Matt here: Yeah, this is a Sesshomaru chapter, not because I have writers block, I'm just too lazy to actually continue the main plot. But to make up for the long wait, here's my OCs theme songs... ok, they're really the by-product of me spending too much time on Youtube... but cut me some slack.
Matt- Pervert By Nerf Herder
Pat- Bras on 45 By Stars on 45
Brogan- Best Friend By Toy Box
There you go. I have charecter themes now, leave me alone! I like pie! Meeps!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, except Matt and possibly the four-tailed beast.
Sesshomaru was walking into town as a Giant Four-Tailed Hell Hound spewed Black Fire onto the various houses. The villagers were cowering in fear off to the side.
Sesshomaru: Pathetic mortals! Cowering in fear of such a puny demon! YOU!
The humongous dog turned to face the human size target.
Four Tailed Beast: You dare disturb my mayhem, measly human!
Sesshomaru, grabbing the dog's left leg: NEVER COMPARE ME TO THAT SPEACIES!
Sesshomaru then ripped off the dog's leg, shrunk it with his demon magic, and attached it to his left shoulder.
Four Tailed Beast: What the fuc...
Sesshomaru the ripped of the Four Tailed Beast Head and shoved it up its own ass so far that it vomited out it's own head... I don't know how that's possible either. Suddenly, a shirtless man came out of the crowd.
Man: Wow, you sure know how to anally rape a monster, how about a human?
Sesshomaru: HELLZ YA!
Sesshomaru was about to fuck the man up the ass, when a rift in space appeared right next to him.
Matt, the Author: Sesshomaru! Help! Yaoi Fangirls have taken over the script!
Sesshomaru, snapping out of his trance: Holy Shit! I'm coming!...
The crowd snickered.
Sesshomaru, turning to the screen: You know very well I didn't mean it like that! What are you, 11? Then you shouldn't be reading M-rated fanfics!
Sesshomaru then jumped into the portal, leaving the homosexual man behind.
Matt, the Author: Ok, Fangirls! The jig is up!
Yaoi Fangirl Leader: OMG! IT'S SESSHOMARU AND SOME TALL, BLONDE GUY IN A TRENCHCOAT!
Yaoi Fangirl #2: OMG! IT'S VASH THE STAMPEDE!
Yaoi Fangirl #3: OMG! SESSHOVASH 4 EVER!
The crowd of Yaoi Fangirls then jumped on top of the two, causing a large white box to appear on the screen.
White Box: BATTLE!
Suddenly, background music started and the Yaoi Fangirls were all lined up on one line on the left side and Matt, the Author, and Sesshomaru were on the right.
Matt, the Author: Why the hell are we battling Final Fantasy style? None of this had anything to do with it at all.
Sesshomaru: I don't know, maybe...
Yaoi Fangirl Leader: OMG! I cast "Slash Fic" on Matt, the Author!
Suddenly, the number 200 appeared in front of Matt, the Author, and he fell down.
Sesshomaru: Shit! I cast "Revive"!
Matt, the Author, hopping back up: Shit! Why the fuck did I die? It was only 200 damage!
Sesshomaru, checking the game manual: According to this, your a Black Mage.
Matt, the Author: Shit! I'm screwed. What are you?
Sesshomaru: White Mage!
Yaoi Fangirl #2: OMG! I cast "Cosplay"!
The chick next to her suddenly transformed into the Dark Magician Girl.
Yaoi Magician Girl: OMG! Yaoi Magic Attack!
A flash of rainbow light shot out and hit Matt, the Author, causing a 199 to appear in front of him.
Matt, the Author: I cast "Bondaga"!
Sesshomaru: Isn't it called "Bindaga"?
Matt, the Author: Not the way I use it.
Chains shot out from the ground in between the chicks legs, strapping them into, as Grover Cleavland once said "So that them bitch's juices flowed out rusting up them there chains.".
Yaoi Fangirl Leader: OMG! OH YEAH!
Sesshomaru: I cast "Shinaga"!
The entire line of chicks had MISS appear in front of them.
Sesshomaru: Shit! It didn't work!
Matt, the Author, putting on a Village Hidden in the 70's headband: Quick! Equip the headband!
Sesshomaru, equipping the headband: Okay, why?
Matt, the Author: You'll see!
Suddenly, the bondage chains disappeared.
Matt, the Author: Ok, now! Combo Attack! Kage Level Secret Jutsu! Time Warp No Jutsu!(Oh come on! Don't tell me you didn't see this coming!)
Sesshomaru: Ok.
Matt, the Author and Sesshomaru, singing: LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!
Yaoi Fangirl Leader: OMG! What the hell is the time warp?
Matt, the Author: It's just a jump to the left.
Sesshomaru, singing: And then a step to the right!
Matt, the Author: With your hands on your hips.
Sesshomaru, singing: Bring your knees in tight!
Matt, the Author, and Sesshomaru, singing/ pelvic thrusting: But it's the pelvic thrust, that really drives you insane,... LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!
The Yaoi Fangirls heads then exploded.
White Box, popping up: 3000 XP gained; Received- Fanfic Script
Matt, the Author: Sweet! Now to just teleport back and...
Sesshomaru: Wait a second! Your gonna let me find that so called eviler than me brother next chapter!
Matt, the Author, holding the script: Fine, I'll just... huh,... uh,... What the fuck is going on? I can't change the script!
Sesshomaru: What?
Suddenly, the screen behind Sesshomaru flickered on. A hooded figure appeared.
Figure: Foolish Author! You dare defy the fact that Naruto, Yu-gi-oh GX, and Inuyasha are Yaoi-only categories! You shall pay for you insolence as I have taken away your Authoring powers! Mwhahahahahahahahahaha!
Matt, the Author, shooting a kitten: If I don't have Author powers then how did I do that?
Figure: BECAUSE YOUR FUCKING SICK AND TWISTED IN THE HEAD!
Matt, the Author: Damn right, bitch!
Figure: Wait, what?
Matt, the Author: I shall find you and reclaim my Authoring powers! Away!
Matt, the Author, then dragged Sesshomaru out the door and through the woods, to Grandmother's house they go... wait, that's not right...
---End of Chapter---
Nothing much to say, except REVIEW OR I WILL RAPE YOUR HOTTEST FEMALE RELATIVE AND SEND YOU THE TAPE! I like pie! Meeps!
