So this is the third part of Take A Bow. It took a while because my life is insane right now and because I had too many ideas on how to do this. Finally I settled on how I wanted it to start and just let my muse take me to a natural ending, which means this chapter is longer than the last two and I'm a little in love with the way it ends.
Just a quick aside: I understand that not everyone loves my stories and that's cool. That's fine. There are plenty of incredible writers for this fandom. That being said, if you didn't like Take a Bow, and you didn't like Fallen, then you're going to hate this one too. So do us both a favour and don't read it and don't review it. I don't need to hear that they're OOC each chapter, because I plan on writing them the same way until this little 'verse is done.
To everyone else, you're fabulous (even if you keep convincing me to continue stories I wasn't going to continue.) I adore each and every one of you. And when I have more time I promise I'll respond to all of the reviews.
The song is "I'm Not over" by Carolina Liar. I own nothing. Enjoy!
What a waste of time
The thought crossed my mind
Can't explain this thing, or what I mean
I'm trying to let go
Felicity moved around her little kitchen as the sounds of the Rockets game echoed through her condo. Roy and John insisted on watching the last inning while she finished cooking. She couldn't complain, it gave her a few minutes to herself.
She missed the days when hanging out with the two of them was fun and easy. She missed Team meals at Big Belly Burger and dim sum Sundays.
Things had changed, they'd had to, after she left the team. At first, things had been difficult but the three of them had made it work. They'd ignored the horribly large elephant in the room and simply enjoyed each other's company. They'd gone to Rockets games, tried out new restaurants around the city and caught the latest movies in the cinema down the street from Felicity's condo.
She absently stirred the pasta sauce.
It wasn't so easy anymore. Fun didn't come quite as easily. John tried too hard to make her smile. And Roy studied her, never offering an explanation why. Roy rarely said much of anything.
So she relished these little moments of solitude to prepare herself. And really how pathetic was it that she needed to prepare to spend time with the people she loved?
The timer on the stove beeped and Felicity drained the noodles. She dished out generous portions of the pasta, adding meat and cheese to each dish.
"Chow's ready!" She called out as lightly as she could manage.
She carried the dishes out to the table as the men turned off the TV and sat down. Roy and Dig dug in eagerly. The smile on her lips fell as her eyes flickered over the empty chair across the table from her.
Ridiculous.
How could she miss his presence at her dinner table when he'd never actually eaten there before?
"How is Lyla and Andy, Dig?" Felicity asked before taking a bite of pasta.
Dig began to regale the two of them with tales off his precocious one year old son. Felicity smiled along with Roy, though her attention was decidedly elsewhere. Little Andy was her godson and she adored him. The thought of him always caused the tiniest of aches; she knew that Dig had wished to name both Felicity and Oliver the godparents.
Felicity shoved another forkful of noodles into her mouth.
It had been nine months since she'd last seen Oliver. Nine months since she sat in the lair. Night months since she helped the Arrow fight crime and save lives.
And she missed all of it.
She missed being a hero. She missed standing for something good and right. She missed watching her friends spar while she worked on code. She missed guiding the team through abandoned buildings and hacking intel.
She missed him.
She was still angry. She still felt the sting of his betrayal. But she missed him.
She hadn't sat around pining over him like a lovesick fool. She had dated. She'd met several nice men; good-looking men, smart men, funny men. But Felicity hadn't made it past the first date with any of them. She slept with two of them in a desperate attempt to just get over it. To get over him.
It didn't matter how nice they were, or how funny. None of them were quite right. Some were too short, some were too tall. Too thin, too muscular. They laughed too much or too loudly. Their smile was either too big or not genuine enough.
Felicity Smoak wasn't an idiot. She knew exactly who she was comparing those men to. And it pissed her off. It drove her absolutely crazy.
"Felicity?"
Felicity blinked twice before settling on Dig's face. "Sorry."
His smile was strained. He knew just where her thoughts had been but he didn't mention it. "I have to go. Amanda called Lyla in. Thanks for dinner."
She waved after him as he hurried through the door and out of her condo. She watched the door close behind him and turned to face Roy. The younger man was quietly studying her, his dinner finished and forgotten.
Suddenly uncomfortable, she glanced down at her food and stabbed a noddle with her fork. She hadn't spent any time alone with Roy in quite a while and now she remembered why.
He was so much like Oliver.
The two of them had always had similarities. Roy had worshipped Oliver even before he realised just who he was. And as Oliver taught him and worked with him, the bond had only grown.
