Here's the next chapter :)

Summary: Ethan overhears some people talk about Will in a less-than-pleasant manner (read: extremely inappropriate insinuations) and gets a little bit ticked off (read: really fucking angry), coming valiantly to Will's defense. The entire mixed-signals situation confuses and frustrates Will, and he gives Ethan an ultimatum.

"I'm done trying to figure you out. If you're up for explaining, great. If not, then let's just go back to being colleagues, okay? Just colleagues, because I don't think I can take any more emotional hits."


I've Traveled All This Way for Something (Pt. 2)


I coulda gave up then but
Then again I couldn't have 'cause
I've traveled all this way for somethin'

Imagine Dragons - On Top of the World


"You look fine," Jane says impatiently when Ethan tugs self-consciously at his tie for the sixth time.

"You okay there, Ethan?" asks Benji. "You look nervous."

"I'm not nervous, why would I be?" mutters Ethan as he gives his tie a final tug and then knots his hands in his lap. "Just feeling restless."

Neither Jane nor Benji believe it.

They're in the front row, right next to the Director and the Secretary and all the dignitaries. Will's going to be up to speak in a few minutes. Normally Ethan hates seminars, hates them so much he would rather stab himself in the toe a million times than sit through the crushing boredom, but this is Will. He's rather shit at saying no to Will, he's discovered.

It's some kind of analyst thing, where every new analyst is crammed into a room and the Director, Secretary and Chief Analyst give them some kind of motivational, "welcome to the IMF" speech. Ethan's been to one before, when he first joined. It was deathly boring then, and it's deathly boring now. So far, that is. Ethan's pretty sure he's not going to be so bored when Will steps up.

It's a huge deal to Will, for some reason. He was excited when they asked him to speak, even more so when Jane and Benji promised they would be there. Ethan didn't even need convincing – even though things between them are still strange, Ethan wants to be there for him during his moment.

"Will's coming up in a minute," Jane, on Ethan's right, whispers. Ethan's heartbeat speeds up, much to his annoyance. He tugs at his tie again and ignores Jane's eye-roll.

"Your pupils dilate when you look at him," Benji mutters, and Ethan sits ramrod straight.

"What?"

"Your pupils," Benji says, quite seriously. "They dilate when you look at Will. It's even more noticeable because of your eye color."

"What's your point?" asks Ethan, somewhat irritable that Benji seems to have figured it out.

"You like him," Benji states casually. "You really like him a lot, Ethan. It's sort of obvious."

On his other side, Jane snorts. "Obvious? He might as well put up neon signs."

Ethan feels his face go warm and knows he's blushing, right up to the roots of his hair. "Really?"

"Really," confirms Benji. "And do you know something? His pupils dilate too, when he looks at you."

Even though Ethan already knows Will likes him, Benji's statement gives rise to a flare of warmth in his chest. "Really?" he repeats, knowing he sounds like an idiot in love. Which he is.

"Really," Benji and Jane both answer. They smile at him, and Ethan tentatively smiles back. This is what he loves about his team – that they're supportive, and they're not judging him for anything.

Except maybe his fashion choices, as evidenced by Jane's earlier look of mortification when she saw what Ethan had decided to wear. In Ethan's defense, the blue suit is his favorite, and he doesn't care if the bright yellow tie and tan shoes don't go with it.

His train of thought goes to hell when Will comes up on the stage, and Ethan actually feels his mouth go dry. Will looks stunning, dressed in a simple gray suit, with his hair carefully spiked. He looks incredibly self-confident and assured, and Ethan has to resist the urge to go up onstage and kiss the shit out of him.

Though maybe an apology is in order, first. Ethan's working on it.

He's still having second thoughts about asking Will out, can't bring himself to do it. Something inside him twinges every time he meets Will at work or talks to him, every time he looks into those bright blue eyes and remembers what they'd looked like two weeks ago, when he'd shot Will down. He hates himself a bit more with each passing day, but he still can't make himself go talk to Will.

Will begins speaking, and Ethan tunes everything out except for the sound of his voice, and the way he moves when he talks.


They go to see Will after his bit is done, and Jane gives him a tight hug. "You were wonderful," she tells him, smiling. "People actually enjoyed your speech, I saw so many of them paying attention. It was amazing."

Will goes a little pink at the praise, but thanks her anyway. Benji offers compliments as well, and then adds, "Though I think Ethan's the one who enjoyed it the most, Will. He was so focused on what you were saying."

