All was well. Orochimaru-sama was off on the training grounds teaching Sasuke-kun a new jutsu that was coming along quite nicely. Kabuto had just finished checking all the medical supplies and genetic experiments. Everything was in its place, just as it should be. Everything is perfect, mused Kabuto. Their enemies seemed to have forgotten all about them as they hadn't had to move their hide-out in a while. Those bratty Konoha nins, Sasuke-kun's "friends", had made no move to come after them again either. In just a few weeks Orochimaru-sama would be safe and sound in his new body. Maybe it's just a little too perfect, he thought, Then again, I might as well enjoy the peace while it lasts.


Little did he know, but Orochimaru and his subordinates would soon be the next victims to fall prey to the Konoha's new most wanted pranksters.

"OI, SAI!"

Sai cursed his fate and then accepted it. He had completely given up trying to evade the orange-clad lunatic. If there was one thing everyone knew about Naruto, it was that he never gave up. "Yes," he sighed.

"Do you have a credit card dattebayo!"

Sai really should have seen what was coming next, but if there was one thing everybody knew about Sai it was that he never learned, especially when it came to those idiotic nicknames. "Yes, I do. Danzo-sama gave this to me after you spent all my cash so I could get some more art supplies," he said holding it up so Naruto could see, "Wait, why—

But, alas, the fool had already run off, credit card in tow, to spend it on who knows what. Sai just hoped for once it was something practical instead of itching powder and bug spray. Today would forever be remembered as the one day in Konoha history that Sai made no attempt to cover his feelings with his cheesy trademark smile. In fact he scowled quite darkly, made no attempts to be sociable, and went around muttering strange things like, "I hope all the ramen in the world disappears." People steered away from him on streets and avoided eye contact.

The next day Naruto returned the maxed out credit card saying that he had put it to good use dattebayo.

"What did you buy?" Sai asked dolefully, staring at the now useless piece of plastic in his hand.

"Oh just some stuff online for our next prank. I'll show you when it comes in dattebayo!" Naruto winked and ran off once more. Sai sighed (no pun intended), which he seemed to be doing quite a lot lately, and went home. Everything went back to normal for the next two days and then came that morning when Sai woke up to…


" Why are there boxes full of Kabuto plushies on my doorstep!" a statement which effectively woke the neighbors up.

"Oh Sai, that's just the stuff I bought for our next prank. And it's not just plushies, its assorted Kabuto merchandise dattebayo! There're even Kabuto shaped candles for…er…"

"Voodoo?"

"Yeah, that's the word! This is going to be awesome dattebayo! So here's the plan…"


And that is the story of how Sai found himself lurking around in the basement of Orochimaru's hideout pushing a wheelbarrow full of Kabuto merchandise. Naruto walked a little ways ahead of him holding a long piece of rope and ducking around corners like the ninja that he was whenever he thought he heard a noise.

Now they were hiding out in a dark room. Naruto looked around the doorway and signaled back to Sai that it was safe. Sai pushed the wheelbarrow steadily onward when…

"I would advise you get out of my room," came a rather bored and slightly irritated voice from right behind them, " You've been crouching in my doorway for the past ten minutes so I'm guessing you have no business being here…Naruto?!"

For at that moment Naruto had indeed spun around with tears streaming down his face. "Sasuke-teme! Oh, how I've missed you dattebayo!" he blubbered.

The bewildered Sasuke instinctively took a step backwards before regaining his composure, but at that moment Naruto lunged at him capturing him in a big bear hug. "Go Sai! Fulfill your destiny dattebayo! I'll be fine and don't forget to give Kabuto the letter!"

Sasuke looked more confused than ever, "Letter, what letter? Get off of me Naruto! Chidori!"

"Haha, Sasuke I've got you now dattebayo! You didn't even realize it but this is chakra suppressing rope! Now go Sai!"

Sai contemplated just wheelbarrowing his way back to Konoha and getting a refund but it seemed like a waste to have come this far and not go through with the plan.

"Wait, I don't know where the room is."

Sasuke was now lying on the floor tied up in chakra suppressing rope, "Room? What are you planning dobe?" He was genuinely curious.

