
"Right, when you came with Justin," Scott replied with a nod.
"Yeah," I said with an eye roll. "Don't remind me."
"Are you okay with him playing Paris?"
"Like you care," I retorted with a scoff. "Look, if I can handle you being Romeo, I can handle him being Paris."
"God, you snap easily!" He fumed.
I offered Scott a fake, sweet smile and leaned against my locker. We were done talking so I didn't understand why he was still standing there, looking at me. "I'll be at your house at 5:30. Make sure you have your book."
"Any idea what we're going to be doing?" He asked, hopeful.
"Not yet. I've never been a tutor before, especially for something like this. I'll figure something out to start you off easy though."
Scott nodded and with a smile said, "Thanks."
"Yeah, yeah," I said with a nod and a soft smile. "Go away."
"See ya later."
I gave a soft laugh and a shake of my head once Scott turned around and walked away. It was so strange to think that I was actually going to be helping that guy with the play. He obviously needed it, but still, it was strange to me. I mean, me, helping the jock? No one in their dizziest day dreams would have thought that would happen. But, honestly, I was surprised he got fucking cast.
"Hey," Daisy said from behind me, causing me to turn around and look at her. "What's with you and Scott talking?"
"Yeah, I thought you hated him," Ezra added.
I wasn't planning on telling either of them about me helping him, but they deserved it. Especially Ezra since he was more or less in charge of the play. He deserved to know that it his star was actually trying to get better and not totally suck on opening night. Still, saying it out loud, to them, would make it more real somehow and even stranger in my mind.
"Uh, I'm helping him out with something," I replied in an almost cryptic manner.
"Like what?" Ezra asked.
"Just something for school."
"Is that what you two were talking about yesterday after practice too?"
"What's with the third degree?" I asked, getting slightly irritated by the questions.
"We're just curious as to why you would be helping the reigning King of the school," Daisy replied with an innocent shrug.
I gave a deep sigh at Daisy's innocence. She was using it as a way to get me to talk, and I knew it. Unfortunately, it was working. She knew exactly how to get me to talk about something I didn't want to talk about, and she did it in the weirdest ways. That was partially why she knew about Walt and no one else did. She knew when to push, and when to back off, and she knew that I would tell her regardless of which she chose to do. Damn best friends!
"As you two know, Scott's a pretty shitty Romeo," I said and they both gave me, 'no, duh' looks. "He knows that he sucks so he asked me for my help."
"And you said, 'yes'?" Ezra asked, clearly shocked.
"Yes. I don't want the play to suck because the star was horrible and no one would help him."
"So, you're what? His private tutor on Shakespeare?" Daisy asked, a grin dancing over her black lips.
"Yeah, I guess you could say that," I replied with a shrug. Daisy gave me a skeptical look which caused me to almost glare at her. "I'm only helping him with the play."
"If you say so," Ezra said with all the innocence he could muster up.
I rolled my eyes. I didn't know what those two were thinking was going to happen but whatever it was, it wasn't happening. I was simply helping Scott with the play. I needed to find a way to fix the train wreck of him getting cast as the lead. How I was going to do that, I had no fucking clue, but I'd figure something out. I didn't really have a choice.
I was relieved when I heard the bell ring. We all went off our separate ways, and I was spared from the looks the pair was giving me. That was exactly why I didn't want to tell them. So much for me keeping my mouth shut.
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I took a long, much needed, drag of my cigarette, finishing it off. I threw it on the ground and stepped on it as I continued to make my way to Scott's house. I still couldn't believe I was actually helping him with the play. But, I didn't want it to suck on account of our Romeo being horrible. So, I was left with no choice. Like he said, he needed help, and who better to help him than the person who was costarring with him and knew the play backwards and forwards?
At least I had thought of a relatively easy scene for us to start out with. The first practice shouldn't be that bad. I plan on us mostly going over him remembering his lines and how to say them. He was getting better at how to say them since he got the version of Shakespeare Made Easy but he still didn't know his actual lines. Hopefully, I could fix that. All I have to say is that it's a damn good thing I know the whole play otherwise, we would be having some trouble.
