If I gave up that easily, then I would still need help with my math homework.

I have...three...challenges for this. I need to work on this before continuing Polar Opposites. And stop yelling at me (even though you never did) for starting a story when I have so many uncomplete stories. I've completed 7, that's good enough.

This is sandydragon's next challenge, and it's a toughie. Firestar must hallucinate, Tigerstar must learn how to speak mouse, AND I have to introduce the Warriors to the wonders of the iPod. I may have capitalized the wrong thing. And I don't have an iPod (gasps from 95% of the world), I have an MP3 player. In fact, four of my family members including me (there's five of us) have music playing devices. One of them (my dad) has an iPod. My brothers and I have MP3 players. So I don't know the wonders of the iPod, but I assume it's similar to the MP3 player. So I'll go with that.

Thanks for wishing me good luck.


Tigerstar sat in the Dark Forest. Because everyone knows that the dead Tigerstar is in the Dark Forest. Yes, it's really the Place of No Stars or something, but Dark Forest is shorter, is it not?

There's no food in the Dark Forest. Nor any water. So Tigerstar just paced around, waiting until nighttime so that he could haunt his relative's dreams.

(Author's Note: Yes, he visited Lionblaze and Jayfeather. Shut up. They thought they were his relatives, it counts.)

Tigerstar decided to figure out if he could haunt the living world. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he found himself looking at a lake.

Or at least, it would have been a lake. Those of you who've read past the first chapter or so of The Fourth Apprentice would know that the lake is the size of the puddle due to a drought. Those of you who've read past the sixth chapter would know the real reason the lake is gone, thanks to Dovepaw. But assuming you don't, let's just say a mysterious drought has caused the lake to dry up, despite all of the rain. (Figure out the cause yet?)

That's enough spoiling. Tigerstar sighed happily. Ah, to see water again! A mouse crossed his path. And food!

Tigerstar mentally shook himself. He wasn't like that, and he knew it. He was an evil cat who almost ruled the whole forest, and died as a result.

Remembering that a mouse was looking at him curiously, Tigerstar glanced at it. "¿A dónde va? ¿Habla español?"

The mouse looked at him curiously.

"Mice don't speak Spanish, stupid!" Spottedpaw13 typed.

"Wake up on the wrong side of the den?" Tigerstar asked her.

"No. I'm sleepy and it's my favorite time of the month," Spottedpaw13 replied, the word favorite laced with sarcasm.

Tigerstar shrugged. "What language do mice speak?

"Mouse, duh."

"Whatever." Tigerstar shrugged again. "Squeaky! Squeak squeak!" (No translation available.)

"Squeakity squeaker squeak!" the mouse replied. (translation: You like tangelos? What?)

Tigerstar groaned. "Squeaky squeaky. I can't speak mouse." (translation: Come on! I can't speak mouse.)

"Squeaker." (translation: Sounds like it to me. I don't think you understand it, though.)

"Tigerstar learned how to speak mouse!" Spottedpaw13 announced, sounding like one of those pop up things from Legend of Zelda that tell you when you get a dungeon map or a new weapon/mask. "Too bad he can't understand it."

"I can speak mouse? Nice. Wait, why can't I understand it?" A note appeared in front of Tigerstar's face, which he read. "Tigerstar, I'm afraid no one ever said you needed to understand it. Do you always bend rules like this?"

"I have in the past."


Firestar sighed. It was time to get up. He always hated this time of the day, as many cats did. As he got up, something flickered in the corner of Firestar's eye. Firestar turned towards it, and saw a fire raging in his den.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Firestar screamed like a little girl. "THERE'S A FIRE IN MY DEN!"

Icecloud jumped up the Highledge and ran into Firestar's den. "Then don't just- wait, where's the fire?"

"Right there!" Firestar told her, pointing right at it with his tail.

Icecloud coughed. "Umm....Firestar, there is no fire."

Firestar looked at her as if she was crazy. "You're looking right at it. How could you not see it?"

