Tiberius F. Torquils: Star and Marco probably have one of my favorite relationships in cartoons, there's so many facets to it. And Dr. Majesty with Glossaryck? I don't think the universe can handle these two minds in the same room! But I think I may have a little something in mind - in case you cannot tell, Majesty is not done yet in this story ;)
Guest Sorta: Thank you! Hopefully it continues to be once we get into the meat of the story (and God I cannot wait until we get there).
Guest: You are correct on everything you just said! And this particular fear is one that is near-always present in the forefront of Marco's mind. However, that is not all, and there are many things Marco is struggling with at the moment. We will see more of these come into play later.
Guest2: I don't really have a schedule, sorry to say! I kind of just write when I feel like it. Although these shorter, fragmented chapters are certainly making it easier to update, as you can see.
The sky was black by the time Marco got home, but his thoughts were no clearer than when he left school.
Having walked the route many times, Marco allowed muscle memory to carry his feet while he focused all thinking on a single task.
That is, how to talk to his best friend.
"Hey Star. Look, after seeing the school psychologist, I realized there's something we need to talk about."
That sounded good - it got right to the heart of it, told Star this was a time to be serious. But would she be receptive to that? Or just continue to goof around? Marco wondered. Though he felt bad for thinking such a thing, even Star herself would not blame him for doing so; there was never any telling with her.
And there's still the whole dream-thing that Star is worried about, she's definitely going to ask about that. A lurch shot out in Marco's chest, and he felt his insides squirm - Marco had little doubt she wouldn't at least mention it; it was the entire reason why he saw Dr. Majesty in the first place.
Oh gosh, Star's probably expecting one session to be some magic cure-all. This is going to be like the fortune cookies all over again, isn't it?
...Maybe I can ease into it? Entice her with nachos and then we talk while we eat, make it something casual? It would certainly make for a more companionable air.
But what to actually say? Marco never fancied himself a wordsmith, his failed attempts to even talk to the girl of his dreams stood as righteous testament. Which means anything casual is going to sound either awkward or forced. Star will notice something's wrong right away.
And he had no intentions of worrying the princess further.
Marco was so intent on that goal, he had forgone the nachos altogether in favor of how to actually tell her he had no answer for his mysterious sleeping fits. "Now, Dr. Majesty couldn't figure out a way to explain the dreams, but hypothesized that there may be an association with, uh, us..." Star would understand that. She had to. Otherwise, Marco imagined the just-as-likely scenario of Star blinking at him, staring vacantly.
Scratch that, he would think of something better, later. That was not important right now.
I can just bring up the monsters while we eat, he decided, suddenly remembering nachos. But... how would that work out? Marco winced as he realized, What could I even say to transition into this? "So, you know how you have this subconscious dislike of your mother due to her pressuring you into becoming a queen? Well, I may actually be in the same boat except it's... you, and... I may or may not be bothered by your people's attitude towards monsters?"
Oh, yes. Star Butterfly would take that real well.
Marco shook his head and, without realizing it, groaned aloud in frustration - every time one idea began to take form, he would realize how easily it could fall apart because of just how "Star" Star Butterfly is. He must have went through a dozen half-baked plans before he saw that bulbous tower peaking out at him from down the street.
When he reached the front door however, and still without a proper plan of attack, part of him considered just slipping away into his room and avoiding Star until she had to go back to Mewni.
But then, he would just remember what Dr. Majesty had said to him: "Have faith in Star."
And Marco would tell himself, I have faith in Star. It was the first thought of the evening that Marco felt was truly right, deep inside.
He took it as a sign, and entered his home.
Before long, Marco was at the princess's door. He always liked the star-shaped hole cut into the door, with a pair of butterfly wings drawn around it in pink chalk; a cute bit of creativity on her part, while the rest of the markings on her door told the world who Star Butterfly was: "Come in!" said one, with the "o" in the shape of a star, and "Boys Allowed" wreathed in little hearts, which were also doodled all over the door without any real pattern. It drove the obsessive organizer within Marco crazy, but the whole door was just so "Star," in that it exuded a silliness that was innocent and friendly.
And beyond it, near-daily Marco heard the all too familiar 'fwoomp' and whimsical cacophony the wand made when casting a spell at least seven times a day - sometimes only five if Star was in a bad mood. Yet today there were voices on the other side; the princess's was distinctive enough, and another spoke who sounded a lot like Sir Glossaryck.
