A/N:

Here's Chapter 7! Not too long now before the great big battle, and then on to one-off stories! As always, thanks to Cori and my readers!

Hope you guys find this a great read, and review!


VALUE OF MY LIFE

So many won't get the chance to say goodbye

As the early morning light filled his chambers, Arthur paid little attention to the warmth of the sun and the sounds of birds chattering. Where these simple things would have once warmed his heart when he was feeling low, they now only reminded Arthur that he had only twenty-four hours before Camelot was attacked. He held onto a small, leather-bound book and stared out of the window, watching as long lines of citizens began to file into the citadel. Women and children huddled together, smiles on the women's faces as they attempted to comfort the confused and frightened children. The elderly were sitting on a cart that was slowly being pulled through the lines, with room being made for the smallest of children to sit atop, too. Slowly, the women, children and elderly disappeared into the depths of the castle. Arthur saw Gaius in the courtyard directing people carrying bundles of cloth and what looked like herb baskets to the tunnels as well. William was right beside Gaius, helping him. Galwaine, Arthur presumed, was working with the blacksmiths. For a moment, Arthur watched as the citizens of Camelot walked into the castle, until a disturbance caught his attention.

In a corner of the courtyard that was heavily crowded with a group of men at least 400 strong, a woman was screaming and trying to hold onto a man that had just joined the group. Three children, all below the age of twelve were huddled to the side, wide-eyed and watching what was happening. Arthur opened his window and heard the woman's shrieks more clearly.

"Don't do it, Jonas! Think of the children!" The woman held on tightly to the man's arm. "They need their father alive, not dead! Let some other fool think himself a hero..."

Arthur closed the window and his eyes, welcoming the darkness that came with the small action. He was tearing families apart. The men knew that they were sacrificing themselves, and their wives, mothers, and children knew it, too. Then why do I feel guilty? Arthur's inner conscience whispered. They're risking their lives because you're too afraid to ask Merlin for help and guidance, came the honest answer.

Merlin. Just thinking of the young man below in the dungeons caused Arthur's heart to ache. If Arthur understood everything that he had read, then Merlin would be or was a very powerful sorcerer to have a magical conduit drawn to him. Powerful enough to stop these three warlocks? Arthur could hope, and right at that moment, hope was all that he had. If the book that he held was indeed from Alexander, the brother to Elizabeth, Arthur knew the sort of magic that would be thrown at Camelot. Meaning that I can prepare even better than I could have yesterday, Arthur conceded until his inner voice added, Only if you have Merlin by your side, using his magic. A knock at the door, disturbing the silence and his thoughts, angered Arthur.

"Come!" He barked out and as he turned to face the disturber, his face went bright red as he came face to face with Hunith, who looked unnerved by Arthur's tone of voice.

"Sir Galahad woke me a short while ago and told me to come here," Hunith spoke quietly, yet to Arthur, it felt like she was shouting back. She turned as if to leave and Arthur quickly spoke up.

"Please, Hunith. I'm sorry. I have much on my mind and little to show for it." Arthur watched Hunith turn to her side and look at him, just like his father used to do when he was being judged and found wanting. "These past few days have brought nothing but trouble and heartache, and in the days to follow, there will be an endless supply of blood coating the ground that Camelot sits atop. I've been up all night reading..."

"You don't need to explain yourself to me, sire," Hunith interrupted and Arthur looked at her, puzzled. A ghost of a smile graced the older woman's lips. "A young man, Jack, spoke with me last night, once Sir Galahad had escorted me to my chambers. We spoke of what had happened, of what will come, and I feel at peace for it. I know that I haven't been polite towards you and under the circumstances, I would hope you understand why."

Arthur nodded.

"But Jack told me a lot of truths that I hadn't wanted to acknowledge. I won't reveal what they were, but rest assured that all is forgiven between the two of us," Hunith concluded and Arthur stepped toward her, book still within his hand. A smile blossomed fully on Hunith's lips as she looked Arthur up and down. "You're wearing the clothes that Merlin bought for you. Can I see him, now?"

