You guys are probably used to the apologies by now, sorry it's been so long. You know Christmas time, extremely busy, not to mention exam period in January :/ so how was everyone's Christmas?

Are you guys all excited for the return of glee, I sure am! Warblers are back first two episodes (but without the beautiful and sexy Seb ;_;) I suppose I should make this brief, this is a late Christmas present and late Grant Gustin birthday present.. 23 baby!

Fair warning of sadness, emotion and fluff in this chapter.

Disclaimer: still don't own them...now enjoy :)


An unsettling silence hangs between the two boys, the only sound being the crumpling of the bed sheets as the smaller boy shuffles uncomfortably.

Sebastian?"

The taller boy makes no attempt to move, his head low, his gaze firmly fixed on the soiled tissue in his hands.

He feels a hint of warmth enclose around his hand, it brings a small sense of comfort to him. He craves it at a time like this.

"..Bas?"

He hears the boy's calls but remains still. His body refuses to move, shock keeps his body rigid and frozen; he has given up.

"Um I'll leave you to finish getting undressed, just...call if you need me"

He feels a tight squeeze from the ex-warbler, his minds snaps back to reality. He is going to be left alone.

"...please stay"

The smaller boy stops in his tracks, he resumes his position back on the bed. Concern gleams in his eyes as he examines the warbler captain.

"Are you okay?"

The taller boy lifts his head, the red around his eyes becoming prominent. He stares at the curly haired boy referencing whether he was referring to his physical or mental state. Either way, he was not okay.

He once again forces a small smile, he nods his head in confirmation; it would put the other boy at ease.

"Happy birthday"

He hands the smaller boy the tissue who swiftly disposes of it. If only he could dispose of the previous few minutes; his mind wouldn't be scarred with the sick reality.

He finishes getting undressed and into the comfortable clothes he had been handed, they held the strong aroma of the smaller boy; it was a scent he treasured deeply.

He watches as the ex-warbler shuffles around hesitantly, neatly organising his desk and running a hand through his thick locks, freeing the curls from the clutches of the sturdy gel.

He is bewildered at the sight, the smaller boy looks so care free and innocent. It makes his heart swell.

"Um..sorry about...this"

The smaller boy points to the jungle of curls set above his forehead.

"but I don't want to risk looking like a Danny Zuko taking a turn in the morning"

He chuckles at the Grease reference; curls or no curls, this boy was gorgeous.

"Don't be...it's hot"

He immediately cringes at his comment. It wasn't said in his usual snarky tone, he had let it slip in a swooning schoolgirl-like fashion. He feels a flush of heat rise to his cheeks.

The smaller boy smiles amorously. Strong, confident, snarky Sebastian Smythe; was blushing.

It wasn't hard to miss, the small tinge of red against the boy's sickly pale skin couldn't have gone unnoticed. The ex-warbler found it adorable.

"Man look at the time!"

The warbler tries to digress from the subject, hoping the embarrassment would fade from his cheeks in the next few seconds.

It was only 11:24, an early night in his eyes. But he remembers the traffic en route to Dalton isn't as fluent in the mornings as the following hours.

The smaller boy excuses himself as he undresses in the bathroom, leaving the warbler captain to his thoughts.

The previous few minutes had provided a brief distraction from his slowly nearing fate, it was in times of isolation he was once again reminded of the cruel truth; he feared the reality the most.

He scans the bedroom once again, catching sight of a framed photograph sat on the near bedside table. He carefully grasps it, inhaling a sharp breath to rid it of the dust that had gathered on its glassy surface.

It was a photograph holding a scene he instantly recognised, he hadn't seen anyone take the photo, nor would have thought the ex-warbler would have treasured it so much. It had been taken late October, when the curly haired boy had returned to invite his old friends to the opening night of his show; his new school's show.

It was a memory of when they had rehearsed uptown girl, it had only been their third shot, yet the addition of the smaller boy had pushed the Warblers to their full potential. It had prided him to be called their captain.

What caught his eyes the most, was himself.

He was smiling, genuinely smiling. There was no sarcastic ring to his actions, no snarkiness portrayed through his emotions. It could be said, that he looked happy.