Huh, Star's actually studying from her spellbook? Marco was unabashedly impressed with her for taking the rare initiative - with him around, or any kind of fun really, Star doesn't just know she has better things to do, she does them, and then challenges the world to stop her.
The only one who could is in a whole other dimension.
And what are the odds she's going to listen to what Earth Turd has to say about her own home? The one you visited, I mean I visited... what, twice? Did the first time even count?
Marco could not help himself - he knew, logically, that Star would care, she would listen; heck, she may even understand him. But there was still that Safe Kid within Marco, screaming at him that he may be crossing some unspoken line, that this was a matter greater than either of them, yes, even Star Butterfly, could understand.
This is crazy, Marco told himself, as the hallway started to spin. But Dr. Majesty said we all do crazy things for the ones we... we care deeply about.
He still did not feel comfortable with himself, regarding Star so strongly, however powerful his affection for the girl assumed at times.
Marco released air he didn't realize he'd been holding. "Okay," he murmured to himself. Then, he took a deep breath... and exhaled, although it came out strained and grievous. "Alright, alright," he murmured. "No more stalling."
Inhaling sharp and deep through his nose, Marco gripped the doorknob, twisted, and pushed in. There was no need to knock, for privacy was a concept Star and Marco had forgone long ago, when the princess found nothing weird about using the bathroom while he showered (royals, Marco eventually realized, were hardly ever alone).
Should greet her first, he thought to himself. That will establish a nice, comfortable atmosphere to have a conversation in.
"Hey Sta-OOF!" Marco was suddenly on the ground, in a small amount of discomfort as something heavy, moist, and, oddly enough, smelling sharply of raspberries tried its very best to turn him into a pancake.
"It worked!" he heard Star exclaim, and before Marco realized it was a narwhal she'd thrown at him, the creature was already gone in a poof of sweet-smelling dust that swirled around him.
Marco tasted the metallic tang of raspberries in his mouth.
Star was in front of him offering a hand before he could analyze how messed up that was. "Sorry, sorry, sorry," she apologized, hoisting him up. Star was grinning though, and prompt in her explanation: "My wand's been acting funky all day. Glossaryck sent me inside to fix it, and I just had-had-haaaad to try it out."
The mental image of Star and Glossaryck dressed like construction workers, fixing some mechanical problem within the wand, was an amusing vision in Marco's head, albeit an unlikely one.
"Well, I can say it's working now." He smiled, ignoring the slight dampness starting to seep into his hoodie. "What was the problem?"
"Oh, Toffee just put one of his fingers in there. He probably did that when I gave him my wand."
"Well, that's pleasant." Marco shook his head, smirking. Memories of being trapped in Star's closet naked and Cloudy running rampant came immediately to mind - definite low-points in his ongoing tenure with Star Butterfly. "Is that why your wand's been malfunctioning ever since?"
The princess shrugged with a cocksure grin. "Probably!" she said with confidence. "I learned some neat stuff though. Like, did you know my mom and Toffee fought once?"
Marco's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "Really?" Star bobbed her head like a can of spray paint. "Huh... Well, it explains why he had a vendetta against you."
"Sure, sure. Except he's blown up now, and I'm still here. So... good job, Toffee. Bravo." Star applauded, and Marco joined in, nodding in agreement.
"A good try!" he said. "I mean, look at how much he planned - he certainly tried."
"Indubitably," she agreed.
"He just didn't try hard enough." That made Star snort, and Marco chuckled himself.
"Well, I can see you two have a lot to talk about," came a voice with grandiose flourish. Star turned, and Marco leaned over to see Glossaryck hovering crisscross above the spellbook as it flipped open to his page in the center. "It has been fun, Princess. Ta-ta, for now!"
"Bye, Glossaryck! Thanks for your help!" Star waved to him.
Marco did the same. "See ya later, Gloss-" SLAM! "-aryck."
Well that was rude, he thought.
Although his agitation must have been clear on his face, for when Star turned back to him she spoke with sympathy. "Oh, he's just tired. We dealt with a lot of craziness in there." She tilted her head back toward the spellbook, where her wand laid on the floor beside it.
Marco simply shrugged, uncaring. "I guess."
