Starsky walked slowly back to his car. Forgive me Venna. He felt disloyal. Is it so wrong that I should have these feelings for Rosie, so soon after Venna's death? Was it fate that had brought us together? If Venna had lived, would I still have met Rosie, then what? Starsky did not even want to begin to work it out. One hell of a month he thought and drove home.
On Monday the children, at school, were all talking about Dylan's party. He was now a very popular member of the class and seemed to be fine. Starsky felt he could relax a little with regards to him. He'd convinced his mother to return to New York and she had taken a flight out on Sunday morning. Dylan was sorry to see his grandma leave but she promised she would visit again at Christmas, and Dylan was thrilled. Starsky had not mentioned Michael or Rosie. Hutch had said they should have a relationship with someone else that didn't involve each other so that was what Starsky was doing. In many ways the last month had been good for him. Maybe Hutch was right, maybe they both needed to think about their own lives and not each other all the time. After school Starsky was happy to see Rosie collecting Michael. "Hi" he smiled. "Hi yourself" "How are you?" "I'm fine. Listen you wanna come over? Michael and Dylan can play and we could talk or not talk, which ever you prefer" she asked. Starsky immediately accepted and told her he would follow her in his car. She laughed when she saw he still had the Torino. "What's so funny?" he smiled. "I bet Hutch loves that you're still driving him round in that striped tomato" she laughed. "Hey, this car is a classic, she's a fine old lady now, and still gets me from A to B, just about as fast as I need to"
They pulled up outside a beautiful house in one of the more affluent areas of Bay City. Both Dylan and Michael had ridden in Starsky's "striped tomato" and Starsky loved hearing two rowdy boys in the back seat. It was like having Dylan and Ray back and, for a moment, his thoughts were filled with Venna once more.
Both boys charged upstairs to Michael's bedroom, as soon as they entered the house. Rosie went into the kitchen to get Starsky and herself a drink. The house was beautifully furnished. Frank Malone had obviously set his daughter up very well, financially, when he died. But Rosie had still managed to make it look like a warm and inviting home. There were big sofas with huge cushions. Photographs of Rosie and Michael adorned the walls. Starsky was busy inspecting baby photographs of Michael when Rosie returned with their drinks. "He's gorgeous isn't he?" she smiled proudly, when she saw Starsky looking at the pictures. "I missed so much." he sighed. "You could have just come home. I would have had you back, you know?" he said. "Don't you think I wanted to. David you're a cop. I didn't want to be married to a cop. I didn't want my son to get to know his father, only to maybe lose him one day. I nearly did come back. After you were shot. I was so frightened for you, but I figured you had Hutch. What could I offer you and what if you had died? Then what? So I stayed away and made a life for myself and my son" "Our son" corrected Starsky.
The afternoon was spent catching up on old times. Venna told Starsky that she was still busy selling Mexican and Indian crafts, only her shop was much bigger now. She was proud that she was working. She told him all about Rose, the nanny, and how wonderful she was with Michael. She talked about her father, how much she missed him and how sorry she was that he never met Michael. Starsky talked to her about Venna and Ray. What the last month had been like but that Dylan had pulled him through. He didn't mention Hutch and Rosie was beginning to think maybe something had happened to him. "How's Hutch?" she asked. The question completely threw Starsky and he didn't know how to respond. "David? How's Hutch?" she asked again, thinking that maybe he had not heard her, the first time. "I..I don't know. I don't really see Hutch much anymore." "What happened?" she asked gently. "It's complicated. I'm not even sure myself. He's got some things he needs to deal with" he answered "and you're not helping him?" she challenged. "I..He wants to be alone." he said sadly. "David, no-one wants to be alone. Talk to him. You need him. Hell he needs you." Starsky smiled "you sound like my mother. That's what she said" "Sounds like you have a smart mother! David go and see him. I'll keep Dylan here. He's fine. Take as long as you need. He can stay tonight, if it will help." she offered. "What about us?" he asked. "David let's take it slow. You are hurting right now. Your emotions...let's not jump into something too quick." "I think I remember you saying something like that last time, slow down. Didn't work then either." he smiled. He got up and kissed her. She did not refuse. It felt so good. So right. Almost as though the had never been apart. Starsky felt lust rising in him. He pulled back. "David?" Rosie looked confused, but not sorry. "I'll go see Hutch" he said "hold that thought" and he was gone.
