(TRIGGER)WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SELFHARM AND ABUSE.


ORIGIN OF MAYHEM - CHAPTER SEVEN - QUIT IT


''I was born in a thunderstorm. I grew up overnight. I played alone, I played on my own. I survived. I wanted everything I never had. Like the love that comes with light. I wore envy and I hated that, but I survived.''


Once Dolores stepped inside her own house, she realized she was alone. For real now. She couldn't go back to the life she had with Samcro. It was dangerous, she knew and they didn't want her there anymore. Just a few seconds ago she had heard Donna had been killed. The woman she had been talking with a few hours ago. She had lost her job. And she had no idea where Stephen could be. She wouldn't blame him if he already had left her. Maybe she should just leave town and start over again, somewhere else. Somewhere far away from her old life. Maybe New York?

Dolores walked her way to the kitchen and started looking for her hidden pack of cigarettes. She found it in one of the counters, where she had hid it a long time ago. She lit up a cigarette and sat down on a chair as she stared in front of herself. She started to feel lonely and sad again. She took a drag from her cigarette when she could feel tears coming up. She tried to keep them in. She didn't want to cry, not anymore. She got tired of it.

Once she finished her cigarette, she pressed the butt out on her wrist. She closed her eyes when she could feel the pain. It's an escape from reality. No matter how temporary it is was a relief to escape all the pain. And hell, she deserved it. It was her on stupid fault she had lost her job and her own family. God, she hated herself.

It was already late. Dolores had no idea about the time, but she was sure midnight had already passed. It was dark outside and the streets were quiet. Dolores decided to go to bed, hoping to get some sleep and leave her thoughts alone.


When Dolores woke up in the morning, she felt even more terrible then the night before. She had only slept for a few hours and had slept horrible. She got out of bed and had decided to take a shower. When she turned on the shower and felt the warm water running down on her, she gave in. She could feel herself falling into pieces. She started to cry and couldn't stop anymore. Whenever she thought she was done with crying, she started crying again, over and over again.

Maybe she had been in the shower for more then an hour, crying and feeling bad about herself before she got out of the shower. When she had dried herself, she put on a sweater and sweatpants. She wasn't feeling hungry at all and sat down on the couch and stared blankly in front of herself. She had no work today ofcourse. What the hell was she supposed to do with her life now? Sit and clean all day? That wasn't something for her, she had to keep herself busy with something. Maybe it was a option to find a new job. She was sure everyone in Isleton knew about her bad reputation. The gossip must have reached everyone by now. Maybe moving away from Isleton wasn't such a bad idea after all. Maybe she just should pack her bags, leave and never look back.

Someone opened the door and got inside. Dolores didn't even bother to look up. She didn't care anymore, not about anything. ''Dolores?'', she heard him asking. It was Stephen. She could hear him walking to her and he wasn't looking very happy at all. ''You got arrested?!'', he started yelling at her. ''You lost your job because of that! What the hell were you thinking?!'', he continued shouting at her. ''I'm sorry Stephen.'', she replied, trying to avoid looking at him by looking at the ground. She didn't want to make him more angry then he already was, or this could even end more bad for her then it already was. ''I don't need your apologies!'', he yelled again. ''What did you do Dolores?!'', he shouted as he grabbed her arms and pulled her off the couch, making her look right into his angry eyes. ''Was it because of your stupid biker family?!'', he shouted in her face. Dolores replied by a simple nod, too afraid to say something.

This only seemed to make Stephen more angry. He hit her across her face and Dolores felt directly down on the ground. He started throwing with things, with the coffee table and threw the dresser across the room. He started kicking and throwing with whatever was in his sight. When the whole room was a mess, he started to calm down. Now he was fixed at her again. He knelt down beside her as she sat on the ground, her cheek hurting. ''You got the kid?'', he asked again, his voice lowering. She looked at him as she could feel tears coming into her eyes again, apparently she wasn't done with crying at all. ''No... I'm so sorry.'', she replied with a crack in her voice. ''I don't want you around these guys again Dolores. They only bring you trouble.'', he told her. She sniffed and quickly whipped away her tears. ''I guess that's no problem. They don't want me around anymore.'', she replied to him. He took a look at her cheek, at the spot he had hit her. It'd leave a mark, that was for sure. He cupped her chin in his hand and made her look into his eyes. ''I'm sorry Dolores. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want the best for us.''

