Note: That chapter is unbeta'd, so any mistake is mine. Blame it on me. ;)

"She and I are yet one soul – hers half-alive in me, and mine half-dead in her…" Victor Hugo

"Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to land in Los Angeles. Please fasten your seatbelts…"

Oh my god, that's the nicest thing I've heard since forever.

The pilot's message rings through the aircraft, and people start to fidget in their seats, some because of fear, some because of anticipation… And some, like me, because they can't wait to get out of that damn flying can. I'm sick of it all, airports, flight attendants, uncomfortable seats, and anything that could possibly remind me of a plane.

Okay, maybe the seat isn't that uncomfortable this time. I did pay for a first class ticket after all… but still, believe me, after ten hours of sitting still, trying to read the stupid magazines you bought thinking they would be interesting, even the cosiest seat in the whole world wouldn't make the ache in your backside anymore bearable.

But I know I don't do it for nothing. I picture Angel's face in my mind, the lost look in his eyes when I saw him in that gas station, and that's enough to remind me of the reason why I'm doing this. Suddenly, complaining about a stupid plane seems really ridiculous.

I keep that in mind as I head out for the terminal, after a successful landing everybody felt the need to cheer, and then when I get my suitcase back. Before I know it, I'm out and waiting for a taxi.

As I walk on the pavement in front of the airport, I bask in what I think is definitely one of the perks of that little trip… the weather. It's not raining. There's a bright, and deliciously hot sun high in the sky, and I can't help but smile as I put my sunglasses on. I missed this… I missed home. Once I get Angel back, I so have to spend an afternoon at the beach. But at the moment, it's not really the most urgent thing…

I've pretty much followed my instincts with that whole thing. Trusted my gut and my luck to tell me where to go, what to do. I knew I had to come to L.A, but now that I am actually here, I have no idea what I'm gonna do. Probably wait for the next sign. Or for the next time I see him… or, his Whisper.

I choose a nice hotel downtown, nothing too expensive since I already know the plane ticket must have emptied what was left of my bank account, and decide to take a nap before heading out and starting to look for him… A big part of me is telling me to skip the beauty sleep and head out now, but my brain kicks in at one point and reminds me of what happened the last time I neglected my health.

I spent five days in a coma. So, thank you very much, but I think I'll be reasonable for once.

I quickly put the contempt of my suitcase in the closet, and lay down on the large comfy bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm fast asleep.

o o o o o o o

"Wait!!"

I'm running after something, but I don't really know what… there's that strange smell in the air, I can't really identify it… I ignore it, and keep running.

My legs start to hurt at one point, I don't know how long I've been running… there's that smell again… it smells like… metal? I don't know, I'm kinda confused… My head spins, and that pain in my stomach… I clasp my hand on my belly, and realise that my clothes are damp… I look down… I'm bleeding. I'm bleeding and don't remember being hurt… that's what that smell was…

The world starts to fade away around me, and as I fall on the ground, I hear a desperate voice inside my head, calling my name.

"Buffy!"

It's him. I know it's him. He rushes to my side, and kneels beside me, muttering words I can't really make out. Through my half closed eyelids I see him look around in panic, and I want to reassure him that I'll be okay, but as I try to lift my hand to touch his face, he turns his gaze toward my face. His lips mouth a few words I can't hear, but understand anyway.

"Hold on…"

I wake up with a start. I'm not really surprised, I expected it… Angel has been guest-starring a lot in my dreams the last few days. What's different this time, however, is that I was the one getting hurt. Not him. I can almost still feel my blood on my hands, and the pain… I look down at my stomach instinctively in the faint light, even if I know it wasn't real, and let out the breath I was unconsciously holding. I'm perfectly fine, my white top unstained and my skin still intact.

I sigh, and run a hand through my messy hair. I glance at the window, I can see it's dark outside… I don't know exactly how long I've been asleep, but apparently it was more than the few hours I had in mind when I decided to rest a little.

I shake my head, and switch on the light on my bedside table, before turning around to get out of bed… only to be greeted by a sight that almost makes me jump out of my skin.