With a small smile of his own, Arthur nodded and led the way from his chambers.

Merlin watched the lines of people file into the castle and felt a moment of elation, because this meant that Arthur was putting into motion plans to save as many people as possible. Merlin also saw a large group of men being spoken to by Sir Galahad, who was telling them that they had to go down to the forges and claim any and all weapons that they could carry. A moment of sadness swept over Merlin as he realised that these men were going to sacrifice themselves for Camelot, and as quickly as the sadness washed over him, it quickly turned to anger. Foolish Arthur, Merlin fumed and tightened his grips on the window bars, if I were with him, we could go to the Great Dragon for help... Merlin quickly stopped that train of thought, because the memory of their shared dream just hours before caused Merlin's heart to sink. The sound of the cell door opening caught Merlin's attention. Turning around, he saw who had entered, and a huge smile crossed his face, even as tears sprang to his eyes.

"Mother!"

Merlin jumped off of the bench and ran straight into Hunith's open arms, burying his neck into hers as he held on tightly. He could feel her arms hold on just as tightly. After what seemed like forever, Merlin pulled away, and he saw Arthur standing on the other side of the open door. Merlin looked at Arthur with tear-rimmed eyes.

"Thank you, Arthur. Thank you."

The other man nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"I'll be down shortly to speak with you," Arthur stated and Merlin nodded quickly. "I seem to have misplaced the cell key, so I trust you to still be here when I return."

Merlin frowned. "But you have the... oh! Yes, I'll be here when you return."

The two exchanged small smiles with each other before Arthur turned and disappeared, leaving Merlin in the cell with his mother. He turned around and was instantly pulled back into another hug. For a few moments, Merlin just held her back, and he felt all of the stress and tension leave his body. He hadn't realised he had been crying until Hunith pulled away and dabbed at his eyes.

"Oh, mother... I thought I'd never see you again," Merlin sobbed and wiped at his nose before fixing his eyes on her. "I was so scared and then Arthur told me that you were here... I've never been so relieved!"

Hunith smiled at him, a tinge of sadness at the corners of her lips. "I wish I brought good news, Merlin. Ealdor... Ealdor is no more." Hunith spoke quietly and all Merlin could do was hug his mother for the third time. Hunith carried on speaking in his ear, "It was terrifying, Merlin. Snakes everywhere, and everyone was dying around me, and I couldn't help... all that was rushing through my mind was that I had to get out of there, to come to Camelot, to safety... Galwaine was so brave, as was William, but I... I just wanted to be here with my son, away from it all."

Merlin tightened his grip on Hunith before pulling away and looking at her. Standing there, in the cold dungeon cell, Merlin saw how frail and worn down his mother had become after fleeing Ealdor. Seeing her like this filled Merlin with a new sense of strength and purpose. "You're safe now, all three of you. You won't be harmed here, I swear..."

"Don't swear it, Merlin. I know of the danger heading for Camelot, and I would be foolish to think I was truly safe here," Hunith interrupted, and Merlin could see how she tried to draw on her own inner strength. "All I know is that if my time comes, I will be by my son's side and you by Arthur's..."

With that, Merlin suddenly began to cry again, all of his strength leaving his body.

"Hush now, Merlin. It's all right," Hunith soothed, and she took his hand, rubbing it gently. She walked over to the bench, pulling him along and watched as he sat down beside her. "Everything's going to be all right."

"Oh, mother. I've made a mess of everything," Merlin whispered, and she squeezed his hand. He looked at her, hoping that she would give him some words of advice.

"I know that it might seem like that, dear son, but believe me when I say that you haven't," Hunith answered and Merlin could feel disbelief tug at his face. "When I arrived yesterday, with Galwaine and William, I hated Arthur with a passion. How dare he imprison my son for being special, for being gifted! Even last night, when he came to Gaius's chambers to retrieve your books, I wanted to hurl the nearest thing at him."

Merlin let his mother's words sink in as she continued.