He never really liked Glossaryck, and he was of the belief that it was a mutual opinion, for whatever reason. Marco sometimes thought it was because he just didn't "get it;" he never felt more out of place than when Star delved into really magical stuff, things involving the spellbook's avatar like mewberty and "dipping down," among others he did not truly understand. Although Marco found it all to be very exciting, the guru Star toted as her instructor was better left avoided if possible.
He watched her push the massive tome back underneath her bed, and only then did it occur to Marco that he had yet to actually initiate a conversation on his own, the one that needed to happen, that is. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Star flipped gracefully into a standing position.
"So, how was your day?"
Silence fell - both asked the same question. The occurrence froze Star in her movements as she looked over her shoulder, and after a moment and a breathy laugh she strode over, Marco meeting her halfway.
"You first," they said, freezing on the spot.
A smirk was shared, albeit with noticeable weariness in both.
Then a beat passed. Followed by another. By the fourth, Marco realized that Star was waiting for him to go, and he was waiting for something other than that very moment to happen as well.
"So, uh... I did the thing," he began.
"The thing has been done!" Star cheered, pumping both fists. "And? What's the scoop?"
"U-Uh, well..." Marco trailed off, unsure of how to begin. Where to even start?
It was then that a silence had begun to fester, one that, in a rare occurrence between the two friends, could even be described as awkward. Although both tried to hide their true feelings, it showed in spite of their efforts; it showed when Star's eyes slowly darkened, reflecting an emotion far more somber than the little smile forced to her face would want. Her hands were busy, held in front of her heart, grabbing and pulling each finger until a knuckle softly popped.
She's nervous, Marco realized. She's nervous and she's waiting for me to get on with it.
Suddenly, Marco felt his face flush with embarrassment, and he palmed his face with a sigh. Okay...
"Star-"
"Did the PhD do it?" she suddenly asked, leaning in slightly.
Marco pulled away, blinking. "Wh-What?" he uttered, stupidly.
Slowly, the princess asked, "Did the Pretty Handsome Dude use his mind-karate to defeat the demons inside your skull?" Her anxiety was clear, although Star kicked her feet out a little bit to express this battle, coupled with a classic Star-smile, broad and toothy.
"Star, that's not what-" Marco shook his head. "No, the psychologist was a she, and her name was Dr. Majesty."
"Ooooh! A P-h-G, nice!" the princess cooed.
Marco chose to ignore that horrendous pun. "Yeah..." What Star said prior echoed in his mind, and Marco's eyes widened slightly.
"Wait, demons in my skull?" The girl nodded, smiling in anticipation. "Star, come on, I told you that it isn't demons! If it were, that creepy witch doctor we visited would have picked up on something. Eugh," he shook his head, cringing at the memory. "I drank that peas-and-banana smoothie for nothing."
"Your face made the whole trip worth it, though," Star said with a cheeky grin.
Marco rolled his eyes. "Of course. But we talked about this before - it isn't always some otherworldly force we have to fight. It stinks, I know, but not every problem is something you can just punch away, Star."
Throughout this exchange, Marco wanted to just take his own hand and chop himself in the face with it. Really, man? he asked himself. You're going to dance around this as long as possible? No wonder he hadn't asked Jackie out on a date yet.
Star, unaware of Marco's internal battle, sagged in her posture. "I know, I know," she grumbled. "Wish you could though. Don't you just hate not being able to fight your way out of every problem?"
"Yeah... those are usually the hardest, the ones without an easy solution."
Being queen is doing just that. Out of everything, Marco hoped his friend would be ready for when that time comes, whenever it may be. She may not be as lucky as she was back at Ludo's...
With that memory now on his mind, Marco suddenly felt compelled to lock eyes with Star. She, oddly enough, must have felt the same; for when they did, both were given a little start, yet something Marco read as recognition, and then understanding, was shared between them. All while in the corner of his eye, Marco spotted a painting of an old sailor.
He took a deep breath. "Star-"
"Marco-"
They did it again. "Hah... you go," insisted the princess.
Marco paused, only for a second, as he wondered what Star had to say in that moment. But you can't avoid this any longer, came a voice from within.
He was compelled to agree.