The bastard, Ethan thinks as he sees Will go a darker pink and turn to look at him. "I'm glad you liked it," Will is saying, and Ethan almost hits himself. This is his fault, he reminds himself. His own fault that Will is being so stilted and formal, so different to the easy, comfortable friendship they'd built up.

"I honestly did," he finally says, and offers Will a tentative smile. "First time I actually paid attention to one of these things."

He tries not to think about the blinding smile Will gives him.


"You should go talk to him," Jane says during dinner. The three of them are seated at a table in a corner, with two other people. They've saved a place for Will, who's currently talking to Brassel somewhere.

Ethan sighs. "I know," is all he says.

"She's right," Benji pipes up. "I mean, I don't know what happened between you two, why he's being so strange with you, but you need to talk and sort it out. It's making both of you miserable."

Ethan blinks. "He's miserable?"

Jane nods. "I went to his apartment last weekend to drop off some papers. He was still in bed. It was noon, Ethan. We're talking about a man whose idea of sleeping in on Sunday is to get up at 7 instead of 6. And he's been eating tons of ice cream."

"Breakup food," explains Benji, like Ethan's an idiot who doesn't know these things. "Which is weird, since you two were never technically together, but you know. He's miserable. Point made."

"He just looks like a kicked puppy all the time," Jane says, the corners of her mouth pulling down. Ethan knows she's come to regard Will as a little brother, someone she can fuss over and take care of and look after. She respects him and admires his skills, but she's not above mother-henning the hell out of him should he require it.

"Except when he's talking to you," Benji adds. "Then he looks marginally better, but not in a good way. Like – like, 'I know I'm gonna be miserable soon so I might as well be happy while I can' kind of way."

Ethan sighs again and pushes his plate away, appetite vanishing. "This is my fault," he declares, and raises an eyebrow when Jane and Benji don't bother to contradict him. They totally should, he thinks. Just on principle. "It's my fault," he repeats, and Jane raises an unimpressed eyebrow in a go on manner. "I ignored him for four days after he stayed over, and then I took him out to dinner and he said he wouldn't mind if it was a date and all I said was 'okay' and I said it in the most dickish way possible."

There's a momentary silence, and then, "Wow, mixed signals much?" This from Benji.

"I am a horrible person," laments Ethan, even as Jane pats his arm consolingly. "I'm truly terrible. I deserve to be shot in the knees with a crossbow."

"I wouldn't take it that far," Jane says. "Just go talk to him, Ethan. Explain. I'm sure he'll understand."

Ethan nods at her. "Yeah. I should do that. I should go talk to him."

Benji smirks. "Smart man." Ethan, in a show of maturity, sticks his tongue out.

They eat in silence for some time. Well, to be accurate, Jane and Benji eat while Ethan ponders the best way to get back in Will's good graces. It's then that he begins to subconsciously pay attention to the other two people sharing the table with them, a guy and a girl not more than 21. It takes him another moment to realize they're talking about Will.

"You know he's also a field agent, right?" the girl is saying. "Like, he was just the Chief Analyst before but after Ghost Protocol happened he joined Ethan Hunt's team."

"I hear Hunt's got the hots for him," the boy adds, and Ethan starts, wondering if the boy overheard them talking. Apparently it's just a rumor though, and Ethan relaxes. Rumors can die off, but not if they've been accidentally confirmed by the very subject of them.

"He probably does," the girl says indifferently. "Brandt's quite a goodlooking man."

Ethan feels a sudden stab of irrational jealousy.

"Do you think they're together?" the boy asks.

"Doesn't matter what I think," is the girl's answer. "As long as it doesn't have any influence on how they do their jobs, I don't think anyone should care."

Ethan wants to buy the girl a drink, or maybe send her a fruit basket, but he can't do either so he settles for aggressively nodding in her direction and ignoring Jane and Benji's bewildered expressions.

He dismisses the conversation from his mind soon after, writing it off as just some more office gossip. In fact, he doesn't think about it until he's in the parking lot an hour later, after having said goodbye to Will, Jane and Benji.

There is a group of younger agents walking behind him, talking amongst themselves. They're quite loud, and Ethan listens absently as he walks towards his car. "It's got to be it," one of them is saying. "Probably the only reason Hunt keeps Brandt around. I don't think he's much good for anything else, really. And did you even listen to his speech tonight? I've never been so bored in my life."

"Totally, man," agrees another. "I mean, he's really smart, but that's about it. I don't think he's got much skills as a field agent."