Icecloud gave him a nervous look. "We should go see Jayfeather. Something's wrong with you.

"Something's wrong with YOU!" Firestar growled, his voice almost giving way to hysteria. "The fire is right there? Can't you see it?"

"Firestar, do you smell smoke?" Icestar demanded. When Firestar didn't respond, she nodded. "Exactly my point. No smoke, no fire. Now come with me. We need to get you to Jayfeather."


As the two cats were about to enter Jayfeather's den, Firestar shyed back.

"Now what?" Icepaw hissed, rolling her eyes.

"There's...a badger...in our camp...right next to Jayfeather," Firestar whispered. "JAYFEATHER! THERE'S A BADGER NEXT TO YOU! RUN!"

"Ignore him!" Icecloud told Jayfeather, speaking over Firestar. "Firestar, we won't let the badger hurt anyone. Please come inside."

Firestar nodded, a little hesitantly, but followed Icecloud inside. Icecloud whispered something to Jayfeather. "And I think something's wrong. Could you check on him?"

Jayfeather's eye twitched, and he nodded. "Thanks Icecloud, you may go. Now, Firestar, describe the badger next to me."

Firestar stared at the badger as Icecloud left the den. "Well....it has sharp teeth. It's looking right at you. It's eyes...are blazing with hunger. And evil. And-OH MY GOODNESS! IT'S GOING TO EAT YOU JAYFEATHER! RUN!"

Jayfeather listened to Firestar's heartbeat, which was must faster than usual because of his fright. "Firestar, I think you might be hallucinating."

"Haluci pating?"

"Hallucinating. It's where you see things that don't exist outside your head. Have you eaten anything poisonous lately?"

Firestar blinked. "No."

"Then something's wrong with your head. Oh well, you must have a screw loose."

"What's a screw?"

"A screw is a metal fastener having a tapered shank with a helical thread, and topped with a slotted head, driven into wood or the like by rotating, esp. by means of a screwdriver."

Firestar gave Jayfeather a weird look. "Ummmm...."

"It could also be a threaded cylindrical pin or rod with a head at one end, engaging a threaded hole and used either as a fastener or as a simple machine for applying power, as in a clamp, jack, etc.," Jayfeather added.

Firestar's eye twitched. "Where do you learn this stuff?"

"Visions."

"Aren't those similar to hallucinations?" Firestar inquired.

Jayfeather growled. "Yeah, except visions are REAL!"


Much, MUCH earlier, in the time when Brambleclaw wasn't deputy yet but the four Clans (excluding SkyClan) lived around the lake, Spottedpaw13 showed up in ThunderClan.

"Why do you always show up here to show the Clans stuff?" Birchpaw complained. "I thought ShadowClan was your favorite Clan!"

"I know you guys the best," Spottedpaw13 replied with a shrug. "Maybe next time I will go to ShadowClan. Anyway, I've come to show you guys something. And teach you more stuff."

"...Well?" Cloudtail demanded when Spottedpaw13 didn't continue, but began messing with a couple of Twoleg objects. "What is it?"

"Hold on a second!" Spottedpaw13 snapped. "I need to transfer something from this MP3 doohickey to this doohickey I'm going to teach you about!" Spottedpaw13, with her mystical authorly powers, copied all of her music on her MP3 player and transfered it to the iPod in her other hand. "Thank StarClan for screens. Anyway, the doohickey in this hand is the doohickey you're going to learn about, an iPod. The iPod can play music, show records of things that have been recorded that you put on here, and other stuff I don't know about. I've never really used an iPod."

"What's music?" Firestar inquired.

"Music is an art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color," Jayfeather explained.

"Umm....yeah," Spottedpaw13 muttered, giving Jayfeather a strange look.

"How about an example, since I have no idea what most of those words are," Dustpelt suggested.

"Good idea,'' Spottedpaw13 responded, nodding in approval, and opened her mouth to sing.