And so they told Sasuke the plan and after a lot of arguing and threats he finally said, "Okay I'll tell you. Besides, that creep's starting to get on my nerves. He keeps murmuring stuff about how that accursed traitor, Itachi, dumped him, and about how ssssoon, ssoon, he will have my body. It's seriously freaking me out."

And so Sai changed himself into Sasuke while Naruto decided to keep an eye on the real one and talk about the good old days with him.

Sai left the room still carting the boxes and trying to act like there was nothing suspicious going on. He was just the normal Sasuke with a wheelbarrow full of Kabuto merchandise heading toward Orochimaru's room. Nothing weird about that at all.

Finally the mission was complete and he was heading back down the hallway to Sasuke's room when Kabuto appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh hello Sasuke-kun. I thought you were still training with Orochimaru-sama. What are you doing out here?"

"Um, well I was just going back to my room to take a shower," he smiled brightly, creepily. Kabuto stepped back.

"Are you okay Sasuke-kun, there seems to be something a little off about you."

Sai gulped, think Sai, think. What would the traitor say? What would he say! "I am wearing different underwear today. Would you like to see?"

Kabuto looked like he was choking, "Uh, no thank you. I think I'll just be off."

"Oh wait, the snake man wanted me to give this to you," Sai held out the letter.

Kabuto took it and hurried off. Sai sighed, this time in relief, and practically ran back to Sasuke's room. Meanwhile Sasuke and Naruto were having an argument over which one of them deserved Sakura more when Sai ran into the room breathless. "Naruto, we have to leave now! Kabuto, he knows!"

"Did you finish the mission dattebayo."

"Yes."

"Good then we can leave. See you around teme."

"Wait, you're leaving. Take me with you! I hate this place. Please I'm begging you!" yelled Sasuke in a manner that was in no way Sasukesque.

"But what about you're goal to kill Itachi?"

"…Oh right. Bye then."

And so they made their way back to Konoha and went on with life as usual.


Kabuto looked down at the letter before opening it carefully. He wasn't an idiot and anyone with brains could tell that whoever had given it to him was not Sasuke. In fact whoever it was seemed kind of like Orochimaru-sama with that creepy smile and statement about underwear. He was expecting some kind of poisonous smoke to come out of the envelope but nothing happened. The letter read:

Dear Kabuto,

I was hoping you and I could have dinner together and a little heart to heart chat. Meet me at my room at a quarter to six.

Love Orochimaru

A heart to heart chat about what? And that love at the end was creepy. The letter was typed, though so Kabuto couldn't really tell who it was from. It was almost a quarter to six and Kabuto didn't want to keep Orochimaru-sama waiting on the off chance that the letter really was from him.

Kabuto knocked on Orochimaru's bedroom door. He hadn't been inside for a while since Orochimaru hadn't been very sick lately. Then he slowly opened the door and walked in. The sight that greeted him made his draw drop. The letter fell, forgotten to the floor.

Orochimaru had a bedspread with a full length picture of him on it and a matching pillow. Various Kabuto plushies were littered all over the floor in all different sizes and styles. Some were of him holding scalpels or fixing his glasses. Others were winking and one was even wearing a tutu. There was a realistic poster of him from the waist up taking a shower and another one with a chibi version of him on it that said I love Kabu-chan. On the dresser was a shrine full of prints of Kabuto fanart and kabuto voodoo dolls and lit Kabuto shaped candles. It looked like a crazed Justin Bieber fangirls bedroom but so much worse.

Kabuto took in all this horror and then promptly fainted. He failed to notice that one of the Kabuto plushies had a mini video-recorder, which was sending live feed back to Konoha, installed in its forehead.

About twenty minutes later Orochimaru walked in, surveyed the damage, took note of the unconscious Kabuto on the floor, picked up a plushie, and said, "They messed up my order. I could of sworn I typed in Sasuke when I ordered all this stuff."


Author's Note: I realize that my story doesn't really follow the actual timeline of the show so it's sort of an AU. I guess it's kind of like the universe of Rock Lee and his Ninja Pals, where Sasuke's still with Kabuto and Orochimaru but life is just normal back in Konoha and Sai is part of their team. Also I'm not into Kabuto/ Orochimaru (in fact it kind of sickens me) nor do I really see Orochimaru as a pedophile. I just thought it would make for good comedy. If you enjoyed this then review, if you hated this then review, if you just thought, "Meh," then state that in a review. Adios!