Thanks, Megan, for your review! Here's another chapter :)
Viviane didn't get better. The next day the Silent Brothers returned, performing more peculiar rituals on her and drawing runes Helen had never seen before. But nothing seemed to help her condition; not the daily visits of the Silent Brother; not the soup Andrew tried to cook and after the fourth attempt finally succeeded in making; not the hours Viviane's children spent at her side, praying for her to be alright again.
On the fifth day Viviane regained her consciousness, but only to have it slip away from her again after a few minutes. It was barely enough time to ask her how she was feeling, or if there was anything in particular she wanted. So the Blackthorn family was left with guessing what the right thing to do was, and with hoping that eventually it would help.
A gloomy atmosphere had settled over the Institute in the following weeks, and everyone wandering its hallways looked as somber as Helen felt. Very rarely were the hallways filled with voices those days, and Helen started to forget what it was like to laugh. All she knew was how it felt to be sad, day after day, and her eyes were itching with tears. All those weeks, which slowly turned into months, she kept her focus on taking care of her siblings, so she wouldn't think about the inevitable. What made it even harder was the conversation between her father and the Silent Brothers she'd overheard the other day, about precautions to Viviane's death. To them, it wasn't a matter of if but when.
Not being able to talk to her brother Mark about it, was tormenting Helen. He hadn't spoken to her since that incident two months ago, up until the day after Helen had witnessed the conversation and bumped into him.
It happened on the way to the training room and Helen immediately apologized to him.
"You hurt?" she asked. She was in a bit of a hurry. Ever since she took on looking after their siblings, her schedule had been crammed. Mark had occasionally stepped in to help her, but overall he'd been very aloof. She'd started to suspect it had nothing to do with her anymore.
"Yeah. I'm fine," he mumbled in response, not even granting her a glance. He already tried to squeeze passed her when she stopped him.
"Wait. There's something I need to tell you."
His eyes narrowed on her and he stopped. "Too little, too late, don't you think?"
"That's not what I was trying to tell you," said Helen very calmly. "I overheard father talking to Brother Enoch and –"
"You eavesdropped?"
Helen seemed to have gotten his attention as he stared at her with wide, curious eyes.
"How did you manage to do that? Dad's always so careful about it."
"Well, I got my ways." Helen couldn't help but smile; it was only fleeting.
"But listen." She lowered her voice, leaning in closer to Mark. She didn't remember being this close to him since that other day at training. "They are already planning Viviane's funeral. Apparently she's been in a coma far too long to ever wake up, and there's no rune that can help with that. At least, that's what the Silent Brothers say. But they can't just let her die, right?"
By the end of it Helen had lost her confidence and she'd sounded more desperate than ever. Almost as desperate as Mark looked.
"What did father say? He can't possibly agree to this!"
Helen shook her head no. "He said himself that it wasn't Viviane's time to go. He's convinced that she can still be cured. Maybe not by the Silent Brothers, but we might be able to."
The devastation was writ large on Mark's face, and he averted his gaze from her, stammering, "B-But what if they're right? The Silent Brothers have been around for so much longer than we have and no one is as experienced as they are."
"So now you're agreeing with them?" Helen snapped. She frowned, turning away from her brother. "It was a mistake coming to you."
She took a step forward, but was stopped by a firm grip on her shoulder. She whirled around, another harsh comment already on her lips, but faltered when she saw the hurt on her brother's face. Only now did she notice the dark circles underneath his eyes, the evidence of countless nights of fitful sleep, and the fine lines of worry that showed at the corner of his mouth. And when her eyes met Mark's, the same blue-green color, she saw something breaking in them, like a wave on a stormy sea.
"Mark," she whispered. It was all she could manage.