"But, even through my anger, and through some words of wisdom from an unlikely source, I know that Arthur adores you. More than I think he realises," Hunith smiled at Merlin, and he could feel the warmth that only a mother could give. "You have to believe that, Merlin, if nothing else."

Merlin looked away then as images of the last few days filled his mind, and try as he might, they all revolved around Arthur. There was Arthur throwing him in the dungeon; Arthur attending both the funeral for Uther, as well as his own coronation; Arthur coming to the dungeon and being told about the truth of who... what... he was; Arthur being allowed to live if Merlin sacrificed himself. Yet one image made him blush fiercely, made his stomach fill with butterflies because of what he had done with Alexander, because of what he wanted to carry on doing with Alexander...

"I don't deserve Arthur, mother, not after what I've done," Merlin told her, and Hunith frowned in contemplation.

"Everybody keeps secrets, Merlin. You aren't the first person to do so, and you certainly won't be the last," Hunith comforted and Merlin wished he could tell his mother the truth, but he was afraid that Arthur would find out and take it the wrong way. "But I know that the love Arthur feels for you, and you for him, will see you through safely. Tomorrow is supposed to be the day where Arthur will need you most, where you'll need him just as much. Tomorrow, the two of you will conquer your demons, and you will grow old together. That much you both deserve."

For a short time after that, Merlin and Hunith spoke of everything from memories of Ealdor, to what dreaded fate awaited Camelot. Merlin asked Hunith to tell William to go to a lake, a few miles south of Camelot and seek out the Lady of the Lake. When Hunith queried why, Merlin simply told her that the Lady held a weapon of his, one which would save Camelot. Hunith agreed instantly and they resumed sharing memories of Merlin's old home. Only when Sir Galahad came to escort Hunith to her chambers did they stop.

"I suppose I have to go," Hunith said and stood up, Merlin right beside her. She turned and smiled at him. "I'm glad to see that you're fine, considering the circumstances. Please, Merlin, just remember that Arthur does love you."

Nodding quietly, Merlin watched as Hunith walked from the cell. She turned back to face Merlin, waved at him gently and then followed Sir Galahad. Merlin rubbed his face tiredly and sat down on the bench, nibbling his bottom lip in quiet contemplation. The things that Hunith had told him about Arthur only made Merlin feel guiltier about contemplating taking Alexander up on his offer, if it meant that Arthur was spared pain. However, it also made Merlin more willing to do what the Great Dragon implied because Arthur deserved it; it would be a testament to the fact that Merlin loved the king just as much. A gentle cough caught Merlin's attention, and looking up, Merlin's breath caught in the back of his throat.

Standing in front of him was Alexander, dressed simply in riding breeches and boots, with a black silk tunic. A long riding cape with bright red lining hung down the tall man's back. Black hair covered Alexander's eyes and Merlin found himself itching to brush the hair aside to look into the brown eyes he knew were hidden there. Merlin hadn't realised that he had stood up until he was standing in front of the other man. Just below the surface, Merlin could feel his magic bubbling. He noticed golden flecks to Alexander's eyes and wondered if his own blue eyes were flecked with gold.

"I didn't mean to disturb you," Alexander began with a small smile, which Merlin returned with his own, "I just wanted to see how you were."

"I'm fine," Merlin answered, "I've just seen my mother, so that's put me in better spirits."

"I'm glad."

"What are you doing here, Alexander?" Merlin asked, even though he could guess the reason behind this visit.

The small smile that had been there faded and Alexander stood there silently for a moment, the two of them just looking at each other, until Alexander broke the silence.

"I've come to see if you've considered my offer..."

