(A/N - I don't really write in P. so the quality of this chapter isn't to good in places, in my opinion, but it does give us an insight into Cal's midset. Part of this chapter may also seem a bit filler-ish, but don't worry, it's all going to kick off soon. ;) Also T/W - Use of drugs in the following chapter.)
*Flashback to the morning after the night before - Cal's P.O.V*
I had that familiar feeling in my head - clearly I'd had a little too much to drink when I was out last night. My hand found it's way to my temples, and I rubbed them gently in an attempt to calm the throwing. However aswell as the familiar feelings of a hangover, I felt something else, a sudden feeling of low. I had a fragmented memory of prior evening, but I'm almost certain I took something. I'd felt the lowest I'd ever felt; grieving isn't something I'd ever been good at. The guy seemed like he meant well, told me that they'd pick me right up and have me feeling great. He'd given me a packet of them, didn't cost much as I recall, and I swallowed a couple with my drink at Albie's. Anything and everything after after that was really cloudy, but I seemed to have gotten home safely so it's all good. My body heaved it's self up into a sitting position, and I glance to the clock, seeing that it was only 8, but I wasn't working today - who cares? As I was going to get up another piece of my evening came back to me, and I had to stop myself by sitting down and leaning against the back of the sofa. Her sobs echoed around my head, she'd said no, a rage had encompassed me. What had I done? My hand was now quivering slightly, as I reached for the partially full bottle of wine at my feet, that had somehow found it's way there in the evening while I was still drunk. I took a couple of large swigs from the bottle, leaving it almost empty, I needed to feel numb again. How could I have done that to her - I'd done it again, betrayed all trust and ruined another great friendship. My hand scrambled to my pocket - they were in there, I could feel numb again, take the pain away. I still missed my friend, and now I'd gone and done this. I popped one out and into my hand, but closed it tightly as my brother entered. He'd been there, I remember waking slightly, he was leaving, I remember seeing him follow paramedics. As he walked past me to the kitchen his eyes dug into me, as cold as ice - he knew me as the monster I truly seem to have become. He left after about 20 minutes, although he didn't let a single word, or drop of emotion spill out, and for him this was the worst thing he could do, it's so unlike him. I took a long exhale, and swallowed the small pill with the last bit of liquid from the bottle. I felt calm again, a release. I didn't want to think about what I'd done at the time, the high help me brush it off - she'd refused, but she'd lead me on, it was her fault, not mine..
*End of P.O.V*
Star had arrived home now, and she took a deep breath before opening the door, unsure would be in and who was working. She was met with an empty lounge, and shut the door gently behind her. As she turned back around to walk back in Zosia seem to appear from nowhere,
"Hey you," She greeted with a grin, as she pulled her into a hug, with Star having to fight the urge to once again flinch and pull away. The effects of what Cal had done suddenly becoming startlingly clear in her mind. "Are you okay? We were all so worried!" She continued, as the pair went to sit down.
"Yeah, just me being clumsy as usual," Star replied, ensuring she kept her lies in check, for now at least, facing it seemed almost impossible right there in the moment once again. Her sister nodded, and Dominic then enter the room. He grinned at the two of them,
"Hey Star - you feel better now?" He asked her, glad to see that she'd been discharged quickly. An almost silent sigh escaped Star's lips, as although she knew they meant well she wished that everybody would stop asking her. It made her feel like they were all waiting for her to crack, and fall to pieces. However she simply nodded,
"Yep, I had to get some stitches on my head, so I hope I don't end up with a bald patch!" She quipped, trying not to let it sound as half hearted as she felt. Dom and Zosia both laughed, and he looked down to his phone to see the time,
"Shit, I've gotta run or I'll be late - see you two later!" He called, darting out of the door.
"Stitches to your head?" She then quizzed, "What did you do, it must've been bad?" Star's blood ran cold, thinking quickly to build up her story,
"Oh I was heading to Albie's for a drink, but I tripped and fell on the curb," She explained, shaking her head at her 'clumsiness'. Zosia mirrored the shake of the head,
"Oh - Good job! You do know that the falling and such is generally supposed to occur once one is intoxicated?" She quipped, causing them both to laugh. Star nodded,
"I'll keep that in mind!" She remarked.
The two sister spent the next few hours talking, but as lunchtime came and went Zosia had to leave for her shift. Star decided to go and get some sleep, as the hospital had been a noisy environment, so sleep had been scarce. However, rather than actually sleeping, she knew simply lying there presented the golden opportunity to simply think, plan a course of action. Although this would be a good idea, she didn't want to face it, it was to much, and an irrational part of her prayed that if she fell asleep she'd wake up and it'd all be gone. She felt almost unable to deal with it, as if she was to small, too frail, too weak, to fight against him. Her body curled up into a tight ball, as she attempted to allow the sweet sleep to take her over, but it didn't work he mind was still racing. Thoughts of going back to work also cropped up, remembering that she'd have to see him then, and that there would be no choice in the matter. A sigh escaped her lips as she got up from the bed, deciding her efforts were in vain. She found herself walking to her dressing table in the corner, and sat down on the small stool. Her eyes met those of her reflection, and she took a long hard look, realising that this was the first time she'd properly seen the extent of her injuries. She couldn't help but gasp. The cut along her head, where she'd hit the cabinet on her way down to the floor, was a deep crimson, and rather striking in depth even though it had been stitched up. She lifted back her fringe, and beneath it was a selection of black, blue and purple bruises, from where he'd originally struck her, and a few of them peaked out from the bottom and sides of her fringe. She sighed, and felt a hot, salty tear roll down her cheek. As she reached up to wipe it away, the brushing from his hold caught her eye, as they emerged from her jumper sleeve; she realised just how right Ethan had been that morning, there was no running from this, especially since she'd been left in more of a state than she'd first thought - physically and emotionally.
Elsewhere both Dom and Zosia had just began their lunch breaks, and we're sat around a table in pulses. The were in the midst of a conversation about the day, but Zosia had become distracted by her wandering mind, and broke in suddenly,
"Do you believe what Star told us this morning?" She blurted out. Dominic pulled a face, confused,
"What?" He replied.
"Do you believe her?" She repeated, "About how she got those injuries?" She added, hoping that he wouldn't dismiss her, like he'd done previously along with coworkers, and claim she was getting 'too involved'. He thought for a moment, and gave a slight shake of the head.
"Maybe?" He replied simply, "I do find it slightly unlikely that a wound that bad could happen from a fall, but it's no unheard of," He mused. Zosia nodded thoughtfully, but part her wasn't convinced and Dom sensed this, so he continued, "Besides, if something had or has happened, I think we can trust her to tell at least one of us," He assured her. She nodded simply, part of her still suspicious, thinking that he was just saying - To stop her having a bi-polar 'episode'. She sighed quietly, and mumbled something about her break being due to end. She then got up from the table and went to get in the lift. Dom shook his head, hoping he hadn't upset her unintentionally. He sipped the last of his can of coke, and considered what she'd said, knowing that there was some degree of truth in it. He hoped in many ways that she was wrong, as he hated to see people close to him hurting, especially what with what Star had already had to deal with since arriving at Holby.