And then Mark's grip on Helen's shoulder loosened and he drew back his arm only to bring it forward again; this time he pulled Helen into a tight embrace. Helen yelped, the air catching in her throat, but she let her brother hug her. She ran her hands up his back and pressed her palms against his shoulder blades, feeling his muscles. He was starting to become a man, and yet he was so fragile. Helen wasn't ready for her younger brother to become a man; she hadn't been on the day of his first training, and she'd never be.
He released her, as unexpected as he'd pulled her in, and all the pain was gone from his face. He looked dead serious now.
"Helen, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been avoiding you all this time. Viviane's sick, and if –" he stopped, swallowing. "When she dies, we need to be there for our siblings. And I need you to be there for me."
"You don't need to apologize." Helen took hold of Mark's hand again. "I'm the one who should say sorry. And I am. Katerina –"
"No don't," Mark interrupted, wresting his hands out of her grasp.
Helen blinked at him, confused. "Didn't you want to know?"
"You don't have to tell me. I believe you that you're sorry for what you said, but I don't need to know the reason why you did say it. If that's something between you and Katerina, fine. All I need to know is that you're sorry, and that you forgive me for being so hard on you."
"I am sorry. In fact, I am very sorry," Helen said.
"Me too." Mark's lips curved into a weak smile. But then it vanished and was replaced by worry again. "We're in this together, aren't we?"
"Yes, we are. We'll get through this. Together," Helen replied and managed to flash him a smile.
And even though she hadn't known it at that point, she didn't smile for a long time after that day. Clearing things with her brother had been a relief, and knowing that when things got bad he'd stay at her side was an even greater comfort. But seeing the way her father looked at Viviane every night, when he sat by her bed, waiting for her to wake up, was breaking her heart. And she wondered if it would be enough to have her brother, not only for her, but for her father and her other siblings. She knew she'd deal with it some way, but it was her siblings she worried about.
Viviane's condition didn't change for another week; even though she was awake every now and then, her fever had gotten worse. A cluster of people were constantly huddled around her bed, taking her temperature, administering medicine or asking her how she felt, repeatedly. As it turned out, all what Viviane needed was to see her family. Against the Silent Brothers' will, Helen brought her younger siblings to the infirmary twice every day, once in the morning and then again later in the evening. Each time they entered a smile spread on Viviane's face and she started to laugh, hugging each of her children. Helen couldn't imagine what it must've felt like for her to not being able to see her own children, and what was worse was the fact that they had to keep Tavvy away. As a newborn he was too fragile and he could easily get infected.
So most of the time Helen was taking care of Tavvy, and it was only then that she realized how time-consuming a baby was. She gladly looked forward to training every morning after breakfast, where there would be no dirty diapers or sticky fingers or deafening cries. And preferring training over babysitting even astounded Helen, considering that Katerina still avoided speaking to her.
"You have to lower your arm," she'd say, or "You have to shift the emphasis on your right leg." But she wouldn't say anything unrelated to training. She wouldn't even say hi or goodbye.
One morning Helen was sick of the charade, feeling exhausted after a sleepless night besides Tavvy's crib, and she walked into the training room, cheerfully calling out "Hello!" simply to upset Katerina. She'd definitely had caught the other girl off-guard. Katerina whirled around, gawking at Helen, and in the end she replied to her with a short hello. She then resumed whatever she'd been doing before Helen's great appearance.
"Where's Mark?" Helen asked surprised.
Katerina mumbled something in return, but it was drowned by the clatter of knives and all sorts of other weapons as she continued to rummage through a box.
"What did you say?" Helen started to get annoyed, which happened a lot lately, with her nerves as thin as wires.
"I said," Katerina replied while getting back up, a bunch of knives in her hands as if she was holding flowers. "Mark's not coming today. He told me he's got some place else to be."
"What? Where else would he have to be?"
Katerina shrugged. "I don't know. And I don't care. Gives me the chance to get you forward with your training. It's time we get you something more… advanced."
At that last word Katerina had smiled mischievously, her crystal blue eyes gleaming.