"How is he?"
Her eyes snapped shut as the words fell from her lips. She had never asked about him. She'd never asked either of them about him. Occasionally she'd slip up and ask about their missions, but never about him.
He was silent until she opened her eyes and glanced up at him. His face was expressionless as he watched her. It was unnerving, how similar it was to Oliver's mask of indifference.
"Felicity, if we're going to have this conversation, we're going to do it properly." He replied evenly.
Her mouth popped open in surprise. "What?"
He shook his head. "I'm not going to give you a one word answer that makes you feel better. If we're going to talk about Oliver, then we're going to actually talk about it."
She considered taking back her question. She thought about asking him to leave.
"Fine." She replied instead.
Roy nodded and got to his feet. She waited in confusion as he walked out of the room and into her kitchen. When he returned with two bottles of beer she raised an eyebrow. "That bad, huh?"
Roy cracked a wry smile. "We'll both need it."
The two of them opened their beers and clinked the bottles together. "Where do we start?" He asked.
Felicity scraped a nail against her bottle. "The beginning."
I'm not over
I'm not over you just yet
Cannot hide it
You're not that easy to forget
Roy wasn't much of a talker. Thea used to joke about how he was the strong, silent type. And she was right, mostly. Being silent had meant survival in the Glades. It meant noticing things and people that no one else saw.
He had known from the very beginning of his time on Team Arrow that Felicity was special. He had seen the way she brightened each and every room she walked into. He had respected her opinions and avoided her loud voice.
He had also seen just how much Oliver worshipped the ground she walked upon. He'd seen the unguarded moments between the two of them. He'd watched as Oliver let his guard down and touched Felicity, always innocently, when he spoke with her. He noticed the way her whole face would light up under Oliver's praise.
He saw the way that Oliver's eyes followed the blonde.
The addition of Sara to the team changed everything and nothing. Felicity was hurt and Oliver was guilty. But Felicity still beamed when Oliver was around.
And Oliver still watched her like she was the sun shining through his never-ending midnight.
He watched the two of them dance around each other in the months that followed Sladegate. He watched Oliver rebuff Laurel. He saw the eager faces that trailed in Felicity's wake.
He even understood why Oliver kept her at a distance. It was the same reason that he'd forced Thea to break up with him. Because there were several kinds of women in the world, but none of them were like Felicity and Thea. None of them were as strong or as beautiful.
And there may be 4 billion women in the world, but only Thea made Roy's life worth living. And only Felicity could make Oliver Queen smile.
And he would do anything to keep Thea safe. Even if it meant breaking his own heart to do it.
So yeah, he understood why Oliver had never made a move.
"He destroyed just about everything the day you left." He told her. She said to start at the beginning, but Roy wasn't there for the beginning. He knew the story. He knew that the two of them had fallen a little bit in love that first day, even if they didn't know it. He didn't need to recap their will they/won't they relationship. They'd all been there.
What Felicity had really meant was the end. The end of their relationship, the end of her partnership with the Arrow. The end of everything they'd all built together. The end of Felicity really laughing and Oliver smiling. The end of everything that really mattered.
"I found him there, helped him clean up." He paused. "Only the computers remained unbroken."
He didn't tell her why. She didn't need him to. She knew Oliver cared about her, even though he'd hurt her so badly.
"He spent the next week getting drunk out of his mind. Dig was a little worried the hangover would kill him." Roy caught her eye. "I think Oliver kind of hoped it would."
Felicity looked away and nodded for him to continue.
"It took him a while to put the hood on again. We trained together and waited until he was ready." He gave her the facts. He wasn't much of a talker and talking about feelings was not his forte. She would fill in all of the blanks. "He went back out in the field and kept fighting for the city.
He watched her lips purse together and he knew what she wanted to ask. "We didn't touch your computers. It was kind of unspoken but we knew he didn't want us to. We used radios instead. They're still exactly like you left them," He grimaced. "Well mostly."
Felicity's brow furrowed in confusion.
"Laurel showed up a few months ago and decided to be his new tech girl." He watched as she seethed and bit back a smile. "It didn't go very well."
"What do you mean? Was the system too complicat-" She trailed off when he waved her off.
"He freaked out. Lost his temper and told her to get out. She said-" He waited until she met his gaze. "She said you weren't coming back. And he just gave it to her. She hasn't come back."