"Nah bro, he was on the Dubai mission with Hunt," contradicts a third. "I've heard Hunt keeps saying that it wouldn't have been possible to get IMF back up without Brandt."

"Well, of course Hunt would say that, right?" argues a fourth. "If he and Brandt really are, you know. Going at it."

Ethan can't repress the angry noise in the back of his throat, fists clenched by his sides. It's then that the guys realize he's even there. "Dude," one of them says, awe evident in his voice. "You're Ethan Hunt."

"I'm aware," Ethan says, stopping by his car. He brought the Porsche out tonight, opting to leave the Stingray home. It helped get to the venue (and Will) faster.

They stop too. "Did you hear us?" the third one asks, not even looking a little ashamed.

Ethan nods coldly. "Loud and clear."

"So is it true?" presses the first one. "Are you and Brandt sleeping together?"

Ethan cannot believe the gall. "Does it matter?" he asks evenly.

"Well," says the second one. "We just want to know if you're only keeping him around because he's good in bed. I mean, that's got to be it, right?" he adds at Ethan's unimpressed look. "It's the sex, isn't it?"

"No," Ethan says bluntly, his tone suggesting bloody murder. "Will Brandt is an excellent agent, and I'm glad he's on my team. He could kick all four of your asses simultaneously. With one hand tied behind his back and blindfolded. And no, I'm not sleeping with him," he adds, his tone taking on a terrifying quality.

The boys actually back off. "Whoa man, calm down," says the third one. "We didn't mean anything by it. It's just that, people talk, y'know? There's rumors. And you guys seem to spend an awful lot of time together even when you're not on missions."

"We're friends," Ethan says, gritting his teeth. "Friends are allowed to spend time together. Now, are we done here, or do you need to ask any more stupid questions?"

The boys just kind of scramble, and Ethan feels a kind of vindictive satisfaction when he sees that they actually look scared of him. He still feels angry enough to skewer someone, though; his hands are shaking and he's grinding his teeth together. He doesn't think he can drive until he calms down – and there is only one thing he knows will do that for him.

He goes back inside, to Will.


He finds him chatting with Jane and Benji in the lobby, while they wait for Benji's cab to arrive (his car just kind of died on him without so much as a puff of smoke in warning). Still gritting his teeth, he strides up to them, grabs Will's shoulders and asks, straining to keep his voice at a reasonable volume, "Do you have any idea what these people are saying about you?"

Will blinks. "Aren't you supposed to be going home?" he asks in return, voice steady even as Ethan's fingers steadily dig into his shoulders.

"I ran into some boys in the parking lot," Ethan tells him, loosening his grip a little. "They were saying things, Will, insinuating stuff. And some people at dinner were saying the same."

"And what exactly were they saying?" inquires Will. Jane and Benji are standing aside, watching the conversation proceed with equal amounts of curiosity and concern.

Ethan sighs, his hands automatically moving closer to Will's neck. "They were talking shit. Some stuff about – about how you're only on the team because you're sleeping with me."

Will's eyes go wide, but other than that there's no indication that he's understood. "Okay," is all he says. "Let them talk. That's what people do, Ethan – they talk."

"It doesn't bother you?" insists Ethan, his hands resting on either side of Will's neck. "It doesn't bother you at all that this is what they think of you?"

Will's completely still, taking in shallow breaths as he registers the feeling of Ethan's hands on his neck, the touch light and soothing. He doesn't know what to make of it, and it's clear on his face. "Ethan, I don't care what they think of me," he says. "I don't need to, because the people who really count know that that's not the truth."

"It's still an awful thing to say," Benji cuts in. "I'd hate for someone to say that about my friend."

Will offers him a somewhat strained smile. "Thanks, Benji, but I really don't care what they think. As long as you, Jane and Ethan know that it's not true, then I don't mind."

Ethan releases Will, making a frustrated sound. "Fuck," he swear angrily. "Will – fuck, I – how can you – doesn't it make you feel – oh my God." He's livid to the point of speechlessness, something that rarely happens to him. Will just seems so apathetic and indifferent to the whole thing, and Ethan can't understand why. "I might actually kill them," he mutters when he sees those same boys from earlier entering the lobby. "Screw it; I actually will."

Jane has to put a hand firmly on his arm to prevent him from stomping over to them. Benji looks worried, and Will is just watching Ethan closely, like he's trying to understand something. Just from his face, Ethan can tell he's thinking a mile a minute.