As Arthur descended the stairs to the dungeon with the leather-bound book in his hands, he found that he had a spring in his step. For the past hour, Arthur had been in talks with Sir Galahad about the progress of Camelot's battle preparations. He had expected to hear that there wasn't enough time, or enough resources, but instead, Sir Galahad had told him quite the opposite – nearly all of the citizens were beneath the castle in the tunnels; all food that had been in the lower part of the city was being transported to the tunnels as they spoke; most men over the age of sixteen had volunteered to be part of Camelot's defences; the blacksmiths, under Galwaine's guidance, were producing good quality swords and basic shields, and finally, Gaius had set up a secure hospital wing in the tunnels with a growing supply of bandages, herbs and ointments. Arthur had been completely amazed at the progress, and he was sure that the smile on his face expressed to Sir Galahad exactly how pleased he was. Sir Galahad was quick to let Arthur know that the defensive measures were still in progress, but that they would be done by the next day. As Galahad spoke, Arthur realised that he didn't want to face tomorrow without Merlin, no matter what had happened or would happen.

So there Arthur was, walking down the steps and going through a 'take me back' speech. He knew that he hadn't been punishing Merlin by throwing his lover into the dungeons; he had been punishing himself, even though it certainly didn't look that way. Arthur knew in his heart that he should have realised sooner that there was truly something special about Merlin, something so unique that made him more valuable and precious than he could ever have dreamt. Arthur also knew that without a shadow of a doubt, Merlin had kept his magic a secret because of Arthur's loyalty to his father. Getting to the bottom of the stairs, Arthur felt his heartbeat quicken, because he was so close to getting Merlin back. Just then, the sound of talking rose up the stairwell, one voice belonging to Merlin and the other belonging to another man. A small frown creased Arthur's forehead and sneaking forward, he peered around the corner, hidden in the shadows.

A tall man with black hair stood only inches away from Merlin, and Arthur could feel an electric charge in the air between the two of them. The stranger's hand lightly brushed Merlin's, and Arthur watched as his lover looked down at the hand, but didn't draw it away. From where he hid, Arthur knew that Merlin wouldn't be able to see him, so he listened intently.

"You know I can't accept your offer, Alexander," Merlin spoke, and Arthur's breath caught in his throat. Could this be the Alexander who wrote the book? And what offer? Why can't Merlin accept it?

Arthur watched a rainbow of emotions pass over Alexander's face, and Arthur's eyes narrowed when he thought he saw attraction flicker in his eyes.

"Why, Merlin? If Arthur cared for you, loved you, then I would understand your decision. I would even go so far as to admire your loyalty to him, even with the promise of certain death," Alexander began and brushed his thumb across Merlin's cheek. "Merlin, please, reconsider. I beg you. I don't want to see you hurt tomorrow, not in any way."

"Alex..."

"I don't want to see you die, not someone as special as you," Alexander implored, and Arthur was surprised to hear such compassion in the other man's voice, such raw emotion from someone who would attempt to destroy Camelot tomorrow. Alexander's hand came up again and this time cupped Merlin's cheek, "Please, Merlin. I don't know what I would do if any harm came to you..."

Alexander leaned in then and placed his lips atop of Merlin's, his other hand pulling Merlin close to him. Arthur felt a sudden surge of intense anger swell within him and reacted at the same instant that Merlin pushed Alexander away.

But it's too late to pick up the value of my life

As Merlin pushed Alexander away, he felt his world slow down as a sudden swell of anger raged through his body. His head whipped to the side and saw Arthur charging towards Alexander, who had stepped back only a few steps. Merlin watched as Arthur smashed into the taller man, sending them both sprawling onto the floor. Just then, his world returned to normal speed and Merlin saw Arthur deliver a bone-cracking punch to Alexander's jaw. Alexander shoved Arthur away from him and as a long, black staff appeared in Alexander's hand, Arthur raised his fists again. Merlin stepped between the two.

"Stop this, right now!"

The tone of Merlin's voice quickly caused the men to look at him. Arthur looked angry, and Merlin could sense the thoughts running through his head, thoughts of possession and love and things that Arthur wanted to say. Alexander seemed ashamed, which Merlin presumed was due to his actions, yet the black staff remained raised and directed at Arthur. A thin line of blood ran from Alexander's mouth where Arthur had punched him.

"You're both behaving like children, children who don't want to share a toy," Merlin berated, and he looked at Arthur first, letting Arthur's anger fuel his own. "You have some nerve, Arthur Pendragon. You throw me in here, leaving me to await my death tomorrow, and you get jealous when a man kisses me. Have you actually stopped and wondered within the last forty-eight hours, why I haven't left this cell, even though I could have?"