She was surprised, he could tell. She'd never had much of a poker face.
"He put a predator in a coma that night." He added quietly.
He gave her a few moments to collect herself. He had told her they were going to be honest. And she wanted to know. She needed to know. He'd watched her, he knew that she wasn't over it, over him.
"He lost control. And he was more surprised by it then we were." He drained his bottle. "He's a mess. He has been for years. Eventually he was going to crash."
Felicity nodded distractedly.
"He got kind of reckless after that. He was distracted." She raised an eyebrow in question but he ignored it. "He got shot. Bled out."
He let the words hang there and watched her. The blood drained from her face as if she was the one bleeding out.
She loved Oliver still. That much was obvious and had been clear every time he'd seen her since she'd left.
"We barely got there in time. He wouldn't fight. He seemed-" He paused, unsure of how to continue without betraying Oliver. Without hurting her. "He seemed like maybe he was okay with it. We worked on him all night. He kept flat-lining."
Felicity exhaled through her teeth, fighting to keep the tears at bay. "When was this?"
"Two months ago. Dig and I had to take turns as the Arrow for a while." He stood and headed for the kitchen, giving her time to calm down. He slowly grabbed two more beers and made his way back to her. She nodded her thanks and opened the bottle.
"He took time off?" Disbelief colored her tone and he smiled.
"When he came to, Dig was ready to read him the riot act. But he didn't. Oliver knew. He got it." He explained, sipping from his beer.
Felicity scoffed and he shot her a look. "Is this the part where you tell me he's a changed man?"
"Don't do that. You wanted to talk about this." He glared at her until she shrugged and motioned for him to continue. "He's still fucked up. He's always going to be. You should have known that." He raised a hand as she opened her mouth to argue. "I'm not saying what he did was your fault. I would never say that. Because it wasn't, Felicity. He screwed up." She nodded slowly. "I won't defend what he did. Hell, he wouldn't defend what he did. And he hasn't."
"So then what are you saying?"
Roy scratched his chin. "What I'm saying is that now he knows he's screwed up. Now he gets it. He's not in denial anymore. He sees the pattern and he's working on it. He's been seeing someone and-" He trailed off when he saw the tears pooling in her eyes. His own widened and he shook his head. "Jesus, not like dating someone, Liss. I mean like a shrink. He's been talking to someone about some of his stuff. Obviously he has to be careful because of all his secrets, but he's seeing some guy who does the shrink stuff for A.R.G.U.S."
He reached forwards and covered her hand with his own. "He hasn't dated since you left, trust me. And we both know he has options. Laurel was after him for months and he wasn't interested. I never thought I'd say it, but Oliver Queen is celibate. Celibate. So no, he's not a changed man. He's still messed up." He caught her gaze. "But he's celibate, Liss. And I know you know how big a deal that is."
Felicity sniffled and nodded. Her free hand wiped at her wet eyes for a moment before she asked him the question he'd been waiting for. "Why are you telling me all of this? I mean, I know that I asked. But you're fighting for him."
Roy squeezed her hand lightly before pulling away and leaning back in his chair. "Because I understand exactly what he's going through. I know what it's like to find someone who just makes the world spin, you know? I know what it's like to find someone so good, so pure, that they pull you out of the nightmare that is your life." He glared at a spot over her shoulder. "And I know what it's like to break the heart of the only person who matters and watch her walk away."
She was silent for a moment as he bit back the bitterness that came with thoughts of Thea. He missed her and he worried about her every damn day.
"It's not the same, Roy." Felicity insisted quietly.
He rose from his seat and looked down at her earnestly. "It's exactly the same thing, Felicity." He dropped a kiss to her forehead.
He didn't look back as he walked away from her. Closing the door to her condo behind him, he hoped that just maybe she'd consider his words.
Because Oliver was still a mess and Felicity had every right to be angry with him. But neither one of them had been okay since she'd left.
And if the two of them could work it out, then maybe, just maybe, there was still hope for him and Thea.
I'm not over
I'm not over you just yet
Cannot hide it
You're not that easy to forget
So I'm still not sure how that happened, but I loved the parallels between the two relationships. I used them last chapter but having Roy feel the same way meant something to me I guess. That's the first time I've written Roy, I hope you liked it.
Again, if you didn't like it, then please don't bother reviewing.
I'm obviously not done with this 'verse. I'm a sucker for a happy ending, and while I'm sure that's how this one will end, I promise it will be happier than it is now.