"Ethan, no," says Jane. "Hurting them won't change a thing. If anything, it'll only confirm what they're saying. You'll only make things worse for yourself and Will. Don't."

"Jane, you didn't hear what they were saying," Ethan says, voice stretched tight. "You didn't hear the way they talked about him – I can't, Jane, I can't tolerate anyone speaking about him that way. I won't tolerate it."

"You have to," she says. "Look, I don't like it anymore than you do, okay? And neither does Benji. And believe me when I say that if we hear anyone talking about him in front of us we'll kick their asses. But here, and now? Ethan, there's so many people around. To them, you'll look like the perp, like you attacked for no reason." When Ethan still doesn't look convinced, she adds, "It's Will's night, Ethan. Let's not ruin it for him."

Ethan finally relaxes, because Will is his fucking magic word and there's nothing he won't do for him. Benji looks relieved, and says, "Rest assured, though, they'll find some very nasty things waiting for them when they switch on their computers at work."

Ethan smiles tersely at him. "Thanks, Benji."

Will's still watching him wordlessly, and now his gaze has begun to unnerve Ethan. Partly to get rid of it, and partly so he can make sure Will's all right, he says, "Let me walk you to your car."

"Benji's cab," Will begins, but it's Jane who cuts him off.

"I'll wait with him, it's all right," she smiles. Ethan loves her so much right now. "You go on, Will."

He frowns a little, but says, "Okay, Ethan."

Ethan waits till they're outside before asking, "Will, did you know all of this?"

Will exhales, and nods. "I had some idea, yes. But like I said, I don't care and besides, no one ever said anything directly to me."

"It's not fair," fumes Ethan. "I don't want them to think that about you."

"Why?" asks Will abruptly.

"Well, because they're wrong," Ethan says, a little nonplussed that Will's even asking. "And because you're important to me, Will. I care about you."

At that, Will makes an impatient, frustated noise in the back of his throat. "You know what I don't understand, Ethan? You do all these things for me, and sometimes I think you actually care about how I feel, about me, but then sometimes you act like I'm just a useful tool, just an asset to the team. Just tell me what you want, Ethan, because I'm sick and tired of trying to figure you out. I've worked myself insane trying to understand where I might have gone wrong and turned you away, but I don't get it, and I'm honestly just... tired."

Ethan's speechless, like he's wont to be around Will. He hates his brain for going blank this very moment, but then in all fairness, what Will said is kind of hard to process and may take time.

"You don't need to reply," Will tells him. "It's just me being pathetic, okay? I fooled myself into thinking there was actually something, and I didn't even bother to stop and ask myself if it even made sense. Like, why would you even bother with someone like me, right?"

"What do you mean, someone like you?" Ethan finally says, a little hoarsely.

Will waves a hand around. "Oh, you know," he says bitterly, "just that I'm not exactly someone you'd be proud of dating. Not fucked up old me."

"I don't think you're fucked up." Good job, Ethan, he congratulates himself. You're a real charmer. Sweep a man right off his feet.

Will laughs mirthlessly. "Whatever, Ethan. Bottom line is, I'm done trying to figure you out. If you're up for explaining, great. If not, then let's just go back to being colleagues, okay? Just colleagues, because I don't think I can take any more emotional hits." Without waiting for a reply, he stalks off to his car, leaving Ethan alone and feeling like shit.


He lies awake for a long time that night, mulling over Will's words. He knows he's ruined Will's night, and he hates himself for it. He hates that his own selfish drama spoiled Will's joy, and he hates that he made Will upset.

He thinks about the ultimatum Will's given him. If you're up for explaining, great. If not, then let's just go back to being colleagues, okay? His insides seem to coil when he even considers the possibility of never being friendly with Will again, not being able to fix what he's broken between them. He doesn't think he can stand seeing Will everyday, going on missions with him, but not being able to joke with him or talk to him or comfort him on his bad days.

He remembers the way Will curled up next to him, that night when they were both sick, and slept contentedly. He knows it's because Will has placed a great amount of trust in him, trust that he never wants to lose. He thinks of how perfectly Will fit into his side, and how amazing it felt. He remembers the feel of Will's hand in his. He thinks of Will's voice, and how amazing he sounds when he laughs. He recalls Will's smile and the way his eyes crinkle and how blue they can be, especially when he's happy–

He makes a decision – he's going to go talk to Will tomorrow.


I live off feedback.

Love
Remy x