"God rest ye merry gentlemen let nothing you dismay. Remember Christ our savior was born on Christmas day, To save us all from Satan's power when we were gone astray. O tidings of comfort and joy! O tidings of comfort and joy!

From God our Heavenly Father a blessed angel came! And unto certain Shepards brought tidings of the same: How that in Bethlehem was born the Son of God by name! O tidings of comfort and joy! O tidings of comfort and joy!

The Shepards at those tidings rejoiced in heart and mind. And left their flocks a-feeding in tempest storm and wind. And went to Bethlehem straightaway the blessed babe to find. O tidings of comfort and joy! O tidings of comfort and joy!"

As Spottedpaw13 finished, she grinned at the shocked faces of the ThunderClan cats. Then she turned on the iPod and picked a song to play.

"Barrel roll! Barrel roll! Do, a barrel barrel-"

Spottedpaw13 blushed as she paused it. "Wrong song." She changed the song, and played it.

"A used, pink bathrobe. A rare, mint snowglobe! A smurf, TV tray! What I bought on Ebay! My house, is filled with this crap! Shows up in bubblewrap, most everyday! What I bought on Ebay!

(Tell me why) I need another pet rock! (Tell me why) I got that Alf alarm clock! (Tell me why) I bid on Shatner's old toupee! They had it on Ebay!

I'll buy, your knick-knack. Just check, my feedback! A plus plus, they all say! They love me on Ebay!

(Gonna buy) A slightly damaged golf pack! (Gonna buy) Some Beanie Babies new with tags! From some guy I never met in Norway! I found him on Ebay!

I am the type who is liable to snipe you with two seconds left to go! (Woo-oo!) Got of Visa! Whatever'll please ya! As long as I got, the dough! (the dough!)

I'll buy, your tchotchkes! Sell me, your watch please! (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy!), I'm highest bidder!

Junk keeps arriving in the mail! From that worldwide garage sale! Hey a Dukes of Hazard Ashtray! Oh yeah, I bought it on Ebay!

(Wanna buy) A PacMan Fever lunchbox! (Wanna buy) A case on vintage tube socks! (Wanna buy) A Kleenex used by Dr. Dre! Found it on Ebay!

(Wanna buy) That Farrah Fawcett poster! Pez dispensers and a toaster (Don't know why) ... The kind of stuff you'd throw away! I'll buy on Ebay! What I bought on Ebay! "

Whitepaw began clapping, despite the fact that cats can't clap. She stopped, blushing, when Firestar, Brackenfur, Brightheart, and Cloudtail glared at her.

"THIS THING IS AMAZING!" Graystripe shouted as he and Millie ran into the camp.

"HEY! YOU DON'T COME IN UNTIL AFTER LEAFPOOL'S KITS ARE BORN AND ARE APPRENTICED!" Spottedpaw13 spat, chasing the two cats away. "SHOO!"

Brambleclaw grinned and took Spottedpaw13's iPod while she chased the cats. "...iMushroom? What?"

"Curse you video game music! You're so much better than a lot of rock music!" Spottedpaw13 complained as she snatched the iPod from Brambleclaw. "Get your own iPod!" Then she proceeded to destroy it.

"Why did you do that?" Firestar asked.

"I have an MP3 player, which is awesome!" Spottedpaw13 grinned. "Plus, it has the same exact music, so why keep the iPod? I got this for my birthday or something!" Then the yellow she-cat disappeared, holding her MP3 player close to her.

"Somebody's weird today," Sootfur muttered.

"THANKS!" Spottedpaw13 shouted.

"YOU'RE WELCOME!"


I'll tell you, I haven't written chapters this long since the good old days of Daring for Amusement! 2,313 words!

Because of the different time periods, it was hard to remember who was alive when. 'This thing is amazing' was almost said by Bumblepaw, and the clapping almost came from Foxpaw/leap.

I admit, I bent the rules a little with Tigerstar, but I accomplished everything. In one chapter. Yes, it's a huge chapter.

~Spottedpaw13~