Hello! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but things have been hectic. School's just ended, my Aunt is in town, and there's a wedding I have to prep for. Anyway, read, review, and ENJOY!

Welcome to Godbook!

Ares' Page

How to be good with the ladies: (Thanks to I'mDifferent-GetOverIt aka Different)

-Act cool

-Be me

-Have nice abs

-Play sports in front of her

-Always show off

-Be strong

-Be the god of War

-Just don't flirt with Aphrodite. She's MINE.

Comments on How to be good with the la….(8)

Zeus: I don't need these tips. I'M THE FREAKING RULER OF THE GODS, BABY! That's an advantage right there ;) 5:09 pm

Hera: Off having affairs, again, Zeus? Gods We had to block this offensive word that starts with 'D', thank you! ~Server Zeus! The last time that happened, you ended up with triplets with some slutty woman! 5:10 pm

Athena: Father, why must you be unwise? You have a wife, and you should stay loyal to her. 5:11 pm

Hera: THANK YOU, Athena. 5:12 pm

Zeus: HEY! Athena, without my 'affair', you wouldn't be here. 5:13 pm

Athena: Oh, I'd show up one way or another. 5:14 pm

Aphrodite: Love you too, Sweetie! 5:17 pm

Ares: ;) 5:18 pm

How to get ripped (again, thanks to Different)

-Be the god of War—you get lots of training

-Lift weights

-Hang out with the people of Sparta

-Fight people

-Sword Fighting

-Training

Comments on How to get ripped: (8)

Hermes: Or you could deliver heavy mail bags all day. 5:20 pm

Zeus: Or throw lightning bolts. 5:21 pm

Ares: My tips work, too, you know. 5:23 pm

Athena: Why do men insist on being the toughest guy around? Why can't they have brains, for once, instead of brawns? What is so terrible about being wise and strategizing before an attack? No, men just insist on being strong and they think everything will work out for them! WELL, it doesn't! 5:26 pm

Aphrodite: Try lifting my heavy mirrors everyday! That REALLY is a workout! And moving my clothing racks, and rearranging my makeup and perfumes! 5:27 pm

Athena: Oh, you have a terrible life, Aphrodite! Lifting mirrors and rearranging perfume? That must be horrible. 5:29 pm

Aphrodite: It is! OMGods! SOMEONE finally gets it! 5:30 pm

Ares: I believe you, Sweetie. 5:31 pm

Tips for picking a fight: (Thanks again, Different!)

-Say stuff like:

-"What, Punk?"

-"You flirting with my lady?"

-"What? You think you're better than me?"

-"Why? You afraid I'll beat you up?"

-"Oh, go crying home to mommy,"

-Act all tough

-Claim you're better than them. WAY better

Comments on Tips for picking a fight: (5)

Athena: Why would you WANT to start a fight? It's unwise. 5:34 pm

Zeus: I AM THE RULER OF THE GODS! No one will dare mess with me. 5:35 pm

Artemis: Boys are animals, Athena. We should just let them be. Plus, I'm not allowed turning the gods into jackalopes.5:36 pm

Hera: Oh, I'll pick fights alright. But not with these tips, my disgrace of a son. 5:37 pm

Ares: What? Mommy, why am I a disgrace? THAT'S NOT FAIRRRRRR! 5:38 pm

How to be awesome (Thanks to LukeMe)

-Be me

-Get a hot chick

-Don't be Hades

-Don't be Apollo

-Really, don't be ANY of the other gods. Just me

-Don't get chucked off Olympus by your mother.

-Don't be crippled like your brother

-Don't be your brother

Comments on How to be awesome: (12)

Hephaestus: Hey! It's not my fault my mother chucked me off of Olympus. But the prank I pulled on her with the chair…haha. Priceless. 5:40 pm

Hera: Don't make me chuck you off again. 5:41 pm

Demeter: You can be awesome by growing cereal! 5:42 pm

Persephone: Mother…you know what, forget it. 5:43 pm

Demeter: Anyone want cereal? 5:44 pm

Everyone: NO! 5:45 pm

Demeter: Sheesh. More for me! 5:46 pm

Ares: I got my hot chick. (: Lawls. 5:47 pm

Aphrodite: Oh, Ares, you flatter me so. 5:48 pm

(I'm not a Pothena fan, but this next comment is for Alice)

Poseidon: Athena, will you be my hot chick? 5:49 pm

Athena: Go away, Poseidon. Go knock up some mortal or something. 5:50 pm

Ares: OOOHHH! BURN! 5:51 pm

How to do good in War (I actually came up with this one..haha)

-Train

-Be buff

-Show off

-Distract the enemy

-We live in Olympus, now located in America. As said in Night at the Museum : Battle of the Smithsonian (which Athena made me watch, saying it had some educational value that would 'help me'), "WE ARE AMERICANS! WE DON'T PLAN! WE JUST DO!

Comments on How to do good in war: (6)

Athena: I regret making you watch that movie. You ALWAYS have to plan. Stupid general. Do you want to be like him and lead 208 people to their deaths? 5:53 pm

Ares:….yes. It'd be funny watching them plead for their puny mortal lives. 5:54 pm

Aphrodite: Ares! That's horrible! What if they had a family and loved ones? 5:55 pm

Ares: Aph, babe, it was a joke…5:56 pm

Aphrodite: I'm mad at you. Our date is OFF! 5:57 pm

Zeus: You just got burned. 5:59 pm

Ares has logged off, leaving this message:

Never say you want to kill someone near Aphrodite. Lesson Learned.

-Ares, the god who doesn't get a date tonight.

A/N It's kind of short, I know, but please review! I love feedback almost as much as Aphrodite loves love! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Up next: Hephaestus. I'd LOVE any ideas you guys have for him (: I'll try to incorporate them all!

I Wish You All Wisdom,

~Suzie