He looked happy stood laughing with the smaller boy dressed in short grey pants and a dicky bow tie. He looked happy amongst the other boys who proudly referred to him as their captain. He looked happy because at that point; there was no fate. He wasn't dying.

A hint of sadness washes over him, a photograph was simply a fraction of time; like reality, it didn't last long.

The meeting of his crush's lover had followed, then the night at scandals where he had come so close to making the boy his.

It had slowly spiralled downwards from there; he had become sick, the boy had stated he had meant nothing to him, his tiredness had increased, his parents had forgotten him, he had become a regular at scandals, his patience had decreased, he had become a bully and a slut.

Then the added impact of the truth about his health had pushed him that one step too far.

He had almost blinded his one true love, he had almost caused a boy to take his own life; he had hit rock bottom.

He deserved it. At the time he felt no guilt; at the time it was all fun and games; at the time he was a stuck-up asshole.

Now it was time to make amends.

The curly haired boy had abandoned him; he had lost contact, they had barely spoken following the events of Michael week. He had tried apologising; it had been too late.

The Warblers had become the enemy, the sentimental memories the smaller boy held of the perfectly coiffed gentlemen, had been forgotten. The memories of his new public school friends had replaced the treasured memories of his true family; his true soulmate; his Sebastian.

The boy had continued to live life without him, he had excluded him from his little world; just like his parents had done.

He had been left in the dark, left to gather dust as the boy replaced him with his new friends; just like the photograph.

He carefully sat it back down as said boy returned to the room, pillows and blankets in his hands.

"Is there anything else you need before I..."

The smaller boy eyes the warbler with concern, seeing his sunken features; he looked broken

"Sebastian?"

The taller boy once again looks up, curiously gleaming in his eyes at his summoning

"Yeah killer?"

The curly haired boy dismisses his previous thoughts and begins to make up the camp bed, occasionally looking back at the taller boy. Something was obviously bothering him, apart from the obvious.

"Doesn't matter"

The warbler captain looks down disheartened at the camp bed, he was hoping his invitation to stay had been with the terms of sharing a bed with the generous smaller boy. Apparently not.

It only takes a few more minutes before everything is set up. He begins to shuffle closer to the edge as the ex-warbler makes his way over to the bed.

At this point it was late, his body was becoming increasingly tired; he couldn't muster up the strength to move from the comfort of the double bed.

The boy pulls back the covers, carefully fluffing up the pillows before gently pushing the taller boy back against them, he draws the thick duvet over him, providing him with a sense of warmth and a stronger smell of the curly-haired boy.

He was confused, why was he being tucked into the boy's bed? Wasn't the guest supposed to sleep on the camp bed? He ignores the thought and smiles, the boy was giving him his bed; he felt a bit of a burden.

"Wait...where are you going to sleep?"

He knew it was a stupid question and that the answer was pretty obvious, but he wanted to hear it. He just hoped the boy would soon become frustrated at the make-shift bed and would consider joining him in the comfort of his own bed.

"Um here"

He gestured towards the smaller bed before quickly pulling back his own covers and beginning to make his way over to the light switch.

"Not fancy joining me?"

The taller boy pouted, tapping the empty space next to him on the bed.

The smaller boy fumbled for words

"I...um, I don't really think that's a good idea"

The warbler captain looked slightly taken aback, it wasn't long before that they had passionately made out on the same bed. Did he think he wanted more now?

He rolled his eyes, smirking at the ex-warbler

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna try and get in your pants tonight killer"

The smaller boy smiled, the cocky attitude was back. It was a breath of fresh air from the weak and broken Sebastian he had encountered earlier on.

"I just think its best for the time being...I don't wanna push it, you know?"

He would prefer it if he pushed it, he just wanted to be held close to the boy. To feel a kind of protection shield him from the hurt that was enclosing on him; to feel a sense of love.

"Hmph fine"

The taller boy grunted, trying to make himself more comfortable against the velvety pillows.

Darkness washes over the room as the smaller boy flicks the switch and proceeds to make his way over to his bed. He stumbles slightly as he clambers in, causing a loud creak to diffuse thought the house.

The room is still and silent apart from the occasional shuffling from the warbler captain. He feels at home slightly, the bed is softer and warmer than his dorm's, not to mention bigger, and the sweet aroma vaporising from the bedsheets makes it feel like Paris again.