Helen flinched, her stomach lurching both with excitement and apprehension.
"Don't look so shocked," said Katerina, still smiling. "It'll be fun. I promise."
And then she vanished in the weapons room to the left and again there was a clacking and crashing sound. When Katerina reappeared she was holding a bow in one hand and a quiver full of arrows in the other. She shoved the bow into Helen's hands and flung the quiver onto her shoulder.
"You've proved to me on several occasions that you know how to handle a seraph blade and daggers. Your aim is exceptional, as you've showed me in our knife-throwing lessons. So this has to be your perfect weapon," Katerina explained, taking a step back. Helen was glad she did, because the close proximity to her tutor turned her legs into goo and the scent of her perfume made her feel dizzy.
"We're going to use the same target as always," Katerina continued matter-of-factly. "Here's an arrow."
She pulled one out of her quiver and handed it to Helen, who took it hesitantly. It felt alien in her hands. She was certain that it even looked ridiculous the way she clumsily held the bow.
A few seconds passed in which Katerina expectantly stared toward the target, and Helen desperately looked from the bow to the arrow to her tutor. Then Katerina turned to look at her.
"What are you waiting for?" she asked.
"But you haven't even shown me –"
"You'll know what to do," was all Katerina replied. She returned her attention to the target.
Helen blew up her cheeks. Too many things had happened in the past two months, but she wouldn't let this get to her. She'd show Katerina that she could do it.
Quite confidently she grabbed the bow, trying to imitate the way she'd seen her father or brother hold it, and she placed the arrow in the spot she thought it should be. She took another minute adjusting the bow, and then she pulled the arrow and the string back, the string almost touching Helen's lips as she did so. She could feel the faint vibration in the string as she pulled it. Eyes glued to the target, she let the arrow fly, watched it hurtled through the room, and slap to the ground inches in front of where it was supposed to go.
"Not so bad for your first shot. You'll have to put more strength into it, draw the string a little bit more," Katerina said, already handing her a second arrow. Helen took it, angrily gritting her teeth.
She brought herself into position again, fitting the arrow to the bow, and pulled. This time she pulled as hard as she could, the string cutting into her fingers, and only when she thought that neither the bow nor the skin on her hands couldn't take any more did she release the arrow. This time it shot through the room in a straight line and hit the target with a satisfying thump. It wasn't the bull's eye, but the target nonetheless.
"I did it!" Helen exclaimed, holding the bow up high and cheering as if she'd just defeated a Greater Demon. It certainly felt that way.
She excitedly jumped up and down, gripping the bow in her hands like a trophy, and for a split second all she cared about was that perfect shot. She forgot about Viviane and her siblings, about the Silent Brothers roaming the Institute, and about the demons lurking in the dark, and instead she felt as light as a feather in a summer breeze.
Holding on to that feeling, she reached out for another arrow and Katerina handed it to her without hesitation. She aimed, she shot, and the arrow hit again, this time even closer to the bull's eye. Her body buzzing with adrenaline, she grabbed another arrow, almost snatching it out of Katerina's hands. She was so busy with shooting arrows and cheering over each one that hit that she didn't notice the way her tutor stared at her. Only when they ran out of arrows did Helen turn to look at Katerina and see both astonishment and pride on her face.
"Well done, Helen." Katerina was smiling widely. But there was something in the way she looked at Helen, a gleaming in her eyes, that made her feel uneasy.
"Uh, thanks," replied Helen, her face flushing. "I should go get the arrows, then."
She shouldered the bow and walked over to the far wall to collect the arrows. She only had to pick up one; the rest stuck to the board that served as the target. She'd started to pluck them out, one by one, when Katerina joined her, taking the arrows from her and putting them back into the quiver. The faint glimmer was still in her eyes, and Helen wondered what it meant.
"Can you do another round?" Katerina asked as she took another arrow from Helen. "I thought maybe we could try it from a bit farther back. See how far you can shoot. But before that I'd like to show you how to improve your technique."