Angel is sitting on the chair next to the door, watching me intently.

My breath catches in my throat… it happens to me a lot, these days. At some point, I'm probably gonna die from lack of oxygen. Just like that. Is it even possible? And God, I'm babbling in my own thoughts…

I can't move, I can't do anything, I'm afraid if I so much as blink, he's going to disappear…

He smirks at me a little, probably guessing what's going on in my head, and stands up to come and sit next to me.

My heart pounds in my chest, so fast that I can hear it and almost feel the blood pumping in my veins. My breath quickens… that man is definitely not good for my health.

But suddenly, and before I have the time to realise he is sitting a few inches away from me, he locks his gaze into mine, and everything starts to make sense again… the world is back on its axis, and nothing really matters, because Angel is there next to me; and as long as I can lose myself in those mahogany pools filled with love, and pain, and a dozen other things I couldn't name but still understand, I know everything is gonna be okay.

Willow's words come back to me as I stare at him, not knowing what to do… If a whisper appears, it means he's not dead. And I believe it now… he's not dead. The concrete proof of that fact is right there for me to see.

I'm still not moving, and unaware of the tears that appeared in my eyes until I feel one run down my cheek. I watch as he raises his hand to try and wipe it away, but I never feel the smooth contact of his skin I almost expected... and craved. Something cool and soft dries the dampness under my eye, but the sensation, even if amazing, never chases the regret and longing that are slowly taking over my heart. He puts his hand down with a sad look on his face, and I wish with everything I am that I could take him in my arms, do something, anything, to make it go away.

"Don't cry…"

I jump once again. I heard it… I heard him!! How is it possible? I could hear his words, his voice is low and I have to concentrate, but I can hear him!

I do my best to get over the shock, and soon I'm trying unsuccessfully to find the words to express aloud the thoughts that are rushing through my mind. "H… how can I…"

Nothing more comes out of my mouth. I'm pathetic.

"You're getting closer…"

I hardly made out the last word, but I understood the meaning. And as the fact that he can communicate finally sinks in, my brain starts functioning again.

"How can I find you?"

He doesn't reply, just looks at me, and shrugs…

"I need to know Angel, tell me, where are you?"

"I… I don't know…"

I'm starting to cry again. My shoulders are shaking slightly… I don't want to, but I can't help it.

"But I need to know… please." He has to tell me. I have to know, if I don't find him now after everything we've been through, and after all the hope that has built up in me these last few days, I'll never recover from the pain. He's so close… I can't let him go, not again. I won't be able to.

He's still looking at me in the eyes, a stricken expression on his face.

"Don't… don't cry…"

And it only makes it worse. I try, I swear I try to stop, but I've held those tears back for too long. As I struggle to control my breath, I see him start to fade away.

"No!!" I don't even recognise my own voice, husky with sorrow.

But he seems already far, out of my reach.

"Love you…"

And he's gone.

I press my hands against my face, but no matter how hard I try, I can't contain the sobs that are now shaking my body. I fall back on the bed, and cry my pain away.

o o o o o o o

When I managed to calm down a little, and to breathe for a whole minute without feeling like my heart was going to fall to pieces, I grabbed a stake, and headed out of the hotel.

I'm now patrolling the familiar streets of L.A, hugging myself to try and chase away the coldness that seems to have invaded my whole body. I need to work out my frustrations, and what better way to do this than pummelling a vamp into a bloody pulp? Kicking ass is comfort food I always say, and given that I don't feel like eating right now, it's the perfect solution to get me out of the gloom and doom I seem to be stuck in today.

But apparently, the undead part of the population of this city decided to stay at home. Is there some kind of demonic version of the Jerry Springer Show on TV tonight? I've walked for what seem like hours, and I didn't even get a glimpse of a pointy tooth, or a horn.

And since I don't find anything to distract me, my thoughts go back the subject of the week. Angel. I wish I would see him again, even if I can't touch him… at least we can talk now. Next time, I'll try not to be as emotional… But when I saw him… when I realised that he really wasn't dead, and when he disappeared, it was just too much. I thought I had cried all the tears I had in me for him, over the years. I guess I was wrong.

