I walked with Jesse over to his apartment.
He said nothing on the way there, nothing up the stairs, and nothing until we were in his apartment and the door was shut.
"Sit down, Susannah." He whispered. "I need to talk to you about something."
I sat down silently. "Whats wrong Jesse?" I asked weakly.
"Nothing is wrong." He almost laughed. I could tell. "I hope not."
"What do you mean?" I asked, turning around.
"Don't!" I turned back. "Turn around."He demanded. "Close your eyes."
I felt something cold wrap around my neck loosely.
"Open them." I opened them slowly, looking at what he had wrapped around my neck.
"Jesse…" I whispered. A diamond necklace. "It's beautiful."
He sat down beside me gently. "Susannah, you know how I feel about taking things farther then we have." I blushed. "But I want to let you know that I still love you more then anything. And I will love you forever, Querida."
I almost cried from happiness.
"Jesse, it is so… thank you." I realized why he was so jumpy. He was nervous. About my reaction.
Like I would throw it on the ground or something.
"Your welcome." He held my hand. "That necklace, it was sort of a proposal."
What? Jesse was proposing me?
"I want you to move in with me."
I didn't know what to say.
"Its okay, if you don't want to." He said after. His voice sounded fragile.
"Jesse, I don't know what to say." I said finally.
"Okay." He looked down. His hand slid off of mine.
"Oh God Jesse. I didn't mean that."
Silence.
"Jesse, I love you too, more then anything in the world. And I want to move in with you, and marry you, and have children, and grow up to be everything I dreamed to be. But, I just need to be with my mom right now. I am still very young."
"I know."
"Jesse,"
"I know." He said again. "Susannah, its okay."
I thought that if I said something, he would cut me off again, so I stayed silent.
"I am scared." He whispered. "You said that it could end anytime, and you were right. And now I am scared that you will be taken away from me forever. I am so afraid that…I guess I tried rushing things. I'll go slower, I promise."
"No, Jesse, don't go slower. Go as fast as you want, but I just don't know if I am ready to move in yet."
He nodded.
"Jesse?" I whispered. I unhooked the necklace and held it out to him. "I'm sorry."
"No." He said back. He pushed my hand back to my chest. "Keep it. Its to show that I will always be with you. No matter what happens."
I kissed him. I had to. It was just so romantic. I dropped the necklace, and sort of leaned on him. He reached for my shirt. I let him feel up my stomach all the way up to the edges of my bra. I reached under his shirt and felt his muscles.
They weren't like Brads. Brads were like, mini watermelons. I don't know why Debbie went for him. But Jesse's…Jesse's were perfect.
"Querida," He whispered against my lips.
Oh God, don't stop. I thought. Things are going really well.
And things were. No ghost Jesse had interrupted, no other weirdo ghosts had, my mom wasn't there, no one could hear us, hopefully, and he had just proposed to live with me.
It was obvious we both had very strong feelings for eachother. And his stupid rules of the 1850's had to come and ruin everything.
"Querida, not…too far." He finished.