"Um, sure."
"Great." She put the last of the arrows back where they belonged. "Now take your bow."
Helen did as advised, warily watching Katerina as she put down the quiver and stepped up behind her. Suddenly, Katerina's hand was on Helen's, the one holding the bow, and the touch of her fingers on her skin sent thousand icy needles down Helen's spine.
"You okay?" Katerina asked, her hand still resting on Helen's.
Helen nodded.
"Okay. You have to hold it a little bit more like this."
Now Katerina had both her hands on Helen's arms, placing them in the right position. She did that very gently, her hands soft, but determined on Helen. When she had Helen the way she wanted it, she stepped back, her fingers grazing Helen's bare arm.
Then, all of a sudden, the bow slipped from Helen's grip.
"I'm so sorry. God, I'm so clumsy." She quickly got to her knees to pick up the bow, but her hands were shaking uncontrollably and the bow slid from her grasp once more.
"Sweaty hands. I'm so sorry," Helen repeated. Her heart was beating so fast and so loudly, it almost deafened her. When she didn't get hold of the bow on her third attempt, her eyes started to fill with tears.
She straightened up and angrily kicked at the bow. It hurtled through the air and landed a few feet away with a crack, the string snapping.
Tears now trickled down her cheeks. She wasn't even sure why she cried, but she felt so angry and so frustrated that it took the breath out of her lungs. The tears were hot on her cheeks, almost like acid on her skin, but she didn't wipe them away. She just stood, her hands loosely at her side, and cried.
Suddenly, soft hands touched her shoulders and pulled her into an embrace. She could smell Katerina's sweet, lingering perfume clearly now and it brought even more tears to her eyes. She twisted and turned, away from Katerina and that endearing smell, but she couldn't move under Katerina's tight grip. Instead she collapsed against her tutor, resting her head on her shoulder, and sobbed.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she heard Katerina say. She shook her head no. Strangely, she felt incredibly stupid, and her sorrow turned into anger, making her tears stop. She pushed away from Katerina, who watched her, bewildered.
"You okay?"
Helen nodded. "I'm fine."
Katerina was still very close to Helen and it made her nervous. She tried to get some distance between them, but Katerina had hold of her hands and still watched her with wide, blue eyes. Now her tutor looked angry, but there was something else in her eyes, the glimmer Helen had seen earlier.
"Are you…okay?" Helen asked worriedly.
Helen waited for a response; there was none. Then Katerina moved closer, very close, and Helen could see every freckle on her face and the light breaking in her crystal eyes. Her perfume tickled Helen's nose once more.
"Katerina?"
Her response was nothing Helen had expected.
"Maybe it wasn't a mistake after all."
Helen had been a hundred percent certain that she'd misheard, but then Katerina's lips were on hers and everything around her seemed to explode into spangles of color, like her own personal firework. She suddenly felt excited and happy, and hundreds of other emotions she never experienced before crashed down on her. The kiss was intense, Katerina's lips demanding on Helen's, but it was over far too soon.
Katerina pulled away hastily, which sent a blow to Helen's stomach, reminding her of how she'd felt the first time Katerina had turned her down. Nausea overwhelmed her, and she quickly pressed her hand to her stomach.
"I was being honest," Katerina said, now standing some distance away. "This wasn't a mistake, and neither was last time. But…"
She stooped down, retrieving the bow Helen had dropped.
"But?" Helen urged.
"Somebody's coming. We'll talk later." Katerina finished the sentence with a wink and then disappeared into the weapons room, supposedly to get a new bow. Helen looked after her, suddenly grinning like a fool, until a group of Shadowhunters entered. That's when she had to hide her grin, but it came through every now and then as she went on to explain the Institute to the Shadowhunters, who were visitors from Idris. The kiss was always in the back of her mind and the taste of Katerina lips always on hers.