I keep walking, heading nowhere in particular, and wishing some nasty will spot me alone on the sidewalk and attack me, thinking I'm just some pretty blonde who lost her way. I reach one of the poor streets of the city, the one where run away teenagers try to lose themselves, in drugs, or in sex, or anything they can find… Blank stares vaguely follow me as I pass by, and I don't take the time to stop. What could I do anyway?

I'm just passing the entrance of a dark back alley when I hear a scream. My slayer senses go wild, and I run towards it, never thinking twice. Some action, finally… I'm itching for a fight. There's no light, and it takes me some time to find the person who cried for help. A vamp, obviously male, is holding a brown haired woman in his arms, his face pressed against her neck. I react immediately, launching myself at him, stake in hand…

…When two pairs of arms grab me from behind. Crap. I'm getting too old for this.

The whole alley suddenly lights up, and I'm blinded for a minute. When my eyes finally accommodate, I look around. Two vampires, particularly ugly might I add, are holding me. I don't try to push them away immediately… Good move, because just as I wonder if we're alone, I see at least five more walking toward us.

Damn… How could I let myself get caught like that? Faith would die laughing if she heard about that…

The one who was drinking from the girl lets her body fall in the ground, and turns around to look at me, full game face on.

"Nice party you're having here" I tell him. "Care if I join you?"

He smirks at me. "Not at all… you're welcome… but I don't think you're gonna stay long…"

I give him a hurt look. "You mean you're gonna throw me out? I'm hurt…"

"We know what you're trying to do, slayer… and they don't want you to…"

I raise my eyebrows. "What I'm trying to do? And… what would that be?"

"You know what I'm talking about… They don't want you to bring him back"

So, that's what it is about… of course… I knew it wasn't gonna be easy. Newsflash buddy, I don't care what they don't want me to do… whoever they are. But instead of saying that, I decide to play dumb… it's safer.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

He just shrugs. "Well, then I guess you'll never find out."

I choose that moment to break free from the vamps' grasp. I throw my legs in the air, using their hold on me for leverage, and kick them both on the face. In two quick movements, they're dust… I guess I'm not that rusty, after all.

Their surprise lasts only a moment, unfortunately. They all attack me at once, and soon, I'm lost in a blur of kicks and punches. I manage to dust three of them in the first five minutes, then two, and finally it's just their leader and me. I walk slowly towards him, and he walks backwards, trapped between me and the wall. I need some answers. Now.

"Who sent you?" I say, holding Mr. Pointy menacingly in my right hand. Maybe if I find who my enemies are, I'll figure out how to bring him back… Right now, I'm holding onto that hope.

He lets out a humourless laugh. "Like I would tell you… you couldn't do anything against them anyway. If you kill me, more will come."

I shrug. "Well, I'm willing to take the risk."

I'm about to throw him a punch when a noise at the other end of the alley is distracting me. Three young men are running my way.

"Crap…" I mutter. I turn back towards the vamp, and do a double-take. He's not there anymore.

Everything after that very moment seems to happen in slow motion. I don't know how he did that, but he's behind me, and holds me tightly against his chest. I can't move my arms, and my feet are not touching the ground. He closes his hand around mine, the one that holds the stake, and no matter how hard I try, I can't stop him… He lowers it until it comes in contacts with my stomach, and with one last push, breaks the skin just under my bellybutton. I let out a silent cry.

"Tsk, tsk… A slayer did a bad job today…" he mutters in my ear, before letting me fall out on the ground. "See you in hell, bitch."

When the men who were running toward us finally reach me, he's gone. One of them kneels beside me, I vaguely hear them talk about vamps, and hospital, and being too late…

"Hold on…" the one close to me says. He talks very gently, and I catch a glimpse of dark skin… He scoops me up in his arms, pressing something against my belly…

And then, for the second time this week, I fall into oblivion.

o o o o o o o

So? What do you think? Maybe I got a little over-dramatic...

Please, review! ;)