Chapter Seven
Thank you so much for the reviews! I am posting this now as I am not home all day on tomorrow, or Saturday so I figured I better update now before I get lynched!
Chapter Seven
The partners walked in silence through the city, stopping at a Starbucks and buying a coffee each to go, before going to sit in Central Park, Jackie allowed his partner the silence that she felt that he craved. Finally they sat on a bench and sipped at their coffee. Finally she could take the silence no longer.
"So what's going on with you Reagan?" she asked softly, gently punching his arm in a sign of friendship. He smiled lightly at the action, he had missed his partner the last few weeks, and wished that he had contacted her sooner.
"I've been sick Jackie" he told her gently.
"What kind of sick?" she asked carefully, already feeling that this was more serious than the flu.
"I have got leukaemia Jack" he told her, his voice carrying a depth of emotions that she rarely heard from him. She gasped at the words, shocked that he was so ill and she had known nothing about it. "I'm in remission now, thank god" he told her, blinking through the moisture that rushed to his eyes at his words.
"So you're all better?" she asked, confused.
"The disease is in remission, but the chemo killed off healthy stim cells as well as the cancer cells" he told her, verbalising things for the first time. "The consultant says that the best option is for a bone marrow transplant" he continued, blinking furiously.
"Who is the donor?" she asked, placing her arm around her partner's shoulder to offer whatever comfort she could.
"Jamie, if I let him" he replied quietly.
"Hey, what do you mean if you let him Reagan!" she retorted, confused by his apparent refusal to allow his brother to help him.
"It's dangerous, I don't want him putting himself at risk" Danny replied, his tone weary.
"And what happens if you don't have the transplant?" Jackie asked, her concern growing for the defeated tone of her friend's voice.
"I don't know, I guess that the cancer may come back" he replied, lost for what to do.
"Danny, I think you're crazy. You need the transplant, your little brother is willing to give you the transplant- and it is the best chance of you being healthy, why won't you do it?" she replied, her tone carrying her confusion.
"I can't Jackie, I can't let my kid brother do that for me, what if it makes him sick?" he commented, looking away.
"That's a big if Danny, Jamie knows the risks, and is willing to do it anyway. He loves you Danny and wants to help you" she told him, pulling him towards her. "You don't always have to look after other people Danny, sometimes you have to think of yourself and what you need. You need to get well Danny, you have two small boys that need their Daddy, you have your beautiful wife and your Dad. Hell you have me Danny and I need you to get better" she told him, speaking from her heart. He sighed against her, he could see the logic in her argument, he wasn't totally convinced, but he could understand that it was the right thing to do, he just wasn't sure that he could do it.
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"Hey Dad" Jamie greeted as his father returned home from the hospital. "Where's Danny?" he asked, confused that his father was alone.
"He wanted to drop by the precinct. I think he just wanted some time to himself to think" Frank replied with a sigh. He was worried sick about his eldest child, he was so ill and hell bent on not accepting the help that he needed to survive.
"How did it go?" Jamie asked quietly, handing a beer to his father who accepted it gratefully.
"As well as can be expected really" Frank replied. "He is remission, thank god" he stated, and he meant the praise for god helping his son. "The consultant says that the bone marrow transplant is the best option for his long term recovery" he concluded, taking a long slug of the beer.
"The centre called me earlier to go in for the last few tests" Jamie replied.
"Are you sure that you want to do this son?" Frank asked his youngest quietly. Jamie looked up in confusion.
"Of course" he replied indignantly. "I would do anything to make sure that Danny could get healthy" he continued, surprised at the question.
"I thought as much Jamie. You should know though- Danny is resisting it" he told the young rookie.
"Why?" he asked in surprised, surely his brother would want to get better.
"He is trying to protect you" Frank replied softly, trying to tread carefully.
"He doesn't need to protect me, I can look after myself" Jamie scoffed.
"Jamie, your brother is hurting. Whether he likes to admit it or not at the moment he is tired and vulnerable and his emotions are all over the place from the illness and the drugs. He has put the walls to protect himself, and I think in doing so his big brother persona is stepping in to protect you" Frank reasoned. "I think he would just feel responsible if anything were to happen to you" he concluded.
"Nothing is going to happen to me, but he will die if he doesn't let me help" Jamie replied, his tone carrying his desperation.
"We won't let that happen" Frank assured him, squeezing his son's arm, and praying that his assurances were true.
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Danny walked for some time when Jackie had headed back to work, he wanted some time alone with his thoughts. His emotions were all over the place, and he wasn't used to feeling so out of control. He hated the overwhelming sense of weakness that lingered around him, he hated the looks of pity he got from those around him, he hated his family treating him with kid gloves, and he hated himself for getting for sick in the first place. He wasn't designed to cope with things such as this, bullets and explosions he could deal with- but this was out of his experience. He was exhausted, he had only walked for three blocks before he had been forced to give up and sit on a bench for some rest, just another reminder of his weakness. He sighed and closed his eyes hearing Jackie's words over and over in his mind- maybe she was right and he should let Jamie help, but then what if something happened to his brother? He would never forgive himself. He rubbed his hands through his hair, and almost sobbed at the clumps of his brown hair that came out between his fingers. He looked around him, and saw a barbers shop across the street- at least this was something he could control.
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Linda rushed through the front door with her boys, desperate to see her husband. She was surprised to find him nowhere to be found.
"Where's Danny?" she asked her father in law softly.
"He hasn't come home yet" he replied, trying to force his own worry out of his tone.
"Where did he go?" she asked, concerned already.
"He wanted to drop by the precinct" Frank replied, about to continue when the front door once more opened and the subject of their conversation stepped through it.
"Hi" Danny greeted softly, and Linda gasped as she took in her husband's new appearance. He looked like they had gone back in time fifteen years to when he was in the marine corps, his hair was cropped to the scalp, his soft brown locks nowhere to be seen. The sight brought tears to her eyes, as she recognised why he had gone to such an extreme.
"Hi babe" she finally replied, stepping forward to hug her husband and relieved when he fully returned the embrace. He took her hand and led her upstairs to the bedroom, before sitting her down on the bed. He sat beside her and told her everything that happened that day, when he had finished the two of them laid back in the bed entwined in each other and allowed sleep to claim them.
Chapter Seven
