A/N: Hello! Thank you for all great reviews. Today I decided to make something different… I just thought that Magnus' and Jace's talk is not something that would fit in a letter, that's why they got their own scene. Plus, I wanted to see how you would react to me writing something other than letters, because I'm planning to start my new Malec fanfiction. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments or any character in this fic. They all belong to Cassandra Clare.


Magnus took a piece of paper and a pen and sat on a chair in a living room. He put the paper on the table, took a deep breath and brought the pen closer to the page, but froze halfway. The truth was, he had nothing to write. Since the day Alec died… well, forty-seven days after he died, Magnus have felt irresistible urge to write these letters. But now… He had no idea what to say. The only thing that could make things better was death. He tossed the pen somewhere behind a couch. He must have hit Chairman Meow because he heard how he mewed angrily. Always so grumpy. Since Alec left, Magnus thought.

He never wanted to die over someone's death. None of his previous lovers were ever worth it. In his immortal life he has loved many people, but this one Shadowhunter… Alexander Lightwood… it was different with him. It's okay to love many people in your life, because when the time comes, someone will appear in your life and change it completely. Then you'll know he was the one. And that Alec was. The one. Magnus closed his eyes and tried to contain himself. He couldn't cry now, his fate was in his hands, and he had a plan. It had to work. Please, let it work, he prayed silently.

Then he understood that was not what he wanted to say to himself, but to Alec. He should share every good and bad thing about himself with him, because he was all his. Mind, body and soul. Forever. Even though some people thought it's nothing but words, Magnus knew the truth. And he hoped Alexander knew too.

Before he could reach for another pen and write everything he felt, he heard the door bell and swore silently. He decided not to open the door. He finally stopped hoping that one day he will see Alec standing there when he opens them. This could be either another annoying mundane or Downworlder in desperate need of help.

Screw you all, Magnus thought. I'm in need of help too, not in a mood to help. He started writing. It was so easy, almost as if he could really speak to him.

My dearest Alexander,

My trip to London is postponed, because I've never even wondered how hard it is to give away the title. The Clave(yes, almighty Clave) has to accept my written request. But mentally I'm not High Warlock anymore. Ever since you died, I'm not.

Magnus smiled. He rarely smiled now, but he found writing letters strangely calming. What else did he want to write? Ah, yes…

I miss you. I miss your touch, the way you used to laugh, especially when something I did made you laugh. I miss falling asleep and waking up next to you. You always had to wake up first and stare at me while I was asleep. You had this adorable smile on your face, the smile worth dying for.

Well, he got to the point.

Yeah, about that… I'm taking care of…

The doorbell began to ring again, and this time Magnus stood up gritting his teeth and began walking hastily toward the door.

"Look," he began, but then he saw it was Jace. "What do you want?" he growled. Jace raised his eyebrow.

"What?!" Magnus asked not-so-nicely, but then he realized what he was wearing. A pink t-shirt with sequined words over the chest, that said Keep Calm and Be a Princess. "Oh."

"Yeah. Oh." Said Jace.

"This was a gift. From Alec." The warlock said and went back to the living room, where Jace followed him. He said nothing sarcastic, it seems he lost a bit of his temper after Alec's death. His parabatai rune was faded, but the emptiness left by his brother remained. Magnus sat on a yellow couch and gestured Jace to sit on another, pink one. Both of them remained silent, but the Shadowhunter broke it.

"What are you doing, Magnus?" he asked, staring at the Warlock intensely. "Trying to drop his title?"

Magnus sighed.

"Even if I AM trying to drop it, why do you care?"

"You're miserable. I can see it really well, and understand it even better. You loved him." Jace said.

"Love him. Not loved." Magnus corrected him. This conversation was slowly beginning to tire him. He avoided looking at Jace because he didn't want him to see how wrecked he really is. "And what do you care if I'm miserable?"

Jace rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation.

"I'm feeling a little… déjà vu – ish. You asked me that question before. You just changed the person you're referring to." His voice was calm, but on the inside he felt like this whole heavenly fire was eating him alive again. "Anyway, whatever you're trying to accomplish, what you think may be right at the moment it's not."

Magnus ran his fingers through his hair and spoke, trying to stay calm.

"Oh, really? Then what's right? How is anything right in this world now? Because I can't see it."

"You don't understand, do you? If you do something stupid… Then what's the point of Alec's death?" Magnus glared at Jace. How can he say such things? He was being cruel and he knew it.

"That's the point, Jace! His death has NO point! But I won't… I can't stay away from it anymore."

"You still don't get it. You think Alec would just let his guard down that much that he got himself killed?!" Jace shouted. He didn't mean to say this to Magnus, but he had to. He had to make him understand. Make him want to live. Save at least one life.

Magnus' eyed were wide open now, he was in deep shock.

"What do you mean?" he asked. When he wasn't given the answer he asked again, louder, almost in snarl. "What do you mean, Jace?!"

Shadowhunter took a deep breath. He knew he was going to break Magnus' heart, but he had to. That's the right thing to do, at least he tried to convince himself it was. He swallowed, but his throat was still tight, so he spoke quietly.

"Alec died thinking he was saving your life, Magnus. The demon we were fighting, he had this special ability to cause hallucinations, and he used it. On him."

Magnus was speechless. He was just breathing heavily and staring at Jace, tears beginning to fall down his cheeks. After few minutes he gained the ability to speak again.

"Leave." He said and his voice broke.

"What?" said Jace. Now he was even more worried. By the Angel, he thought, I think I've made a terrible mistake.

"I said leave! Go away!" Magnus shouted. All these days he tried to remain sane, but now everything that he held tight to was gone. The wave of grief, sorrow and guilt rushed at him and he couldn't do anything but give himself up to them. He was sobbing uncontrollably at the thought of what Jace said to him.

That's it. He's a murderer. His sight killed his own mother, and now it killed Alexander. If it wasn't for Magnus… Alec would be alive.

Tears ran freely down his face and he couldn't catch a breath, it felt like there was absolutely no oxygen around.

And maybe that's what it supposed to be.

That's how it's supposed to stay…

Magnus ran out of his apartment leaving everything behind, because nothing mattered to him anymore.

Nothing at all.


Phew, there it is! I know, it took me long to write it, but look, it's long! Jace was supposed to talk some sense into Magnus, but he only made things worse, sorry. He didn't mean to, and he feels awful, believe me. Ok, thanks for reading, and please, leave a review.