I made it to Scott's door after a few more steps. I took a deep breath, trying to relieve myself of some nerves, before I knocked on the door. I didn't know why I was so nervous, but I was. It was all so new to me.
It didn't take Scott long to answer the door. His hair was still wet, and he still had some buds of water on his neck. His white shirt had some spots that were wet too which led me to believe he had just gotten out of the shower. He also had a light blue towel in his hands. I was beginning to think that I was lucky he was even fully dressed.
"Ready?" I asked, wasting no time.
"Uh, yeah. Come in," Scott answered and moved so I could enter. "We have the house to ourselves until 7:00 p.m. so I guess we could work in the living room."
I remembered where the living room was and made my way there. I took a seat on the couch, waiting for him to join me so we could begin. I was still unsure on how to operate this whole thing, but I figured I could make it up as I went along. Some of the best laid plans, weren't planned at all so I thought I could try it that way for this. I didn't want to have so many plans for I feared they would all be shot to hell.
Scott walked into the living room and took a seat on a chair next to the couch. He was looking at me with a questioning expression, obviously waiting for me to start.
"Well, I found a scene that's pretty easy to do so I was thinking we could start there," I said, leaning forward slightly. "It's it act one, scene one, between Romeo and Benvolio. It's actually Romeo's first scene. The passages aren't that long or difficult so it shouldn't be a problem."
"Okay," Scott said with a nod as he flipped through his book, finding the right spot. "Where are we starting from?"
"I'll start, I guess."
I glanced down at my book quickly before looking back to Scott. Hopefully, this wouldn't become a train wreck. At least he was actually trying to get help. I had to give him some credit for that, but if he didn't take this thing seriously, I would walk out and let him suck opening night.
"Good morrow , cousin," I said, reciting the line.
"Is the day so young?" he replied without having to look down at his book. Point for him.
"But new struck nine."'
"Ay me, sad hours seem long." He glanced down at his book before returning his eyes back to me. "Was that my father that went hence so fast?"
"It was. What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?"
"Not having that which, having, makes them short."
"In love?"
"Out."
"Of love?"
"Out of her favor where I am in love," Scott said and messed up his delivery. He sounded like he was simply talking and that was not how it was suppose to sound.
"Okay, stop there," I stated.
"How did I fuck that up?" Scott asked, his voice showing that he was on the edge of frustration.
I let a sigh escape my lips as I stood up from the couch. I didn't exactly begin to pace, but I did walk around in front of the couch and through his living room. I was searching for the right words to let him down easy while still getting my point across. Fuck it! I didn't care about letting him down easy. If he wanted my help, he was going to have to accept my harshness.
"You said it all wrong," I answered with a shrug. "You were just saying the line. Romeo's supposed to be suffering because Rosaline is ignoring his love. He's supposed to sound hurt and lost, like he doesn't know what to do because he's so overcome with pain about it."
"How am I supposed to know how he feels when I don't understand what he's saying?" Scott asked, no longer trying to hide his frustration.
I gave a small smile and sat on the arm rest of the chair he was sitting in as I said, "That's what your Shakespeare Made Easy is for. Look, it says, 'out of favor with my loved one' as a translation. So imagine that the person you love is rejecting you." He gives me a confused look. "Imagine Juliet is ignoring you, how would you sound?"
"Happy as hell!"
That made me laugh, I couldn't help it. I almost felt bad for laughing at it, and for her because he said it, but it was too funny. I couldn't help but wonder that if she bothered him so much, why was he with her? I didn't ask though, it wasn't my business. And I really could care less what the high school royalty did with each other.
"Okay, I guess that was a bad example," I said, still grinning. "Just imagine that someone you love with all your heart is ignoring you and your love for them. Now, say the line again."
"Out of her favor where I am in love," he said sounding lost and frustrated.
I smiled. Much better. "Alas that love so gentle in his view should be so tyrannous and rough in proof."
Scott gave me an incredible look when he saw the passage he was suppose to read next. "You must be joking."
"You can read it out of your book as long as you read it the right way."
"You don't want me to memorize it?"
"I don't want you to memorize the lines until you know how to say them. There's no point in knowing what to say if you don't know how to say it."