"Star..." Marco hesitated. Word this carefully, Diaz. He felt his lips quirk into a shy little smile, the perfect mask to conceal how fast his heart was caving a hole a through his sternum. "...Dr. Majesty and I talked, a lot. Not, Not just about the, uh, the dreams, but also about some... some other stuff."
"Yeah, for like three hours!" Star Butterfly exclaimed. "What did you guys talk about?" She rocked back and forth on her heels, and Marco found himself wondering if she was taking this seriously.
"We did, yeah. And, the... what we talked about, I mean... what Dr. Majesty thinks is the source, I mean the main cause... of..." Marco groaned, eyes wrenched shut and turned away from Star. Why was this so hard?
Why was talking to Star suddenly so hard to do?
"Marco?" He opened his eyes - the princess was in front of him, leaning over so she was directly in front of his face, blue eyes searching. "You alright, bud? Is everything okay?"
The look on her face, the genuine concern, was enough to make Marco feel all the more ashamed. But I have to do this.
"Star," he began, considering one last time before it was too late; he pushed on, "can we... can I, ask you about something?"
Her eyes went alight. "Of course, of course!" She clasped her hands behind her back and leaned in slightly, one ear out. "I'm listening~," Star sang.
Forget about the dreams, Marco told himself, preparing. Forget about Dr. Majesty, and forget about your worries. Just talk to Star. Talk to her about what needs to be talked about, and everything will be okay.
Everything will be okay. The sheer idea those words carried were enough for Marco to shun all prior fears.
With a final breath, and a random nod, Marco asked, "Star, I was wondering if... do you, uh, you really think that none of those monsters managed to escape Ludo's castle? Be-Before your wand blew up, I mean?"
Star Butterfly pulled back, smirking with one hand on her hip and the other waving him off. "Aw, you're still worried about that, Marco?"
Although he couldn't blame Star for being unaware, Marco still felt rightfully irked at being patronized. "Well?" he snapped. Marco winced internally, and spoke softly when he continued, "Do you think they all, you know... failed to escape the explosion?"
"Tch, only if we're lucky," Star said with a roll of the eyes. "And if they did? Somehow, someway? Then, well, they'll just think twice before messing with us again." A fist beat into her palm to emphasize that point.
There was a beat. Marco didn't know what else to say, what to feel, besides... disgust.
Those guys are all dead now, and Star is actually happy about it. He had to stuff his hands into his hoodie to hide their shaking, all while his thoughts whispered to him, Marco will not let himself be subsumed in the Butterflys' butchery.
And so Marco looked Star in the eye, and asked in his quiet, little voice, "How could you say that?"
Star regarded her friend with confusion. "Huh? W-What?" she stuttered.
It would be so easy for Marco to flick her in the nose, yell, "Psyche!" and then cobble together a convenient lie and pretend he never just said that. But then, as if in protest, he heard Dr. Majesty in the back of his head, "If you fall back, you will forever be lost."
Though, he couldn't continue meeting Star's scrutinizing gaze. "Those monsters might all be dead, Star," he said while looking at her feet. "Doesn't that bother you? Even a little?"
"Iiiii..." Marco flicked his eyes up; he could practically see the "Systems Error" flash across her wide, blue eyes. "What's the big deal?" she then asked him. "I've killed monsters before."
She talks about it so casually. He briefly considered relenting and putting this discussion to rest, until he felt Dr. Majesty push him forward, and with reluctance, Marco said, "That's... a little messed-up, Star."
She did the gasping and stuttering thing. "What are you talking about?" she eventually got out. "They're monsters, they're evil! Who cares if they're dead? Literally, no one is missing them!" Star paced back and forth while she talked, until she made a sudden stop and regarded Marco with an oddly sly, sidelong look.
"No one except you, Marco." She spoke as if she just figured out some greater mystery. "You're not getting soft on me, are you?" Her eyes brightened. "Or, O-Or unless you're not my bestie, but some monster in a costume! In that case, I'll save you, Marco!" The princess took a fighting stance, while Marco continued shooting her a look flat as warm soda.
"I'm being serious, Star."
His no-nonsense tone, one so rarely used against the princess herself, gave her pause. And slowly, Star straightened up, arms secured over her chest while giving him a funny look. "Are you sure everything is okay, Marco?" she asked. "What brought all this on? When did you suddenly start caring about monsters? Especially after they, hm, I forgot!" She mockingly tapped her chin. "Oh, that's right! After they tried to kill you!" She waved her hands, expressing the insanity of her best friend's thinking.