"Come on Hutch, open the door!" Starsky shouted, as he banged on Hutch's door. "Hutch I know you're in there. Open up!" Inside Hutch was sitting on the sofa, trying desperately to ignore Starsky's voice. "Hutch. Hutch I aint leaving 'till we talk! You may as well open the door!" He continued to bang on the door. Inside Hutch got up. He dragged himself over to the front door and leaned heavily on it. Please buddy just go. He thought I don't want to have to face you right now. "Hutch, open up, come on" Starsky was persistent. Hutch sighed and, reluctantly, opened the door. He walked back inside and sat down, ignoring Starsky as he entered. Starsky looked at his friend. In the days that he had not seen him, Hutch had lost weight. Hutch looked ill. "Okay partner, what's going on?" No beating around the bush Starsky, go straight for the jugular. Hutch looked up at his partner. He wanted to cry. He was so tired. He didn't understand what was happening to them. They'd loved the same woman before, came to blows over it, but managed to sort it out. This time it was different though. Venna was dead and Starsky didn't know how Hutch felt about her. Maybe I should just come clean. If I'm gonna lose him, I may as well tell the truth. thought Hutch. "Starsky, we need to talk." Hutch began. "You're telling me!" replied Starsky. "Starsky will you just listen please." Starsky half did not want to know what was wrong. He was afraid Hutch was really ill. He wasn't sure he was ready to deal with that yet. "Okay Hutch. What ya wanna say?" Starsky sat on the coffee table, opposite from Hutch. "I loved her too Starsk." Hutch said and looked straight at his partner, "I loved her too." Starsky wasn't sure at first what Hutch meant, then it dawned on him, "Venna?" he queried. Hutch just nodded. "Did, did the two of you, did you...?" "Starsky nothing happened. She didn't even know. I know how she felt about you, but God Starsky I loved her. The minute I saw her, that first day, I loved her but she only had eyes for you buddy and you were so right together. I knew I didn't have a chance." Hutch put his head in his hands. Starsky sat, thinking. His partner had loved Venna too. Why hadn't he seen it? "Hutch" he called. Hutch looked up, "Why didn't you tell me?" "What was the point Starsk'? Besides when was I going to tell you, before you were married, on your wedding day? When?" "You could'a' told me after she died. I would have understood." Starsky answered. "Would you Starsk'? Would you really have? Think about it. I'm supposed to be your best friend." "Hutch you ARE my best friend. It's okay. It doesn't matter. You say nothing happened. I believe you. She was easy to love" Starsky sighed. "Starsky I'm sorry" "Hutch you don't have to be sorry. Just stop beating yourself up over this. Venna has gone. She aint coming back. I miss her. I still love her, but hey you miss her too. We can miss her together, partner." Starsky walked over to Hutch and sat beside him. "Me and Thee remember buddy. Whatever else happens, it'll always be me and thee." Starsky grinned and Hutch smiled. "Go on you big blond beauty, go get yourself a shower, I got a kid to pick up and you and me can have a pizza night. What d'ya say?" "Sure Starsk' whatever you say buddy." Hutch went to the bathroom, before he went in, he turned to Starsky, "You okay Starsk'?" he asked. "Me yeah, I'm fine, go, go have your shower. I can't take you home like that, you'll frighten Dylan." Starsky deliberately didn't tell Hutch about Rosie or Michael. He wanted to heal their friendship first and see where his relationship with Rosie was going, before Hutch had to know.
In the car Starsky told Hutch that Dylan was at a friend's house and they'd have to collect him from there. They drove to Rosie's home. "Ah you wait in the car Hutch. I won't be long" Starsky said, as they pulled up outside. He went to get Dylan. Luckily for Starsky Michael answered the door. Starsky still couldn't believe that this precious child was his. He was so tempted to just swoop him up into his arms and hold him. "Hey Michael, Dylan 'bout ready to come home now?" "Oh Hi, Mr Starsky. Come in, mommy's in the kitchen" Starsky followed the boy into the house. Rosie was surprised but pleased to see him standing in her Kitchen. "David! How did you get in?" she asked. "Ah Michael let me in" he replied. "That boy. He knows he's not meant to answer the door. I'm sorry I guess I didn't hear the bell." "S'okay. How's things?" "Good David. I'm good. Have you come for Dylan?" "Ah yeah, Hutch is in the car, we're gonna have a pizza night." he explained. "Oh, okay. How's Hutch?" she asked, concerned. " I think we're both gonna be okay." he smiled. "We've been through worse." She smiled too, "Does he know about us?" she asked. "Us? Is there an us?" asked Starsky, hopeful. "I want there to be. I think Michael needs to know his father." Starsky was ecstatic, he picked her up and swung her around. "David!" she squealed. Dylan and Michael came running in, to see what all the noise was about. They looked at their parents and then at each other, "Grown ups sure are funny sometimes" said Dylan and gave Michael a puzzled look. Noticing the children were now in the kitchen Starsky stopped spinning and put Rosie down. "Hey champ, you coming home? I got a surprise for you." "A surprise!" exclaimed Dylan. "Yep and it's waiting in the car, come on." He kissed Rosie and both boys groaned. Starsky tickled them both, "Hey when you're big you won't be saying yuk!" he laughed.
"Pizza Night" turned out to be everything they needed. Starsky and Hutch spent the whole evening, sharing memories of Venna. Rosie was not mentioned and , although in his heart, Starsky knew it felt right, his head was telling him it was too soon. He longed to share it with Hutch, get his opinion, his support and advice, but he was determined that this relationship, if it became a relationship, he was going to keep to himself.