Scott shook his head in a dismissive manner and went ahead with reading. "Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still, should, without eyes, see pathways to his will! Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here? Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all.
Here's much to do with hate, but more with love. Why, then, O brawling love! O loving hate! O any thing, of nothing first create! O heavy lightness! serious vanity! Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms! Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health! Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is! This love feel I, that feel no love in this."
He actually managed to say everything correctly. Granted, he was reading out of his book but I told him he could. He got the lines out credibly. Were they great? No fucking way. But they didn't suck and that was what mattered. He managed to at least slightly understand how he was suppose to talk. He probably didn't understand a word of what he just said but he was learning, thanks in large part to the translations in his book.
I started laughing, for Benvolio was supposed to be laughing, which caused him to say, "Dost thou not laugh?"
"No coz, I rather weep," I reply.
"Good heart, at what?" He asked, nailing the line and the delivery. Point for him.
"At thy good heart's oppression."
Scott gave me another one of his incredible looks as he spotted his next passage. I offered him a small smile and gentle nod, telling him he could read it out of his book again. If it was just a couple of lines, I expected him to read it without his book but for actual passages, I could let him read them. It's our first practice after all. He doesn't understand iambic pentameter.
"Why, such is love's transgression. Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast, Which thou wilt propagate, to have it prest with more of thine: this love that thou hast shown doth add more grief to too much of mine own. Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs; being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes; being vex'd a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears: shat is it else? A madness most discreet, a choking gall and a preserving sweet," He said, reading out of his book but actually getting the acting pretty well. "Farewell, my coz."
I nodded in approval at his delivery and went on with the play. "Soft, I will go along; and if you leave me so, you do me wrong."
"Tut, I have lost myself, I am not here. This is not Romeo, he's some other where."
"Tell me in sadness who is it that you love?"
"What, shall I groan and tell the?"
"Groan? Why no, but sadly tell me who."
"Bid a sick man in sadness make his will? A word ill-urged to one that is so ill. In sadness, cousin, I do love a woman," He said, once again surprising me by saying the line rather adequately.
I stayed silent even though it was my line. I had to admit, the boy was surprising me. Either he had actually been trying, he was practicing in his own time, or I was bringing out some unknown, hidden actor within. I didn't know what it was but no matter what it was, he wasn't doing half bad. He was actually doing semi-good when he could remember the line.
"Have you been practicing outside of regular practices?" I asked.
"I've been reading the play," He answered with a shrug. "Why?"
"Because you're actually not completely sucking right now, Barringer."
"Thanks," He replied dryly.
I smiled and looked down to my open book briefly before continuing, "I aimed so near when I supposed you loved."
"A right good marksmen and she's fair I love," he said with the proper admiration.
"A right fair mark, fair coz, is soonest hit."
"Well, in that hit you miss: she'll not be hit with Cupid's arrow; she hath Dian's wit;
and, in strong proof of chastity well arm'd, from love's weak childish bow she lives unharm'd. She will not stay the siege of loving terms, nor bide the encounter of assailing eyes, nor ope her lap to saint-seducing gold: O, she is rich in beauty, only poor, that when she dies with beauty dies her store."
"Then she hath sworn that she will still live chaste?" I read on, ignoring the fact that he had to read out of his book. I began to accept it. I'd chide him about memorization later.
"She hath, and in that sparing makes huge waste. But beauty starved with her severity cuts beauty off from all posterity," he said but paused. He had to look down at his book again before continuing. "She is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair, to merit bliss by making me despair. She hath forsworn to love, and in that vow so I live dead, that live to tell it now."
"Be ruled by me, forget to think of her," I stated, completely in character. Who knew I could channel another character so well? Not me.
"O teach me how I should forget to think?" Scott said, getting the line right on the money.
"By giving liberty unto thine eyes: examine other beauties."
"'Tis the way to call hers exquisite, in question more: these happy masks that kiss fair ladies' brows being black put us in mind they hide the fair; he that is strucken blind cannot forget the precious treasure of his eyesight lost: show me a mistress that is passing fair, what doth her beauty serve, but as a note where I may read who pass'd that passing fair? Farewell: thou canst not teach me to forget."