All the while her words replayed in Marco's head, over and over until he felt himself actually growing frustrated with just how ignorant she was being.
"So all monsters deserve to die, then?" Star's mouth opened and closed, yet no words came. "Buff Frog, it wouldn't matter if he died tomorrow, right? Because, you know, he's a big evil monster and all."
The princess reeled as if she'd been slapped. She blinked, she gasped, she stuttered until she got out, "What is with you?!" and then whirled around, walking away. "No, Marco, of course not! Buff Frog's our friend, and he has Buff Babies now! End of story." The princess approached the spiral-staircase leading up to her loft.
Marco was right behind her. "And I can guarantee thousands of others do, too! You don't think Buff Frog is the only monster with kids, do you?" At the same time they lurched to a stop, right at the base of the stairs. Marco felt a spark of hope flickering in his chest.
"Do you understand what I'm saying, Star?"
Slowly, the princess turned. She turned, and turned, until she was fully facing Marco, where deep in her eyes he could see the mixed emotions of hurt and disgust ablaze.
In a low, cold voice, Princess Star Butterfly asked, "You actually think I would kill monster-parents and their children?" She started advancing towards him, and before Marco realized it, he was walking backwards to keep a foot between them. "You think I'm like the Monster Carver? Are you really asking if I would do something so horrible?"
Her voice asked one question, but Marco heard her tone say something quite different: "How could you think this about me?"
Now, Marco was more at a loss for words than ever. This was not at all what he wanted to talk about. "S-Star, I didn't mean-"
His back unexpectedly hit the wall, and Star was unexpectedly in his face. "I knew those monsters, Marco," she snarled. "They didn't have children. Because, otherwise, they'd have better things to do with their time than working for vicious idiots like Ludo."
Star stepped away, stepped, stepped... and stopped. She folded her arms, face flushed and eyes flared.
"So, that justifies it?" Marco wondered. Star tilted her head. "Killing them?"
For the second time that day, Star asked Marco, "What is up with you!?" and he truly did not know the answer.
Star continued before he got the chance to. "Did that Dr. Majesty brainwash you or something? When did you become a monster-lover all of a sudden? I, I don't get you, Marco! I thought you'd be glad to never hear from them again! But now you're, you're... what, missing them? You feel bad for them? Marco, think about it for a second, and really think."
Marco thought - he thought about what Star just said, the tone she used, and frowned at being talked to by her, of all people, like he were a child.
And Star enunciated every word so Marco could understand. "These monsters had every intention of killing you. Every-single-time we fought them, they planned on doing not just that, but to me too, and then using my wand to destroy my home and the people I love."
She let that sink in, except Marco did not need the extra time to. He continued regarding Star with a stiff glare.
"But they were never gonna do that! And you know why?" She put a finger to his chest and prodded him with every word: "Because they're monsters, they're stupid, and they are evil!" Marco swiped her hand away.
Star took a step back and concluded, "The world is a better place without them infesting it," poison tainting her every word.
Marco was stunned to the point where speech was impossible. He had seen Star angry before, but he had never seen her so furious, so vicious, and so...
...heartless.
Scowling, Marco finally took a step towards Star. "I can't believe you even still think all that, after everything we've seen!"
"Pfft, like what? I remember seeing my first monster when I was four. Four, Marco! And he tried to take me away from my home and my family for some stupid corn. I remember beating him up myself, and then he never tried that again." She smiled all smug-like, as if that were her trump card. "These are the things you are trying to defend, Marco: stupid, violent, greedy monsters. And you still haven't told me why you suddenly care about them!"
Although he kept a face of stone, every word felt like a punch to the throat for Marco. He knew, deep inside, that Star was probably right, that he was being an idiot and she was justified in feeling the way she did. But he was not trying to change her view, just to understand his own.
There lied only one thing he was certain of, and that was Star did not understand him. In truth, that was all Marco wanted. "But what about Lobster Claws?"
"Ugh!" Immediately the princess began to walk away.
Marco reeled, blinking, before he found himself walking after her. "Star, you even said he had some good in him! How can you look me in the eye and continue telling yourself that all monsters are evil?"