Arthur suddenly looked ashamed and stood up straighter, eyes cast downwards.

"The reason I've not left this cell, Arthur, is because I haven't wanted to leave you. If being in here is as close to you as I'm ever going to be, then I'll take that over being out of the cell and never with you again. For God's sake, Arthur, I'm in love with you." Merlin edged closer to Arthur as his voice softened. "I'm in love with you so much that it hurts. I know that you're upset about the kiss, I can feel how upset and angry you are, but that doesn't give you the right to charge at Alexander because he's attracted to me."

Merlin reached out and touched Arthur's hand, causing the blonde to look up at Merlin. Merlin could feel the anger subside and instead, his body filling up with feelings of remorse and shame. Squeezing Arthur's hand, Merlin turned around and focused a heated glance on Alexander.

"And you, Alexander, I have words for you. I will never side with you and your siblings, not while I still draw breath in my body and not while I'm in love with Arthur."

Alexander's eyes darkened. A slight tinge of fear crept through Merlin, but that fear quickly went away as Merlin felt Arthur's hand resting against his hip. Taking a breath, Merlin continued.

"I'm sorry, Alexander, truly I am. I know that tomorrow, many could die, and I could be one of them. But I'd rather die with Arthur by my side, knowing that I love him, saving Camelot, than trading my own survival for the guaranteed fate of everyone else. That's not who I am, it's not who I'll ever be. Can you ever understand?"

Alexander looked at Merlin momentarily before nodding his head, taking a step towards Merlin before stopping.

"You've made the wrong choice, Merlin, but I won't try to change your mind. You're someone special, someone who should have the world before them and not have to want for anything. I know I can give you that, and more," Alexander's eyes twinkled with desire and a heated blush crept up Merlin's body. "You're throwing away the chance to be with people who are like you, who have the strength of magic that you will soon have, and for what? A chance to spend your last moments with a man who doesn't deserve you? Tomorrow, if you change your mind, all you need to do is give me a sign, and I will guarantee your survival."

With that, Alexander pushed past Merlin and Arthur, disappearing from sight. For a few moments, they stood in silence, Arthur's hand still on Merlin's hip. Turning around slowly, Merlin stared down at Arthur and rested their foreheads together. Arthur's spare hand came up and settled against Merlin's chest, directly over his heart.

"Why did you come down here, Arthur? Why were you hiding?"

"Hiding? I wasn't..."

"Yes, you were. I could feel you, standing outside the cell and looking in," Merlin interrupted and closed his eyes. "So why were you hiding?"

Arthur took a deep breath, and Merlin waited for him to answer.

"I was coming down to see you, to tell you things and I heard you talking with another man and I..." Arthur paused briefly, "I guess I got jealous and angry, because I thought that... with everything that I wanted to say... I thought that I had actually lost you completely."

"Tell me, Arthur. Tell me everything you were going to tell me before you saw Alexander in here."

"I've been such a fool, Merlin, a complete and utter fool. I should never have thrown you in here, and I've regretted that since I first did it. But instead of letting you out, I've kept you in here, and it was only to punish myself. I know how special you are, Merlin, and I should have realised that sooner, but again, I was a complete fool and didn't see you for you. I... I can't bear to be without you, Merlin, I love you so much. If I'm going to die tomorrow, then I want to die knowing that you know how much I love you..."

Before Arthur could finish, Merlin firmly locked his lips to Arthur's. As Arthur's mouth worked against his, Merlin pushed the two of them to the wall and pinned Arthur there, moaning in sheer delight at the feel of Arthur's arousal prodding him in the thigh. Merlin wasted no time in trying to get Arthur's tunic up, but Arthur pushed away, lips bruised from the heat of the kiss.

"Not here, Merlin. I want our last time before tomorrow to be right..."

Not waiting for further instruction, Merlin held Arthur by the hand and dragged the young king out of the cell.


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