"I'll pay that doctrine or else die in debt," I said, finishing the scene.
I replayed the practice in my head and realized quickly that he had a long way to go. He wasn't horrible, or at least half as bad as he was during the first practice in school, but he wasn't good either. We both knew it and weren't running from it. As long as he admitted that he wasn't as great at acting as he thought he was at everything else, I would be able to help him.
"Well, you're not horrible, but you have a lot of work ahead of you," I stated simply, closing my book. "Just continue reading the play in order to get your lines right. Also, watching some of the movie productions might help you. I suggest the older one because the newer one, though more modern, takes out some lines and you might get it confused with the actual play."
"I can do that," Scott replied. "I've already been doing that, actually."
"Well, good. Just keep doing that."
I grabbed my purse that I had thrown on the couch and turned to leave. The practice was over and I didn't really feel like I had a purpose to be there anymore. If I was even remotely attracted to him, I would have made up some silly, stupid excuse to stick around, but this was Barringer, and I could go without him.
"Wait!" Scott almost yelled which caught me off guard and caused me to turn back to him. I raised my eye brows in a questioning manner, waiting for him to tell me why he called me back. "Look, I don't know what you had planned with these practices but…if you don't want to I would understand…I mean…"
"Spit it out, Barringer!"
With a sigh he said, "Do you think you could continue to work with me on this stuff. As you can tell, I still need the help." That's for damn sure. "And, like I said when I first asked you about this, you're the best and probably the only person who could help me."
I bit my bottom lip, thinking. I was initially planning on having more than one practice with him in hopes that I would actually be able to stop the play from being a completely horrible, but me thinking it and him asking me about it were two very different things. Then again, I might actually be able to help him with this whole thing if I was given enough practice time with him.
"If I agree to this, we have to do it my way," I told him sternly. "No bull shit complaining about my methods for teaching you and I want you to actually try. If I think you're blowing this off, I'm out of here." I watched him for a moment as he absorbed what I said. "Got it?"
"Agreed," He affirmed with a nod.
"Fine. Call me for when you want the next practice to be, and this time actually call me."
He gave another nod and I couldn't stop a small smile from appearing on my face. With a gentle shake of my head I turned to leave again, still in shock that I was going to be this boys private tutor for Shakespeare and acting.
"Hey, Shelby," He stopped me, again. "Thanks."
"Yeah, yeah," I said and actually made it out the door that time.
Walking down the street, back to my house, something occurred to me: the play was completely in my hands. Scott and I were the stars and if we sucked, the play, inevitably, sucked. I knew I wasn't going to suck, as cocky as that might be, and now it was up to me to make sure Scott didn't suck either.
I didn't worry about anyone else in the production for they were all in drama and saw productions as the most important thing in the world. I didn't need to worry about Justin because he was so similar to his character it was uncanny. Daisy, I didn't need to worry about because I knew she could handle it. Scott was actually the only person I worried about but maybe that would change.
I might actually be able to salvage this thing after all.
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(A/N)- First thank you for the reviews from: Linkie, Melms213, Meghan, Ghostwriter, ShalBrenfan, Mandy, Kellie, Opal, Rachel, Xenia, LJSkywalker, ac5000, Juliette Fan, Nicole, Missworld243, Zannie52, weylela, Suzzy20, Hannah, Beamish-is-a-legend,and Ashely. You guys keep me writing!
Also, I know I say this all the time, but sorry this took so long. I wanted to get it done before finals and graduation and I was doing a good job, actually. I had it practically done. I was just finishing up the first practice when I went back to my computer one day to find that I had a virus. I had to wipe my whole computer clean. Needless to say, I wasn't happy. So, I had to rewrite this. And then I had graduation and finals and the last day of high school for me so I was distracted. Sorry!
It will be a while until I'm back to Higher Ground. I'm going to update my FireFly fic(Which always takes me a while for some reason) and then I'm probably going to start a Queer as Folk fic. So, my next Higher Ground update will be chapter two of 'A New Life'. Then I will finally write 'A Secret Slips'. Speaking of that, Debbie, please e-mail me. I have a question for you regarding the story.
As always, please review and let me know how I did!