After he let out a deep sigh, he got up again and paced through the room. ''We're going to make them pay. I have a plan. We'll take the kid with us and get married. We will start our own family.'', he stated. Dolores frowned. This wasn't what she had in mind, not at all to be exact. She never intended to make samcro or her family pay for it. Why the hell would she get revenge on them? It was her own damn fault and choice, not theirs. ''But we-'', she started, but got cut off before she could even finish her sentence. ''You need to sell this place. You can't pay for the house with no job, you come and live at my place. It's safer anyway.'', he told her as he turned around and looked at her. She was still sitting on the ground, looking at him. ''No-'', she tried to argue again, but again she was cut off by him. ''Listen to me Dolores. I'll take care of you and if you don't agree, I'll make sure you will.'', he pressed a gentle kiss on her cheek. He walked his way to the door, ready to leave again. ''I know someone who would like to buy this place. Grab your stuff, I'll pick you up tomorrow morning. Oh and clean this awful mess Dolores.'', he told her before he left.

After she had heard him driving away, she got up and walked to the window, to be sure he had really left and thankfully he had. As fast as she could, she walked to her bedroom. She searched in the her closet for the burner she had hid earlier. This was probably a stupid idea, but it was the first thing that came into her mind. She dialed the number and heard it ring, over and over. ''You have reached the voicemail of-'', the voice said and she pressed the call away. She let out a sigh, before she looked at herself in the mirror. Her lip was split and her cheek was all red. It would turn into an awful bruise, she was sure of it. She closed her eyes. There was nothing she could do about it anymore. So she decided to clean up the mess and pack her stuff, just like Stephen had told her too. After all he had a plan to take down Samcro and Dolores couldn't sit and watch how he would hurt her family and friends she cared so much about. Or maybe this could be a closure to her. A goodbye. To quit her old outlaw biker life. Quit it, she told herself.


Just like the others, he parked his bike in line at the Teller-Morrow lot. He stepped off his bike as he heard his phone ringing. He looked at his phone and saw the caller id. ''Shit.'', he said. ''Who's it?'', Clay asked as he looked at his stepson. ''It's Lola.'', he replied as they looked at each other and shared a look together. ''Press her away. She needs to move on and quit this shit.'', Clay stated. Jax sighed and did as his president say. He pressed her away and put his phone back in his pocket. He agreed with his stepfather, but deep down he had the feeling something was wrong.


Like always, Stephen kept his word. He had picked her up in the morning and helped her moving her stuff to his place. Correction, his parents place. Apparently Mr and Mrs Davenport weren't at home. Somehow she felt relieved about them being away. She didn't want to face them, not now. She had been arrested, lost her job and now her face was a total mess. It was quite a scandal, especially in a town like this.

While she was unpacking her stuff, Stephen had been talking to her about the person who was interested in her house. But she didn't pay much attention to it. Some other things were on her mind. She just agreed with everything he asked her about it. As long as she got the money out of it, she was fine with it. ''What's your plan?'', she suddenly asked out of the blue. He looked at her and showed a gentle smile. ''You will see Dolores. Don't rush things. We can take our time for it.'', he replied. ''I was just getting curious. I'm sorry.'', she apologized quickly. ''We'll go to the horse races tomorrow. You need to be perfect darling. Put on a nice dress and maybe even some make up to cover up the bruises on your face. '', he told her as he watched her putting her clothes away in his closet. ''Why are we going to the races?'', she replied as she stopped and looked at him, quite confused. He never asked her out with just the two of them. They only got out with his friends or family. '' I have an important meeting tomorrow and I want you with me. You will get some answers tomorrow. I promise.'', he said as he pressed a kiss on her cheek. ''I'm off to work, I'll be back by dinner! Make something delicious tonight Dolores!'', he said before he left again.

Now again, she was left alone. The night before she had heard that Donna had been killed. She still felt horrible about it. Before Dolores had left Charming, she had talked to the woman and even had a laugh with her and now she was gone. Just gone. Again she was reminded about the danger the club was always in. It could have been her. They easily could have killed her. She knew her father wanted her far away from the club because of the danger and so she did. But living this life wasn't free of danger too. Would she ever be out of danger? She hoped it would quit. She was done with it. Maybe tomorrow would give her more answers and less danger somehow, but she had a bad feeling about it.


AN: The end of season one! It's quite dramatic and heavy chapter, I know. The next chapter will start with the beginning of season 2 and I've already planned it out. I hope you all liked this chapter, please leave a review!