Star whirled on him. "He punched you in your perfect face, Marco! Then they almost killed you! Why do you even care?"
"Because that proves you're wrong!" he said, and with that, Star froze. The two friends locked heated gazes, silent, defiant.
Was she finally going to listen?
"If Lobster Claws had the ability to be good, then doesn't that mean all monsters do?"
"Sure, Marco, maybe they do. Maybe every monster in existence secretly eats candy and cuddles with puppies, and I'm just a big dummy. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
"No, Star-! That's not what I mean, just listen!"
Star did not, however - instead, her volume climbed and climbed until her voice rang in the vastness of her bedroom. "I don't know anything at all about how every monster in Mewni feels! I don't know why they do the things they do! And you know what, Marco? You don't either! You don't know anything about my home!"
"Then explain it to me!" he demanded, beating a palm against his chest.
"What!?" Star snapped, still in the haze of her fury.
"Explain to me, right now, Star. Explain why it is justifiable, to just freely kill whoever you want! Tell me your side, I want to hear it. We both know that no one else is ever going to ask you this, because you know you can get away with it!"
He did not mean that, Marco did not mean to say that, and truly he did not know where that came from. Oh, how he wished he could take back that last part.
The look of utter shock in Star's face told him it was too late. "How DARE you!? Monsters attack mewman villages all the time, some of them even managed to kill a few people, innocents! And you think it's so wrong to return the favor!? Especially after they captured you, they threatened your life, and mine, and my home?! You're actually mad at me for saving your life?! ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME MARCO?!"
"No, it's not about-stop, STOP!" Without thinking, he grabbed Star by the wrist as she turned toward the stairs.
The princess's eyes were fury. "Let go of me!"
Marco did so. "Then listen to what I'm actually trying to tell you, Star! This isn't about ME!"
"Then explain it to me, Marco! PLEASE!" Tears had welled in Star's eyes, tears previously unseen by Marco until they finally spilled forth, tracing her cheeks, and the princess was weeping softly.
He watched, stunned, as she continued, "I don't, I don't know if, if I did something wrong, or this is just some Earth-thing I don't understand, but... I... I'm sorry. I don't, I dunno what I did wrong, or why you're yelling at me, but, but I'm sorry, I'm sorry Marco..."
A wave of sobs came, and without a second longer Marco was at his friend's side, both arms wrapped around her trembling shoulders. Despite everything that was said, Star did not push him away, nor ignore his gesture. She leaned into it, nuzzling the front of his hoodie.
Even this, Marco felt was too kind of the princess. He eased the two of them down into the stairs, all while feeling like the worst person in the universe.
"What did I do to make you angry, Marco?" she asked, wiping each of her eyes with the fabric of his hoodie. "I don't understand..."
Marco thought hard - he thought he was the biggest jerk in the universe to outright reduce his friend to tears. "I didn't want this," he said aloud, and in response he felt Star lift her head. He refused to lower his gaze to meet her's, though.
"I'm... I don't know what's wrong with me, Star. I guess, I mean I just... couldn't deal, I guess... with the fact that my best friend killed, has killed, a ton of monsters. I don't..."
Marco untangled himself from Star and just buried his face into his palms, sighing. "I screwed this up so bad. And... I made you cry, Star." He lifted his head to look her in the eyes - red, slightly puffy, but no longer crying, just wide and curious as ever. He felt a serrated knife drive its way through his heart. "I'm so, so sorry. I never wanted that, I-"
A hand was on his mouth.
"Shh." The princess lowered it before he could do it himself. Star's eyes were looking deep into Marco's, searching for something he did not know. It went on for just long enough to make Marco grow slightly red and want to look away, were he not so entranced.
"Star...?"
"Was that it, Marco?" she asked, softly. "Has... all this," she gestured vaguely with her hand, "been the reason why you were having those dreams? Those horrible nightmares you can't wake up from? Is it... Is it because of me?" Star, at the very least, looked quite haunted by just the possibility that that could be the case.
No, of course not! his mouth wanted to say. A writhing twisted and painful in his chest held his silence.
Marco had no qualms with letting Star look into his eyes and see whatever it was she saw. When it was time for him to do the same though, Marco could not - he looked out, across the room, out the door that has been open the entire time.
He shook his head. "I don't know, Star."