"Hutch" he called, to his, by now, partially drunk partner. "Yeah buddy" Hutch slurred. "You're my best pal, you know that don't you?" "Sure Starsk'" Hutch replied nodding. "Hutch?" Hutch sighed, "Yeah Starsk'?" "I think you were right.." continued Starsky. "'bout what?" Hutch was too drunk to really listen. "'bout me relying on you too much." Starsky looked at his friend. Hutch was thinner and looked ragged. The last month had taken it's toll on both men. "I aint gonna do it no-more Hutch. It's not fair. You give so much. I think I burned you out!" Starsky said regretfully. "Hey buddy" Hutch smiled, a sleepy smile "That's what friends are for." "I know it but I'm gonna try harder to get through this alone. Okay?" Starsky was insistent. "Starsky, I told you, when Venna died, you'd never be alone. I meant it! I'm sorry for the past few days. I was hurting too, you know? I miss her and I couldn't share that with you, couldn't face you. The guilt..." Hutch stopped and thought for a while. With a sigh he continued, "The pain you were in. I couldn't handle it." he explained. "And now?" asked Starsky. Hutch looked at him, puzzled, "And now what?" he asked. "Can you handle it now Hutch? You had me real scared. Hell I thought you were dyin' or somethin'" Starsky laughed, uncomfortably. "Oh Starsk'..." Hutch was full of regret, "We'll do what we always do buddy, we'll be there for each other. Who else we gonna trust right?" "Same as we always do Hutch" responded Starsky jerking his thumb firstly to Hutch and then to himself and grinned.
That night Hutch spent the night on the sofa, in the den. Too tired, and too drunk, to drive home.
Next morning Starsky was up early, preparing breakfast for Dylan, when Hutch woke. He was making pancakes and had already gotten, the sleepy little boy, out of bed and dressed him. Hutch looked around, not quite realising where he was, at first. His head felt like someone was sawing it in two. His mouth felt like the bottom of a camel's foot and he was a mess. Yawning and stretching he slumped off the sofa and dragged himself to the kitchen, where he could hear Starsky and Dylan. As he walked in he was reminded of the morning after Venna's death, only it had been he cooking pancakes and Starsky that had slept in. "Morning buddy" he smiled as he walked in. "Morning partner. Hey, you feel as bad as you look?" grinned Starsky. "Worse" laughed Hutch. "Heya buddy" he smiled at Dylan. "How you doin'?" he asked. "I'm okay Hutch. Starsky's making pancakes, you want some?" asked the little boy. "Sure Dylan, how 'bout I go get cleaned up first huh?" "You sure do look terrible Hutch" said Dylan and both Starsky and Hutch laughed. "I think..." began Starsky "Ah Starsk'" interrupted Hutch. "huh?" quizzed Starsky. "Starsk' I think I'm about ready to go back to work, what do you think? Gonna join me. Partner?" "I think maybe that's a great idea Hutch. I've kinda got day care sorted. You remember Dylan's friend Michael?" "Yeah Starsk'" "Well he has a nanny and she said she'd be happy to take Dylan from school and keep him till I get home. I gotta talk to Dobey about getting me off nights. I gotta be here for Dylan, but I think it's workable." Starsky had already thought about returning to work and was going to speak to Hutch that day anyway. He was also thinking that, if he had to collect Dylan from Rosie's home, every evening, it meant he would be able to see her everyday, without Hutch having to know.
After breakfast both detectives and Dylan got in the car, for the journey to school. Starsky was going to drop Dylan at school, Hutch at the station and then go and visit Rose, to finalise the child care arrangements. As it was he managed to bump into Rose, at the school and everything was organized before he had even taken Hutch to the precinct. "Let's go up together, eh partner?" asked Hutch smiling. Starsky nodded and grinned. Life is getting back to normal. he thought and was thankful that he had Hutch back.
Parking the Torino out front, Starsky had felt funny about using the police parking lot, since the Gunther shooting, both men bounded up the steps to the station.
Captain Dobey was thrilled that Starsky and Hutch wanted to return to work. However you would never have guessed it. "And about time!" was all he said, when they told him, but he was smiling as they left his office.
There was a mountain of paper work, sitting waiting for their attention but neither officer fancied the thought of tackling it. "Let's hit the streets, Starsk'" suggested Hutch and Starsky found he could not wait. They cruised their beat in Starsky's car, highly visible, so that every punk, in every alley and every hooker, on every corner, would know they were back. Hutch could not believe how well he and Starsky had taken to the street again. It had been several weeks since either man had done any police work. He kept looking across, at his partner, wondering if Starsky felt the same way. As if sensing, that Hutch was questioning him, Starsky said, "Yeah buddy, in case you ask, it feels good to be back!" They smiled to each other.