He is grateful for tonight, grateful for the ex-warbler's kindness. If it had been anyone else, a fellow warbler, a family member, he would have simply brushed their kindness off; it would have been more out of duty than good will anyway.

"Blaine?"

He whispers. He knew the smaller boy most likely helped him out of pity rather than affection, but either way he still helped him. It was one step towards forgiveness; he wanted that more than anything.

"Yeah Seb?"

He pauses and smiles at the pet name. Whatever Blaine called him would sound cute in his ears. As long as it wasn't Sebastard as he had been called once before.

"..thank you"

The smaller boy smiles as he expresses his gratitude. It was the least he could do to help, he really cared about this boy, whether he was sick or not; he would never forget Sebastian.

"Anytime"

The taller boy returns the smile, fatigue washes over his body as he does so. He takes one last look at the photograph, straining his eyes in the dark to capture its detail and sentiment before falling into the realms of sleep.


He hears muffled voices as white lights flash back and forth his vision. He feels a pull on his arm and the sound of sobs amongst the rustling in the room, he recognises that cry; it was his mother.

"Heart rate is dangerously high, induce 1.25mg of bisoprolol stat"

He feels the pounding in his ears drowning out the sounds in the room, he desperately tries to focus on the distorted faces as he tries to regain consciousness.

He couldn't remember what had happened. He couldn't work out what was happening. There were hands grasping at his limbs, sharp incisions being made into his arms, he felt trapped; was this his punishment?

As his struggling continues, he slowly feels a sense of release from the tight hold his body was under. His chest feels less restrained, he can breathe once again. The pounding in his ears was beginning to subside.

"He's stable now, you can see him"

The muffled voices were gradually becoming more audible, he was semi-conscious now; he could see the blurred faces of his mother and father hovering over him.

"Honey? Can you hear me?...it's okay mommys here, you're going to be fine"

He hears his mother's frantic voice as she attempts to soothe him, he feels scared. This shouldn't be happening, he was fit, he was healthy, how could he be dying?

He tries to focus on them, straining his eyes as he does so; his father looks heartbroken.

"Dad..?"

His father breathes a sigh of relief, it was obvious he had been in a state of panic. As cold hearted and stubborn as his father was, it was hard to believe he had a soft side; that was until he had saw his only child collapse to the floor and be swarmed by doctors.

"I'm here 'Bastian, you're okay"

"What happened?"

He croaks out, looking for an answer in his father's glazed eyes.

"You collapsed from shock, do you remember why?"

He remembers back to before the episode, he felt sick, he felt dizzy, the world was closing in around him. He was sick.

There's a long pause before he speaks again, he allows a single tear to stream down his cheek as he inhales.

"I have leukaemia...I'm going to die aren't I-I..?"

At the last syllable he breaks down, allowing the tears to flow freely from his eyes as his father does the same. It's not long before his mother joins them, allowing her make up to smudge her eyes as she cries into his hair; her arms wrapped protectively around his neck.

The three stay like that for what feels like eternity, the bond between father and son equalling that of his mother's. To the outside world, the Smythe family were wealthy, superior and very prestigious, even behind closed doors they were proper and formal. It was a prodigious sight seeing the trio so emotional and close; one Mr. Smythe would not be a man to cry in public.

The attorney would be able to keep it private, sweep it under the mat as he usually did. Whether that be with his own problems or his client's, tell-tale evidence would always be kept hidden. He had managed so far, he had managed to keep his family in the 'perfect' rankings; despite his son being gay, he had managed to persuade the wider world that his Sebastian was an unflawed darling prep. school boy.

Perfection was one of his aims, he could not change that. He would never as much as whisper a moment of his weakness or let slip any emotion, and he had taught his son to do the same.

The warbler captain continued to sob, what hurt the most was seeing his family so broken. His parents so broken. Himself so broken.

It was all his fault.

He continued to cry, not caring anymore. This changed everything, he couldn't let it. He needed to be strong, he needed to be the Warbler's leader - their strong, yet dying leader.


He sniffs, wiping his eyes as he realises he had been crying. It was the same dream, the same haunting memory that returned every night. The same scene replaying over and over again in his subconscious mind. The same dream that pained his heart and caused him to cry.

He remembers he is not at home, nor in his dorm. There is another occupant in the room, he hears him shuffling; he had heard his sobbing.

"Seb-Sebastian..?"

The smaller boy sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He is confused, yet concern is evident in his voice.

His nose is blocked, he sniffs to clear it causing the other boy to rise from the smaller bed.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, he feels a gently shake from the ex-warbler. He tries to remain still, pretend that he is sleeping; he would not be caught crying.

"Sebastian are you awake?"

He tries to keep it in but his eyes fight against his resistance. He lets out a quiet sob which surprises the smaller boy. He pulls the comforter over himself further to hide his vulnerability but is stopped when the curly-haired boy pulls it back and climbs in next to him.

He feels a pair of strong arms wrap protectively around his torso, he feels the heat from the other boy soothe his sore body. He nudges closer to the ex-warbler, yielding further to his comfort.

The smaller boy grasps him tighter, he had never seen the boy so weak. It was something he figured was kept hidden. He tries to provide some comfort to the boy, he whispers soothing words into his ear to calm him, like he used to do with Kurt.

Kurt; Sebastian was like Kurt. Underneath the snarky act was a vulnerable boy just wanting someone to pick up the pieces. The two were polar opposites of course, but perhaps, maybe in this case, they weren't so different.

The taller boy was not Kurt, he realised that. He loved Kurt, Sebastian meant nothing to him, that's what he repeatedly told himself. But he couldn't help but feel like this was supposed to have happened, that it was supposed to be Sebastian in his arms and not the fashionable countertenor.

He wasn't Kurt, he didn't smell like Kurt, his cologne resembled a rich young gentleman and not something sweet by Armani. He didn't feel like Kurt, he was thinner but slightly more broad, his bones sticking out in places due to his thinning body, but his shoulders remaining square and manly.

Most importantly, he didn't resemble what was Kurt. Kurt was introvert, unique, his own person. Sebastian conformed to his father's expectations, he was bred to follow in the path of perfect class.

Through the dimly lit room, he catches eye with the taller boy. He sees the tears slowly streaming down his cheeks, he brushes them away gently with his thumb.

The warbler captain smiles, he lets out a faint laugh.

"I'm sorry...you didn't see me cry, understand?"

The smaller boy bites his lip as he continues to wipe the tears from the other boy's cheek; he gently strokes his hand against his jawline, feeling the slight stubble on the surface that made the warbler captain that more masculine and distinct from his ex-boyfriend.

"Don't apologise, we all cry 'Bas...it's what makes us human"

The taller boy gives him a half smile and sighs.

"Well at let you know I'm not an alien, don't know how well that would go down at Scandals"

He snorts at his attempt at humour, before returning to a serious tone.

"But seriously Sebastian..'Bas, I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, with school, with the warblers, with...this"

He gestures to Sebastian's ill-looking appearance, once again gently running a hand down his sunken cheeks.

"..but I promise whatever you need me for, whenever...just, call me. I promise ill be there"

Realisation hit the taller boy, he was alone at school. He didn't have Blaine at school, "call me" was more of a pick up line than a genuine offering of help. He didn't want to walk back to isolation, he didn't want to walk back to the standards of perfection, where one could not be seen as weak or vulnerable. He couldn't continue alone.

"...come back to Dalton"

He whispers into the smaller boys ear, almost in a seductive manner.

"Sebastian I.."

"...you're a Dalton boy"

The curly haired boy expresses a small smile. Maybe he was a Dalton boy, he recalls the feeling of happiness he felt when he was surrounded by the blazered clad of young men.

But now was not the time to be making heat-of-the-moment decisions, he had done that with Kurt and it had left him in this situation now.

He once again secured his hold on the warbler, snuggling closer to him as he tried to regain some sleep.

He drifts off fairly quickly, the dilemma of his near future decision circling his mind, he has two options; one in particular seems like magnet drawing him closer in temptation.

A familiar phrase props up from his conscience; Once a Warbler, Always a Warbler.


You guys can give me a late Christmas present and hit me a review :)

Also if you guys have any juicy ideas for the next chapter, review or PM me :)